Far Too Late Fantasy Advice and Assorted Grumblings: An Open Thread

How about that Thursday, huh? She’s a real cracker this week. Due to three separate sources of stress the gerbils woke me up at 4:15 EST this fine AM and there was no more sleep to be had. A few hours later I thought, “Ah, a coffee’ll make me feel, at the very least, somewhat energized”. Thing is, we’ve got an old-fashioned kettle that we put on our propane stove. When pouring this morning the cap fell off and boiling water hit my pinkie and his next door buddy. Instant blistering. So this was a “Fuck Everything” day in my brainspace while still trying to be a functioning boss-type person. I left early.

So here are some guys that I feel are up against it this year in fantasy as far as production is concerned-

Kyle Pitts:

HopsHominidBob called him ‘fantasy poison’, stealing the phrase I was going to use. His 1,000 yard rookie season was such a long time ago and folks will point to last season when he nearly reached that mark again. But these successes are outliers and not the norm. His production in ’25 happened when Drake London was injured and an owner needs to count on that happening again if they want serious production. (and of course you’re not going to get TD’s-the most he’s ever caught is all of five)

Ska8erboi and Dart:

I get it and I addressed it in my team preview-these guys are exciting to watch! Do you know what they also have in common? Sheer recklessness and a lack of concern about their bodies. I get it-this approach has served them well thru high school and college whereby they were the best (or close to it) athletes on the field. That’s not the case for an RB that runs a 4.7 40 and a QB that tucked the ball away when pressure came. There’s lots and lots of game film that’s been studied at this point and I fear the worst, like Dart doubling his INT’s at the very least.

Achane:

I feel that this talented guy is on a lonely island and there’s no help coming. His QB is unproven and is likely to tuck and bolt when the O-line inevitably collapses 15 times per game. Achane is a speedy fella that looks for gaps but how many will he see when the opposing D stuffs the box? And the receivers, oh the receivers. Can you name all three starters? No, you can’t.

Mike Evans:

In case you thought I had avoided all these guys and drafted smartly according to some sort of criteria, Evans is my #1 WR on one of my teams. He’s the best “Boom or Bust” guy out there and I swung for the fences, hoping that he’ll be the TD maker of old. But his hammy’s are no good, he’s 33 and he’s in a new offense. Guh.

Anyone on the Browns:

What were you thinking?

Only six days left before the first offering. Will Hippo make it mandatory? Stay tuned.