Boy howdy has this been a day. I bid a very warm welcome to the new commenters that have done some quality yakking on this here blog earlier today. Strong start, fellas. Keep up with the funny. Me? I spent the majority of the day ignoring my family’s wants and needs. They’ve come to expect that beginning (continuing?) in the fall just as the leaves turn. We’ve come to a nice arrangement. The games themselves today were equal parts extraordinary physical displays and mind-bending mental errors. Thankfully I’m equally entertained by both. This football fan did not go hungry. Well, the last tilt of the day is before us. Shall we? TO THE GAME!
The Mighty Giants/Dall-ass: Difference-maker Old Dirty Beckham is a game timer but I sure hope he limps on to the field if only to serve as a distraction for the Cowboys D. His presence alone will make things easier for the Giants. If he’s not there using up the double team then Dallas can free up another defender to attack the basically immobile Eli. That wouldn’t be good. DAK!, Dez and Zeke ran roughshod over everyone else in the league but managed to put up only 26 points against the G-men last year. That said, both games were easily winnable last year. Dallas has lost some guys in the secondary while New York has upgraded at rb, te and wr. I hope that’ll be enough to squeeze out what will no doubt be a tight affair. I’ll say 21-17 Giants. Oh, and Eli will definitely throw an interception. Book it.
Damn. I had all kinds of fun today-let’s keep that ball rolling. LET’S DO THIS!!!
Happy 911 everyone!
Dont forget to wish Bashar Assad a Happy birthday.
/Door flies open
//Door gets ripped off hinges by Irma, lands in Gulf
HOW THE FUCK YA DOIN BOYS???
Just finished Rick & Morty, otherwise my writer is blocked. You?
Not bad, considering.
Sounds like you are getting quite the blow job
Mostly moved east of us. Got really lucky on this one. Though I won’t know how my house is until I get home in a few hours.
I need a caption for this. I keep coming up blank joking about leaping over an Italian.
“WOP” -Chris Berman
That’s not the first time #2 closed his eyes and lowered his head as he went between someone’s legs.
Just a guess, it’s not a good thing for New York football if the Yankees equal the Giants and Jets combined in their respective point totals.
Looking forward to seeing you all tomorrow
Back from it. I cowered in the shoulder of my wife’s sweatshirt for two hours BUT I can say this: it’s got great sound.
Look tomorrow is a day of sorrow, remembrance, and a sober reminder that tragedy can strike in the most random and horrifying ways. I know someone who was personally affected by this whole thing, and can recall the confusion, the anger, and the unflinchingly visceral reactions those in the tri-state had. People filed lawsuits, some lost family never to be identified again because of this horrible event we are commemorating tomorrow:
Chris Berman calling a Monday Night Football game.
This is why we love you Buddy!
I mean, Buddy’s zingers made that turd of a Sunday nighter seemingly fly by. We STILL had fun. DO YOUR WORST GOODELL!!
So, we’re getting together and doing some more of this tomorrow night, right?
Later, Taters!
oh yeah, the 2 parts of the MNF marathon look decent on paper…and Berman-free!
IT’S A GREAT WIN FOR OUR FOOTBALL TEAM TO START THE SEASON AND IT’S A BLESSING TO BE OUT HERE, I’M JUST HAPPY ETC ETC
Something something RESILIENT. Tomorrow’s gonna suck, yeah? I should be better, but nah.
This was as painful as watching my Niece’s 4th grade Fiddler on the Roof play. Only unlike that event, I don’t get a handjob from the cute drama teacher after it’s over.
Or from Harvey Fierstein. I felt like I got Bar Mitzvah’d!
Good night, you sweet, sad bastards.
where’d ya get the “sweet” impression from? nighty night, happy 9/11 Eve!!
Do you celebrate by hanging two stockings from the fridge?
I should go do that now and see if the kids ask in the morning.
Just don’t leave cookies for Osama Claus.
Likewise, you capricious, buzzed wench.
G’night
Night dok
So I learned taco salad and brisket mac and cheese in consecutive things is not something Senor can do anymore. Apart from that setback, what’d I miss?
Tell me more about this brisket mac & cheese you speak of…
I don’t think he wants to photograph the toilet
It was mac and cheese with brisket and a little BBQ sauce on it. It wasn’t mindblowingly good but all right. But I can’t have two meals with less lean meats, because the taco beef was the 85% lean and the brisket is brisket, so I got the warm sweats and immediately ran to the bathroom. My friend was concerned about me because she hasn’t seen me in that kind of physical distress and she’s known me for 4 years and is one of my closest friends.
Pics or it didn’t happen
You had me at brisket mac and cheese.
It occurs to me that The Redacteds really do reflect Washington pretty well in that they are wealthy and gentrified, filled with useless assholes and run by dangerously incompetent narcissistic megalomaniac, spend inordinate amounts of money on autofellatio while the only functioning machinery exists solely to fuck over and intimidate ordinary people at every step. But the rubes somehow still seem in awe or even to respect some of it while in reality it only exists to make the rich richer while producing nothing of value to anyone.
I loved Washington when I went to school there. I still know people who live there. Yet they would have to pay me to ever go back because it was the most openly hostile, unwelcoming place I’ve ever been to in the two times I went back to that shit hole.
Close, but it doesn’t take 2 years to be approved to play on the team
with very little access by public transit, it may make getting out after the game a nightmare hellscape but at least the poors can’t get there!!!
Poors certainly aren’t welcome within the city, either.
well, Southeast ,, smh
I understand that is beginning to be gentrified as well.
that…shall be quite the process.
and hopefully everyone will have risen up in the streets and killed whitey before then, can’t possibly be that much longer FFS
I didn’t drink enough, I’m aware of NOT GOING TO TYPE IT win. Sad.
Alex Smith would masturbate to that game film.
I mean if checkdowns don’t make you climax, you’re just not a red-blooded man.
Fuck Collinsworth with a rusty grain auger.
Ben McAdoo’s toilet is called “The ‘Doo-doo” and is shaped like a high school sophomore’s mouth.
Jesus Christ
yeah, “shaped like”
He asked for the actress in the Bad Lieutenant traffic scene to be the mold for it
It’s okay, Dallas wins sometimes. I’ll red lipstick and soldier on. And may they fail in all the games from now to eternity. SHOVE THINGS IN UNPLEASANT ORFICES BECAUSE DALLAS!
Honestly, I’ve seen worst sexts.
From Zymm
And frankly I can work with this
Not the first time someone’s told me that
Cowboys Win
Elvis Grbac was Uncle Ed’s favorite QB. He never said why but he was really sad when Lisa Marie was with Michael Jackson.
It blows my mind that her daughter was the redhead in Fury Road and MJ’s daughter is like 19.
Y’know, I often wonder why women won’t sleep with me. Then one day I realized it’s because I’m a fat neckbeard that makes Youtube videos about how the wage gap is a myth and how women’s freedom is destroying western civilization.
I’m a femini-ass-t, in that I can namedrop Friedan and Steinem enough to get a pity handjob.
What’s the success rate?
70% to the dollar
/chugs entire Mt. Dew.
Sometimes Uncle Ed would get sad and say, “I miss Randall Cunningham” I’d ask why and he’d stare into the distance and say, “The mustache, Buddy. I had a spiritual experience watching MNF in ’88 and that’s all I will say.”
The Good Place is really good. BoJack Horseman is a series, but I’m almost done with the second episode after watching the first one again since trying when it was first released. I’m not necessarily sure I need to watch a series about depression. That would be like watching a series about someone being a fat fuck. I already know what that’s like.
Been told I should watch Bojack. But don’t Netflix anymore. Even before I cancelled wasn’t sure about the should
depends on how much one enjoys REALLY dark humour, and lives by the “lean INTO it” theory on depression.
I stream more movies and TV off random websites now than I watch either Netflix or Amazon.
I’m disappointed that all of these companies are developing their own streaming services because pretty soon there will be a threshold point where someone will suggest “Hey, what if we bundle some of these services together?” and end up just re-creating cable.
But ESPN will still die and the NFL will lose 90% of its revenue, so I’m okay with that.
nah, live sports will keep cable alive forever, and there will always be some (LIKE ME) who refuse to cut the cord completely.
But I appreciate the cord cutters putting on pressure, when I moved my cable bill got cut in like half, they were scared so shitless to lose me. And the customer service has improved dramatically.
I thought the NFL was cutting down on the Commercial, 1 play, commercial bullshit
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Oh, I’ll drink Crown Royal responsibly, cause I won’t drink that shit at all
#teambourbonwine
Uncle Ed used to say, “There’s only two things in life that scare me, Buddy: Death and Rick Mirer with a throbbing hard-on tripping on ecstasy.”
I laughed.
Are THE Giants taking timeouts to keep up appearances?