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The Gang Defecates on a Super Corpse

King Hippo

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As y’all may have heard…we had Lesser Footy WWIII this past week.  Of course, there are still fixtures this morning (Hammers/Chelski being the highlight, spotlighted at 12:30 on Big Boy NBC)…but there’s a turd in the punchbowl, over-powering the flavoUr.  DFO’s crack(head) team of Lesser enthusiasts tackle the big issues!

Hippo – So, um.  What’s up with the football culture/societal weirdness in Spain?  They seem to have the only fans who didn’t riot about the Super Proposal.  And you have this lunatic at Real who seems to be living in a “Full Trump” alternate reality.  And for some reason…Barca is hanging with him/their blood rivals?

Balls – La Liga already put out a statement saying Real and Barça would not be punished.  Big surprise there…
Hippo – What I am curious about – the early La Liga marker being a harbinger of what is to come, or an eventual outlier.  Like when the B1G swore off Fall JV NFL, without acting in unison with the other conferences.
Balls – I don’t think any of the leagues have the balls to do anything.  If I was UEFA, I’d be reinforcing my rules so that there would be no legal challenges to the things they threatened the clubs with.  My guess is that if they can do that,  they’ll be happy to leave the status quo.
(Hippo would like to disagree with Ballsy’s cynical take, but he’s almost surely RITE)
———————-
In other Lesser NEWZ, it looks like Bordeaux might be up against the froggy wall.  This, much like the EPL segment of treasoUnoUs Super-cunts, can be laid at the fault of Ugly Murrikan owdership.
Like George Carlin said – when those blue eyes come sailin’ out of the North, you better watch out.  ‘Cause we’re takin’ it, if we can’t take, we’ll burn it, if we can’t burn it, we’ll FUCK IT.
/I know, I know – porque no los tres?
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Viva La Tabula Raza

Relatively sports related, Redshirt’s city in the newz!!
https://www.rawstory.com/lebron-james-black-lives-matter/

1
TheRevanchist

Prolapse star

C291CE7A-BA48-4457-8D34-C6C33B0081B7.jpeg
1
scotchnaut

She’s going to make a shit ton of money, but at what cost?

1
scotchnaut

“America!” (Kids In The Hall version)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Izj2xo97D9k&ab_channel=FBIVideo1

1
BeefReeferLives

America
You’re so fine
You’re so fine you blow my mind
America
/Armpit fart

4
scotchnaut

-The American Exceptionalism Poetry Movement was ignored for more reasons than anyone could ever count-with good reason”

-Every English Professor Ever

0
Brick Meathook

A Canadian tells what he thinks of Americans. This record hit #4 on the Billboard charts:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lw2ysu1RWLA

0
scotchnaut

You were smart enough to not take a selfie when storming the Capital Building. I’ll give you that.

Last edited 4 years ago by scotchnaut
1
Gumbygirl

Canadians are lovely people, if you can find them

SignsGallery_2.jpg
Last edited 4 years ago by Gumbygirl
4
scotchnaut

Unlike Americans, we acknowledge multiple heritages. That might be confusing for the first-time border crosser.

1
Brick Meathook

What do you mean? We got white, black, hispanic, and other.

1
Brick Meathook

Also, that record seemed semi-parody even when it was released. It was very Canadian, and I have a Canadian passport so I know these things.

I posted it because posting America Fuck Yeah was too easy.

Last edited 4 years ago by Brick Meathook
1
Gumbygirl

I was talking about the confusing directions on the sign. Didn’t mean to make anyone mad!

1
yeah right

I don’t think it’s technically possible to make a Canadian mad.

We’re all good here then.

0
BeefReeferLives

I didn’t take it as “confusing directions”, so much as “hey, no matter which direction you go, there are Heritage Routes up here, eh”

“Well, thats Canada. [Pause] Yep good ol’ Canada. They don’t make generalizations about people because they are too busy playing hockey, or getting drunk, or putting maple syrup on their ham.”

Last edited 4 years ago by BeefReeferLives
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BC Dick

I love America and Americans. I’m very grateful to have been born in Canada and have such a neighbour, despite our minor disagreements.

Sure, it’s messy sometimes. The whole leader of the free world thing. But, by golly, who else would you rather have? China? Russia? Germany gave it a couple good stabs.

Keep being you, America. We need you. And 99% of every human since the beginning of time would be lucky to have the freedoms you protect.

Happy Fourth of July, everyone. May the ground be solid under your feet and the wind be always at your back.

4
yeah right

That’s a terrific sentiment. I have to remind myself sometimes that I have a very envious life compared to the rest of the planet. Today it’s 62 and sunny with a little breeze and I live on the water in LA. I can see the harbor from here and I have a job and a life that I love.

All that said I still feel that as a country we have to apologize for the previous 4 years and the herd of white nationalists that is entirely too large in number.

I am absolutely gobsmacked at our de-evoltion as a country. We’re actually worse than we were when I was a kid in the 60’s.

Thank YOU Canada for putting up with our idiocy. You’re lovely neighbors.

4
Brick Meathook

I think our home-grown Nazis are smaller in number than it appears, but they’re all loudmouths (or worse) that attract attention in proportions far in excess to their actual size.

2
BC Dick

Nothing to apologize for. Democracy will result in some bad leaders sometimes. Rarely, very bad leaders. But the strength is in the people being able to toss the bums out the next election. Not every leader will be the one you want but there’s always an end to it. That is no guarantee in any place. The strength of the USA maintains that freedom for most of the world. They pay in dollars and lives.

Perfect can’t be the enemy of good in the real world. That real world is far better for America being what it is. Don’t tread on me and glory to the free

2
scotchnaut

“The whole leader of the free world thing”. Things are a bit more complicated than that these days, Eisenhower.

2
Brick Meathook

Who else is?

0
scotchnaut

No one. There are only competing interests.

1
Brick Meathook

They must be crushed in the name of FREEDOM 

2
Brick Meathook

Vote which super-power you’d rather be dominated by:

A) Communist China

B) Putin’s Russia

C) The super-groovy U.S.ofA., the land of rock & roll and big tits; the home of Thomas Edison and the adopted home of Albert Einstein; the place where hamburgers sizzle on an open grill night and day; the country that owns the Moon and now owns Mars.

Please vote impartially

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

When you put it that way…

2
scotchnaut

Such a tired argument trope used here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJV_MOwas7s&ab_channel=Telegenics

0
Brick Meathook

I see your David Byrne and raise you Mojo Nixon:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UW6sTCDwOnM&t=130s

Last edited 4 years ago by Brick Meathook
0
ballsofsteelandfury

You had me at big tits.

1
BC Dick

You only own something when no one can or will take it away from you. I’m on that guy’s team.

0
BeefReeferLives

Yeah, that moniker always seemed kinda like the Cowboys deeming themselves “America’s Team”

1
BC Dick

It’s not really, I don’t think. There are a few major powers who can determine the general shape of things in the world now. The west led by the USA is not perfect but what alternative is better for you or you and others if you want to be sympathetic? There’s nothing wrong with preferring a different path but I would choose the power that is far more inclined to personal freedoms and democracy.

1
scotchnaut

Speaking of Booky-books, I think Tabula would like “A Shadow Intelligence” by Oliver Harris. I’m reading that and “The Man Who Loved Dogs” which is an amazing breakdown of the Soviet Revolution, Stalin, and his obsession with having Trotsky assassinated.

0
yeah right

Hey Scotchy, truly appreciate the recommendation for The Long Take. I’m a huge fan of Chandler, noir and LA history and it was right in my wheelhouse.

Hard finish, Jackson. Hard.

2
Horatio Cornblower

MORE MOOSE HORNETS!!!

2
King Hippo

Back and MOOSIER THAN EVAR!!

0
scotchnaut

Did someone say “MOOSIER THAN EVER”? Okay, I’ll try…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L8I_JfCeyZA&ab_channel=TurnerClassicMovies

3
Gumbygirl

I miss Moosemas!

3
Brick Meathook

Here’s a scene from the greatest sequel ever, SON OF KONG (1933), a quickie tongue in cheek follow-up to the original, made by all the same people.

This scene, where “Kiko” fights the cave bear, was based on professional wrestling moves:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCSweP45x2s

1
Gumbygirl

Bruin Sammartino vs Kiko Kowalski!

1
scotchnaut

Announcer With Tinnitus: “Iko? Oh Ma Gawd! THAT’S THE DIXIE CUPS MUSIC!!!”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OuC519ni1aE&ab_channel=TheDixieCups-Topic

Last edited 4 years ago by scotchnaut
1
Horatio Cornblower

So according to today’s New York Times, (oh, are you not a subscriber? pity) (I buy mine at the grocery store), Junventus, Real, and Barcelone are still technically in the Super League and “continue to strategize”, in a likely attempt to collect tens of millions of dollars in penalty fees from all the teams that backed out.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

There is a theory out there that that was the plan all along…

0
Horatio Cornblower

The only thing that would surprise me about that was that they could find 9 other clubs dumb enough to fall for it.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That would surprise you?

1
Horatio Cornblower

I mean, not in the NHL.

3
Beerguyrob

“The New York Islanders have entered the conversation…”

3
King Hippo

These twelve fuckstains can (and likely will) sue each other into oblivion, for the next 15-20 years. PASS TEH POPPED CORN

0
King Hippo

Instead of faking my way through el beisbol, or congtinuing the 2096-97 Pretend Pre-season…I have started Colson Whitehead’s The Underground Railroad. So much for my expired/expunged White Liberal Guilt.

1
Horatio Cornblower

Read ‘Killers of the Flower Moon’ if you really want to open that vein.

1
scotchnaut

I described that book to my son and I think that really cemented his teenage cynicism. He was quiet for quite some time and then said, “I don’t think I’m going to have kids. Why would you bring someone into this world?”

1
Horatio Cornblower

They’re making a movie out of it. I look forward to it, assuming I can convince myself that it’s fiction and not something that, you know, actually fucking happened within the last 100 years!!!!

1
King Hippo

I almost flipped my shit when I heard they were making a film of The Road (have still not seen, I get bad enough nightmares even if they did leave out “the baby part”)

0
Horatio Cornblower

Everyone should read ‘The Road’ once, and only once.

0
yeah right

I’ve said the same thing about Blood Meridian but changed my mind because most people probably should never read it.

Of course I fucking loved it.

1
yeah right

Read both and neither helped with the guilt. Underground Railroad is incredible too.

0
Warthog

His recent The Nickel Boys is the better book. Haunting.

2
King Hippo

I read that one first. Liked enough to buy a depressing 2nd tome.

1
yeah right

Yes to both.

0
scotchnaut

I’ll list some words describing The Super League proposal, you guess the ones that were used by British announcers-

“Shit show”, “disaster”, “tumult”, “laughable”, “egregious”, “disarray”, “fuck up”, “moronic”, “cock up”, “incomprehensible”, “a joke”, “ill-conceived” and “bananacakes”.

2
Horatio Cornblower

“disaster”, “tumult”, “laughable”, “egregious”, “disarray” “cock up”, “incomprehensible”, “ill-conceived”

2
scotchnaut

The Cowboys are taking Surtain for sure, right?

0
Horatio Cornblower

I have them taking the CB out of South Carolina, (Hardee? Maybe?), instead. He’s rated higher, even though he’s coming off “minor” “back” “surgery”, three terms that generally shouldn’t go with a high draft pick.

I’ll be doing the 2.0 version tomorrow, and I expect to make a lot of changes. This year’s draft is going to be bananacakes, especially compared to last year.

0
scotchnaut

I saw one mock where the Cowboys traded up to secure Kyle Pitts and for a second I thought, “That’s plausible, you can never completely rule out the Jerry Jones’ ‘Yee Haw, I’m Fucking Crazy!’” factor.

Last edited 4 years ago by scotchnaut
1
Horatio Cornblower

There’s so much trade talk right now. The draft is going to be fun, even if I only get the first two right. I haven’t seen much about the Cowboys moving up, but I have seen plenty of them moving down to grab a LB, allowing the P*ts or someone else to move up to grab any of the QBs that might start to fall.

1
scotchnaut

Seen that as well but that just doesn’t jibe well with Bill’s draft tendencies. (as I see it) He’s drafted just one in the 2nd (Jimmy G) and the rest would be considered ‘value’ picks. He’s not a ‘reacher’ as far as that position is concerned.

Last edited 4 years ago by scotchnaut
1
ballsofsteelandfury

“He’s not a ‘reacher’.”

I’d disagree with that.

– Brandi Love

1
Horatio Cornblower

I don’t think the Pats trade up either, (much more likely to do the opposite), but EEI will not shut the fuck up about it. 8 w Carolina, 10 w Dallas, etc, etc.

0
Gumbygirl

I was gonna go to the store and buy a Lindy’s or Athlon draft mag for Gumby, but your post will probably be more accurate. Certainly more fun!

1
scotchnaut

Oh crap! Does anyone remember Street and Smith?*

*I just googled them and it looks as though they’re still doing baseball. Back in the day they were an amazing resource for college basketball-loving me.

Last edited 4 years ago by scotchnaut
2
ballsofsteelandfury

That was a bullshit red card on West Ham.

3
Mr. Ayo

The color guy (Lee Dixon) was big mad. He ranted about it, and then didn’t talk for like 5 minutes.

Last edited 4 years ago by Mr. Ayo
2
Horatio Cornblower

He’s still furious.

3
King Hippo

No question. I’ve enjoyed the match commentators especially this weekend, their tongues loosened by the still simmering fury of this week.

Poor Davey Moyes – if he didn’t have shit luck, he’d ‘ave no luck at all.

3
scotchnaut

I’m aware of this because my parents watched it, okay?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-IIKE9p5SEw&ab_channel=OurNostalgicMemories

2
King Hippo

“Hee Haw” was the only thing my “nice grandpa” and “racist grandpa” agreed on. I swear to fuck, it was on 6-7 times every weekend, at least in the Asheville market.

2
King Hippo

aaaannnnnndddd time to pretend to care about el beisbol for 3.5 hrs or so. Or until I fall asleep.

0
King Hippo

aaaaaannnnnnddddd #BFIB weather delay THANKS OBAMA!!!!1111

1
King Hippo

Looks like Fronk’s Hammers may want to check down to battling Everton for 6th!

/noes Toffees will finish 8th, as is our natUre

0
TheRevanchist

Started watching Penny Dreadful last night. It’s interesting. It’s kind of all over the place with myths and legends, but the costumes and sets are very keen.

0
Horatio Cornblower

Also Eva Green gets naked in it.

1
litre_cola

I had a friend pass away yesterday. Far too uch Jamesons was consumed. I am a hurtin Albertan.

1
ArmedandHammered

Sorry to hear of your loss, loss of a friend is very painful as you chose them to be in your life, unlike your family.

0
yeah right

Be well and our full sympathy. Stick with the red wine and weed today.

1
scotchnaut

Sorry to hear that litre. Take care of yourself.

1
litre_cola

Thank you all. She was my old roommate and suffered mental health issues and took her own life.

2
King Hippo

Heavy shit, no doubt. Hang in there.

0
Gumbygirl

Hooboy. It’ll be 11 years on the 29th since my son did the same. This time of year is hard, every two weeks it’s something, the day he died, Mother’s Day, his birthday, Father’s Day. Ben would have turned 38 on May 22. It has gotten a little easier over the years, but those days hit like a fucking sledgehammer. You guys have no idea how much hanging here and participating in this nonsense helps, bless your rude little hearts!

5
scotchnaut

Aww crap. I can’t even begin to understand what you’ve been through. But you’re here and making jokes about ’70’s wrestlers-you’re a glorious, amazing, wonderful person and the sun shines through you every day. We’re blessed to have you here.

3
Gumbygirl

You guys are awesome. I’m lucky I stumbled in here.

1
TheRevanchist

My condolences do not help, but I am here to listen when you need.

4
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Sorry to hear that.

0
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

I saw that the playoff thing the super leagUe wanted was implemented anyway or was that a long time coming and just now news to me, the barely a footy follower

0
King Hippo

For the record, Hippo was 12 years old when Everton last did the double over Arsenal.

0
LemonJello

“Double Over Arse-anal” is, without a doubt, a Balls Search Term™

6
Dunstan

“12 years old” on the other hand, is more of a Jerry Sandusky thing

3
LemonJello

“Wanna double-date?”
-J. Epstein, burning in hell

1
King Hippo

GREAT, now that Requiem FOAR a Dream scene is in my head.

1
Dunstan

I’m just here for the Critic gif. Such a great show.

3
King Hippo

It really, really was.

2
Horatio Cornblower

https://comb.io/Amsov4

0
scotchnaut

Loved this episode by Perna.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPyPwsgkBr4&ab_channel=ThatsGoodSports

3
King Hippo

Verily, I did enjoy these musings. Huzzah!

0
BeefReeferLives

“extend plays all the way to the locker room toilet” Man that’s good… Thanks, Scotch…

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