Down the Lesser Stretch We Come (also Day Three NFL Draft Fun)

I have nothing to say about the horsey race, except that it amuses me greatly for its “spectacle” to take place on May Day.  Seize the means of production, Most Glorious Kenfucky Proletariat!

Shempions and NIT Shempions qualification are at the forefront of Premier League headlines, but not in the opening fixture of the day.  Your insmoniac action is “Crown Their Asses Already” City against “Just Happy to Still Be Here” Crystal Palace (7:30, NBCSN).  One assumes Pep’s men will have 90% of the ball, even if they play the walk-ons.

Part el dos is mostly safe mid-Table dwellers, but entertaining ones.  The mad men of Leeds take on the plucky Trashbirds at the AmEx (10:00, NBCSN).  Coming off their Roses Derby, I am expecting a bit of a letdown performance by the visitors.  Do not bet accordingly, Hippo is almost NEVAR right.

Spotlight Dance is beautiful, filled with Litre RAGE (12:30, NBC).  Chelski will feel all Bobby Big Bollocks after their brave performance mid-week in Madrid.  That’s always dangerous, especially against a cornered animal like Mighty Whitey.  It’s also hard to imagine the Trespassers falling out of the Top 4, so motivation could be an issue.  We shall see.

Speaking of Madrd, YES, the Real Cuntafces continue to lead their Quixotic quest to be crowned Bastard Men of the Galaxy.  Barca are still tagging along, with (im)moral support from the brass at Juve and Liverpool (surprise, surprise, Redshite hypocrisy).  As Karmic punishment (which made me laugh uproariously), Barca shat themselves AT HOME to Granada.  They had a game in hand, and a win would have put them ahead of Atleti for the title.  Eat shit, timid motherfuckers.

BALLS NOTE: To be fair (to be fair, to be fair), Real shat the bed last weekend with a tie to Betis at HOME and Atleti shat the bed with a loss to Athletic Bilbao. It seems no one wants the title. I’m actively rooting for Sevilla to take it. It might actually happen too! There are A LOT of games remaining between the contenders so if things go their way, Sevilla and Lopetegui could win the title.

Wouldn’t that be a great F U to Real? ☺️

FINALLY, we get to a European 6-pointer, with Beloved (and likely still Very Disappointing, it’s the hope that kills you) Everton hosting Noted Cunt Jack Grealish and Villa (3:00, Peacock).  Naturally, the best matchup is behind the paywall AND conflicts with the NFL Draft.  Deffo no smire at that.

See y’all in the comments.  And thank fuck for professional Donks WOO!!! management, not taking Mac Jones at #9.  Jesus, that would have done killed me ded.