We’re on the verge of the greatest international sports summer ever! We have:

• Copa América
• Euro 2020
• Concacaf Gold Cup
• Tokyo Olympic Games

And it all starts on June 11, 2021 with the European Soccer (Football) championships aka Euro 2020!

Yes, it is 2021 but they decided to keep the name, ok?

From now until the tourney starts, we’ll be giving you previews for every country in Euro 2020, DFO-style, of course. We will also provide previews of all the Copa América countries as the Copa América starts on June 13, 2021 right after Euro 2020 starts.

Euro 2020 will be broadcast in English on ESPN in the United States and on TSN in Canada. Univisión has the Spanish language rights in the US and TVA has the French language rights in Canada. Here is a handy calendar for you to use to schedule your vacation days:

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Today’s team is:

Czech Republic

Country Fun Facts

The Czech Republic is one of the youngest nations in the Euro as it was created on New Year’s Day 1993 when the former country of Czechoslovakia dissolved into the Czech Republic and Slovakia. I guess the “o” meant “and”?

In 2016, the Czech government officially approved the name of Czechia as the official short name for the country and I for one am happy about that because it’s much easier to type and say.

Czechia is split internally into 13 regions plus the capital of Prague. Each have their own governor and political assembly.

However, the real old-school divisions are from the days of Bohemia and Moravia, which were ancient states under the Holy Roman Empire. Eventually, the lands fell under the Hapsburgs until World War I when the first version of Czechoslovakia emerged.

World War 2 Electric Boogaloo came along and does the Sudetenland ring a bell? Anyhoo, after the war Czechoslovakia emerged again but as a communist state behind the Iron Curtain. It finally returned to a democracy in 1989 when a certain wall fell, a certain country ceased to exist, and all hell broke loose across Eastern European countries previously under the thumb of the former Soviet Union.

Beyond all the political stuff, however, there are two HUGE contributions from this country/area to the world: Beer and Porn Stars.

Beer has been brewed in the area of Czechia since 933. Pilsner Urquell, from the city of Plzeň, was the world’s first pale lager and was the originator of the Pilsner style of beers. The city of České Budějovice  is the home of Budweiser Budvar, the original Budweiser beer. Both of those cities have had breweries since the 13th century.

Czechia leads the world in people not declaring any religion or faith and the percentage of atheists is the third highest in the world. I don’t think it’s a coincidence, therefore, that the number and quality of Czech porn stars is astounding. There is no shame in sexual expression in Czechia, specially since the collapse of the Soviet Union. And we are all the beneficiaries.

Team Schedule

Czech Republic is in Group A with Scotland, England, and Croatia. Here is the Group Stage schedule, all times Pacific:

Monday, June 14, 2021 6 AM – Scotland v Czech Republic at Hampden Park – Glasgow

Friday, June 18, 2021 9 AM – Croatia v Czech Republic at Hampden Park – Glasgow

Tuesday, June 22, 2021 Noon – Czech Republic v England at Wembley Stadium

Team Preview / Top Players

For obvious reasons, my favourite player is David Zima.

However, he’s not likely to play much. The entire team seems to be going through a rebuilding after a period of relative success with such stars as Petr Čech, Tomáš Rosický , and Milan Baroš. Most of the national team players play in Czechia with a few playing in England and Germany.

They faced the English in the Qualifying Group and were able to beat them at home while losing 5-0 in England. Oh oh.

Best result when you Google Image Search “Hot [Country] girls”

Balls, Have you ever been to this country?

I have! I went there in 2014 when a group of us went to some World Cup games in Germany and we decided to make a proper European Vacation out of the deal and visit various European countries (England, France, Germany, Czechia, Italy, and Spain).

We flew from Stuttgart to Prague on a really cheap airline called Germanwings which I think is still in business even though one of their pilots committed suicide and killed a plane-full of passengers in the process. Luckily, that happened years after my flight.

I remember distinctly that Prague is one of the most beautiful cities I have ever been to. The architecture was a mix of ancient and semi-modern communist oppression but the buildings were painted in gorgeous pastel colours and the city felt alive.

The food was ridiculously good. The beer was delicious. The people were very friendly. All in all, it was an amazing experience. I would go back to Prague in a second and I would actually take some time to explore the rest of the country. From what I saw of the surrounding countryside, it is gorgeous.

Why you should root for this country

• You know who Vanessa Decker, Stacy Cruz, Lady Dee, Victoria Pure, and Little Caprice are.
• You like beer.
• You don’t believe in God.

Why you should NOT root for this country

• You are a Conservative Christian that supports dry counties.
• You only root for front-runners that can win tournaments.
• Slovakia took you to Disneyland on weekends while Czechia made you do your homework every night.

Pronóstico

Talk about a tough draw! The Czechs get the Scots in Glasgow and then the English in England! Oh, and the breather in between is Croatia, just the team that lost the World Cup Final in 2018 in Russia to France.

In other words, they’re fucked more than their world-famous porn stars.

I do think that they are a better side than Scotland and could/should get points there but the emotions will be high in Glasgow and fans will be allowed, so I don’t think the Scots will be easy beats. Their best case scenario is a win, a tie, and a loss. That should get them to the Knockout Round where they should face lesser opposition. They might make the Quarterfinals, but that’s about it.

Of course, the Scots could rise up, win the first game, and then the Czechs don’t even get out of the group. That’s equally likely.