Welcome to DRAFT TOWN SPONSORED BY OIKOS TRIPLE ZERO!!

As part of the Chicago draft, the NFL set up DRAFT TOWN SPONSORED BY OIKOS TRIPLE ZERO. It’s sort of like a county fair, but with less livestock, fewer carnies, only one ride, and more opportunities to buy NFL Merchendise. It also provides a venue for people who did not win tickets to the first round of the draft to watch TV while standing up outside in the cold and drinking $8 beer.

I visited DTSBOTZ on a lovely, gray Thursday afternoon. After going through the metal detectors, which I assume were in place to make it harder for Jets fans to commit Seppuku, I reveled in the anticipatory feeling that buzzed through the attendees.

The centerpiece of DTSBOTZ is Selection Square, a large stage by the Buckingham Fountain, where they put the TVs and hold the later rounds of the draft. When there is not actually drafting occuring, it’s basically just the Buckingham Fountain surrounded by temporary erections. The various sports networks had temporary studio setups around the edges of the square, which was almost as interesting as this guy’s Witten jersey.

For those who hadn’t absconded from work on the pretense of a “research meeting” there were a variety of things you could waste time standing in line for. The Lombardi Trophy was on display, and waiting in a long line would get you the opportunity to take a picture of it from slightly closer than the people who just stood by the edge of the platform and took pictures. There was an autograph tent next to the main NFL merch store, where you could pay money to observe the fine motor skills of an NFL athlete up close. Most interestingly, there was a Combine Zone, where you could attempt a 10 yard FG (This actually looked pretty damn fun, but I like kicking stuff), have your high jump measured (I don’t need fancy sticks to tell me I got no vert), and a chance to run the 40 while racing your friends and a large video projection of an NFL player (Spoiler, NFL players run faster than the general public). I was impressed that the turf at Grant Park appears to be nicer than the turf at Soldier Field.

Among the non-line-having attractions, they “recreated” an NFC and AFC locker room. I feel the authenticity left something to be desired.

They had one player from each team represented, and such NFL notables as Kirk Cousins were located front and center. Less prestigious, accomplished players were sort of shoved into the back corner, next to a big ol’ basket of footballs.

There was also a Ferris Wheel that didn’t seem to be running, and a Play 60 Zone, because the NFL is all about preventing childhood obesity in people who are’t going to grow up to be defensive linemen. Finally, there were many, many opportunities to take pictures with various things emblazoned with team logos, because really, that’s what going to a free PR event set up by a sports league is all about!