Author: Doktor Zymm

The Landover Snyder’s Team Preview 2018

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Alex Smith (QB), not to be confused with Alex Jones or any other leaders with tiny hands Adrian Peterson (RB), in a switch from the 'winning the offseason' days was signed at veteran's minimum WR Paul Richardson, DE/OLB Pernell McPhee, CB Orlando Scandrick (released) Drafted: NT Da'Ron Payne, RB Derrius

The Drunken Trade War Friday Open Thread

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This is Dok, filling in for the Friday Open Thread.  This has been an eventful week, US politics-wise, and while I was thinking of doing a piece about John Jay, early Chief Justice. I'm not gonna do that.  Instead, I'm going to repeat an unfounded rumor that the reason there's no

The Kansas City Chiefs : A Bye Week Tale

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So, first thing first, the quick stats. Going into the bye, the Chiefs were 6-3. This makes them the only team in the cheeto vomit division otherwise known as the AFC West to be over .500 and consequently the GLORIOUS DIVISION LEADER. They've played exactly half of their division games,

The 2017 Redacteds : We are Not Enthused

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It seems that "Kinda like last year, but slightly worse" is not an adequate team preview, even if I tack on "Third in the NFC East." Where is the overexuberant and unrealistic optimism of the typical Redacteds fan, you may ask?  And I would respond that third in the NFC East

2016 Washington Preview

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An office, deep in the semi-abandoned Walter Reed Annex National Park Seminary grounds....Doktor Zymm sits at a desk, Scot McCloughan enters Doktor Zymm : Guten Tag Scot!  You are here to see das Dummkopf, ja? Scot McCloughan : I figure I should at least check in with him, now that the season is almost here.

Better Know An Olympic Sport : Eventing

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Three Day Eventing is the most dangerous of the equestrian events, combining dressage, cross-country, and stadium jumping.  It is also what I competed in when I rode in high school, it's a pretty big thing in the MD equestrian community.  In fact, this is someone I rode with at my

Draft Town : Not Actually A Real Town

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Welcome to DRAFT TOWN SPONSORED BY OIKOS TRIPLE ZERO!! As part of the Chicago draft, the NFL set up DRAFT TOWN SPONSORED BY OIKOS TRIPLE ZERO. It's sort of like a county fair, but with less livestock, fewer carnies, only one ride, and more opportunities to buy NFL Merchendise. It also

Thunor’s Day Night Open Thread

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This is a water bear.  You are not nearly as awesome as a water bear.  Besides having the scientific name Tardigrade, which is way cooler than Homo Sapiens, these little microscopic cuties can survive being frozen.  Just this last week, some scientists revealed that they revived some water bears that

Drinkin’ classy on the cheap

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Much like the feel of fine velour on your thighs, we all crave the taste of fine champagne on our palettes, especially when we all have to buy new calendars.  However, that shit is expensive and really kinda pointless.  As you probably know, champagne is fizzy wine that comes from