*Forward only, at a preset rate
**Via her hands, usually
***When the water is contained in a glass
This is a water bear. You are not nearly as awesome as a water bear. Besides having the scientific name Tardigrade, which is way cooler than Homo Sapiens, these little microscopic cuties can survive being frozen. Just this last week, some scientists revealed that they revived some water bears that had been frozen for 30 years. Then, they laid eggs and hatched new uns. And they just take random ass DNA and use it and become better. When I grow up, I want to be a hardy micro-organism.
I got a free gift today from a wine company cause I bought lots of wine. Guess, what? It was wine! Also a fancy ass wine bottle opener set in a lovely box that matches my dining room furniture. O AN I FANCY.
You want watch sports? You want watch tennis, golf? Too bad, those are happening in Australia and Abu Dhabi respectively and are on at times of the AM which have passed. There is basketball of the college variety, Corn Fields @ Jersey Frat Boys, Hillbillys@Rednecks, and Chuck Berry’s Bastard Daughter@Horrible Chili are all on now. LeBron is doing a thing, which I hear is something some people care about. Then more college, more pro, all HOOPS. There are also nine pawned entry devices on. What, you’ve never heard a joke about HOCKED KEYS?
I’m gonna go watch the first season of Vikings on Amazon streaming. Then maybe I’ll go to a bar or something and yell at the Blackhawks on the teevee. If y’all care about stuff, you already know the time and station.
Cheers, and may you be as water bear like as possible.