Author: Horatio Cornblower

Monday Morning Mock Draft: This Is Sports Center

Horatio Cornblower -
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Guten Tag, drones. Most of us here, in fact likely all of us whose screen names don't rhyme with, uh, with, um, uh, 'Breadshirt,' yeah, that's it!  are old enough to remember when ESPN first came into public consciousness, largely through showing things like weird sports like rodeo, strong man competitions,

Monday Morning Mock Draft: Let’s Keep That Power On!

Horatio Cornblower -
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Guten Tag, drones. That title has nothing to do with this week's draft topic, it's just my plea to Eversource, our local utility company, as Winter Storm Hernando crashes into the part of the East Coast that matters, (everything north and east of Delaware, but nothing in Maine above, say, Portland),

Monday Morning Mock Draft: Let’s Make Some Calls!

Horatio Cornblower -
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Guten Tag, Drones. We're excited to bring you your regular off-season Monday time-waster, the mock draft, as Hippo curls back into a fetal position for the next few months. Unless the Cardinals are good this seaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Oh man, almost got that out, too. Anyway, I've already got a list of 24 topics, which gives

Monday Morning Mock Draft Rescue Post

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Guten Tag, drones, and welcome to the third season of Monday Morning Mock Drafts, courtesy of yours truly. At this point you're probably thinking things like, "What, the Super Duper Bowl hasn't even happened yet; shouldn't Hippo Thoughts be here?" and "Aw good Christ, not this shit again!" to which I

Monday Morning Mock Draft: Goodbye, Farewell, Amen.

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Guten Tag, drones. Although probably not this morning, at least here in what used to be the Democratic Republic of America, or maybe it was the United States?  I forget; for some reason I stopped following the news back in November. Anyhoo, this glorious Labor Day, (brought to you by Socialism!), is

More Things Should Be Removed This Easily: A 2025 Dallas Cowboys Preview

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I recently had a (very) minor surgical procedure to remove something called a pilar cyst.  They're benign but can get annoying, they run in my family, and I've had 2-3 removed.  In short, they don't mean anything and they've been with me a long time. The procedure to have these things

Monday Morning Mock Draft: Oh God, You’re Not Gonna Play That Again, Are You?

Horatio Cornblower -
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Guten Tag drones. Let's make this quick.  I've just come back from a weekend in Vermont, where I ate and drank a lot and did not sleep much.  I need to remedy the latter tonight, but I'll not doubt be stewing over that C+ Yahoo just gave me for my fantasy

Monday Morning Mock Draft: Nailed It! (Not Blair Walsh Edition.

Horatio Cornblower -
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Guten Tag drones. Once again I've left this to the last minute.  I thought I'd have Monday off, but then a deposition I thought would be canceled instead had the nerve to go forward and now I have to show up, just because I said I would. Speaking of things I said

Monday Morning Mock Draft: What The Hell Was That?

Horatio Cornblower -
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(I dunno what it means either; ask Don T.) /tips hat to Don T.  Viva la revolucion, and what not. Guten Tag, drones! As promised this week we are drafting movies that are terrible remakes of the books they were adapted from.  The rules are simply that it must be a movie, based

Monday Morning Mock Draft: The Line Approaches

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(featured image likely results in a Dallas punt) Or something like that.  Not exactly the profound effect I was going for as we enter the last month of the long national nightmare that is the off-season. Rest assured, however, that soon you'll be watching meaningless pre-season games, followed by meaningless in-season games