Author: Horatio Cornblower

Wednesday Morning What The F**k Just Happened?

Horatio Cornblower -
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Hey, who else is up and around after 4-5 hours of melatonin-induced sleep, interrupted by various household pets coming in demanding food and to be let out because they are oblivious to what happened last night. I'm typing this up Wednesday morning, (because no matter that we're on the verge of

Not Great Bob! The Dallas Cowboys At The Bye

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The Dallas Cowboys staggered into the bye at 3-3.  Their wins came against a physically bad and morally bankrupt Cleveland Browns, a just-plain bad New York Football Giants team, and somehow overcame Mike Tomlin's Voodoo to beat the Steelers of Pittsburgh.  The latter two wins were struggles. The losses came at

Monday Morning Mock Draft: Order Up!

Horatio Cornblower -
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I don't remember my maternal Grandmother ever cooking.  She must have, because she raised 5 kids and none of them starved before reaching adulthood.  Of course one of those kids was my aunt and godmother, (and it turns out the one who bought me that Leroy Jordan jersey and turned

Lather, Rinse, Repeat: Your 2024 Dallas Cowboys

Horatio Cornblower -
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Oh good, this shit again. When last seen, the Dallas Cowboys were coming off of a 12-5 record and first place finish in the NFC East, a conference powerful enough to include at least two professional teams.  The Cowboys parlayed that outstanding, and somewhat unexpected, regular season finish into, again, a

Monday Morning Mock Draft: Shut Up Already

Horatio Cornblower -
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Good morning drones.  As you read this I'm probably off on a week's vacation, heading north to Montreal, possibly Quebec, and definitely some breweries in Vermont on the way back. I still have to pack, I'm not sure where my passport is, and at some point I need to solidify what

Monday Morning Mock Drafts: Wait, Don’t Spoil It For Me!

Horatio Cornblower -
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Guten Tag, degenerates.  It's another Monday morning, which means another mock draft.  This week I was scrolling through some old drafts, waiting for inspiration to strike, and stumbled upon a comment from BFC in which he said he still hasn't seen Titanic and that would be a good topic for

Monday Morning Mock Draft: Don’t Get Board

Horatio Cornblower -
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Inspired by some controversy in last week's draft about movies based on disasters, this week we're going to be drafting board games.  The rules are, I hope, very simple:  if it's a game that involves a board, you can draft it.  If it's a game that does not involve a

Monday Morning Mock Draft: Jesus, What A Disaster

Horatio Cornblower -
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Good Monday morning, drones.  This weekend we had to go away for a funeral.  The funeral itself was fine, as were the after...parties(?), no, that can't be right, given the circumstances.  Let's go with "functions."  Those were all good.  Lots of chatter, good memories of the deceased, solid food and

Monday Morning Mock Draft: Boots (Literally) On The Ground Edition

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Greetings fellow denizens of the internet.  I am writing this from the glorious metropolis that is Millinocket, ME.  I'm sure it was something before the timber companies all bailed out, but now it's just a place to stay at a relatively cheap hotel before, and after, climbing Mt. Katahdin, Maine's

Monday Morning Mock Draft: Oh Brother Where Art Thou?

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I was trying to work on a different topic but it wasn't working to my exacting standards and seemed likely to age badly, so I had it step down from this week's topic nomination and reached into my 'Suggested Topics' file cabinet and pulled one from frequent contributor Rikki-Tikki-Deadly. This week

Monday Morning Mock Draft: What’s HE Doing Here?

Horatio Cornblower -
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Good Monday Morning folks.  As I write this on Sunday night I am exhausted, having spent most of the day outside either on a deck or in a lake. Oh, do you not have friends with a lake house to which you are invited when it is hot out? Pity. Anyway, like I

Monday Morning Mock Draft: Let’s Hit The Road

Horatio Cornblower -
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Ok, we won't go into 'Horatio climbs mountains' again, because frankly two mentions on consecutive days is probably one mention too much.  But I did in fact spend a lot of time outdoors today going uphill, (it's pretty funny seeing my Fitness Calculator just fucking spin at how many calories