Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 96)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - September 22, 2017September 21, 2017

The scene: The future! A time centuries from now, when mankind has survived countless wars, disasters and Zymm-related incidents to...well, maybe not thrive, exactly. I mean, it's more like mankind is still kicking around on a planet that's become pretty darn weird. Until recently Emperor Moose ruled with an iron

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 95)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - September 15, 2017September 15, 2017

The scene: The Secret Base on the Island of Doktor Zymm! Ballsofsteelandfury is walking down the hallway with Moosemas Gorilla, Jerry and BFC. BFC: We appreciate the tour! This place is yuuuge! Ballsofsteelandfury: No problem. I figured you guys should know your way around a bit. Jerry (walking toward a door): Hey,

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 93)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - September 1, 2017August 31, 2017

The scene: The secret base on the Island of Doktor Zymm! Specifically one of the hallways in said base, where Jerry and BFC are wandering around. Jerry: This place is yuuuge! This is bigger than that resort we stayed at in Veracruz. BFC: Uh...yeah. That was a prison, not a resort, remember? Jerry:

Hard Ride To Seattle

Beastmode Ate My Baby - August 31, 2017August 31, 2017

The scene: Century Link field, home of the Seattle Seahawks, in the not-too-distant future. Pirate Sloth is taking his seat, and Doktor Zymm sits down next to him. She is fiddling with one of her omnipresent gadgets. Pirate Sloth: Arr, what that be, Doktor? Doktor Zymm: It ist eine Portable Unit To

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 92)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - August 25, 2017August 24, 2017

The scene: Outer space, where a magical chariot is hurtling through the open void. And just calling it a chariot is an understatement. This thing is wicked cool, bro. It's a metallic red with golden trim and racing flames, with yuuuge gold rims that look like they came off of

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 91)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - August 18, 2017August 17, 2017

The scene: The Godverse, where deities both ancient and forgotten hang out. Currently there's a party in full swing at Bruce the Shark-Headed god's mansion. The ancients are digging the cool tunes (mostly Dick Dale and the Del-Tones, Booker T & the MG's and Santo & Johnny...Bruce has a great

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 90)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - August 11, 2017August 10, 2017

The scene: The future! In the middle of the massive desert known to future people as The Wasteland (because I just thought of it and it sounds cool, that's why) sits a massive structure lit by neon. It's... All sorts of mutants, freaks and geeks converge here to indulge in that

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 89)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - August 4, 2017August 3, 2017

Hey, guys! That's right, I'm back after a one-week break. Man, was I fried, lemme tell you... Hey, why are you guys looking at me like that? C'mon, it was one week. And I left you in the care of the Wee Baby Seamus, right? He promised to look after you

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 88)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - July 21, 2017July 21, 2017

The scene: The Godverse! Bruce the Shark-Headed God has kindly retrieved Man in Plaid #2's head from his swimming pool, and is currently drying him off. JJ Fozz is sitting by the pool, dangling his feet in the water and sipping from a frosty mug while Horatio Cornblower checks on

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 87)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - July 14, 2017July 12, 2017

The scene: The not-so-secret base on the Island of Doktor Zymm! Marc Trestmans Windowless Van's van is pulling up outside, with Ballsofsteelandfury behind the wheel. He gets out, followed by Covalent Blonde, Moosemas Gorilla and Marc, and they head for the door. Nearby, Vodkamanboris and Coquettish Blonde are hiding in the

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 86)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - July 7, 2017July 6, 2017

The scene: The Godverse. It is the dimension where ancient gods and elemental forces, from those revered in myth and song to the many forgotten by time and history, reside. Ancient deities like Og, prehistoric god of the cave, hangs out here. He owns a condo next to Pok, ancient

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 85)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - June 30, 2017June 29, 2017

The scene: The Pacific Ocean, where BFC and Jerry are clinging to a floating bale of weed and paddling towards a distant island. Jerry: I mean... You said you wanted to get some swimming in on this trip. BFC (glaring): Remember that time in Naples? Jerry: Yeah...? BFC: When you slept with that gymnast? Jerry: