It’s our second edition of CrimeBeat!, the Local Ace Award Winning series.

It’s been a relatively quiet week in terms of bad behavior by current NFL players, which is somewhat shocking given that St. Valentine’s Day is often a particularly troublesome night on the domestic front. Former NFL players are getting busted left, right and center, and woe betide you if you have any connection to the University of Tennessee, but the regular blotter is strangely quiet.

“Teflon” LeSean McCoy

CHARGE: Nothing yet, motherfuckers!

The Real Shiv Shady allegedly continues the proud Buffalo running back tradition of getting away with murder (or bodily harm), although he gets docked points for not involving an SUV in some way. OJ is unimpressed.

Also, I’m going to give myself a medium-intensity pat on the back for calling the reluctance of the Philly DA to charge Shady and Associates in connection with the Reverse Rodney King. Allegedly the DA “is hesitant to issue warrants because it has questions about the conduct of the officers that evening, including that the officers did not call 9-1-1 during the incident and whether they were drinking to excess.” I’m not sure what category this fits into: “Blame the Victim” or “Ignore Black on Black Violence”.

Listen, I come from a prosecutorial and law-enforcement family, and I prefer to withhold my outrage for the many, many clear-cut cases of social injustice instead of hunting for something to be pissed off about. I’m not saying that if these cops were white, the charges would have been filed so fast Al Davis would have drafted them in the first round.

Wait, no, that’s exactly what I’m saying. Nevahmind.

Either way, still Team Karlos heading into next season.

Greg Jennings

CHARGE: Vehicular Manslaughter (Bus, Streetcar, or Trolley)

Greg Jennings allegedly threw teammate and dude-upon-whom-he-depends-for-targets Ryan Tannehill under the Goddamned Bus on ESPN’s Morning Abortio..er, First Take.

“I guess what I’m saying is he’s far [from elite],” Jennings said. “I’m being honest. None of us know. … It’s like he’s been handcuffed. I’ve played with Brett [Favre], I’ve played with Aaron [Rodgers]. I’ve played with great quarterbacks. So you can sense, you can quickly tell if one has it or not.”

He tried to back off the Hawt Taek by saying the coaches have restricted him and therefore we “don’t really know” how far Tannehill is from being elite.

Jennings then proceeded to throw Tannehill under the bus following right behind the first one (the Number 17 City of Opa-locka), confirming that Tannehill got clowned by the practice squad, and suggesting that the coaches don’t trust Tannehill.

On an unrelated note, the “Under” on whether Jennings will match his 208-yard performance in 2015 just became Reverend Mayhem’s ROCK HARD LOCK OF THE SEASON.