Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 26)

The scene: The basement of the creepy house where the Angry Girl Scout dwells. JJ Fozz, Lord Revisile, Rikki-Tikki-Deadly and Ballsofsteelandfury are chained to the wall while the Angry Girl Scout busies herself by drawing a pentagram and a variety of arcane symbols on the floor. JJ Fozz: Look, kid... Angry

When DFO Met Peyton

The Maestro I’ll never forget the time I was walking home from school when I saw Peyton Manning. It was right around the time when he’d just been drafted by Indy. But curiously, the Peyton I saw that day was dressed all in black, with hooded robes over his head and

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 25)

The scene: The highway to Las Vegas. Doktor Zymm is driving and Moosemas Gorilla is taking up the backseat, Horatio on his shoulder. Otto's Brain is on the passenger side, strapped into a child's car seat. Otto's Brain: This is humiliating. Doktor Zymm: It ist zo you do not roll around

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 24)

The scene: The DFO clubhouse. Future Clone Debbie Harry holding the troll doll that used to be the present-day body of Moose, marches Doktor Zymm back out to the main room to find Low Commander of the Super Soldiers watching TV with the DFOers. Low Commander of the Super Soldiers:

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 23)

The scene: The DFO clubhouse, where Doktor Zymm is confronting Low Commander of the Super Soldiers about his mission from the future. Doktor Zymm: Zo, you have travelled back in time and you are looking for Mooze. Low Commander of the Super Soldiers: Well...yeah... He and the Empress had kind

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 22)

The scene: The In-N-Out convenience store near the DFO clubhouse. Horatio Cornblower is there, sitting on Moosemas Gorilla's shoulder as the ape stocks up on bananas. Horatio Cornblower: Okay, you have all the bananas. Can we get the beer now? Moosemas Gorilla: Ook! Ook-ook. Horatio Cornblower: Right! Can't forget

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 21)

The scene: The DFO clubhouse. It looks deserted, except for Darkest Timeline Zach Morris, still happily comatose and clad in a vintage John Travolta white disco suit, standing near the bar. Doktor Zymm (peaking out of her lab): Hello...? Vere ist everyone? Hmm... Doktor Zymm ducks back into her lab,

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 20)

The scene: Las Vegas! Covalent Blonde is out on the Strip with Redshirt, Yeah Right and Pirate Sloth. Covalent Blonde: OK, we have to find those guys. Redshirt, you and Pirate Sloth hit the casinos on the south side, and Yeah Right and I will head north. Pirate Sloth: Arr. Redshirt:

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 19)

The scene: The DFO clubhouse, where Yeah Right, Pirate Sloth and Redshirt are reclining on the couch watching pro wrestling. Yeah Right: So...I mean, there's no football on? Redshirt: Nope. Yeah Right: No high school games? Maybe a classic college replay? Redshirt: Nope. Pirate Sloth (reading the TV listings in the newspaper):

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 18)

The scene: The DFO clubhouse. Doktor Zymm has a panel in Moose's head open and is doing some rewiring while Old School Zero and Marc Trestmans Windowless Van watch TV with Moosemas Gorilla and Horatio Cornblower. Doktor Zymm: It vould be easier to do zis in my lab, you know. Future