Start Or Sit (On Your Face): The DFO Fantasy/Sex Mailbag

The Maestro - January 22, 2016January 22, 2016

As excited as I am for this weekend's games, no matter how you slice and dice it, there's going to be a nuclear-level amount of hot takes to be floating around the web come Monday morning. I can see them now already, and I'm dreading it: If the Panthers lose: "CAM

Start Or Sit (On Your Face): The DFO Fantasy/Sex Mailbag

The Maestro - January 15, 2016January 15, 2016

Man, the Steelers are so, so fucked. No Le'Veon Bell, THE BEN can't throw more than probably 10 yards, and now no Antonio Brown. Funny enough, all this destruction has come solely from Vontaze Burfict. I guess he's the new Bernard Pollard of the league. Admittedly, though, [puts on hazmat

Start Or Sit (On Your Face): The DFO Fantasy/Sex Mailbag

The Maestro - January 8, 2016January 8, 2016

With Fantasy Football now finished for the season (boooo), the Mailbag is now transitioning to that of a grab bag - your sex lives can still get plenty of attention, but anything goes for questions now! Sports! Violence! Inventions! Whatever ya got, it's all on the table here. So welcome back!

Start Or Sit (On Your Face): The DFO Fantasy/Sex Mailbag

The Maestro - December 11, 2015

I've felt out of the loop on most sports things this week. I dunno why. Apparently the Vikes-Cards game was good last night? Regardless, I've got the weekend to get myself turned around and sufficiently intoxicated on both sports and alcohol, so hope is not lost for me. Hopefully your fantasy

Start Or Sit (On Your Face): The DFO Fantasy/Sex Mailbag

The Maestro - December 4, 2015December 4, 2015

I missed the Lions-Packers game last night, and I'm damn sorry I did. Because holy shit, when I got home from hockey and looked at my phone, I laughed for ten minutes after watching the last play highlights. God damn, Detroit. When Cleveland fans make fun of you - and especially

Start Or Sit (On Your Face): The DFO Fantasy/Sex Mailbag

The Maestro - November 27, 2015

Mmmm. Tryptophan. A hell of a drug. Hope everybody enjoyed their Thanksgivings yesterday, and kept the hand-to-hand combat to a minimum between yesterday's family gatherings and today's moronic Black Friday deals! Anyways, enough shoehorning topical #content into the intro. We need to talk essentials here. My takeaways from yesterday's matchups: Chip

Start Or Sit (On Your Face): The DFO Fantasy/Sex Mailbag

The Maestro - November 20, 2015November 20, 2015

Because I'm sensible (and also busy on Thursday nights) I didn't watch the Jags-Titans game last night. But I did see some highlights this morning, and woof. Man, these Color Rush uniforms are just god-awful, and especially so for Jacksonville. Do you think it's some elaborate game that Nike's playing

Start Or Sit (On Your Face): The DFO Fantasy/Sex Mailbag

The Maestro - November 6, 2015November 6, 2015

Was last night the most watchable Bengals-Browns game in a long time? I don't actually know, as I didn't get a chance to watch - I was busy being a good son and picking up my parents from the airport after a three-week vacation to Australia. Regardless, was nice to

Start Or Sit (On Your Face): The DFO Fantasy/Sex Mailbag

The Maestro - October 30, 2015

Halloween! A time where we actively permit children to work towards developing juvenile diabetes and/or lifelong psychological trauma, while we get inappropriately drunk and develop some incredibly fucked-up fetishes from costumes that were never intended to be sexy, but still somehow are. Also, Satanists or something. I dunno. At any

Start Or Sit (On Your Face): The DFO Fantasy/Sex Mailbag

The Maestro - October 23, 2015October 23, 2015

I missed last night's abortion of a game between Seattle and San Fran, so I guess that makes me one of the lucky ones. Where I haven't been lucky, so far, is in my own personal fantasy success. I'm sitting mid-pack in two of my leagues at 3-3, contending with

Local Beat Reporter Bud Winston Shares His Secrets

NotKontent

Old School Zero - October 22, 2015October 22, 2015

Greetings, dear Winstonians! I trust you are enjoying this season of football to its utmost--biting your nails at the close finishes, cursing the ineptitude of your teams' coaches, and reveling in the glory that comes from a decisive win! Your dear old Bud has been following the ins and outs

Start Or Sit (On Your Face): The DFO Fantasy/Sex Mailbag

The Maestro - October 9, 2015October 9, 2015

So we kicked off Week 5 last night with a 40-year-old Matt Hasselbeck in pants-shitting agony, somehow getting enough energy to overcome a bacterial infection he'd been in the hospital for just two days earlier, throwing for 2 TDs and spearheading the Colts to beating the hapless Houston Texans. So