Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 30)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - May 13, 2016May 12, 2016

The scene: The In-N-Out convenience store near the DFO clubhouse. Ballsofsteelandfury is there with Low Commander of the Super Soldiers, who is now wearing a vest with a prospect patch over his silver jumpsuit. Ballsofsteelandfury is loading Low Commander of the Super Soldiers up with a massive amount of junk

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 29)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - May 6, 2016May 5, 2016

The scene: The DFO clubhouse, where there is a meeting of the membership under way. Darkest Timeline Zach Morris sits at the head of the table, with the others seated around the table. In attendance are WCS, Beerguyrob, Brocky, JJ Fozz, Ballsofsteelandfury, Rikki-Tikki-Deadly and Lord Revisisle. Attending via Skype

DFO Bible Stories: Creation

montythisseemsstrangetome - May 2, 2016May 1, 2016

1In the beginning, when God createth the universe, darkness doth engulfed the earth. 2And God sayeth "Let there be light" - and light appeared. 3God was pleased with what he saw. 4On the second day, God createth a dome to cover the earth. 5On the third day God createth the land and greenery

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 28.5)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - April 29, 2016April 29, 2016

The scene: Downtown, in a traffic jam. Brocky is sitting impatiently in his car, listening to the 2016 NFL Draft Day 2 pre-show. Brocky (honking his horn): Come on...come on... Radio Announcer: And we're only minutes away from the first pick of day 2! Brocky: Aw, man! I missed the big shindig

Hard Ride To Nowhere Draft Day Special

Beastmode Ate My Baby - April 28, 2016April 27, 2016

The scene: A used car lot in Key West, where Future Moose, Old School Zero and Marc Trestmans Windowless Van are perusing the inventory. OSZ: I dunno, guys...I'm not seeing anything really fuel-efficient here. Future Moose (checking out a 1977 Chevy van with a wizard painted on the side): This might

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 28)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - April 22, 2016April 21, 2016

The scene: The creepy basement where the Angry Girl Scout is holding Ballsofsteelandfury, Lord Revisisle, JJ Fozz and Rikki-Tikki-Deadly captive. She has just conjured a fearsome entity called Cookiethulhu, and it stands looming over her, wrapped in mystic smoke. JJ Fozz: Good...lord... Rikki-Tikki-Deadly (inhaling the smoke): He smells like...freshly-baked oatmeal cookies! Ballsofsteelandfury (also

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 27)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - April 15, 2016April 14, 2016

The scene: A two-lane highway in the desert. Doktor Zymm's car is pulled over to the side of the road in front of a police car. A big, granite-faced cop gets out of the police car and walks toward Doktor Zymm's car, getting out his ticket book. Cop: Do yew

Hard Ride To Nowhere Spring Break Special (Part 2)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - April 1, 2016April 1, 2016

The scene: Spring Break in Key West, Florida! Old School Zero and Future Moose are checking out their motel room when the door flies open, and a large furry man lathered in suntan lotion and wearing a bright blue Speedo enters. Wolfman Rob: Hey, you must be my roomies!

Hard Ride To Nowhere Spring Break Special (Part 1)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - March 25, 2016March 24, 2016

The scene: Key West, Florida. Guys in swimsuits and gals in bikinis line the streets while Future Moose and Old School Zero drive down the road in OSZ's Prius. Marc Trestmans Windowless Van is asleep in the back seat. Future Moose: See? What'd I tell you? Key West is the place to

Balls’ Bedtime Stories – Chapter 13

ballsofsteelandfury - March 22, 2016March 21, 2016

Chapter 12 Who was that gorgeous blonde Russian track girl? Who slipped that picture under the door? It seemed that Balls had friends but the picture did not have any of the tell-tale codes that M would have ordered to be included. Balls' mind was whirring with the possibilities. Balls had friends in

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 26)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - March 18, 2016March 17, 2016

The scene: The basement of the creepy house where the Angry Girl Scout dwells. JJ Fozz, Lord Revisile, Rikki-Tikki-Deadly and Ballsofsteelandfury are chained to the wall while the Angry Girl Scout busies herself by drawing a pentagram and a variety of arcane symbols on the floor. JJ Fozz: Look, kid... Angry

When DFO Met Peyton

DFOing Good

The Commentist Party - March 11, 2016March 12, 2016

The Maestro I’ll never forget the time I was walking home from school when I saw Peyton Manning. It was right around the time when he’d just been drafted by Indy. But curiously, the Peyton I saw that day was dressed all in black, with hooded robes over his head and