Bay Area Body Bags: 2024 San Francisco 49ers Bye Week (and Open Thread)

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - November 12, 2024November 12, 2024

AUTHORS NOTE: You may be wondering why I am writing the Niners Bye Week Update a week after their bye. The simple answer is that America had Kind of A Lot Going On Right Now last week, and the ups and downs of the Santa Clara Failsons just didn't register

A Very Denver Broncos Season Preview

Alex_Demote - September 5, 2024September 4, 2024

Broncos fans have left behind the "Let's Ride" motto in favor of "It's Bo Time," a slogan long employed by southern regional fried chicken powerhouse Bojangles. This definitively sideways trade is perfectly indicative of the overall sideways movement of both our roster construction and performance outlook this season. Maybe that's

Purdy Crazy Out There: 2024 San Francisco 49ers Season Preview (and Open Thread)

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - August 27, 2024August 27, 2024

2023 PREDICTION: None. Which is probably good since I would have fallen short of the 2023 REALITY: 12-5; lost the Super Bowl in a thrilling overtime display to Taylor Swift The 2023 season was about as good as it gets for the Niners, sans the ring. In games where they were trying,

The Party’s Over… For Now, At Least: Your 2024 New England Patriots Season Preview

The Maestro - August 22, 2024August 15, 2024

Last season was the nadir of the New England Patriots. It had to be. It MUST be. After utter disaster on the field and the departure of the greatest head coach in the history of football, it was clearly time for a complete and total rebuild of the entire organization.

THE END OF NOThING

Team Previews

DJ TAJ - August 21, 2024August 21, 2024

As I write this I'm looking up. Is this where it ends or is it about to begin? 14 years of melancholy and uninspired disenchantment ends right bloody now. SEEK THE WITCHES AS FORETOLD. Most of the teams in (looking right at you no quarterback Raiders) the N.F.L. are up there in the

Like Tears In Rain: 2024 Buffalo Bills Preview

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - August 19, 2024August 19, 2024

2023 PREDICTION: "12-5, tied for AFC East crown. As always, the injury factor will be dispositive, but we have reason for Hope." 2023 REALITY: 11-6, winning the AFC East, disposing of the Steelers and running face-first into the Taylor Swift Buzzsaw. It was a Tale of Two Seasons for the 2023 Bills,

The One-Eyed Man is King: 2024 Tampa Bay Buccaneers Season Preview (and Open Thread)

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - August 13, 2024August 13, 2024

2023 PREDICTION: 4-13 2023 REALITY: 9-8; not good, but good enough for the NFC South title The 2023 season was a good one for the Bucs, mediocre record in a trash division notwithstanding. They exceeded expectations. This was down to two (and only two) factors: Baker Mayfield emerged from his cocoon as

Your 2024 Cincinnati Bengals Preview: Raising the Bar on Mediocrity

Team Previews

Redshirt - August 13, 2024August 13, 2024

It's that time of the year again. Summer is in full spring. The stores are in Back-to-School Sale mode. Politicians suddenly give a flying fornication about the people they represent. But most importantly, its time for the DFO Team Previews. And like Freeform must give way to the 700 Club,

Meet The New Boss, Same As The Old Boss: 2024 Carolina Panthers Season Preview

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - August 12, 2024August 12, 2024

2023 PREDICTION: Bad (6-11) 2023 REALITY: Worse (2-15) Truly a testament to the power of the human will, these Panthers. "Parity" has been the battle cry of the league since the salary cap was introduced in 1994. "Offense Über Alles" has been the official NFL religion almost as long. And yet the Panthers

2024 Copa América: Uruguay, presented by Marcelo Bielsa

Don T - June 23, 2024June 23, 2024

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Before elaborating on Uruguay, let me address The Thing for single-issue Uruguay observers: Luis Suárez, 37, is in the squad. Uruguay won the first three recognized world championships of fútbol early last century, and later the 1950 Mundial in Brazil. Those championships represent the four stars atop Uruguay’s crest: The wheat, of

Elaborate Ways of Getting Kicked In The Dick – England at the 2024 Euros (A Tuesday Night Open Thread)

The Maestro - June 11, 2024June 11, 2024

I am ready to get hurt again. I mean it. There's nothing this team can do to me anymore to make me feel pain. I have seen absolutely everything go wrong for England's national football team in increasingly more aggravating, painful, and confounding ways over these last several decades. I have no

Vikings Team Preview: The Defense gets Addressed.

yeah right - September 5, 2023September 4, 2023

banner image via [intro Vikings team quarters] /Coach Kevin O'Connell addresses the entire team Coach O'Connell: "Holy geez guys! We're gonna have a super swell season this year!" Idiot QB: "Oh heck ya! It's gonna be super swell!" CO: "Oh heck ya. Super sweet!" IQB: "Super sweet!" CO: "Guys? I'm just gonna tell ya, I'm soo jazzed