Mia @ Jax: Oh, to be in Florida watching a football game. Eh, my couch is just as nice. Miami gutted out a win last week while the Jags QB Bortled his way to just over 50% passing, 2 intercepts and 5 sackeroos. Jax is worried about a man named Suh. As well they should-I’ve no doubt that he will tear the head off an opposing O-lineman, stuff it down his pants and say “get a load of THIS package” to the Jax cheerleaders, causing several of them to faint. It’s bound to happen.
Bal @ Oak: The Suggster is gone for the year. He’s off to winter in Paris I’m told. This game has ugly written all over it. Raven rook DE Davis graded out as the 2nd best pass rusher at his position last week. The only guy in front of him was Aniston-lover JJ Watt. Raiders are missing their starting safeties for this game. That doesn’t sound good. A film guy studied Cooper in his pro debut (5 grabs for 47) and says he mitted 5 of 6 catchable balls and was open on 67% of the routes he ran. Film guy says there’s only so much you can do with Carr as your QB.
Dal @ Phi: Dez is gone for 4 months so now it’s Cole Beasley’s Time To Shine! And he’s gonna shine like a crazy diamond up until the moment he’s concussed. The Cowboys have won their last three in Philly. Murray ran for 9 whole yards last week. If you take away the 2 TDs he scored that’s one hell of a lousy day. Byron Maxwell, DB for the Eagles gets to cover not Julio Jones (that was last week) and not Dez Bryant this week. He is listed as “hopeful” with a shattered ego for this game.
Weeden time!!!
I literally fell asleep on the couch watching the game. Sure, one could blame it on my body rejecting this morning’s attempt at exercise, but I think it’s the Ravens’ fault.
Bradford completed every pass on that drive. Well done.
Someone call the Governor, I think they need to send the national guard to Philly, cause that crowd is on the cusp of being a riotous mob.
Sophia Loren turned 81 today. Don’t know why I am sharing that, but Martin should probably do something.
As should congress
The best thing about watching Cowboys/Eagles, no matter which team it is that’s derping it up, it’s super enjoyable.
If the Romo injury is significant, and he’s out for weeks, the Washington R-words could actually win the NFC East. HAHAHAHAHA!
/Giants fan
// I laugh to keep from cutting myself
If this Eagles game continues, Philly will be burned to the ground before the Pope even gets to see it.
Holy shit, it actually got worse.
Smart play by the Eagles… getting the ball in Weeden’s hands is their best option of winning this one.
Ugh. We don’t even get a CBS game where I am.
Chip Kelly Goal-to-go Offense: throw until endzone INT
Fly like an Eagle.
In Bradford’s defense, Sean Lee WAS open…
The forecast is calling for batteries.
FLY EAGLES, FLY!
/Eagles fly into glass-covered skyscraper
LOLEAGLES
Thank you Sean Lee.
All the Jaguar drops.
Ooooh, that Ertz.
Chip Kelly’s career has entered the Spurrier stage.
Oh my dear jesus fuck. Kill me now.
Live shot of Dallas Locker Room:
http://media.giphy.com/media/3xz2Bvn61BAGoIEKdy/giphy.gif
It is fitting that “injure the Quarterback” is in the Eagles playbook.
I just imagine Bradford being hit here and bursting apart like a poorly-assembled mannequin.
That pass he just threw sort of resembled that if you squinted.
Ol’ Double J will be snortin’ cocaine for 2 tonight!
And to think I thought both of these teams were gonna be good this year. Maybe the Skins WON’T be last in the NFC East!
Are the Cards coming back?
shit, you could take it at 6-10 now!
Have the [*Redacted] s put up their 2015 champs banner yet?
NFC East Finalist?
Uh, does Weedon even know that Romo is hurt and he is needed? Or are the Cowboys going to snap the ball directly to the running back and use an extra blocker?
SINGLE-WING TIME
So, THIS GAME, plus Kiko Alonso is gone for the year. I’ll be on that bridge if anyone needs me.
Bridge and time? I think you and I are the only Iggle refugees. We wont be needed.
You can pick up Gratliff on the way.
NO DON’T DO IT…
/remembers that Sam Bradford is your QB.
eh, you’ve had a good run. We’ll miss you.
I hope they have a few of Peyton Manning’s spare parts available in the locker room.
Well, Crazy Horse did outlast Custer… for a minute or two….
Any other QB in the league is raping with play action fakes in this game.
JEEBUS HAS SPOKEN, JERRAL.
SIGN TEH TEBOW!!!!!!
(in J.R. voice)
“Well Bradford is in complete control of this Derpfest. I don’t see how…. Wait a minute? What that? Now wait just a damn minute! By God, King! That’s Brandon Weedon’s music!!!”
As promised, my piss smells like jet fuel. How the hell ya doin’ boys?
DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP
And it’s Racer 5 time.
An icy cold IPA straight out the ice chest.
Goddamn I’m having a good day.
Doppy Pantz: The Return.
Is Chip Kelly a genius yet?
The Cowboys need the wisdom of Gary Hogeboom now more than ever.
Weeden not even warming up…
They have to grab his walker out of the locker room first.
Odds Romo comes back before the end of the game? He returned after that back injury last year.
So Bradford outlasted Romo?
Hmm.
Holy FUCKBALLS Sam Bradford!
Crabdown?
Ominous smash cut to the ambulance
DOOPY PANTZ!
GLORRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEDOWN
Now for sale in the Dallas Pro Shop.
http://www.lookhuman.com/render/product/8750/8750106400070914/tr401atg-w232h232z1-57584-r-i-p-my-hopes-and-dreams.jpg
Maybe Jerry will donate his hips to Romo.
http://www.theunticket.com/fake-jerry-jones-hip-replacement-surgery/
they don’t lie ,, ppl forget that