Your Monday! Monday! Monday! Night Game Open Thread

Tonight is the 45th anniversary of the first ever Monday Nighter! We’re gonna be treated to so many wonderful memories-mamember the time that Cosell called Alvin Garrett “a little monkey” and then denied it? How about the time that the self-absorbed Joe Theismann decided that everyone should see his tibia? My best csb memory of MNF involved me and my fellow staff guys trying to close the dining room that I bar-tended early so that we could get over to a bar called Tramps (run by all my exes) and spend all of our combined tip money on pitchers of beer. (“Yes I realize it’s only 7:30 sir but we’re just about to close.”) I didn’t say this but one time I saw Dexter Manley trying to find his coke dealer at that same place. Remember that one year that he played for the Ottawa Rough Riders? Neither does he.

Jets @ Colts: So it comes down to this-Pagano’s thousand yard stare vs. whatever Bowles does that we should be making fun of. What do Tanzania and the Jets have in common? They’re both short of ivory. I had Ivory getting injured by wk. 4 but he up and done it after the first. Brown-noser! So now it’s Ridley or Powell, Powell or Ridley. So much to choose from! Moncrief gets not-Revis so he should do okay. Right? Right! Colts were ambushed by the Bills last week and the Jets lost to Cleveland. Hold up. They beat Cleveland? This is why we can’t have nice things. Play according to form, Jets team! One Jets blog I came across was yakking about Geno maybe coming back early from the punctured ear drum he suffered while listening to some chin music. Congrats Jets desperation, you have successfully disguised yourself as hope.

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ThePirateSloth

Fun game: If you’re watching the espn.go stream of MNF, when it goes to commercial break, try syncing up Michael McDonald’s “I Keep Forgettin” to the music ESPN plays instead of commercials.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Erik Walden dropping Fitzpatrick’s Checkdown perfectly sunmerizes this game.

MikeWallaceAndGromit

If the Jest win this, all 12 people remaining in my office survivor pool go out, and I think only 7 picked the Saints.

JustStopDude

Insurmountable lead right? 10-0…

http://i.imgur.com/l8cSq.gif

Chew, chew, chew

entropy

Yes, Chucky, it was a great job by the defense to have Futzmagic throw a full yard and a half behind his intended receiver. Brilliant fucking work.

Spur

Should have ran Spider 2Y Banana. Would have gotten that first down.

Doktor Zymm

At least Thursday is Giants/Skins. It won’t be good football, but there promises to be some entertaining derp.

King Hippo

Will you and scotchy get really super extra drunk and yell in the comments for the Good of the Party?

ThePirateSloth

This needs to happen

Make it so, Numbah One.

blaxabbath

Just got home from the gym. Did you guys know MNF isn’t on ABC anymore?

Sharkbait

Berman??

Sill Bimmons

yay boomers final drive woo

Sharkbait
Spur
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I swear Monday night games have the most commercials. Even last night they let the assholes talk instead of just going to commercials on reflex.

JustStopDude
Spur

So will the Colts be having open tryouts for defensive backs at this point? Fat Humps can cover in space.

MikeWallaceAndGromit

yo hump so fat he covers everything

Dick E. Phuck

Only a Harvard man would be smart enough to throw towards second string corner.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Can we stop turning coaches and players into shitty announcers? Please?

blaxabbath

Moar libtard comedians, amirite?!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I got told my last pic was either too fat or too skinny. You will get both. I apologize. I picked the fattest one off the skinny blog, sorry.

http://40.media.tumblr.com/SeWKb0qVZpcec6wsupndQ4fbo1_1280.jpg

ThePirateSloth

NO

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I think they were just joking, at least I’d hope so.

ThePirateSloth

SAY IT AIN’T SO VONTAE

King Hippo

Games like this make me curse not having ready access to really hard drugs.

Sill Bimmons

Stupider computer watch company challenges smarter computer watch company.

We all lose.

King Hippo

Who goddamned wears a watch anymore? Wasn;t that the point of the time being on every device all around us at all times?

Sill Bimmons

I wear a watch, but it’s a special watch my dad gave me when I finished grad school.

Stabby Pants

Am I watching a commercial about hay insurance? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON TONIGHT?!?

John Difool

Fitzmagic loves a no back offense…. it means he finally doesn’t have to be a bottom.

jjfozz

Everyone in this android wear commercial must die. die a thousand times.

Sill Bimmons

GWAN YOU LUMBERJACK

Spur
Doktor Zymm

Ryan Fitzpatrick attempts to use his education to solve the Travelling Salesman problem

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Alternate universe Colts cheerleader.

*Alternate universe could be in my head.

http://36.media.tumblr.com/c52b54cd8d5771f27ba2a8591577be32/tumblr_nt5qoxAEXA1s2i1z2o1_1280.jpg

entropy

“Jessica, we’re gonna need you to play a stripper.”

“OK, but no nudity, right? Because I won’t do nudity.”

“Jessi— fuck. She’s a STRIPPER!! Y’know what, fuck it, just get me Carla Gugino and everyone will forget your stupid no-nudity clause.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Carla is a much hotter WOMAN for my tastes. My alternate universe has Jessica nudity in it of course.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Also couldn’t find Carla with chaps like the Colts CLs sometimes wear; just fucking go with it.

Stabby Pants

That was one of those new screen passes, the one where no blockers go out.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

SportClips: We have everything except good barbers.

Sep

SportClips: Because SuperCuts is, like, for fucking pussies bruh

Spur

Evening Folks! What i miss?

Sill Bimmons

Nothing!

I wonder if Irsay is going to barge in on Woody Johnson and complain about Johnson & Johnson products as a cutting agent for his nose candy.

Stabby Pants

Are the refs being locked out again? Does this crew know that they are reffing a football game?

MikeWallaceAndGromit

This will be my first year really giving pumpkin ales a shot. This is…pretty good.
http://www.elysianbrewing.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Website_BeerHeader_NightOwl.png

Sill Bimmons

Number One on the list of things I don’t miss about drinking: fucking pumpkin beer.

Sep

ALL HAIL MCAFEE

JustStopDude

At this point…its the meth keeping me paying attention to this fucking game…

http://31.media.tumblr.com/209f67a8620aa9d585238a5cf9e687bf/tumblr_mtw7egA4Hj1qcvkpto5_250.gif

Sill Bimmons

THAT CAMERA TECHNOLOGY SHOULD BE EVERYWHERE GAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

Spur

Is pylon cam what they stuck in Erin Andrews hotel room?

Sep

Other Brandon Marshall is gonna be pissed at FitzMagic

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
ThePirateSloth

I was at my dive bar for the start of the game. There were 5 people inside with me. I was getting ready to leave a few plays before the Jets INT. I said to no one in particular (since we’re all watching that game) J-E-S-T JEST JEST JEST! to amuse myself and the general area.

2 guys, wearing red and blue colors with Oregon Duck hats, look at me and say “calm down buddy, the Jets are going to the Super Bowl, don’t be talking shit about the Jets”.

I had no words. Words failed me.

Stabby Pants

Thursday Night Football: Now on Monday Nights.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
JustStopDude

Too thick…needs more meth.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

And maybe a nipple.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

There is a nipple there, I zoomed in to check. I should probably take this down now that it is NSFW

entropy

Fitzmagic!

John Difool
Horatio Cornblower

That doesn’t seem like something a Harvard man should do.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Ryan Fitzpatrick and Bobby Jindal make me question the value of an Ivy League education.

blordinaryfagicmox

But George W Bush was didn’t?
/At least he was a better painter than that… other guy.

blordinaryfagicmox

Ahhhh fitz

nomonkeyfun

Fitz-ception!!!! With help from Vontaze!

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