Tonight is the 45th anniversary of the first ever Monday Nighter! We’re gonna be treated to so many wonderful memories-mamember the time that Cosell called Alvin Garrett “a little monkey” and then denied it? How about the time that the self-absorbed Joe Theismann decided that everyone should see his tibia? My best csb memory of MNF involved me and my fellow staff guys trying to close the dining room that I bar-tended early so that we could get over to a bar called Tramps (run by all my exes) and spend all of our combined tip money on pitchers of beer. (“Yes I realize it’s only 7:30 sir but we’re just about to close.”) I didn’t say this but one time I saw Dexter Manley trying to find his coke dealer at that same place. Remember that one year that he played for the Ottawa Rough Riders? Neither does he.
Jets @ Colts: So it comes down to this-Pagano’s thousand yard stare vs. whatever Bowles does that we should be making fun of. What do Tanzania and the Jets have in common? They’re both short of ivory. I had Ivory getting injured by wk. 4 but he up and done it after the first. Brown-noser! So now it’s Ridley or Powell, Powell or Ridley. So much to choose from! Moncrief gets not-Revis so he should do okay. Right? Right! Colts were ambushed by the Bills last week and the Jets lost to Cleveland. Hold up. They beat Cleveland? This is why we can’t have nice things. Play according to form, Jets team! One Jets blog I came across was yakking about Geno maybe coming back early from the punctured ear drum he suffered while listening to some chin music. Congrats Jets desperation, you have successfully disguised yourself as hope.
Clots’ Bataan Death March tonight.
NOBODY ESCAPES REVIS ISLAND (alive)
http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/hot-redheads-redheaded-54.jpg
Well hello there. You seem pleasant.
Is it me or is the NFL matchups just impossible to predict this season?
Want to achieve my dream of seeing an NFL season where every team finishes 8-8.
I needed an impossible 20 points from the Jets DEF to win a matchup this week. They’re at 18 right now.
Was it not just 2nd and 2 prior to the “fuck it HOLD EVERYBODY” play?
I don’t know anymore.
WatchESPN sucks balls when working properly, isn’t even working tonight. Just lost my other stream, I may be out. I will check MAYBE 4 of my other sites before I give up.
/ Yeah I want to stay for the end of this shitshow
I am back!
http://40.media.tumblr.com/47dfb8f365eeab56a699ff995f8387eb/tumblr_ntfev5UFLS1tb8godo1_500.jpg
Reminds me of my last girlfriend.
No head.
It’s a good thing colts have 4 feet because they’re running out of things to shoot themselves in.
Jesus Christ there were like 8 holds on one play….
Luck says Fuck you Pagano. I do it myself!
Whelp, the Jets have reached my predicted score for the tie breaker, but the Colts… well, lets say they need a few more.
Andrew Luck at -0.67 in insanity league.
http://38.media.tumblr.com/81df6000f53856aba63208cfa0f5987e/tumblr_nqxgqrALXR1rrmtkro1_500.gif
Insurmountable 10 point lead?
Flacco’s not here to erase it….
THIS COLTS SECONDARY I CALL THEM THE THEBAN LEGION BECAUSE THEY ARE TOTALLY DECIMATED
Door Flies Open: Come for the dick jokes, stay for the historical references and #themoreyouknow knowledge drops.
The more Jon Gruden quotes, the better I say!
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I have to say, it’s nice that one of my teams decided to show up early in the game. It’s not the one I was expecting. Or the one I’d prefer, for that matter.
As enjoyable as this is, at some point the Colts may want to cover Marshall. It just seems prudent.
I’ve changed my mind this pumpkin ale is horrible. I’ve been drinking it for an hour and it just won’t end.
Which one is it?
Elysian Night Owl, which is disappointing because I love Bifrost.
Yeah, that one’s just kind of okay for most of a pint. It can get a little much, though. I have a Dark O’ The Moon in the fridge, but I know I like that one.
Tonight was a Sierra Nevada Oktoberfest. S’ok.
When did Luck turn into Kirk Cousins?
My liver is thanking me profusely for not being a Jets or Colts fan this evening.
The line was Colts -8, I thought that they would cover, I am an idiot.
So now its “sucks with luck”?
DEAR KAHLESS WTF CLOTS
This kills me every time I see it.
In the Pantheon of rapey nightmare cartoon mascots, Grimace is so very underrated ,, ppl forget that.
Revis again
http://40.media.tumblr.com/80902f6bf905118ba83009ad94ced403/tumblr_nubwz5f4yN1rghb96o1_1280.jpg
HODORCEPTION?
http://i.imgur.com/kcQkqJ4.jpg
Luck Sucks.
HODORCEPTION: THE CURSE OF REVIS ISLAND
http://img.pandawhale.com/126920-Simpsons-stop-stop-hes-already-7Shi.jpeg
What the fuck is going on here?
Hahahahaha. This is fun.
REVIS WALKS
Got back home just in time for the HODORCEPTION! How the fuck you doin, boys?
Good, but I hoe the offense decides to do something here.
Did the teams switch uniforms before the game?
//just turned this game on
Andrew Luck
http://kaiju.wdfiles.com/local–files/wiki:rock-biter/rock_biter_1984_01.jpg
Some poor intern spent a month on that tedious fucking graphic.
There has never been a black guy named Conner.
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What could go wrong with a jet?
Apropos of nothing, suicide pools suck. Goddamn New Orleans.
JETS!
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Revis formed the foot, that explains why Rex liked him so much.
But only Harvard men are learned enough to know that when you are playing against “Corners 4, 5, and 6”, you go all Sex Cannon on them and throw it the fuck deep.
IS HARVARD ELITE?
It’s Superion!
Chuckhttp://forevertwentysomethings.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/Sad-Puppy-Face-Picture.jpg
Hey there fellers, how’s it going? I am enjoying this foot ball game! Things have been fortuitous thus far for my favorite team!
I didn’t know Butters was a Jets fan, but upon further reflection, this actually makes perfect sense.
Chucky’s is gonna be wired after this commercial break.
http://33.media.tumblr.com/1373a188cce375252fd7d6ee3542e61a/tumblr_mus6ml86DT1sj67gjo1_500.gif
AHHHHHHHHHHH TEEHHHH GOOOOOORRRREEE IT BUUUUURRRRNNNNSSSSSSSSSS
Tonights role of the New York Jets will be played by the Indianapolis Colts.
Aaaaand I’m off to play the Forza demo. See you in the morning, dickwads.
Move aside rookie. Let a veteran show you how to fumble.