Your Thursday Night Football Open Thread

[peeks out from under the covers] Has it started yet? No? Who said I was scared? I’m not scared. Maybe it’s YOU that’s scared. [sighs]

Wash @ NYG: The Giants should  be 2-0. Let’s get that out of the way right now. Howevah, The Catastrophic Meltdowns really like the vibe that this team is giving off. As far as Washington is concerned, if this Matt Jones kid is the real thing and Morris keeps going they’ve got a running game that may take them to the NFC East title. Not that that will be a great accomplishment this year. Ain’t sour grapes grand? Cousins’ play is up and down and he doesn’t have D-Jax but the Giants don’t have Rogers-Cromartie so that should be a wash. Beason is ready to give it a go tonight-maybe he’ll make it through the whole game. You just never know, maybe the Giants finally get their *Coughlin* shit *Coughlin* together. We could be looking at another snooze-fest but, “It’s Still Real To Me, Damnit!” What can I say, the scotch is poured. (into an Oktoberfest-sized stein)

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Senor Weaselo

Giant-esque delay of game penalty.

Dick E. Phuck

Like my grandfather, Cousins can’t stop shitting the bed.

nomonkeyfun

Your early NOPE

Sill Bimmons

Um…oops…

nomonkeyfun

I didn’t mean to post the photo. I really wish I had an edit button ight now.

DTZM, this was an accident. I meant to post a link to the picture.

I’m really sorry.

nomonkeyfun

Yes, oops. Sill that is totally what I wanted to say. It wasn’t intentional like some people posting tentacle porn.

As my apology, the first non- porno on screen orgasm, SFW
http://static.messynessychic.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/hedylamarorgasm.png

Old School Zero

I could go for an Underberg right now, but I’m clean out. WHERE MY DIGESTIF AT?

Moonbatting Average

This game sucks for some reason. I can’t put a finger on it.

Dunstan

Is that you, JPP?

Moonbatting Average

Thumbs-up!

Redshirt

You know. I’m starting to get the impression that Cousins isn’t a good quarterback.

JustStopDude

I CAN THIS GAME….um…something….shit…I’m not good at this….HEY JUST LIKE COUSINS!

IronAvenger6491

Jesus, stop throwing flags, i want this game to be over by one

MikeWallaceAndGromit

Flags for the Flag God!

Beerguyrob

I call him “Flagon”, and from His cup I drink.

IronAvenger6491

“Don’t take a sake!”

Oh don’t worry, they won’t.

*gets firstdown*

IronAvenger6491

Sack

MikeWallaceAndGromit

DraftDuel/FanKings is the reality TV of fantasy football. It’s never going to go away.

Recovery Whiskey

I might not take that bet

Moonbatting Average

Underrated car

Sill Bimmons

Most.

entropy

This is where I’m focusing now:

http://ntropy2012.tumblr.com/image/129821137305

because I can’t handle seeing any more goddamn yellow flags. This game, I call it The Black Hole because it is a giant disc of suck from which nothing, not even entertainment, can escape.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace
entropy

John Fucking Zoidberg!

nomonkeyfun

http://images.popmatters.com/blog_art/s/safeinhell1.jpg

For all of you Pre-Code fans.

Safe in Hell

Recovery Whiskey

Count the violations…

makeitsnowondem

Honestly blitzing Cousins is a pretty sound strategy, but not as sound as it would be if the Giants played coverage behind it.

Senor Weaselo

Amukamara’s out at the moment, but probable to return (sex with wife)

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Kirk Cousins is a black hole from which no form of entertainment can escape, not even schadenfreude.

Dunstan

Nah, schadenfreude is like Jell-O … there’s always room!

WCS

MOAR FRAGS

OsamaBenJarvus

Has there been one play without a flag tonight?

nomonkeyfun

Yes, the coin toss.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris
WCS

Jesus, Marie!

Doktor Zymm

I listened to the end of the third quarter on the radio during the drive home. It sounds like lebanese food instead of football was the right choice. Hummus > Cousins

WCS

You willingly expose yourself to Larry Michael? You deserve some sort of a medal.

Doktor Zymm

I’m pretty good at tuning out anything that isn’t play by play.

makeitsnowondem

At least he held onto his helmet.

JustStopDude

Seriously thought 20 was running on the sideline to take a shit during the game…

IronAvenger6491

You mean they don’t just go on the field? Because i’m pretty sure i saw the Giants do it two weeks in a row..

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

THIS GAME, I CALL IT INCEST, BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU START FUCKING COUSINS

JustStopDude

Fucking put in RGIII already. The game is over. Get some tape of RGIII for trade bait. Do fucking something.

Shit I hate the skins but this is just sad.

WCS

Black and white means it’s CLASSY!

Sill Bimmons
Recovery Whiskey

This might surprise some people, but Kirk Cousins is not very good

King Hippo

But COOCH, he’s SO WHITE!!!!

makeitsnowondem

Cousins looks like Bradley Cooper’s character from Limitless before he started being limitless.

entropy

Kirk Cousins is…. EXTREMELY LIMITED!!

Col. Duke LaCross

“Every quarterback has games like this.”

His just happen to always occur in nationally televised games against divisional opponents.

JustStopDude

I fucking detest people who fucking come to a social event and play om their phone nonstop. Thanks draftkings for another reason to hate you.

Recovery Whiskey

Posted from said event?

JustStopDude

Sorry…i flip the channel with my ass to a draft kings commercial and just thought they went to commercial break. It was not till Gilligan’s Island came on that I realized I flipped channels.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

http://i.imgur.com/3K7BuFC.jpg

You can have ONE, Eli!

nomonkeyfun

She is married to Mel Brooks.
I guess this offes hope hope to all of us commentists, at least if we are funny enough.
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-GD7iQYsjBgQ/UshQo6X6JYI/AAAAAAAAYkY/j_XPx8dY0ls/s1600/RobinsonBH.jpg

Recovery Whiskey

Max Brooks’ mom?

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Shiiiiiiit, I’m not even funny enough to beat Martin Lawrence, let alone Mel Motherfuckin Brooks.

IronAvenger6491

Goddamn, they really like to tack on the commercials for these Thursday games, huh?

Senor Weaselo

Yup.

comment image

Sill Bimmons

To me, this is art:

comment image

MikeWallaceAndGromit

Goodness gracious.

IronAvenger6491

I don’t care if she doesn’t have a soul, she can have mine…..and m’dick..

Dunstan

There’s Gregg Easterbrook, and I think …. yes, he may be… he is…. reaching for HIS NOTEBOOK!

WCS

GODFREY DANIEL!

Sill Bimmons

STREWTH

MikeWallaceAndGromit

Timely Duck Boat commercial!

Old School Zero

Oh shit, really?

MikeWallaceAndGromit

Was just talking about that American Express commercial that mentioned Duck Boats real quickly. “Hello,Duck Boat!”

Dunstan

I was so focused on how irritating I find that woman that I didn’t notice the duck boat part.

Recovery Whiskey

Didn’t run on Seattles feed for some reason.

King Hippo

ah man, that just makes me miss Car Boat!

OsamaBenJarvus

It took 3 quarters, but something entertaining happened.

http://media.giphy.com/media/RQBw6Ov4wQlgI/giphy.gif

WCS

Thanks, I never wanted to get an erection again, anyway.

King Hippo

Eh, what good were they doing me, escorts are really expensive anyway ,, ppl forget that.

IronAvenger6491

They need to have Beckham teach the other receivers how to catch.

Sill Bimmons
makeitsnowondem

Eli’s really earned his post-game snowcone.

Sill Bimmons

Archie, it thought it was going to be a Mott’s and then straight to bed!

Defensive Back Mike Wallace
King Hippo

truly insurmountable, amen, hallelujah

IronAvenger6491

Goddamn, do i love that boy……no homo

Senor Weaselo

Odell Beckham, Jr.. He catches the footballs.

WCS

Odell Beckham, Jr. = good at the footed ball sport

BrettFavresColonoscopy

And game

JustStopDude

I think the best possible ending to the game…

Eli pick six. Skins come back to tie it. Goes to overtime and the giants win the toss. Eli leads them down to inside the 10. A series of penalties and missteps lead to a long field goal. Kick off to the Skins. First play, Cousins gets hurt. RGIII comes and leads them to field goal range. Score tied again. No one scores again.

Redshirt

The [*Redacted] s would forfeit before they give RGIII the ball again.