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What’s on your mind? Me? Jackson Browne’s “Running On Empty” has been on my brain for the last two weeks. I sure as hell am not going to tell you that it’s the song of all songs-it’s just there. Every day. It is god damn relentless. If someone could distract me while I attempt to watch an entire Blue Jays game for the first time in 25 years, that would be great. Seriously, what are you up to?
Your Very First Monday Afternoon Open Thread
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So no one from the NFL is gonna mention this Guerero thing, huh?
Grey asked Tommy about it during his weekly appearance on the the radio version. Brady gave the same practiced answer.
Nobody cares, but the Baseball Bears beat the Baseball Hitlers!
HEY! At least we made the NL trains run on time!!
You’re thinking the Baseball Mussolinis (Giants)
The women in viagra commercials are always way too young.
Men whose wives still look like Viagra models don’t need boner pills.
I think it’s fantastic that this one got caught in the spam filter.
I think Vick the should just be made to wear a scarlet D on his jersey from now on to save Tirico some time.
I’d like to say I gave a shit about this game, butt…
http://33.media.tumblr.com/12fe106f567d54407620199c998d9075/tumblr_nrqqhpitOc1u0r8t2o1_400.gif
Man, if winning money is your best adrenaline rush ever just wait until you talk to a woman!
He’s the best player in the league, ain’t he?
You know, I’m starting to think this Le’Veon Bell guy might just have a future in this game…
Thank fuck my money league is full PPR. These Le’Veon 1 yard completions are goddamned awesome.
Do it for Lennay, Manti.
Do it for Lennay.
I don’t have a dog in this hunt, but I feel like if The Steelers doggedly stick to getting Bell and Brown the ball, they can win, Doggonit
We’ve replaced Vick with Alex Smith. Let’s see if anyone notices.
I’m guessing the dogs would.
My sleep deprived brain is sending me a message: Marmalard vs Ron Mexico featuring flag bukakke is not enough for me to stay awake. Night all.
Spurrier on a fire at the football dorm that destroyed 20 books: “But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn’t been colored yet.”
Vick is going to end up playing special teams later
I’m guessing PETA did the special teams coaching this week…
Can we just have special teams players shiv each other. We seem to be guaranteed a penalty every time, so why not go all out?
“And the Flag was thrown, to atone for the sins of the receiving team”
Holy FUCKBALLS Stiller ST
at least he got his money’s worth?
We all float down here, take two.
MARMAFLOAT!
FLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
Woo hoo! Cubs win! Suck it!
“I know why Peyton came back for his senior year. He wanted to be a three-time star of the Citrus Bowl.” – Steve Spurrier
Can’t spell “Citrus Bowl” without “UT!”
Shit. Cubs apparently want to make this dramatic.
They don’t get many opportunities to do that.
Don’t tease me. I haven’t watched a single pitch and only checked the score twice.
Are you avoiding spoilers Hippo?
Spurrier and Sarkisian are off to find John Galt together.
Is Spurrier Vladimir and Sarkisian Estragon?
It’s the worst buddy movie since ‘Tango & Cash’
YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH!!!!
Tango and Cash is a nation treasure!!!!
Walker, I’m sorry is the surname you were looking. You still have the board.
Gentlemen.
Yo.
Badger-wombat thingy.
Where?
Just finally watched the Utley slide, what a fucking cunt hair. I hope they put one right the fuck in his ear.
And this is why I want him to get permanently injured while doing something stupid, like getting choked while gassing up the wrong car as it drives away.
Anyone who hits a guy that hard and that illegally, and then walks away without even saying, “Bro, you okay?” is a flaming bag of boar shit
I’ve spent all weekend coming up with new and silly ways to end his career. Losing his hands in a weed whacker, getting crushed by a frozen bag of shit dropped from a plane, shot in both eyes by a paintball gun as he drives by a field, I could go on.
Dodgers benched him tonight. Because there’s no way the Mets weren’t going to target him at bat and on the basepaths. As they should.
He’s a bench player at this point anyway.
It takes a hell of alot to replace Rollins as my least favorite active ex Philly.
Pat Burrell, fuck him with a rusty steel dildo.
Shoot we won’t get spurrier’s second NFL go around
Field goal? What is this “field goal” you speak of?
A wildling from game of thrones plays for the Dodgers.
And Spurrier retires. Droppin’ like muthafuckin’ flies, yo.
A MADE FIELD GOAL WOO
Steve Spurrier is retiring? But who shall keep those fucking visors in line.
Apparently Alex S. Gonzalez is back at short for the Cubs.
I remember the first loaded box I saw, it was at the junior prom behind the gym
TEH BEN looks like he’s gonna be mid-2000’s John Goodman sized by 2022.
I don’t think any of need to hear what Rothlisberger would have done to a loaded box Gruden.
I thought we already had heard about it. Twice.
Did draftkings run out of money?
Well, this week, their payouts were all to FanDuel employees. They’ll be swapping back and forth all season.
Hey, does anybody know if there’s a way I could enjoy fantasy football without committing for the whole season?
No, because I have been living under a rock in a cave on Mars for the last ten years with my eyes shut and my fingers in my ears.
CAN’T UNRING THAT BELL WOO
“Watch me.” — Boss Todd
WHY is every play not to him?
/loses 5 yards
//guess that’s why
Now I’ve got that dumb ass White Stripes song in my head. Thanks.
Hee hee, SC just fired their drunky/pill popping coach. In honor, I am drinking over Vicuprofen.
You dingy broad!
http://www.nndb.com/people/144/000043015/vic-tayback-1-sized.jpg
PATRON SAINT OF COLUMBUS DAY!!
Is it still appropriate to tell one to kiss your grits?
You know, Mel was really being harassed all those years!
I’m pretty sure it was just sexual tension from Alice’s son Tommy. I mean, c’mon.
You couldn’t just come out and ask for a mother-son three way back in those days.
The black guy with the bat just hit the baseball far in middle field. 4-3 Mets. Still no fight.
As a Mets fan, I don’t want a fight. I want every single Met to remain available in case they make it through this series. If it looks like they’re going down in flames, fuck it. Drive nails through the bats and storm the Dodgers dugout.
Dodgers, come out and play.
If the Mets win a World Series, does Bobby Bonilla’s contract get a ring?
No but his agent does…so does Bernie Madoff.
I wonder when we’ll find out that Goodell was secretly installed by MLB to kill the NFL.
Someone Tweet this to Pete Carrol.
George Will: “It needed to be done.”
Pete Prisco: “More proof of the sissifaction of America!”
Peter King: [cums]
Simmons? Is that you? Fuck Brady. Always wanted to say that to you.
We got ourselves a barn burner in NY. 4-3 Mets 2nd inning. Two big errors it’s like I’m watching the NFL.
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