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What’s on your mind? Me? Jackson Browne’s “Running On Empty” has been on my brain for the last two weeks. I sure as hell am not going to tell you that it’s the song of all songs-it’s just there. Every day. It is god damn relentless. If someone could distract me while I attempt to watch an entire Blue Jays game for the first time in 25 years, that would be great. Seriously, what are you up to?
Your Very First Monday Afternoon Open Thread
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This game is ending 7-0 isn’t it?
Is that young Abe Vigoda refereeing this game?
Antonio Brown doing his best Devin Hester impersonation.
So many Laserfaces.
ALL TEH SPECIAL TEAMS DERP
I have a baseball question.
When I think about the Chase Utley slide, I can’t help thinking of Sean Connery’s send one of them to the morgue line.
Does this make me a bad person or a good fan?
It means that you would fit in well at my family’s dinner table. Revenge is the sweetest of all liquors.
Good to hear. Can I come for the 7 fishes?
My name ends with a vowel and I don’t mean Shapiro.
SHARKNADO ALERT
King Dunlap is out? He better watch out or Prince Amukamura is gonna take his roster spot.
I think he’s busy having sex.
Interior of Dan Snyder’s Happy Columbus Day greeting card
Rivers is going to throw 60 times tonight.
On the trading block if you can help me replace Jamaal Charles! Self help books a bonus.
Whats going on. Miss anything good?
Thanks for asking somebody!
Te’o just signed an endorsement with ghostmatch.com
DraftGhouls.com
Um…where are my fan duel commercials?!? I am starting to freak the fuck out!!!!
Prime rib fajitas does sound pretty good.
Oh hey, it’s Manti Te’o. I’d almost forgotten he existed.
Who gives a breast exam to T’eo’s girlfriend? Caspar the very friendly ghost?
Ramon Foster got blowed up on that play. He got blowed up real good.
Happy Columbus Day bitches, I had pasta, homemade gravy and meatballs and half a bottle of red wine.
I punched a Mexican…yeah I know it wasn’t an Indian but he was brown so that should still count right?
His ancestors probably punched some natives, so via the transitive property yes, that counts.
Uncle Sal nods knowingly, takes a sip of sambucca, and smiles
I’m in my kitchen looking for spices.
I’m having Stouffer’s French bread pizza.
It’s like we’re brothers!
We’re having spaghetti, cesar salad, garlic bread and a bottle or two of some Italian Chianti.
THESE CHARGERS I CALL THEM THE FIGHTIN’ DOG BREEDERS ‘CAUSE THEY ARE POUNDING VICK LIKE A BITCH IN A RAPE STAND!
The NFL: Only allowing their players to wear pink in October and only if they can profit from it. Such a classy league
Theyre not the only ones profiting, Susan Komen is a scam #truthChange #looseTruth
Note how she wouldn’t even say the NFL said “no” but rather “he wasn’t able to do that.”
No more wins until THE BEN comes back?
Its always important to place emphasis on how the fucking NFL refused to allow a player to wear even a little bit of pink to honor his mother surviving cancer and raise awareness outside of sanctioned NFL shilling time.
Can’t disrespect The Shield.
goodell still employed somehow
Why on earth would they get rid of him?
Everyone directs their hate towards him as oppose to the owners that actually run things.
DING! We have a winner!
Yes, let’s block and decoy with Le’Veon all goddamned night.
/stumbles in open door
Evening gents? Scotch? Is that you? I always pictured you as having much darker circles around your eyes.
Deangelo Williams staring in : Still in the league
Switching between MNF, Cubs, and masturbating is exhausting.
And messy
Welcome to the league, rook.
Apple Watch is the new Fetch.
Woooooo!
I thought Freddy Mercury was dead!
STOMP STOMP CLAP
/now with REAL enthusiasm!
– Ndamukong Suh’s urologist, attempting to explain his symptoms.
Jesus Christ what is going on in the Mets game?
Who has two thumbs and picked up Gates off waivers? THIS GUY
how shallow and/or stupid is thine league?
Pretty stupid, and I’m no exception
Also no dedicated TE slot, just flex
hell’s bells
HOW THE FUCK YOU DOIN’, BOYS??
Personally, I’m in a lot of pain. I forgot how much of a bitch road rash is. At least I’m justified in lying about on the couch right now.
By an interesting coincidence, Ron Mexico was just overheard complaining about bitches and rashes too.
Basketball td
Hey, did anybody else notice that Flacco has apparently gotten into the NFL security business?
Now I want a hoagie.
Damn it all to fuck, this is not the Le’Veon pace I need.
What a gritty first down
Holy shit Pittsburgh’s defense is terrible.
They should try running that bison blitz I heard about.
Yeah, the ol’ “black and blue” division is quite the misnomer this season. See also Balmer
This is fun.
Grit
Jesus Christ NBC…
new sitcom?
Thought we all were over guitar hero in 2008
I will never be over guitar hero.
Century of the punt
“I’ll say.”
?w=600
I could see going out to drink with Todd Haley and ending up stuck with a massive bar tab, a passed out hooker in my car, and a knife wound.
There’s no way he wouldn’t have also taken your car.
I’d check for a pulse on the hooker. I would doubt she would be simply passed out.
And so the Haleyfucking begins…
And Michael Vick takes the field!
If Vick punches river post game how can the NFL not put him in the hall of fame
That’s an immediate enshrinement, I believe.
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