What’s on your mind? Me? Jackson Browne’s “Running On Empty” has been on my brain for the last two weeks. I sure as hell am not going to tell you that it’s the song of all songs-it’s just there. Every day. It is god damn relentless. If someone could distract me while I attempt to watch an entire Blue Jays game for the first time in 25 years, that would be great. Seriously, what are you up to?
Well, at least this should be wrapping up soOH MY GOD THERE’S AN ENTIRE QUARTER LEFT
http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/2014-03/enhanced/webdr06/13/5/anigif_enhanced-28729-1394703725-1.gif
I just bought a pair of Wranglers this past weekend. I feel like an obscenely wealthy elite quarterback already!
What else did you get while you were in Wal Mart?
http://cdn0.sbnation.com/imported_assets/275507/joker-marmalard2.jpg
“I’M IN YOUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW!”
Fantastic. I didn’t need any sleep the rest of this week anyway.
Do you like fishsticks?
Not gay…not that there’s anything wrong with that.
No. But I don’t like fish tacos either. I will eat the hell out of any clam that presents itself to me.
http://i.imgur.com/TmUNf1O.jpg
Holy shit.
A highly paid athlete in baseball,
I’m fucking jealous
Don’t have to be fit to throw hard 15-20 times a night.
Doesn’t it have to run?
Nope. If it fucks up it comes out or gets pinch hit for.
If it succeeds, the game ends.
I knew I should have stayed on baseball.
“in”
Problem is, so is this fucking guy:
http://larrybrownsports.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/eli-manning-face.jpg
I hate NY lawyers. I hate everything NY except when they goatfuck the Pats.
I don’t much care for ny lawyers, either, but as a Jets fan, I do agree with your love of them goat fucking the Pats.
And the Giants when they give us Patsfreude
San Diego playing a song that promotes homosexual acts? That might distract the Steelers d enough for the Chargers to score.
These pretzels are making me thirsty.
http://i.imgur.com/Q76qv6M.gif
Yeah, they’ll do that.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=97rU8QuufaI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7KVbTcvjJg
Holy Shit. This guy is going to pitch. No wonder i have such a dislike for baseball
The amazing thing is that he’s standing still.
I think that’s my wife’s uncle. I never knew he played baseball
Shut your mouth fool.
Colon is a national treasure.
Watching him hit and pitch is like a games worth of fat guy touchdowns.
As an American League fan, Bartolo Colon is the sole reason why I like the different rule sets.
So much this.
Correction : OLD fat man touchdowns
THIS GUY DOES JOKER
So….Tirico and Gruden are getting hammered at the Joots in San Diego after this, right?
Jon Gruden And Mike Tirico sound like they’re going to bang after the game.
They don’t call it Gay Hooters for nothing
BIG PETER’S
These post-commercial bits are weird on mute.
They’re not much better with sound.
They’re not much better with the volume up either.
Heh. Great minds and all that.
2nd half of NY beisbol.
Woo-Hoooooooooo!!!!!
baseball?
theres the door,,,,
Donnie Baseball STILL can’t have nice things.
In the words of that great patriot Ronnie Woo-Woo:
“Cubs woo”
“Cubs woo”
“Cubs woo!”
Not that I have a point of reference but that must have been similar to child birth.
“Cubs woo!”
Steeler fans don’t travel well…they have just long ago fled that decrepit city.
Going through 2 full sets of tires on those shit roads.
Top 10 city in technology, medicine and banking. Reasonable housing prices. Ridiculously low crime rate. Home to two of the world’s finest universities.
Yeah, it’s a real shithole.
I’d rather die in this city the desert is reclaiming.
/fart
/shrug
/shart
Danny Woodhead just got juked out of his lunchpail.
http://www.mayanrocks.com/blog/philiprivers-worstdayever.gif
Chargers 60 didnt give a shit
http://i.imgur.com/7usyRpz.jpg
That’s a great movie. Eastwood, Savalas, Rickles. Good stuff.
Too bad about the minefield.
+1 Tiger tank
I’m the guy who has Kelly’s Heroes and Commando on his top 5 favorite movies of all time list.
Like any real American.
Shades of Dick Lebeau’s defense!
insurmountable lead
BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA I LOVE YOU MARMALARD
That’s the only way they were going to score.
Floatception!
Ballgame…
re: San Diego’s shitty turf
http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/10/1b/dd/101bdd1d432bcde0da19d67e25d439e3.jpg
Yes…yes it does:
http://40.media.tumblr.com/645c74c36de659f960ea121827fd4025/tumblr_npunjlSRLL1r98nzso1_500.jpg
I’d clean the sand off
She seems friendly
“Tell me about it.”
-William Kennedy Smith
There’s only one thing that’s dense here and it ain’t the frame.
NOW THAT WAS A FLOAT
SPASM-FLOAT
This game is the equivalent of having to go to your wife’s boss’s grand-kid’s birthday party at Chuck E Cheese’s on a Friday evening.
Sexy as fuck?
/turns on the game after having dinner.
Wow, I’ve missed nothing
CAN NOBODY FUCKING TACKLE ANYMORE
NOT IN ROGER GODELL’S NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE!
Steelers are going with last night’s Niners “just let the receivers run free” defense….
That’s a bold move Cotton; let’s see how it pays off.
I really, really want to see those two call a football game for Funny or Die or something.
Marmalard slowly getting sacked is beautiful
I missed the first half…actually, no I didn’t.
Did he really say nothing but net?
Vick should go back to dog killing. At least he was good at it.
10-3, Mets.
That’s right, the Mets have equaled the score of both teams “playing” MNF.
But the MNF teams are so impressive! Gruden keeps telling us so!
If you’re going to get caught holding it may as well be on 3rd and 12.
Fargo’s off to a weird start.
Christ, I will have so much in my DVR in the morning.
Fuck I forgot about that.
Thank god for On Demand.
HOT old man tip – the AMC/f/x shows tend to repeat in the middle of the night. Just record the 1 am showing, so you maintain the fast forward capability.
I may have to switch to the DVR soon.
I’m to drunk/pilled out to follow anything of any quality. This game is JUST MY SPEED
Tomorrow, I’m gonna go find that six foot oxy in the commercial for prescription exlax. That should make the week a fuck load more fun.
Holy shit that’s Ironhead’s kid? I did not know that.
Jesus, what are the odds of actually learning an interesting fact from Gruden and Tirico?
I think Rivers is now pregnant…serves him right!
THIS BUD’S FOR YOU WOO
STOP SAYING ANYONE ON THIS FUCKING FIELD IS IMPRESSIVE. the score is 7-3 and if anyone had any fucking competence on either side of the ball it would be a fucking blowout.
7-3, Mets.
Based-balls?
10-3
Dear god is it the weekend yet?
I have zero desire to go into work tomorrow.
Another appearance of our Savior. THE END IS YELLOW!
http://pcwallart.com/images/the-end-is-near-sign-wallpaper-1.jpg
Show up with an AK, they will send ya back home…
The Steelers are showing no confidence in Mike Vick throwing the football.
No shit.
I am also showing no confidence in the GOP Congress to produce progressive feminist legislation.
hoo boy
“The three and four yard runs he makes are so impressive.”
No, Jon, they’re not. They’re kinda pedestrian.
Happy Smallpox Day everyone!!
If the Indians wanted to keep their land so bad then why didn’t they develop better immune systems?
-Dan Snyder, probably
/finger guns, finger guns, suicide finger guns
HEY! I done that, like 8 times today.