The Hipp was kind enough to post a JV thread which alludes to the fact that, though we love/hate the NFL ball, we don’t wear sports blinders. On the ice the Sens are playing the Pens and of course the Dodgers are hosting the Mets (deciding amongst themselves who will eventually be decimated by those goddamn PED-using, bat-flipping bastards up in the Toronto). So sit back and relax and I’ll set up the Falcons/Saints for you.
Atl @ NO: Why is the spread only 3, 3.5? Them Vegas-ians know something, don’t they? Julio has hamstring and toe issues-receivers and hamstrings in the same sentence is never a good thing. Devonta is on an epic run [snorts] these last few weeks, piling up yards and TD’s as though they were canned goods in anticipation of a supposed Cubs WS win which would surely signal the end of life as we know it. At this point the Saints look like the teamification of Sunday morning on Bourbon Street. The D can’t do anything (blitz and hope for the best tonight?) and Drew can’t put up the points like he has in years past. I like Breezy-he got the short straw in San Diego and turned it into a fantastic career. Now however he’s stuck on the down-side with a team that doesn’t look like it will be competitive for 2-3 years. I read somewhere that 21% of their 145 mill. is tied up in paying players no longer on the club. That’ll slow up your rebuilding process. The good news is that Breezy can bathe in his solid gold bathtub, covered in $100 bills-that’ll take the edge off.
Freeman points for some, disappoint for others.
Huh.
Never count out Matty Spice, the most clutch of the Spice Girls
5 dollars a bag at a bodega
Ryan not happy. Hookers in NO scurry for cover.
Falcons have really looked like shit.
I think that look is accurate.
I’m starting to think Browner was never a good corner.
Fozz,
When the wife gets back and asks what you did, you can proudly load up DFO; then pack a bag and move into a sad 2 bedroom garden apartment.
Yo, you can’t even complete a pass Breaux
Is there anything more frustrating to see than a free play on offensive…and the QB does a checkdown…
Alex Smith approves.
Incompetent refereeing? That’s unpossible.
I’d like to see the officiating crews be half union and half scabs. They’ll still be inept, but we can take sides over who is responsible for everything being fucked up all the time.
Like Congress.
BLEERGH IS DISPLEASED
If the Patriots or Packers had Atlanta’s schedule, they’d somehow each go 25-0 in the regular season. Yet the Falcons are gonna lose to the sad-sack Saints in week 6. Can we relegate the NFC South?
Like let them secede? The idea has merit.
Like MAKE them secede
Is the draft king narrator Ed Norton? Am I high?
“Hey, Ralphie Boy!”
It is and you are
Did he curbstomp a black guy?
NOLA related. Recently I got a job offer about 30 minutes away in Mississippi. Did the phone interview and everything. So they want an in person interview.
They expected me to drive 13 hours one way for an interview on my own dime, get my own hotel, and then drive back. So basically I would have to take 3 days of vacation, do a shit ton of driving, because they were too cheap to payout a flight and a hotel for me.
Needless to say, I doubt our salary discussions were going to go anywhere.
Southerners are incompetent at business? No fucking way.
This is the Obama recovery.
*Posted from my Chrome Browser. Chrome: It’s how ugly cars become cool*
Thor throws 100mph.
/drink
Jameis Ryan
Halo Master Chief spotted in the crowd
“Oh, so you think you my master now?”
Go to NOLA and get mass-produced beignets!
Seriously. You can basically get any regional backed good anywhere in the nation. It’s not like you need locally sourced ingredients. Fucking flour and sugar. Pretty sure I can get fine beignets at a place in Mesa.
Alright…homeowners please answer me this because it has always confused me.
Why the fuck do people bother with bagging up leaves? I get cleaning the gutters. I do that for my folks all the time. I get doing landscaping. I get why you want to bag your grass if you take a long ass time in between mowing your lawn.
But for the fucking life of me, I don’t get why people bother with fucking raking and bagging leaves. (I am asking this because of that stupid Lowes commercial). Its not like your grass is going to die from leaves.
That black dude is actually just blowing them into the street.
Where else to you put them then? I’m thinking of getting a cheapo harbor freight chipper this fall for my leaves.
I would just mow them into little bits to fertilize the grass. But once I mowed the last time for the summer, I figured fuck it.
“BECAUSE IT KILLS THE GRASS AND I DIDN’T WORK MY WAY UP FROM A TENEMENT IN LITTLE ITALY TO THIS HOUSE IN THE BURBS TO HEAR MY SON BITCH ABOUT RAKING LEAVES! SO RAKE THEM UP, YOU SPOILED FUCKER!”
Explanation given to me by my dad. About 1,276 times.
If you leave the leaves, (huh, didn’t even mean to do that, yet here we are), they will kill your lawn. If you leave anything over grass so that it can’t get sun it will kill the grass. Most towns require you to bag your leaves for town pick-up.
THANKS OBAMA! FEMA CAMPS AND HOMEOWNERS ASSOCIATIONS ARE THE SAME THING!!!!
Not true.
FEMA’s death camps end your life mercifully. HOAs are worse than Nazis.
Because lawyers are motherfuckers, and none more than those that enforce chickenshit zoning laws and HOA mandates.
I don’t. Fucking leave mine where they fall. Fuck if I care.
I’m actually going to bag ours so I can save them for browns in my compost next spring.
Yes, I’m going to save waste to add to waste to make dirt. I am basically the hipsters’ dracula.
*Posted from my Chrome Browser. Chrome: People in this coffee shop would be disgusted to see I’m using this browser*
Real answer: Because if I’m paying the gardener, he better do something for that money.
Other than fuck my wife!
The meteor game.
Fuck UCLA and Stanford
As long as it also includes Rick Neuheisel.
Or call Bane.
Nah. I want an EXPLOSION, not a pussy implosion.
Implosions are for NFL losers.
Also, that was a Tim Tebow pass.
*Posted from my Chrome Browser. Chrome: Wins as much as Tim Tebow*
I do like your Chrome dynamic sig.
“Pick up Snead,” he said to himself, “he’s sure to get a lot of targets.”
Just swore at myself for the same thing. Burned a high waiver position.
“Bench Brees,” he said to himself, “Kaep is going to have a way better outing this week.”
YOU ….
You DEFINITELY have to lay off the weed.
Confirmed.
Gotta lay off the weed bro
Is this where we’re meeting? Hippo?
SIGH. Yes.
So NO didn’t kick the FG. Got an encroachment and moved like 2 ft closer to end zone. Then the announcers are saying they should NOW kick it?
They’ve been proving themselves to be the dumbest idiots in football all night tonight.
Oh! Is this the Jim and Phil team?!
I don’t really pay attention because we always seem to get Saragusa and some other bums on Sundays (B Crew). Then the psychopaths who work for SNF.
……did Nantz really just use the term “outyardaging”?
One of us must be drunk, and for once I know it isn’t me…..
If you had to work with Pheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel twice a week, you’d be drunk on TV too.
True dat.
Does Simms think this is the 4th quarter?
HERPADERPA
This has been a remarkably flag-free game… THE FLAG GOD DEMANDS A SACRIFICE!
Ask and ye shall receive.
HAIL BLEERGH
HAIL BLEERGH!
No fantasy points unless you are a shit TE that nobody would ever dream of starting.
Had to send flowers to a customer at work’s funeral today. I had to type up the little message and just stole some generic “our thoughts are with the family” thing. Felt weird to sign it, “The Staff of COMPANY X”.
*Posted from my Chrome Browser. Chrome: It’s showing more life than the Dolphins*
Nobody wants a condolence card from a fucking company unless the deceased OWNED the company.
Wolfman seems to to have coaxed a performance out of his D, Did he invite them in the van?
Did he threaten to put them in the back of the van?
Yes to both.
The opposite. “You fuckers don’t start playing some fucking defense, no more van time for you!”
I hear there are candies, puppies and submarine sandwiches.
YOU MEAN WE GOTTA START PAYING FOR HOOKERS!!?!?!?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
That VIP suite Odam was staying in wasn’t much of a step up from a van.
/A lone wolf cries in the distance
Clap for the Wolfman!
Because he has it. The clap.
OWOOOOOOOOOOOOOO*
(*Translation: IT BUUUUUUUURNS)
So how long before we have a Wolf of Wall St./Social Network type movie about DraftKings and Fanduel? I say 3 years. Right after the next 3 Steve Jobs movies.
Whoops, reply fail.
It was pretty funny. Nice schtick to have.
I’m not saying Tomsula is a good coach, but how could he possibly succeed walking into that bare cupboard that is stocked with just an old box of arm & hammer and some tires (which are on fire).
yeah, but what browser does he use? Netscape?
Whenever I start to feel bad about the Saints I reread some stuff about Tom Benson and then I figure “fuck that team right in the earhole”, and I feel OK about myself, because I know Breesus understands.
Those C-words bountygated Kurt Warner in the Wild Card game. Last game he ever played. Since they won the SB, all that BS got downplayed as part of their “tough/winning culture” (while the NFL threw the book at the team).
Lucky Beard
http://41.media.tumblr.com/21ad24d334e5f6346dc0660f34c70d56/tumblr_nt22e0U3401uq3x5lo1_1280.jpg
Man would I give that girl a reason to laugh at me.
Just photoshop Josh Sitton’s face on this and it’ll be A.A. Rod’s ultimate fantasy.
The FanDuel spokesman looks like a guy who doesn’t clearly understand the word “consent”.
Don’t need to when BOTH your parents are attorney!
*Posted from my Chrome Browser. Chrome: Less Rapey than Fratboys*
“Whatevs bro, just make with the mac ‘n cheese.”
There’s a cocksucker in Bel-Air who uses three swimming pools worth of water per day, but will not even be remotely the biggest asshole in L.A. if an NFL team moves here.
The news just showed me mudslides out there. Talk about wasting water!
*Posted from my Chrome Browser. Chrome: It doesn’t use water*
When will the NFL require all playing surfaces be like Scotts Brand Premium Grass, forcing all domed stadium cities to kick in another $300,000,000 to upgrade their facility to meet gameday specs?
Dont forget about the 100000000 concession upgrades, just cuz.
You left off a 0.
Even more reason to build a stadium in Los Angeles.
Free time when the S/O is away is fantastic. Just had a Steak dinner, redwine, smoked a joint, ate doritos, ate 3 chocolate croissants, just opened another bottle.
Plus this is a mildly entertaining derpfest.
*sponsored by the not gambling FanDraftDuelKings
You smoked an entire joint? I’m impressed.
Just took up weed like 6 months ago. Addicted.
*Posted from my Chrome Browser. Chrome: It’s sponsored by AT&T somehow*
Mine is also out of town. Playing Forza 6 like a madman while I can
Mine’s in the other room. I’m still drinking, eating, watching sports and making dick-jokes.
I married well.
You , are a smart individual.
Just thinking, the only time a dude wants to hear, “He has a quick release” is when he’s playing QB.
Other wise, it sounds like someone’s talking to an ex girlfriend.
Wildcat ……….
TD
http://gravelbucket.tumblr.com/post/131244470037/gwyneth-paltrow
Are we sure that’s Daniel Murphy and not Dale Murphy?
Dodgers should be up 3 but down 1. Makin a brutha want to watch football.
Staging Bills-Jaguars in London shortly after we may or may not have committed a war crime in bombing a hospital is not the best foreign policy. Pretty sure Blake Bortles is going to get arrested by the Hague.
Blake Bortles bombs buildings?
but didn’t we already tweet out a sad face emoji?
Bortles is a pretty good scapegoat, since they’ll have to assume the bomb just missed.
I don’t see the downside.
Baseball Jets take the lead over the Baseball Rams-Raiders-Chargers
Did the Seinfeld cum in his pants?
If not, Jon Stewart did
/Sheepishly raises hairy palm.
Why in fuck are we inundated with movies about Steve Jobs?
An inventor/CEO who was a raging, unbearable asshole? Wow! Never heard of that before.
To steal a joke I saw elsewhere, because if they release a new one every two years the Apple-polishers will flock to it in droves.
Beat me to it
You think this is bad? Wait til we get all the Belichick biopics once he dies.
Fuck – and we’ll all go watch the origin films because we want to know where he came from. And then they’ll expose us to Jar Jar Binks.
THERE WILL NEVAH BE AHH BETTAH ONE THAHN HIM! NO ONE DENIES THIS!
Yeah, but think about the MILF-aliciousness in those movies.
Maybe we’ll get Alison Brie and Gillian Jacobs getting into a catfight over the Grumblelord.
Because Apple lovers need their bi-yearly helping of Jobs.
So, I’m busy thinking about Halloween costumes in case I actually get invited to things. Debating how to pull off Krombopulos Michael. Black long-sleeved shirt, black sports vest thing, black sweatpants, goggles, and a tiny water gun for the anti-matter gun?
I’m trying to figure out how to go as Lamar Odom in a way that won’t be over the line tasteless.
Tasteful blackface only.
http://41.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lki38o8G0F1qbqxsmo1_1280.png
The question is will your costume even need to be remotely accurate, or are you likely to get invited to a function where people are familiar with Rick & Morty?
Steve Jobs: Let the Papers Hit the Floor
Matt, I am disappoint
— Matt Ryan’s parents
“Others noted that the all-day breakfast menu is confusing to some customers because it varies regionally. In some states, McDonald’s is offering McMuffins on the all-day menu, while in others, only biscuit sandwiches are available.”
Because it’s such a greater task to make an english muffin than a biscuit.
Congress should really do something. Maybe.
My cat running headlong into the sliding glass door she thinks is open will never not be hilarious.
Daniel Murphy for President!!!
“We could do worse.”
http://www.bruceongames.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/George-Bush-Mission-accomplished.jpg
Well he is a born-again with a problem with the queers so he should fit right in with the current GOP slate.
Fuck that guy.