NE @ Ind: [swallows bile and pride] I have to give the guy credit for saying what everyone knows and what never gets said in major media. There. I feel faint but I think I’m okay. What no one addressed is that Brady added, “Donuts are the Anti-Christ!” so the Pats may want to re-evaluate their concussion protocols. Look, the Pats are rested, this is a “revenge” game and Belichick has had two weeks to prepare. This will not go well for the Colts. Don’t get me wrong-I’ll be cheering for the home team but their D is porous and QB-wise this is a no-brainer. Prove me wrong, Luck.
Well, I didn’t burn myself making bacon nachos, so I guess I’m giving myself permission for more alcohols. This is good.
Is that where you substitute bacon for chips?
Yes, actually. Highly recommend it.
And grease for cheese?
So basically it is just bacon with the grease poured over it and some melted cheese on top… Yeah, I would try that.
Baseball Bears be Baseball Bears-ing
3-0 Dirt Jets in the first, still nobody out
Dream injury scenario:
Brady to Gronk TD, Gronk spikes ball and it hits Brady in the crotch hard enough to blow open his scrotum. Bits of testicle get in Belichek’s eye and give him eye-herpes.
Or…
http://33.media.tumblr.com/4019e2102b5ea4c2140f4da3b6316b85/tumblr_mi9w15yDMU1qebadgo1_500.gif
I’m unable to find a gif from RoboCop of the dick shot, so here’s a random RoboCop gif
http://media1.giphy.com/media/YsLkkSvGXheh2/giphy.gif
Amanda Cosgrove is really bringing it in this The Intruders movie.
Holy shit, that pregame song feels like it lasts for 20 minutes.
NBC wasting no time blowing Brady.
“And here I sit in jail…”
– John Hinkley, Jr.
Does Comcast own stock in the TB12 concussion drink or something?
Dirt Jets are on the board, regular Jets beat the Slurs…. all I need now is a Mets win and a Patriots injury fest and my Sunday will be complete.
Don’t believe the lies, kids, ritual sacrifice works!
Also the Winnipeg Jets lost today to the St. Louis Blues. 4-2. In case that matters in Jets news.
One of them has to lose, and I’ll take that one.
This displeases me.
1-0 Dirt Jets already
Closing roofs is for pussies.
A former pro who writes for the Tribune and now for ESPN wrote a piece saying Brady’s performance in the first 5 games of this season has vindicated him–basically saying that under-inflating the balls OBVIOUSLY didn’t give TAAWMY any unfair advantage, because look at how great he’s done this year.
These guys just don’t get it, do they? It doesn’t matter if “everybody does it,” Brady was CAUGHT breaking rules. And then he destroyed evidence in order to avoid implicating himself. Innocent guys don’t have underlings destroy their cell phones.
Brady cheated. End of story. Doesn’t matter if he’s doing well now. He cheated and got caught. You can call him Super Bowl champ and MVP all you want, but you have to call him “cheater,” too.
They don’t get it. The real flaw of the internet has been that it has empowered the voices of the status quo while all dissension is lumped in with spam/trolls.
And that’s why I support looser gun laws.
I keep telling a friend of mine who is a Pats fan: it’s the cover up, not the crime. If Brasy had just said, yeah, I did it, fuck off, end of story. But ducking and dodging and generally behaving like the rules don’t apply gets you investigated every time.
Like how people say OJ didn’t do it.
There’s a difference between not doing it and not being convicted for it.
I’m also still hearing the “durrr, they won the game by fifty-some points” as if that’s the issue.
“Well, it turns out that you plagiarized large portions of your dissertation, but since the original parts would have been enough to slide by, we’ll give you your Ph.D. Congratulations!”
“What’s everyone so pissed off at me for? Sure, I drove drunk, but I made it home safely!”
My NBC HD feed is not working, looks like I’ll be watching this in SD.
Put it in h!
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As a Seahawks fan having to be in Dallas this weekend for a wedding – which had NO ALCOHOL because the invisible man in the sky frowns on the alcohol and gays and minorities – attempting to get the Seahawks game on at a bar is a lesson in patience and how not to pull a persons spine out of their throat.
With that said: god dammit #firedarrellbevell already.
A wedding without booze? Fuck Jesusland
Wow! The last wedding I was at the Invisible man (or person) had an open bar. Those in the minorities were the ones who weren’t drinkin’. Just say’n.
It was obviously not a Catholic wedding.
Mute
GO PATS! PUT 100 POINTS ON THOSE SNITCHING BLANK FLANKS!!!!
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I watched a baseball game for the first time in years last night. It was awful. When I was working at a Quiznos where we had the Brewers game on the radio it was tolerable because we were busy and it was background noise, actually watching a game is just not entertaining.
That’s really saying something, coming from a Bears fan
How do they allow 3 minutes between pitches? I wanted to stab someone last night watching it. My dad was watching the Hawks win, I regret just not watching that.
I can watch baseball, but I understand the frustration with delays. If you want to REALLY hate pitchers, watch any Yankees-Red Sox game. They are ALWAYS an hour longer than any other game.
Looking at the banner image; “more like Fenway PORK, amirite?”
I think it says a lot that the Ravens gave up 340 passing yards to Kapernick. Mainly that the Ravens secondary is complete ass.
I actually think the Raiders are much better this year, BUT – the Ravens defense gave up 37 points to the Raiders. They really are complete ass.
Imagine the editorial piece Costas would have prepared if Brady was a rarely used relief pitcher for the Red Sox and had been accused of lightly scuffing baseballs with a nail file.
Ok, back in front of the TV for beisból after my self imposed exile during the Bears cocktease. How the fuck are you all doing?
As an architect, I’ll bet Andrew Luck could design some pretty good mud huts.
Yurts R Hodor
He can paint a motherfucking cave!
Been sleeping since Martavisdown II.
Rough weekend.
Is Landry Jones Vince Gilligan?
I was thinking Kyle Orton Jr.
That works better.
hey guys
Good day sir.
what’s up?
woo stillers
Hasslebeck vs. Brady: Who says you can’t relive your thirties?
I think Luck’s playing tonight. Solid joke otherwise.
Well in that case, Andrew Luck: Who says you can’t relive biblical times?
Hodor
It’s like you didn’t even read my game intro, John.
[wipes away tear]
I’m waking up from a wicked Kirk Cousins stupor, you’ll have to excuse me.
Who says you can’t relive that barn-raising?
My wife ran her half-marathon today, so we’ve had donuts, beer, and burgers today. Pretty much my vegetable intake has been salsa and the tomatoes and mushrooms and grilled onions on my burger.
Looking forward to my annual physical on Friday, too. Fuck.
How was the bacon-stuffed baconburger?
Damn. This belongs to Moonbatting.
The turkey leg, boudin, and corn dog were all awesome
Men. I spent all day at the State Fair, so I hadn’t been following the games. I don’t know if this has been mentioned, but I think, and this is just one man’s opinion, that Peyton Manning may be slipping a little bit
HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT FANDRAFTKINGSDUEL??????? I AM RICH!!!!
Sure he threw 3 interceptions…but he also had a TD pass…thereby shutting up all his critics forever.
Best possible outcome tonight: ahead 52-0, Belichek leaves Brady in to run up the score (BECAWZ WE AH IN FACK YOU MODE), he blows an ACL and is done for the season.
You forgot “Belichek has a stroke” in your “best possible outcome,” too.
Game ends with the feds rushing the field to arrest Brady for distribution of PEDs with Guerrero.
Bob Kraft is also arrested for his involvement in DraftKings or FanDuel or whichever it was, and fined so much that he is forced to sell the team to the league. Roger Goodell announces that “our long national nightmare is over,” folds the franchise, and decides to take advantage of his rare moment of popularity to resign the Commissionership.
As Belichek has no heart, he also has no need for arteries or for blood which could clot. But your concept is sound. Perhaps someone dumps a Gatorade cooler of holy water on him and he vaporizes.
Embolisms are pussy strokes. Belichek needs to go via aneurysm. He needs to be a bleeder that starts off mild, then he goes in to the ER and opts for streptokynase to bust the clot, but it ends up making the bleed worse and he expires from it.
Because fuck him.
I love seeing Cam Newton have success. Pretty much the dude has survived all the bullshit from the SEC and the NCAA. He has had to deal with the bullshit sports writers who can get away with saying all kinds of shit because he is black and would never do the same to a white QB.
He’s a genuinely likable dude who also makes his team a hell of a lot better. I hate the “class act” cliche, but he absolutely is one.
His yogurt commercials are funny, too.
And if he invested his Auburn payoff money right, he doesn’t even need the NFL.
I have to say, watching the Hox suffer another heartbreaking loss was a very entertaining experience. Sorry, Hox commentists.
Do we have any, since the migration?
I’ve been saying for 4 years now, it’s telling that each of the Seahawks def coords keep being tapped for head coaching jobs, yet no one has been calling up Darrell Bevell.
So my goal for tonight’s game is to not get myself banned from the comments section.
Unfortunately, when New England plays in primetime, I make no guarantees. Especially since I was drunk already at 1 PM earlier today.
Apologies in advance for my Patriots fandom/general existence.
Has anyone gotten banned from here? I mean, outside of spambots?
I don’t think so. I’d really like to not be the first, especially since I have a bitchin’ recap post planned for the C-Hox game tomorrow morning.
“Put it on the Calendar or you are banned.” – DTZM
I will join you in general drunk and stupid comments. We will have to work on your shitty choice in fandom some other time
I cannot guarantee myself tomorrow during Iggles/baseball Argonauts
You’re that rarest of rare birds, a Patriot fan who’s self-aware.
It is fucking NE and IND for the Sunday night game… holy shit I do not want to watch this game. (I will be here til the game ends)
I’ve moved from drinking straight vodka to huffing ether.
Some pretty good games today. This will not be one of them.
SD @ GB: 2/10
SD @ GB w/ Laseface factor: 10/10
http://profootballmock.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/SAN-DIEGO-CHARGERS-PHILIP-RIVERS-WITH-MOUTH-EYES.jpg
Philip Rivers throws for 500+ yards and loses by inches to one of the best teams in the league.
Peyton Manning throws for inches and the rest of his team barely beats the goddamn Browns.
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This is bullshit. I never touched her. Oh, hai, Mark!
“Oh hi failed goal line scoring opportunity!”
My gf.”If he can’t feel his fingers why the hell is he playing?”
Me: THE LOVE OF THE GAME
GF: I used to play uni rugby and blew my knee, he should beat it, he has enough goddamn money.
Me. Papa Johns.
I win.
Melvin Gordon got beaten up so bad he ended up in a hospital on Guerrero street.
Its local election time here in Roanoke.
I’ve always had the idea that if I ran for political office, I would have my underlings create a fake group in my opponent’s name to create like absolutely insane negative ads against me like…
“JustStopDude served in the US military…Do we really want a potential War Criminal in office? Paid for by Friends of JustStopDude’s Opponent” or…
“JustStopDude has a record of dating a black women. Isn’t it time we bring back miscegenation? Paid for by Friends of JustStopDude’s Opponent”…
Why has no one thought of this?
Because the populace would actually turn against veterans.
People are fucking INSANE when it comes to elections.
Look at all the stupid shit Trump and Carson have said. Stupid shit doesn’t stick to the stupid people who say it.
PK has a 15 seconds segment. Get’s 12 seconds in and freezes.
So I guess what the Colts are expected to learn from this game is….Snitches end up in ditches?
Snitches become bitches.
In the big house.
Double entendre intended
“And their drug addict owner made moves to improve the offense.”
Next sentence is:
“The offensive line has been horrible…”
Pro tip – paddle to the game & save on parking!
http://hugelolcdn.com/i460/81565.jpg
Yeah – and IND was correct that the Pats were deflating balls. Are we seriously applauding the Pats for being ‘fired up’ about getting caught?
I’d like to see Bob Costas get shot by one of these shooters I keep hearing about.
Would love to see the Pats lose like Michigan did yesterday.
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Need 30 by dreamboat and vinitieri combined. I feel dirty.
If there is no action on the mainstream media front, I fully expect TMZ or the National Enquirer to dig up an ex-Guerrero patient to provide quotes about how he pushes PEDs by the end of the month.
If there is no action on the mainstream media front, I fully expect TMZ or the National Enquirer to dig up an ex-Guerrero patient to provide quotes about how he pushes PEDs.
Despite the fact that I have New England as the last part of a, so far, successful 2 team parlay, I’m going to tap out of the football coverage and switch my attention to the baseball.
Yes it’s odd but my boys are in rarified air.
Let’s go Cubbies.
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