Everywhere you turn around these days it seems like things are going to shit. Whether it’s be-headings abroad or mass shootings here or government officials telling outright lies and not being called on it or hell, not getting that raise you were promised-don’t you think it would be nice to have some semblance of order? I’m not talking law and order, I’m just saying things should occasionally make a little sense. “But scotchnaut”, you interrupted before I was finished my thought-“the world is full of grey areas, there are no absolutes.” Sure, I get that and I’m with you most of the time but it would be nice if things were simpler, just for a bit. I’m not asking for ball-jarring change either. Let’s start off small-say, I don’t know…hmm, what about a Giants victory tonight? A win would separate them from the Eagles, a loss would send the NFC East into a chaotic jumble of two 3-3 teams followed by a 2-3 team. More messiness for you, me and the world to deal with. Embrace Clarity. Go Giants!
NYG @ Phi: Eli has been a whole ‘nutella QB so far this year. He’s got the 10 TD’s with only 2 picks (though he could regress in a heartbeat and add 3 to the total tonight) and due to some very solid play from O-linemen Pugh, Richburg and Schwartz he’s only been sacked 4 times. Red zone-wise the Giants grade out at 29th in the league. (I read that Coughlin calls it the green zone because ‘green means go’ and of course the lawn thing). The three-headed mediocrity of Vereen, Jennings and Williams aren’t doing the running game any favours, Beckham is hamstringed by a leg injury as is Randle plus Kennard and Prince are out. The Eagles have taken 10 of the last 13 from NY but DeMarco does have a putrid 2.7 ypc and Matthews is out. If it falls on Bradford I’ll take my chances.
That’s the most encouraging drive I’ve seen from the Eagles all year.
SPRAY TALON
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4RHVoFpncgA
Hey OSZ, since you’re clearly going to beat me this week: You want Beer Barrel as a prize?
Sure! I have some special/weird ones I could take a pass at. What day do you usually aim for?
I said I was gonna change it up in the second half and not post Community women. I lied.
http://38.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ltwe78rQuI1qam69vo1_500.gif
I always wondered what happened to Bananarama.
Gillian Jacobs was in a dream I had last night. She took the place of a girl I knew in undergrad. In my dream, she said she wanted to get naked with me.
I like my dreams, sometimes.
Nothing could ever be worse than the prequels.
Please don’t fuck this up JJ.
J.J. Abrams makes fast-food movies. They’re tasty and full of things you love, but immediately forgettable and really shitty for you when you stop and think about it.
I’m all too aware of this.
Other than Empire Strikes Back, you can say the same thing about the original trilogy.
Gentlemen, it’s too late for me to start drinking, but I made an autistic kid cry tonight, so I feel like that counts, right?
It’s never too late or too early to start drinking. Ice Up, Son!
I don’t accept your premise.
5 minutes to Wopner!
What did you say to Eli that made him cry?
I took away his carob chips.
I just really want to see JPP’s freaky hand now
http://36.media.tumblr.com/0fad0719019e5c8228613b336f1e925f/tumblr_inline_nr33cl59bm1r4zit4_400.jpg
There are pics online if you’re so inclined.
Yeah, that pretty nasty.
Stay away from teh fireworks, kids. Leave that to a trained, $7/hour on-bath salts professional
http://basementrejects.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/total-recall-1990-kuato.jpg
OPEN YOUR MIND
http://33.media.tumblr.com/19037b8ea4305d209264fb7f6b90186d/tumblr_nkndaehQjv1r88u00o1_500.gif
HOT TAEK: I’m looking forward to the new Star Wars, because Abrams is 2-for-2 with Star Trek movies, and the previous regime was 3-for-6.
That was the most Eli play I’ve ever seen.
to be fair, it’s WAY past his bedtime
He’s still all hopped up with excitement for Star Wars
One of Chip Kelly’s unorthodox training procedures involves practicing with a football filled with angry, angry bees.
Poor Elisha, still with the herpin and the derpin
http://40.media.tumblr.com/abb3acbff50c78b452fd925727661446/tumblr_nlupp8pVYk1sox3bqo1_1280.jpg
Want to have SO bad…
Whoa, is potato sauce a real actual thing? I assumed the “it’s adequate!” tag on the poster meant it was a joke.
Ill take my potato in distilled form
http://www.10bestvodka.com/brands/potato/2015/june/stawski-potato-vodka/firm-logo.jpeg
“Use in place of catsup, cheese, OR LARD”
“Nalley’s is adequate!”
Isn’t that Cincinnati’s slogan about Andy Dalton?
HARPER LOSES, HOORAY FOR CANADA
HOURAY FOUR CANADA
THAT SCREWY SILLY PINE FOUREST CANADA
WHERE ANY OUFFICE BOUY OR YOUNG MECHANIC
CAN GET TREATED FOUR PANIC
BY JUST BEING A CITIZEN
I love this almost as much as I love Harper losing.
I aim to please.
This was badly needed-now we might be able to get up to speed on a number of social justice issues.
Yes, you don;t want to get too far behind whatever progress America has been dragged into kicking and screaming by the courts.
THIS GAME, I CALL IT HOSTESS ‘CAUSE THAT’S HOW MANY TURNOVERS IT HAS
Thank God for the Giants, because any competent NFL team would be blowing out the Eagles tonight.
Just saw the embedded trailer. Do they go to Tatooine AND Hoth AND have a new Death Star?
J.J. Abrams–king of fan service.
I mean, if you got to make a Star Wars movie, wouldn’t you?
No.
There’s a massive Extended Universe just waiting to be exploited that the hardcore nerds already fucking adore.
I would be foaming at the mouth at the hint of a reluctant red-haired Jedi.
As if it wasn’t clear from his shitty Star Trek movie.
Exactly.
Did you ever see Super 8? That whole goddamn movie was a Spielberg blowjob.
That’s why I didn’t see it.
I am, and forever will be, your nostalgia dealer.
Wait, that’s a movie?. I thought that was a Canadian political ad.
http://41.media.tumblr.com/4ba18b320871ade6e3ffc64c98bd18dd/tumblr_nn3waqUwaX1sviuduo1_500.jpg
He could be a background extra in the Mos Eisley cantina.
Skiddly-Boop!
/ok, I’m losing it…
Whew. There was almost a full minute there without a derp. I was getting worried.
I wonder how many Eagles fans yelling at Kelce right now know he’s their best player.
JON GRUDEN: THIS GUY J.J. ABRAMS! I CALL HIM CUMPILATION BECAUSE HE GIVES YOU ALL THE STUFF YOU LOVE WITHOUT STUPID SHIT LIKE PLOT OR DIALOGUE!
“Riley Cooper walked off under his own White Power.”
Maybe if all their receivers get hurt, they’ll run the ball.
Assassins Creed Syndicate is just Robin Hood in the 1880s right?
tbh I haven’t played an Assassin’s Creed game in four years and I want it.
http://38.media.tumblr.com/14b7e2e228aa74bb359ba2ffe9a15000/tumblr_nsam3v2KM01s0wwqso1_1280.gif
That’s a pretty nice truss bridge
Diora Baird sex scene — https://streamable.com/f6rn
Welcome back, titty lady
Giants secondary is tertiary at best.
Tomorrow, Tom Coughlin is going to distribute eggs with little faces drawn on them to every member of the Giants. If you can’t bring it back, undamaged, after carrying it around all week, you get benched.
Eli has already bent his Wookie tho
So glad I picked up the racist in Sill’s league this week.
http://41.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lr6mf7siNP1qz4x8xo1_1280.jpg
Harrison Ford + NFL ad and no Cialis, I’m shocked.
I hope the timing of this Star Wars thing means that there will be plenty of elections and political maneuvering in it, that was easily the best part of the other movies.
Filibuster of Fate
What in the galaxy are you talking about? The romance was what REALLY made those movies sizzle.
Let’s talk Councillor Borsk Fey’lya. I’ll dig in on some Expanded universe exposition.
I disagree, it’s the poetic dialogue.
It has to be the robot lizard man with empysema. He kind of reminds of George Bush Sr.
Riley Cooper might not like the New Star Wars trailer. Usually when someone takes off a white hat while wearing a white outfit, they don’t look like that.
?w=650
I didn’t see it but should the sub-title be Big Trouble In Little Tatooine?
Is it too much to ask Thunder? Kill him for me!
Here’s the Army and the Navy and the battles they have won.
May the wings of liberty never lose a feather.
WHAT HAPPENED TO SPOCK? I SAW BIGFOOT, BUT WHERE WAS SPOCK?
He’s dead this week.
Stolen from @jimlohmar
[fade in from black]
[hooded figure struggling thru the desert]
[stops suddenly]
enter fanduel daily fantasy promo code [CHEWBACCA SCREAM]
That new Star Wars movie does look pretty awesome though.
Did Berman just say Toronto vs Texas?
Yep. Go home Berman, You’re drunk … and an asshole.
*high
I think the only mainstream first-run movie I’ve been to since I moved to Chicago is The World’s End. The only movie theater walking distance from me is more midnight movie and classic/indie oriented.
That is a great fucking movie.
It really is.
http://ww1.hdnux.com/photos/41/10/41/8685668/5/rawImage.jpg
I bent my wookie.
I’m listening to the game on the radio, and all the Star Wars radio preview was just lightsaber sounds followed by the “cha-ching” of an old cash register for ten minutes.
New Star Wars looks pretty awesome…. like J.J. is going to only stick the tip in….
Star Wars Fan Duel of Fates Sponsored by the Draft Trade Federation
I have an erection from that now.
http://38.media.tumblr.com/fdc23776cd83cd96357d0b40ba1e42dd/tumblr_noaxqrBHfY1r332dio1_1280.gif
That’s fucking creepy.
This is somehow not the creepiest thing I’ve online
I just came on my car keys. Now I can’t go to work tomorrow.
You can always come on the bus…
Neat…..Fuck da Eagles!
Star Wars: Teasing cocks
Boomer’s contempt can suck my ass.
Somehow, nostalgia made me enjoy that even though I think only one of the six films is worth a damn.
It’s okay if you like Attack of the Clones