[waves beige flag] Up here in The Canada we’re three days into Justin Trudeau’s Reign Of Liberal Terror. Not much has changed. Oh wait, last night on my way home I was dragged out of my car and forced to do a bong against my will. Bastard six year-old’s-I’ll get you some day! Actually, now that I think of it, I walked into work the day after the election and my new boss was an Inuit-and I own my own business. That’s not right. Well, I’m sure I’ll feel better at 4 pm tomorrow when I collect my first weekly $500 Happy Citizen Stipend. I can apply for more but I don’t want to seem greedy. I guess at some point I’ll get accustomed to all the changes but it’s going to take some time…
Sea @ SF: Is it week seven already? Then it must be the first of many must-win games for the dregs of the NFC West. The team that does the vanquishing tonight will greatly increase their odds of finishing third in the division. Despite Sherman’s bravado, you (if you are a team) can run, pass and wiggle the old kielbasa at The Legion of Boom and they won’t do much about it. Everyone gets well vs. the Niners this year but the ‘Hawks are wonky as hell. [light bulb appears over head] I’ve got it! “THIS GAME WILL NOT BE A MESS.” There ya go-I fixed it for you!*
*pssst…there’s hockey, college football, FIFA U-17 Football, wood nymph volleyball and even Grey’s Scatology on elsewhere-I won’t mind if those things come up every once in while down below.
I don’t often drink vodka, but when I do I prefer Sav-On™ brand Charcoal Filtered vodka.
It’s worth every bit of the $9.99
To that couple in the Lexus SUV commercial, I hope you both die of a blistering skin disease
The intern that thought up “SEA legs” just earned his lunch stipend.
New game: guess how the Seahawks will snatch defeat from the jaws of victory for this game.
Jimmy Graham is allowed to catch the ball?
Then dunk it like a good power forward.
Yes, but he only gets one dribble.
I thought he was only allowed to dribble
IT’S COCKTAIL TIME! Blanco tequila, Cointreau, sweet and dry vermouth, orange bitters
What’s that called?
Tangible Triumph
http://kitchenette.jezebel.com/how-to-make-the-tangible-triumph-a-tequila-cocktail-fo-1707719032
I’d like to get some mezcal and sub in maybe 1/2 oz of that in this at some point. I think that’d be a good twist on it.
Hmm…methinks I’m too sober…
*Looks at gin & tonic*
*Looks at OSZ*
I’ll have what he’s having.
Ooooooh, look at Mr. Fancypants with his TWO different kinds of vermouth.
REAL MEN DRINK PAINT THINNER AND LIKE IT!
Cointreau is French for “surrender”. Nice going, Zero.
Maybe someone should tell Boldin that if he can’t outrun a linebacker, he shouldn’t be playing.
Not… not me though. Someone else.
Sill, I don’t know if you’re following Ice Steelers vs Ice Mavericks, but you should probably put away any sharp objects
Ice Giants are tied with the Ice Cardinals. I may need a sharp object.
Ice mavericks?
http://www.topgunday.com/wp-content/gallery/top-gun/iceman-maverick-i-am-dangerous-artist-rendering.jpg
Ice Pirates?
Kaepernick was not cooking on that last drive
http://38.media.tumblr.com/eddce79c6a005349610dfe5bc9648bbf/tumblr_mrppnko4qC1rcoly3o5_500.gif
http://cdn.funnyisms.com/62f32d40-af78-4208-b565-c81d4ee5203c.jpg
Will Kaep be a 49er next year? 2017?
A screen to Reggie Bush. They’ll never see it coming.
This game hasn’t really been very good so far, has it?
It’s been quite 7hitty
I reckon I will watch a good bit of JV footy
It’s getting me drunk. That classifies as good in my book*.
*I have very low standards
Mattingly will take his sideburns elsewhere
While Ozzie Smith remains vanished off the face of the Earth.
http://cdn2.sbnation.com/imported_assets/1059116/HatB_-_Don_Mattingly_s_misfortune.png
ANNOUNCER: “That sleeper is out there.”
DARREN SHARPER: “I’m listening…”
That winning lottery ticket is out there, punk. Do YOU have the balls to pick it?
7ragonfly coming
At the half Kap will have a tattoo of the fly reading the bible on his neck.
Tyler Breeze has been instantly ruined. INSTANTLY. Stupid, stupid creative.
Well…yeah.
Why, yes, I am eating the candy we ostensibly bought to give out on Halloween.
BUY YOUR OWN, YOU LITTLE FREELOADING SHITHEELS
“They would if Obummer would let them work!”
– Libertarians
HURL THE RAINBOW!
TASTE THE RAINBOW A SECOND TIME!
I’ll say something positive: that EA commercial with Drew Brees, Clay Matthews, and Beef Moe in the college classroom is fucking hilarious. More commercials should be like that.
So as I mentioned a while back, the guy who plays Garfield on “Another Period” moved in across from me. Since moving in, I’ve yet to meet him, and I haven’t even seen any sign of his presence in the last two weeks. Best. Neighbor. Ever.
Better than my buddy’s neighbor who sunbathed topless on the patio her apartment shared with his?
I stand corrected. But he’s still a very good neighbor.
Another Period: The story of a birth control pill gone horribly wrong.
Afternoons are for defecating and learning Latin.
Too Many Skittles
PUKE the rainbow
Barf the rainbow.
Gentlemen.
Sez you.
Me thinks not.
Mentlegen
Salsa or pico de gallo?
pico de gallo
Are you kidding me? Tango all night long, baby.
That’s not the question I asked.
We’re doing humour occasionally here.
Yes…yes I am aware…sigh…attempt at humor misinterpreted…
I’ll not do better next time.
Jurassic world looks awful.
Just wanted to say that.
It was. At the end two rival dinosaurs basically fist bump.
It looks even more awful when you watch the whole thing in chronological order.
It was but it’s all I have
I liked it. But I have a different judging scale for popcorn movies than a lot of people.
Significant other is going to her 1st condo board meeting tonight. She has no fucking idea what she is in for.
“Do you want to come?”
“Does the room need to be filled with uppercuts?”
“Fine then.”
Best of luck to you when she comes home!
It’s like, once he got to Seattle, Jimmy Graham never played basketball ever.
BUT CAN HE CATCH FISH?????
Jimmy Graham played basketball?! You’d think someone would have said something about it over the years.
Yeah, that’s very distinctive and highly unusual for a foosball player to have played another sport.
From Reddit
http://zippy.gfycat.com/TenderPaltryDogwoodclubgall.gif
Quit stealing OSZ’s bit.
The link died. It was Kaep hitting that guy in the head on the sideline.
http://giant.gfycat.com/TenderPaltryDogwoodclubgall.gif
I have never sworn at a FF player than Doug Baldwin this year. There just are no other options… DO SOMETHING
To my fellow Ohioans: what do I vote on issue 3?
Yes. Or No?
Didn’t they include bath salts with your voter’s guide? That should help you make up your mind.
A strongly definitive “Maybe.”
/not from Ohio
THC Positive.
The smart money is on Trudeau.
No. It’s all well and good to de-criminalize weed, but enshrining a monopoly to a single company in the state constitution is not the way to do it.
Just look at the clusterfuck legalizing casino gambling via constitutional amendment.
“Rawls, can you spell Lynch?”
“L…I…”
“FAIL!”
“You don’t spell Lynch, son, you tackle it!”
“I know, I know!”
– Riley Cooper, raising his hand
“I-R-I-S-H.”
Oh, I thought you said Rowles.
At least this game is already better than the powderpuff game I had to officiate last night
The Chargers played last night?
Roja or verde?
VERDE!!!!
Christmas.
Yes.
Roja unless its summer where you are.
Jesus, Pheel great situational awareness there. That overthrow was totally warranted. No fucking Colin hits that open man after Sherman slipped.
HOLDING?!?!
Clearly the refs are part of the Illuminati…
http://i.imgur.com/btq4CS6.png
Welcome back, Kaep (aka Talibeard Squidward). Your brief flirtation with moderate competence was quite amusing.
Well, this game is pretty much going the way I expected it to.
Evening. It’s all most basketball season. Go Spurs Go
Huh? That’s 3 weeks in mid-March to early-April, when gambling makes me care.
Gambling:The Care Giver
Over7hrow.
Wheee! Great America, bringing mediocrity to theme parks.
I just realized that I have to work on Saturday morning, so I should probably do my Friday drinkin’ today.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=opk4x7jzRS4
You gotta love awesome sports ‘bros’ at the bar, who are compelled to keep opening their stupid mouths at you, trying to out-fan you.
/urge to kill rising
Ice them:
http://img.tesco.com/Groceries/pi/557/5410316986557/IDShot_540x540.jpg
My favorite is when the get loud and obnoxious about a penalty…that was a clear penalty and correctly called…
“AWWW DUDE what was THAT?!?”
“Encroachment…literally one of the most simple penalties in football”
“NAAAAHHH BULLSHIT!!!!”
There’s one of those on the other side of me.
Great, I’m surrounded by assholes.
I love sports. I love the drama…the strategy, the hidden beauty. The level of skill and practice it takes.
I fucking detest my fellow sports fans. We are all the scum of the earth.
http://media.giphy.com/media/y1pcMyHcysyNq/giphy.gif
Goddammit.
http://img.pandawhale.com/post-56708-Spaceballs-Im-surrounded-by-as-KRsc.gif
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Hahahaha
HOLY SHIT THIS IS HILARIOUS!
http://jimpunk.net/Loading/wp-content/uploads/loading34.gif
OSZ has been replaced by an Uproxx writer. #SpiralForever
It took forever to load for me, so here’s a smaller version
http://jimpunk.net/Loading/wp-content/uploads/loading1.gif
Sorry, big file.
Can we all agree that the 49ers are far more reprehensible historically than the C-Hox?
So, go C-Hox?
Well, sure, I mean…just, yeah.
CONFIRMATION BIAS
I HAVEN’T SEEN A PATTON BREAK THROUGH LIKE THAT SINCE…eh, too easy.
SINCE THE FAMOUS BOWLS ROUTINE WOO
Congratulations, CBS, you proved to me that it *is* possible for me to be uninterested in watching a pretty girl rip her shirt open.
Hey! Wow! I did not know that I could eat breakfast anytime of day.
I used to call those meals lunch and dinner.
No passing in short yardage situations? TOMMY DOES NOT APPROVE!
http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/2013-12/enhanced/webdr01/27/11/anigif_enhanced-buzz-21256-1388160485-0.gif
Oh Hai Danny!
Are you on drugs? Where did you get the drugs?
You are not my mother!
Oh Hai doggy!
How many commercial breaks will there be before the next play not ending in a touchback?
I think the Seahawks washed their uniforms in the same load with their new black jeans.