It’s Finally Here-Your Sunday Night Thread

Phi @ Car: This game looks like a keeper, don’t it? I see two solid D’s taking on patchwork O’s that get results. I can’t help thinking this will be a close, hard-fought game that ends with me snoring on my sofa because I had three scotches/beers too many. Carolina has a strong pass D and Philly is without Agholor(?) (pronounced “Oh-Ver-Ray-Ted”) and a banged-up Cooper. The Panthers run game is strong but the Eagles D should be up to the task. However Ginn, Cotchery and Funchess constitute a WRBC (wide receiver by committee) that gets things done. Maybe it’s time to take Cam a bit more seriously-he seems to have reined in his worst instincts and put it all together. Also, he does have an Olsen at TE-a guy who no one seems to have an answer for if he’s targeted enough times.

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Gratliff

Season over.

litre_cola

The Fuck is a Dennis Kelly?

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Another of Chip Kelly’s brilliant offseason roster moves. His nephew

Sill Bimmons

That’s his Achilles.

That’s really too bad.

Romonobyl

Another gravity-related fatality.

Gratliff

All-world lineman going out. Fuck me.

Sharkbait

That circle looks like they are about to sacrifice him.

KALI MAH
KALI MAH

JustStopDude

“Tune into NBC…cause at this point…we are just throwing shit against a wall and going with what sticks…”

Sharkbait

Isnt that in the rulebook about what constitutes a catch?

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Am I the only one who hates the music for the Galaxy Samsung commercials?

Martin

Never heard it

JustStopDude
Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Her music video is even more annoying. I didn’t even think that was possible!

litre_cola

Jason Peters hurt, in all seriously Eagles are fucked. I know this pleases most of you, its rye time.

Doktor Zymm

I’m never happy about injuries because they play for a team I don’t like. I’m only happy about injuries to assholes, and as far as I know Peters doesn’t fall in that category, so I sympathize. Looked like a non-contact injury too, and those always end up being the worst 🙁

WhyEaglesWhy

You can understand why he took that sack. He only had about 13 seconds to throw.

King Hippo

His eyes just never seemed to focus in on the blitz

Brick Meathook

I would totally buy this thing
http://i.imgur.com/DNAXCK6.jpg

John Difool

Who wouldn’t?

Doktor Zymm

That’s a pretty damn sexy jet car thing.

WhyEaglesWhy

It looks like the sci-fi version of The Homer.

Brick Meathook

It’s the Cadillac Cyclone concept car from 1958.
http://i.imgur.com/FfHPP8u.jpg

JustStopDude

“Okay guys…What the FUCK WAS THAT?!?”

-Eagles Offensive Line Coach in the tape room this week.

WhyEaglesWhy

I’ll wager that at least 50% of the Eagles’ yards this year are from screens to RBs. It’s the only thing sort of working.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

“I TOLD YOU IT WOULD WORK!” -former Bears OC Ron Zook

Sill Bimmons

BOSS TODD APPROVED GAMEPLAN

blackroseMD1

So, Philly…what’s the secret to keeping Ryan Mathews healthy?

I think that’s an imposter, seeing as how he’s not hurt and/or fumbling.

litre_cola

Meth from Jersey

WhyEaglesWhy

He was hurt last week. He just hasn’t sat out any games.

Doktor Zymm

I thought I caught VD, but the refs ruled it was intercepted.

WhyEaglesWhy

You didn’t complete the process of the sex.

Sill Bimmons

Your knee wasn’t down before the ejaculate came out.

Sharkbait

Flag for illegal use of the hands

WCS

Earlier, the dog threw up everything she’s consumed in the last 36 hours all over the backseat of the car. I just took her outside, and she’s also got the runs. She’s still in better shape than the start of this game.

litre_cola

Miles Austin! Lady and Gentlemen

WhyEaglesWhy

Don’t worry Cris, the Eagles are still in big trouble.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Thomas Davis: STILL good at football.

Brick Meathook

The mouthguard on his ear was a nice touch.

litre_cola

After the game he will make an expanded earhole thing with it.

King Hippo

Seems like a bullshit call, but still FUCK TED GINN

The Maestro

And the “what constitutes a catch?” debate rages on for a few more weeks, now.

Sill Bimmons

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN WHAT THE FUCK A CATCH IS ANYMORE

WhyEaglesWhy

No.

Doktor Zymm

Who fucking knows…

blackroseMD1

It’s only considered a catch these days if you catch it with your legs while doing a one handed handstand.

Sharkbait

I think the NFL office just flips a coin at this point.

Martin

Unless you’re the motherfucking Patriots.

Gratliff

On the other hand, Carrol has been fucking legit lately.

Sill Bimmons

BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Oh great, now McDonalds has a chance to serve breakfast as horribly as they serve lunch.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Egg McMuffin for lunch is fucking delicious

Sill Bimmons

^^^ THIS ^^^

Martin

AM Crunch Wrap is much better.

WhyEaglesWhy

That’s a catch and he’s down.

Sharkbait

Eagles offense: HEEEEERP
Panthers Offense: We see your HEEEERP and raise you DEEEEERP

Sill Bimmons

Ted Ginn, Jr. is just an appalling football player.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

The original Cordarrelle Patterson.

Sill Bimmons

Renaldo Nehemiah.

Col. Duke LaCross

My god, the officiating this afternoon and evening have gone full retard.

Martin

Rex is lucky the Bills don’t leave him behind in London.

Doktor Zymm

THIS SAM BRADFORD I CALL HIM PEPPERIDGE FARMS BECAUSE HE MAKES A LOT OF TURNOVERS
http://www.foodservicedirect.com/productimages/OTF343641S.jpg

Old School Zero

Anything you can herp I can derp better

Doktor Zymm

I can derp anything better than you!
http://itscol.es/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/herp_derp.jpg

Gratliff

Better guys.

WhyEaglesWhy

Can we just cut Jordan Matthews at halftime?

Sharkbait

What in the fuck is happening?

WhyEaglesWhy

Welp.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

NobodylaysafingeronmyButterfingerception!

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Iggles Schadenfreude: Engaged

JustStopDude

Well apparently Carolina’s D is too impatient to even wait for the Eagles typical 60 second 3 and out drill.

Gratliff

Not great, guys.

Doktor Zymm

And they say football is unpredictable!

John Difool

Sean McDermott looks like Red Foreman

Sharkbait

#KONY2015

Sill Bimmons

I know the foreman at the plant that produces Transit Diesel engines in Southampton.

Doktor Zymm

I’m going to repeat myself.
Why does everyone still think the Eagles are good and the Panthers aren’t?

JustStopDude

Race of the QB’s.

King Hippo

That was the basis of my imaginary betting this week!

I mean, Jeebus, the opening spread was FUCKING 2.5!!!

nomonkeyfun

Because the Panther’s coach and QB are too ethnic?

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

I don’t think most people think Philly is that good. As for Carolina: Cam Newton plus no receivers plus J Stew just sounds like a recipe for inconsistency

Sill Bimmons

The extremely low wavelength of the light reflected by the QB’s skin.

Gratliff

Welp, this is about what I was expecting.

JustStopDude

That was a good pass…but Cam’s a little too black…er I mean “immature” to be a QB in this league

-Every douchbag NFL writer.

John Difool

The Ford F-150 …..every other truck is history…. except when you don’t want to pay 80,000 dollars for a truck then those trucks are pretty much fucking relevant.

JustStopDude

Remember when you could get a small pickup truck?

I had an GMC Canyon. Nice little truck. Can’t get small trucks no more.

litre_cola

We are going to replace the Eagles run D with the Chargers, see if anyone notices

WCS

WELP

Old School Zero

Looks about right to me.