It’s Your Monday Nighter Open Thread!

I don’t know how we did it. We watched a quadruple-header yesterday and there are no urine stains on the sofa. Not only that, but we’re back to watch this. I don’t use the word “heroes” very often but damnit!, we are heroes. We’ve slogged through some lousy ref calls, brain-meltingly bad throws by QB’s, shortages of beer, the nagging of significant others, carb-heavy food choices, glasses of scotch that refuse to remain full, mystifying third down play calls, kids demanding to be fed, half-hour late delivery guys and fridges/bathrooms that are much farther away from the tv than they should be. How did we do it? I don’t know-it’s a question for the ages…

Bal @ Ari: The spread here is boysenberry and ten. The Ravens are 0-5-1 against both. They are the masters of squeaking out the close loss-they’ve  done it by 6, 4, 4, 3 and 5 for an average of 4.4. Where did the .4 come from? I’m no mathemagician, but I’m guessing a failed on-side kick or a shared sack or some such. I’d just like to say a little something about Mr. Chris Johnson. The guy is 30 years old and was an afterthought when he was signed by the Cards-Ellington was the lead guy and there was this rook stud by the name of David Johnson in the wings just biding his time until he took over. CJ was done-that blazing Cop Speed that his game was predicated on was long gone. He’s not the back that can hit a home run at any given time any more because he changed his style. At 203 pounds he’s taking a pounding running up the middle. I just can’t see a similar back, say Jamaal Charles, doing the same thing at 30. Why? Because he’ll be out for the season with an injury that year as well. Well done, Chris.

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entropy

Hang on. The medical staff won’t let players on the field with concussion symptoms, and players are sidelined with turf toe every damn year, but some doctor signed off on letting Steve Smith Sr play with broken bones in his BACK?! We’re a few weeks away from an on-field paralyzing injury, right?

JustStopDude

You volunteering to go up to Steve Smith and telling him to go sit this one out?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Tell him you are a baby.

Spanky Datass

JUST ICE UP, BABY!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This is a good time for a Flacco-ception

Old School Zero
makeitsnowondem

This is some great-ass moutheyes.

Old School Zero

I’ve decided on a Halloween-week theme.

blordinaryfagicmox
Brick Meathook

I thought you meant STELLAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!
http://i.imgur.com/Yy0Gx41.jpg

blordinaryfagicmox

Are they going to rip off Manic Mailman next?

http://farm9.static.flickr.com/8525/8631227245_180127f53a_m.jpg

Stabby Pants

No Al, I don’t know what happened with Ray Rice. Please, tell me.

JustStopDude

Wait…what happened to Ray Rice?!?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Got kicked out of the quiet car. Thought he would cry.

entropy

Incomp-elite.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

“Based on the true story … and we will never finish that sentence” No fucking clue who that biopic is about.

makeitsnowondem

CJ4000BC

JustStopDude

The “Gru-mote Control” should be taken out to the parking lot and savagely curb stomped.

Stabby Pants

Fantasy Team Failure Down!

King Hippo

COP SPEED!!!!!!!!!!!

JustStopDude

Dear god how does the Raven’s secondary manage to be THIS undersized, THIS slow, and THIS out of position.

Its the perfect SHIT STORM…

King Hippo

I can’t believe it took me 6 weeks to cut the mofos.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

You misspelled Colts’

Stabby Pants

Half injuries, half ozzie dumpster diving for cornerbacks 3 through 6.

Stabby Pants

Judging by the quote unquote pass defense, I don’t think that field goals are gonna win this game, Harbs.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I need Baby puncher or Palmer to put up 2 points for me to win my FF game. I am rooting against that because a game where they can’t put up 2 points will be more entertaining than a win for me.

makeitsnowondem

New drink tonight: 4th Tap Long Walk IPA. Grapefruit IPA from Austin’s new worker-owned brewery. Pretty great.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Now, now, Jon, just because he’s a Rhodes Scholar doesn’t guarantee that he’ll make prudent decisions.

http://cdn.history.com/sites/2/2013/11/clinton-oxford.jpg

blordinaryfagicmox

Im just trying to undue everything you’re doing.
comment image

John Difool

I would’ve flown 1,000,000 parses just to sniff one of Princess Ardala’s farts

John Difool

The original Sex Cannon.

Martin

JFK would disagree if he weren’t already busy banging two girls at once.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Banging slaves is where it’s at, PAL!”

T. Jefferson

Stabby Pants

The Refs are incompetent? Well thats a new theme.

laserguru

The bar we’re in has bar snack mix in little bowls. I had to have the “Some guys don’t wash their hands after visiting the men’s room while drinking” conversation.
My daughter and my niece now insist that we introduce the term “weiner hands” into the public lexicon.

JustStopDude

Second this motion.

Sill Bimmons

I’ll allow it.

Martin

Can’t we just cut the hands off these animals?

blordinaryfagicmox

DQ’s Frostee is just a ripoff of Wendy’s.

John Difool

The entire Cards defense is black….. or as they call it in New England “0 Grit Sandpaper”

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

I’m surprised it’s not “Sandni**er”.

JustStopDude
Sill Bimmons

Are you a numismatist hobbyist?

JustStopDude

Only in the nude.

Sill Bimmons

IMMA ONE GAP PENETRATOR

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

-Warren Sapp

Sill Bimmons

NO JUST ME

Martin

ELITE SACK

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Joe Flacco? More like Joe Sack-o, amirite?

King Hippo

fucker added a point for the kicker I’m fading

Martin

The Honey Badger is the dumbest fucking nickname.

Stabby Pants

Eugene Monroe: Disinterested Bystander.

hippofant

Is Belichik laughing his ass off at home right now?

King Hippo

demonically

JustStopDude

Only if that hooker he pays is stomping puppies to death in front of him.

Its really the only way he can show emotions at this point.

Martin

That was because I assume most of you missed the Content post.

JustStopDude

“Offensive Penalty on number 89…too scary and intense for this league”

Doktor Zymm

So, except for a piece of broken glass (thanks previous homeowners!) the filter basket is pretty clean. Time to delve deeper. At least this clog explains why the dishwasher has smelled kinda funky since I moved in.

Sill Bimmons

The dishwasher should generate enough heat to kill any funk if it is functioning properly.

You need to get someone to service your dishwasher.

Doktor Zymm

It’s new from Februrary, I’m really wondering what the previous owners were washing in there to mess it up so much in 5 months.

entropy

You have a funked up dishwasher and just bought an ice maker that makes 26 lbs of ice per day, for “some unknown reason.”

I’m calling bullshit, just come clean on your serial killing and we’ll help you with the best method for removing clogged grey matter from the plumbing.

Sill Bimmons

Best not to think about it.

WhyEaglesWhy

This sounds like what happened to my dishwasher. Check the pipe underneath the sink. Just turn off the water and unhook that plastic pipe and feel around for gunk.

Martin

/Doktor Zymm falls into Super Mario Land

King Hippo

I call War-Luigi!

makeitsnowondem

The Ravens are prepared to expend every trick play they’ve got to win one game.

JustStopDude

Not both of them?!?!

blordinaryfagicmox

I would not be even a LITTLE surprised if someone had that offensive lineman on their team in Sill’s League of Extraordinary Insanity

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The only offensive lineman worth drafting in that league is Barrett Robbins.

blordinaryfagicmox

When he gets downfield to block for Hank Baskett the results are… delicious.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I think I had more than 1 player out this week and everyone else on a bye. I wish I had picked him up

Martin
Sill Bimmons
Stabby Pants

THIS GUY IS GOOD AT MATH.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

– Someone who never tried to tutor Vince Young

Stabby Pants

Who’d have though stocking your receiving corp with undrafted FA’s and practice squad cuts wouldn’t result in the best quality.

WCS

Gregggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg doesn’t understand.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I want Baltimore to put up 50 points just so I don’t feel like a schmuck for getting too cute and starting New England’s defense over Arizona’s.

John Difool

There will probably be more Rocky movies starring Sylvester Stallone after I’m long dead …. and I was 5 years od when the first one came out.

King Hippo

oh they will hologram his ass for future generations of “oppressed” whitey

John Difool

I wanna see a Taken\Rocky crossover.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

When I saw the “No Hitter” I immediately assumed this was a Brian Russell coin.

litre_cola

They just don’t like Germans

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

wuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. Guess who has no tasted in food?

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

*taste

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Change just one letter in the title of that “Creed” movie and they could market it as the Dan Snyder story.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace
JustStopDude

“Sreed”?

JustStopDude

AW SHIT! ROCKY IS BACK!!! ITS ALL NEW ALL OVER AGAIN!!!!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

There is no reason to be sarcastic, it is only the 7th sequel

WCS

I was led to believe this was Adrian’s Revenge…

entropy

I think that when your advertising highlight is the shape of your bottle, your beer brand is in trouble.

Sill Bimmons