Your “At Least It’s Not Titans/Jags On Thursday” Monday Night Thread

Hou @ Cin: Coach O’Brien of the Texans admitted to his team that benching Hoyer after the first game of the season was a mistake. If only more “leaders of men” were so forthcoming. At 3-5 Houston (who?) is a half-game out of first and one game removed from last in the AFC Harrison Bergeron Division. One guy that ain’t care about any of this “This team sucks!” or “Who’s the QB this week?” business is WR Hopkins and his 870 yards and 6 TD’s. What I want to know is-where is his sideline tantrum? Where is the mid-week DUI? When does he bang a porn star and prove it on Instagram? I’m not sure if I can regard the fella as a superstar until he steps up to the plate and starts acting like one. Kudos to all you fantasy bums that grabbed TE Eifert off the waiver wire. Aren’t you the smartest bunny rabbits in the briar patch! The Bengals are 8-0 for the first time ever and 9 straight looks like a slam dunk. And yet this game has all the sex appeal of the corpse of Bea Arthur performing a ‘naughty’ burlesque number. Go figure-because the NFL hasn’t bothered to.

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Brick Meathook
King Hippo

extra protein!

makeitsnowondem

NOPE

John Difool

Does the five second rule apply to roaches too?

Spanky Datass

This really raises the bar on the old “hole in the bottom of the popcorn bucket” gag.

Col. Duke LaCross

Ditka is a doddering old man with a tenuous grasp on his mental faculties, but he may be on to something with these MacDonalds ads. He seems to have managed to curse the Packers!

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Pacman can’t handle responsibilty? Quelle suprise

Sill Bimmons

Mr Pac-Man…he dead.

King Hippo

shouldn’t have got greedy and went for that 4th ghost ,, smgdh

King Hippo

gettin’ frisky in Hoyer country!

Sill Bimmons

curse you

Col. Duke LaCross

It came with the frame…

Spanky Datass

Gingdor?

John Difool

More like Shorts got wedgied

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

WARNING: Catching Hoyer passes may be hazardous to your health.

Col. Duke LaCross

Chuh chuh

Spur

Hackenburg is going to ruin the Texans for the next 3 years.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Motherfucker acts like he forgot about Dre

Redshirt

I love listening to the radio broadcast of a NFL game. The FM Station is broadcasting Super Bowl LXI. The AM Station is broadcasting the 1968 AFL Championship Game.

Sill Bimmons

The FM Station is broadcasting from the future!

Sill Bimmons

What can I say? I’m a literalist.

Sill Bimmons

/sigh

JustStopDude
Why Thank You Eddie

Is that another Carr baby?

King Hippo

oh you motherfucker

Sharkbait

Thanks for ruining bananas for me.

theeWeeBabySeamus

At first I was grossed out. Then I realized I’d never eat a banana that looked that to begin with so….no worries.

King Hippo

Oh, the Case Keenum Rams should dominate Red Zone next week. BUHLEE DAT!!

Brick Meathook

Yes, nothing captures a perfect moment like a photo, unless you kind find a really fast oil painter.

King Hippo

The lead insurmountable, redux

Doktor Zymm

You know, when it’s the off season I often think to myself ‘I sure do miss holding penalties on kicking plays’

Sill Bimmons

BLEERGH MISSES NO INFRACTION

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

When a flag takes points off the board, one of Bleergh’s dark spawn gets its fangs

Former C-G-U-O

If you could cross Andy Dalton with Rex Grossman, you’d either have the greatest quarterback of all time, or an uncurable disease.

King Hippo

Little column A, little column B

Why Thank You Eddie

Dalton Rex? Dalton Rex. Yes, I like it.

Mother Puncher
Doktor Zymm

Wasn’t that what the movie ‘rosemary’s baby’ was about? Mysterious pregnancy with no soul?

Spur

Texans draft a corner or pass rusher with their 1st round draft pick this year?

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Punter. BILL O’BRIEN DEMANDS MOAR GRIT!

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Gruden: Merciless is without mercy. How do ya like that??
Me and my brother: http://media.giphy.com/media/WrxoaVPiq0cG4/giphy.gif

Why Thank You Eddie

So are we going to wake Rob Ryan tonight or just wait for Sexy Friday?

Doktor Zymm

I’m failing at vacation. While I did have some very tasty afternoon beers with lunch, I forgot that other places don’t just sell beer everywhere, and have returned to my hotel room to watch…who are these people on the field with the Bengals? The Longhorns or something? Anyway, the point is I have snacks but no booze.

Sill Bimmons

Join the club!

Brick Meathook

Are you in Utah or something?

King Hippo

I have booze but no snacks. WEIRD!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Booze and later…French bread pizza.
Yeah, baby.

Why Thank You Eddie

Good lord. Just go down to the hotel store and get some cold medicine. This will teach you to plan ahead.

entropy

You are not doing well in the game of Vacation. You obviously need some sort of primer. Might I suggest reading Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas as a baseline?

King Hippo

As your attorney…

Doktor Zymm

Eh, I’m just lazy. There are any number of bars I could have stopped in on the walk back, but meh, pants.

entropy

Understood. I hate it when the owners of a bar are all, “where are your pants, entropy” and “please don’t pee on the floor entropy” and “for the love of God put down the knife entropy.”

Former C-G-U-O

Did I just wake up from a coma, or is Jennifer Lopez really 60 years old now?

John Difool

Tell me you still wouldn’t hit it.

King Hippo

I still think of the Cartman version.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Taco flavored kisses

Sharkbait

Oh hey American Music Awards!

http://i.imgur.com/9T1kgIr.gif

King Hippo

Shit like that is why the kids have a nice big TV in the basement that they are encouraged to use.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Can ya put parental controls on those things yet? Allowing such viewing is just this side of child abuse.

Brick Meathook

SHE NEVER KILLED THE BULL

Sill Bimmons

i like cheese.

King Hippo

HEY, THAT GODDAMNED PUNT WAS SO FUN LET’S GODDAMNED DO IT AGAIN!!

Defensive Back Mike Wallace
King Hippo

It is pleasing, it is good.

The Maestro

The Boondocks was so fucking good. Man oh man.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Even Bleergh is bored…

Why Thank You Eddie

/door from 5th dimension flies open
Good evening gents.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Sparkles!

Why Thank You Eddie

That sunuvabitch owes me money. I got sparkles for him alright.

Spur

That is some solid penetration there

JustStopDude

That reminds me…I gotta call my mother up and wish her a happy birthday…

JustStopDude

I’ve always hated Cincinnati. Last time I was there, I got herpes.

I think from that crap they call chili…

Former C-G-U-O

we gon drank

Sill Bimmons

WAKAWAKAWAKAWAKAWAKA

King Hippo

HEY, ANOTHER GODDAMNED PUNT!!

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

/pours one out for VMB

King Hippo

I am trying to watch UVA/GW at the commercial breaks, but I’m murder-y enough without listening to Jim Fucking Calhoun.

JustStopDude

How’s it going ladies?!?

Greetings from the Dirty D.

Spent all day wondering how I work for my current employer. Learned that my management doesn’t understand the difference between 3 phase and single phase AC. Lots of fun wiring…

Brick Meathook

THREE PHASE IS THREE TIMES BETTER

JustStopDude

Only the sqrt(3) times better…

makeitsnowondem

The worst thing about Fallout 4 so far is that “The Wanderer” doesn’t actually seem to be on the soundtrack.

Sharkbait

It’s there.

makeitsnowondem

What station are you finding it on?

Sharkbait

Diamond City.

makeitsnowondem

For real? I’m just getting the songs from Fallout 3 over and over.

Sharkbait

Didnt play 3, so Im not sure what is on there, but I’ve heard the wanderer a few times. Mostly I listen to the classical station and wait for Wagner to come on.

Also on Xbox so not sure if that makes a difference.

makeitsnowondem

That wouldn’t be the difference; I’m on the Xbox too. I guess I’ll just have to keep an ear out. Thanks for letting me know though!

Mother Puncher

It’s weird to think that most Titans fans are redneck dipshits.

Sill Bimmons

I hate that ad.

The Maestro

I’ve been watching hockey simultaneously with this game, and something tells me I’m gonna be sticking with hockey for a while yet.

Former C-G-U-O

Then the terrorists have already won.

Sill Bimmons
King Hippo

KIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Brick Meathook

I’m wondering if there will be any Pey-Pey Nationwide commercials after yesterday. That had Gruden doing it (including singing that stupid jingle) during the pre-game.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Throw-in’ worse than Al-ex Smiiiiiiiiith

King Hippo

goddamnit

/is accurate

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Unlike Peyton

King Hippo

Now you are just rubbing it in and making me angry drink ,, smgdh

entropy

Losing my endorsement deals

Sill Bimmons

Not gon’ be in ads no more

Sill Bimmons

Red Leader standing by:

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blaxabbath

I’m not watching this game.

comment image

King Hippo

This game is gonna be super punt-y isn’t it?

Defensive Back Mike Wallace
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Shane Lechler: Still in the league

Sill Bimmons

WAKAWAKAWAKAWAKA