Let’s not regard this game tonight as the end of week whateveritis but see it for what it could be. This, this my friends is the beginning of a long, glorious week of sport-making that could cause the most loyal and understanding of significant others to say, “You’re watching sports AGAIN?”. Whatever you want you’ll get it. NFL Football? Natch. European football? Got it. Hockey? Got it. College AND NBA basketball? Got it. Something that is not-Baseball? YOU ARE COVERED. It’s a perfect ksunami (I prefer the silent “k”) of wonderfulness that is rarely equalled. Think back to the last week of July…..it was a living nightmare wasn’t it? Now fast-forward to today. This future’s so goddamn bright I’ve gotta throw shade. So watch that Cavs game tonight. Take in the Rangers. Check out the Spurs. I’m going to grab a piece of the LSU/Marquette tilt ce soir so that I can see with my own two eye-holes what the big fuss is about with this Ben Simmons kid. Don’t fight it. Just let the myriad sports options wash over you and bathe in their luxurious, soapy…umm, gotta go!
Buf @ NE: There are two scenarios here. 1. It’s a blow-out right out of the gate, like Secretariat at Belmont-level. 2. Rex comes up with a great game plan, hangs with the P*ts and goes in tied or slightly ahead at half-time. The problem is the damn mother-lover that coaches the home team will make the necessary adjustments and Rex will spend the second half looking up at the Jumbotron and thinking, “Huh, well that’s not working any more”. After the two touchdown loss he’ll wander into the press conference and talk about “key errors”, “lousy execution” and “he out-coaches me every time because my in-game defensive changes suck balls”. Happens every time.
LOL HAHA. Even when the Pats fuck up, the Bills still get fucked. I love football.
This is why we hate you.
When cultures clash.
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Gents and Zymm, just landed at O’Hare. Where’s the blowout?
Soon.
It’s just getting started, gathering steam I assume.
so unhappy
It’s amazing how people the [*Redacted] s cut from their secondary go on to do better on other teams.
I feel the same way about every Jets receiver who leaves.
It’s almost like the teams have systematic issues that lead to certain players failing to play up to their full potential….
You and your logic. I just prefer to call them underachieving bastards with no loyalty.
This game is so fucking horrible already…
…then WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?
Nope, stayed horrible.
Oh man, too bad that flag’s on the Bills.
Do. Not. Want.
A penalty against New England?!
WAH?
HAHAHA TOM BRADY CALLED A “REX RYAN” AUDIBLE
And it was a run. “Taking to the feet” if you will.
Did they change some of the band members or something?
http://40.media.tumblr.com/ee72259d27a610ac8889d66907deae64/tumblr_nog6v5rQDH1qjqmkdo1_1280.jpg
Noel Gallagher looks great!
This is mandatory reading: http://www.gq-magazine.co.uk/men-of-the-year/home/winners-2013/icon-noel-gallagher
Tequila Supernova?
“Not one of those men is a desert island.”
-John Donne
bigger than Los Lobos?
Gotta love a Bills 3-and-out to get things started. However, i don’t what to do if this keeps going on all game. My penis can only get so erect…
Be prepared to call your doctor; it’s gonna be a steady four hours.
The Ice Titans powerplay lasted longer than that possession.
Is a 0-0 score an insurmountable lead?
If Mayo has kids he should name one of them “Aioli”
That’s a middle name.
First names: Rosemary, Saffron, Sage, Thyme, Marjoram, &tc…
Mango Chuntey Aioli Mayo the Third
HOLD THE MAYO GODAMMIT AT LEAST YOU SAVE THE DOWN
KEEP DOING THAT BILLS
Tyrod Taylor wanted to follow Mike Vick to college? Seems like a solid plan. What could go wrong?
O/U for non-called Gronk offensive pass interferences tonight?
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Watch a blow out or read Terry Pratchett? Hmmmm.
One can be done outside the time frame of the other.
Ook?
Oooh, there’s never a bad time to read Pratchett. Though you can keep the game on in the background in case something interesting happens, like Grumblelord morphing into an actual troll.
Which Pratchett? If it’s The Long Earth series, they’re a bit of a slog for me (something about the mixture between Baxter & Pratchett drags the fun out of it), but if it’s Discworld, go forth.
I’m early in on Discworld.
Man, you are in for some fun reads, and you get to see him grow into the great writer he becomes toward the end of the series. Also, spare a moment for Good Omens, his collaboration with a then-little-known Neil Gaiman. It’s wonderful.
You gonna go full Prachett?
You can always go full Pratchett.
What are we drinking folks?
Ballast Point Grapefruit Sculpin here.
I’m deluding myself that the grapefruit makes it healthy!
Eagle Rare on the rocks.
Oh an he fancy!
Rum, ginger beer, lime on the rocks.
Eggnog and Appleton now, pure Appleton later.
Who is this person and why is she on my television?
A former senator’s daughter. She won’t go away.
Because bewbz, probably.
You’re not an up and coming country music star Ayla. Your dad was a senator. That’s why you’re a thing.
http://cdn.meme.am/instances/500x/58472744.jpg
One of us should break into the Patriots locker room and replace Brady’s PEDs with female hormone pills.
http://www.freakingnews.com/pictures/91000/Tom-Brady-Gay-Football-Player–91386.jpg
Welp, my penis is now officially only for show.
WOULD BANG!!
PROGESTERONE HO
Thai Football League?
Nice!
WOOHOO TIME FOR ME TO DRINK IN ALL YOUR TEARS TONIGHT. YOUR SADNESS GIVES ME SUSTENANCE.
Oh, sorry. Stupid autocorrect. What’s up, guys?
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Bonus points for actually finding a Far Side comic online.
Bloom County is back, all I need now is for someone to find Bill Waterson and have him bring bacl Calvin & Hobbes, and then throw buckets of money at Larson to bring back The Far Side, and I will be a happy happy entropy indeed.
All I need is for Gronk to disappear into a black hole at some point early in the 1st quarter and it’s Win City, for me babee!
Artist rendering:
http://www.addisonrecorder.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/tumblr_lp6ci1Ofmc1qapfvgo7_400.gif
“Necessary adjustments” meaning transcripts of the Bills’s first-half playcalls….
“Necessary Adjustments” = “repositioning the cameras recording the opposing team’s bench”
What are the chances of another catastrophic QB knee injury this week?
PleasebeBradypleasebeBradypleasebeBradyPleasebeBradypleasebeBradypleasebeBradyPleasebeBradypleasebeBradypleasebeBradyPleasebeBradypleasebeBradypleasebeBradyPleasebeBradypleasebeBradypleasebeBradyPleasebeBradypleasebeBradypleasebeBrady
For Brady? The chances are not good enough
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I havent watched a MNF intro in a long time. They actually put in the fail mary in the opening?
They had it last year too. Never understood why they would be proud of that moment enough to feature it.
Wait til the put the Buttfumble in there. Then we’ll know for sure the NFL has been trolling us for years.
This seems like a game that would be better with Thai food. Actually, that’s probably most games.
Thai is the only food genre that all three kids and I can ever agree on. Sushi Thai in Cary is thusly the universal birthday dinner locale.
I’m not sure I’ve ever met someone who didn’t like Thai food. Such a person would be an odd one.
But we are an odd bunch. 3 of the 4 won’t eat cheese on our pizza. Only I will eat fish. And that’s the tip of the iceberg.
What the fuck? No cheese on pizza? What kind of monsters have you raised?
Can’t eat it. Peanuts allergy. Prefer to live while I can, even if it means missing out on Thai.
There is non-peanut containing Thai food, but it’s probably not worth the risk of cross-contamination.
Expect by the time “Fargo” comes on, the Cheatriots will have out the game in the W column.
Ice Jints 1 Ict Titans 0.
Starting with his last game I’ve taken a drink every time Rick Nash has scored. I will happily accept Rick Nash induced alcohol poisoning.
Mike Milliigan reciting “The Jabberwock” FTW
This season has been incredible.
The fuck is an “Ice Titan”?
Sort of like a Norse Frost Giant, only Greek?
Currently second in the Insanity League, and already won this week. First-place Balls has already lost. I wholly expect to drop to 7th this week, because Insanity League.
That movie is pure joy.
“Say, any of you boys smithies? Or, if not smithies per se, were you otherwise trained in the metallurgic arts before straitened circumstances forced you into a life of aimless wanderin’?”
I’m the pater familias!
Well, ain’t this place a geographical oddity! Two weeks from everywhere!
I don’t want Fop, I’m a Dapper Dan man!
You slump-shouldered sack a nuts! We caint get our own midget now, looking like a buncha Johnny come latencies! Don’t matter how stumpy!
God I love this site.
Soon I will explain the insanity league.
Oh yeah, midway through the 4 PM games yesterday, a buddy came by and after watching five minutes of football we went to YouTube channel binge drinking. By 6:30, he introduced me to the “Love on the Rocks” Drinking game.
Boils down to you have to start and finish a beer during Neil Diamond’s Love on the Rocks, but you can only drink while Neil’s not singing, and after the first round, you have to sing along.
It got ugly quickly.
Ice Giants 0-0 Ice Titans
Patriots welcome the WWL to Foxboro. I’m hoping for a “Morts a liar!” Chant this evening, on par with the “Where is Roger?” from week 1.
GOOOOOOAAAAAAAALLLLLLL, Sunderland!!!
Hope for the semi-shitty Bills?
/probably more for the uber-shitty Sun Devils
WVU 45 Bethune-Cookman 22 halftime
Huggy is an entirely underrated interview.
The King of Track Suits. He ain’t care.
Everything we accept as fact is the result of a formerly accepted fact having been proven wrong.
It all comes back to It’s Always Sunny.
It’s like a live action Simpsons for after the Simpsons died.
I bought a large amount of eggnog and a notsmall amount of rum.
The holidays begin here and now, calendar be damned.
I’ve been thinking of making my own eggnog this year. Yummy stuff.
I can only handle one glass ’cause of the sweetness but that first drink is heaven imbibe-ified.
Damn Eggnog sounds good right now.
amen bro
I started on Friday with Wawa Eggnog. If you’ve ever had it, you know it is wonderful. And if you throw some whiskey or rum or really ANYTHING into it, it’s even better.
I would also accept brandy.
Agreed, but I enjoy my whiskey, and am willing to accept multiple delivery systems for it.
If anyone ever claims that there is a better Eggnog than Wawa Eggnog I will join you in throwing batteries at them until they relent or die.
Cool! And I can throw really heavy batteries really far, so it shouldn’t take up too much of our day.
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So this Simmons kid is headed to the Sixers for sure. He can kinda do anything he wants.
Except not go to the Sixers.
I know less about the NBA than I do astrophysics, but isn’t going to the Sixers like winning a vacation to Lebanon?
I don’t know, with the Sixers you get all the charm of a bombed-out hellhole without having to actually, y’know, dodge bombs. Or be expected to win ANYTHING.
I hear this Bimmons kid has a real future in blogging and Boliviano futures!
http://www.boliviabella.com/images/bolivia_facts_money_currency_50bs_front.jpg
hey guys
Greetings.
sup
http://40.media.tumblr.com/5d52753c131546fe4b121f713df94745/tumblr_nyal94RpoR1syvjuco1_500.jpg
yo
all i have is salt and vinegar almonds
Salutations.
I’m probably gonna watch the first quarter, and if it sucks monkey nuts I’ll go back to building my lighting fixture. I got the basic part done already, and I’ll make the shade tomorrow when the leather shows up and then I can install it next weekend. Woohoo!
“Heeeeeyyyyyyy! A little respect would be nice.”
-Monkeys
NC State fans need to be like AA sponsors for Arizona State hoops fans. Let them know there can be at least occasional joy again, now that HWSNBN (our acronym for Herb Sendek – aka He Who Shall Not Be Named) is gone.
Then again, there really aren’t any ASU hoops fans, which explains how HWSNBN survived his desert exile as long as he did.
Also, am watching DVR of Crystal Palace/Sunderland as my pre-game. NO SPOILERS!!!
SPOILER: Balls are kicked.
Not many goalward, though. He holds it. HE HOLDS IT!!
WVU-Bethune Cookman tip-off comin’ right up!
That’s as sad as me watching Cuse/Elon. Well done!
The sports editorialist was unusually blunt to Bengals fans in today’s paper, and yes, I do still read the newspaper.
http://mlpforums.com/uploads/post_images/img-457482-4-6361_7685_500.png
So do I! Even though the price keeps going up and they waste too much ink on Dook and the Holes…it’s nice to have hard copy news to shit to.
By the time Satan’s minions are up 3 scores, NC State and Arizona State will tip off on ESPN3!