Your Thanksgiving Game, Part 1 Open Thread

As I sit here at my Canada-centric desk, high in my ivory tower looking over the sweaty masses I wonder to myself, “Stomach flu?”, Allergic reaction?”, “Suppurating chest wound?”, maybe….”Penis cancer?”. What should be my go-to get-outta-here excuse? Or should I just be honest and take the inevitable harassment I’ll get for leaving early to watch “fartball”? Real mature guys. Now drop and give me a twenty. Two tens is also acceptable, whatever. It’s either that or I take it out of your paycheque. Sometimes they can be sooo childish. [walks to window, sticks tongue out] Only “we”, the DFO commentists can make fun of the ball that is footed. They haven’t earned the right yet. Savages.

Phi @ Det: I’m not going to break down this game because it’s broken already. There is a rumour floating about that a certain Sanchez will be quarterbacking a certain team today. But judging by Martha Ford’s erect nipples, (wear a bra for god sake, grandma!) the Lions are up for this one.

Let’s do this!

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
358 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Doktor Zymm

Spanky Datass

Well that fucked up.

theeWeeBabySeamus

FOX NFL from Pearl Harbor.
I’m speakless.

Hey, remember when the Brady Bunch went to Hawaii and Greg fucked up surfing and shit. And everybody blamed a little tiki or whatever. And Vincent Price was hiding in a cave or whatever?

Wow…I’m old.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I think I’m in need of therapy.
Every time I see Johnny Depp I just want to punch him in the vagina.

King Hippo

One of the voices in my head said I needed to start Funchess again, and I flipped a coin to confirm that, yes, I should. Can wait until later to decide if the last starter should be James Jones, Crabtree, or Diggs.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Ron Funchess?

Sill Bimmons

o hai erin

WCS

Clearly, the Lions need more Jim Bob Cooter.

King Hippo

Don’t we all, deep down?

Don T

/lauging tearful emoji x 4

Beerguyrob

Enjoy your meals, brothers & sisters.

http://animalfair.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/thanksgivingdog.jpg

Time for the cold pizza lunch I made for myself. Three meats & mushrooms; homemade sauce; three cheeses. It seems to have congealed well from last night.

Doktor Zymm

I am waaaay too full. I have achieved Thanksgiving.

blackroseMD1

Well, time to go eat disgusting amounts of food.

Enjoy your comas, commentariat.

Spur

BLM protesting crap?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Wow, I nearly just freaked out.
Popped over the to the local CBS affiliate to check on the pre-game for Panthers/’Boys, and fricking Dr. Phil was on. Scared the shit outta me.
Seriously Hippo…pop over and see.

And WTF CBS????

King Hippo

yup, I flipped just now to get the right channel on the remote. LMAO, you weird WRAL. I’m surprised it isn;t Andy Griffith re-runs, that’s their go-to material.

As a city-raised North Carolinian who speaks (mostly) proper English and has always used indoor plumbling, I GODDAMNED HATE THE ANDY GRIFFITH SHOW.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Agreed.

Though I’m not above making a run at Helen Crump. Too bad she’s prolly dead.

blackroseMD1

Megatron is gonna help me get back to .500 in my paid league. Thankfully, my entire division is basically a dumpster fire, much like the AFC South.

http://i.imgur.com/4NunKWR.png

King Hippo

I have a tough matchup (i’m 8-3, other division leader is 9-2) in the make it snow DFO 20-team league, and Megatron has me a nice 31.3-3.8 lead there (over Ebron). We’uns is 1-2 in total pts, me being 1.

Cam is also my QB.

blackroseMD1

Cam has been a pretty nice surprise this year, fantasy wise. Glad I was able to draft him pretty late.

WCS

I have two cats and a dog, and all three are rescues. I’VE DONE MY PART, COMMERCIAL. LEAVE WCS ALONE!

King Hippo

Yes indeed, the entire OBD “Return to the 36 Chambers” album is a good soundtrack to Iggles herp and derp.

Christ, am I ever a stereotypical white dude in his 40s.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Good thing this one’s not in Philly. Santa Claus would be taking batteries to the head right about now.

blackroseMD1

“The Galloping Gobbler” sounds like a sexual predator.

Don T

Centaur for terror; headless for comedy.

laserguru

If you’re an Eagles fan you have permission to switch to the brown liquor.

Stat.

John Difool

You mean switch to heroin, Philadelphian’s usually start with brown liquor and then switch to brown drugs.

Beerguyrob

Or whatever they can scrape off the ground behind the Wawa.

Sill Bimmons

My brother-in-law, Eagles fan, just said “This is the Tequila Coma level.”

Doktor Zymm

You may think you’re in a coma, but in my experience that isn’t what happens when you consume too much tequila.

Beerguyrob

We might be seeing this again real soon.
comment image

Sill Bimmons

Chip Kelly is George Lucas.

When he has a limited role and some oversight, the results are pretty spectacular.

When he’s left to his own colossal stupidity he fucks things up in an historic fashion.

Doktor Zymm

Hey, NFL. How about a mercy rule?

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

THERE IS NO MERCY IN THIS DOJO!!

Beerguyrob

Whose leg is left to be swept?

laserguru

Hey look!

Giada at home is on the Food Network.

King Hippo

theeWeeBabySeamus

Abu’s new theme musak, no?

Doktor Zymm

Why do I not make olive oil gelato more often? Easy and delicious.

Note to self, buy new pants, larger size.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Gotta tell ya, that doesn’t sound as appetizing as you claim.

theeWeeBabySeamus

The last time someone got killed this thoroughly in Detroit, Jack Kevorkian was at the controls.

laserguru

Or it could have been in an Elmore Leonard novel.

Don T

Football Is Family? Yeah, nothing screams kinship like a practice squad.

King Hippo

That really is something one should utilize when you get above like, 5 kids.

blackroseMD1

I think we’ve figured out Philip Rivers’ plan.

King Hippo

INSUFFICIENT ROSARY ENTHUSIASM, TO THE PRACTICE SQUAD VEHICLE!!!

Spur

Please do an onside kick Lions.

Sill Bimmons

At least it wasn’t a passing touchdown.

Don T

That was a bullshit call.

King Hippo

Agreed. The refs looked at each other like “who gives a shit anyway, if we say he’s in, they will review and we will be stuck in Detroit longer.”

King Hippo

I mean, one can never be out of an insanity league matchup, amirite??

entropy

Holy shit my youngest nephew was being held by my sister and everyone was messing with him. He goes directly from laughing to screaming “THIS IS THE WORST THANKSGIVING EVER!”

I am dying over here.

John Difool

Philadelphia getting cracked by a bell…..

Spur

Does this mean Jim Caldwell keeps his job?

Doktor Zymm

The Eagles are awful.

I’ve said this before, but they’re REALLY making an effort to prove me correct on national TV.

Beerguyrob

They’ve gone beyond that. Shaquille would call this “horrawful”.

King Hippo

TAINT, muthafuckas. It’s like they can’t hear me or somethin

blackroseMD1

Did you bang Jim Caldwell’s mom or something? It’s like they can hear you, and are just like “Fuck Hippo”.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Wow, why are the Lions still throwing?

King Hippo

I would assume everyone hates Chip as much as we do.

blackroseMD1

Was just typing almost the exact same thing.

King Hippo

It would be pretty awesome if Caldwell mooned him on live teevee

Spur

Cuz fuck the Eagles.

Beerguyrob

It’s the only chance this season Jim Caldwell & Matthew Stafford can say they actually rivaled the Patriots output.

laserguru

Yeah fuck it. It’s after noon.

Forward drink!

Spur

At least Philly has the Sixers to cheer for
http://i.imgur.com/Syuezv1.gif

King Hippo

Sad Dookie makes for a Happy Hippo

King Hippo

Now should be the time for check down throws to Tate on every play.

Spur

You think DeMarco Murray has tried to call Jerry Jones already?

John Difool

“YEEHAW, GOTDAM RIGHT HE HAS”

Senor Weaselo

All right, time to go. Merry Happy, everyone.

Sill Bimmons

A whole nother quarter of this:

comment image

John Difool

Charlie Sheen’s biography?

blaxabbath

I like the press angle that Jameis is a great QB and is turning TB around. The NFL is horrid this season, their SOS is a joke, and whoever pulls playing them in the playoffs (GB probably) will murder them.

blaxabbath

I avoided using the term ‘rape’ as I did not want to excite crabby leggys.

Beerguyrob

Kobe thanks you.

Spur

This Thanksgiving am thankful for our new home. Thanks to all the admin/staff here at DFO.

blaxabbath

Don’t let DTZM get lazy.