Your “What Night Is It Anyway?” NFC East Fiasco Open Thread

Was @ Phi: Over their last eight games the Eagles are doing the lousiness on D to an extent that is only surpassed by the Saints (of course). On t’udder side of the field Cousins is grasping for the Slurs QB throne with a 70% plus completion rating over the same period. Trouble is, them Washington folks have trouble winning when they have to take a stagecoach to a game. Folks, this is the NFC East’s homage to The Good, The Bad And The Ugly, all wrapped up in one debacle. Enjoy.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
entropy

Did the Slurs punter just make old-school video game controller motions to control the flight of the ball?

SonOfSpam

Eiither the Tulsa or Virginia Tech band is playing “Paranoid Android.” Respect.

Gratliff

Riverboat Jay!

Doktor Zymm

Kirk Cousins : Record number of dumpoffs to Jordan Reed.

Doktor Zymm

Damn, that is one mostly empty stadium

entropy

My god I loved this movie.

...

How would one “holiday half way?”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Titus Young spent Christmas in a halfway house; that probably counts.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Holitwelvehours?

...

Oh! Lighting only four Hanukkah candles. Duh.

entropy

Reading only parts of the Kwanza book.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So an Eagles win maximizes chaos, right?

Doktor Zymm

Yuuuuuuup

entropy

Yeah, but just think how much more fun we’d have with a well-placed meteor strike!

King Hippo

It also means they will flex a goddamned NFC East shitshow into SNF

entropy

Oh fuck Tim-a-toe already.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Sill Bimmons

Two Vampirella’s whats?

WHAT DID THE VAMPIRELLAS BRING TO THE COMIC ART CONVENTION THAT STUNNED THE 5500

Beastmode Ate My Baby

There’s a whole story behind all that, that I’ll share with you kids someday if’n yer good.

Gratliff

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Sill Bimmons

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Zach Ertz!

Zach Ertz who?

I just nailed my scrotum to the table so my Zach Ertz!

Spanky Datass

A perfect prep for this game. Just hope your tetanus is up to date.

Recovery Whiskey

Hey folks.

A few years ago I remember them take RG III into a plywood shed on the sidelines. We called it the kill shed. My question is I don’t see it any more what was the story behind it and what did they do in there?

entropy

I haven’t seen a gunslinger as cross eyed as Sam Bradford since Jack Elam in Once Upon a Time in the West.

Sill Bimmons

OH THE PACE NARRATIVE PLEASE MOAR PACE NARRATIVE

Sill Bimmons

INTO THE MIASMA

Gratliff

I long for the glorious years of NFC East rivals sacrificing themselves at the altar of McNabb

Gratliff

FiveThirtyEight giving the Eagles a 65% chance. Odds are they give up 65 instead.

entropy

Old man’s still an artist with a Thompson.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Takes talent to paint a picture so real.

WCS

What is, “What will happen to Chip Kelly is the Iggles lose tonight?” I’ll take “Months That Begin with ‘Feb’ for $400.”

Sill Bimmons

In the company of Eagles fans tonight…

http://cdn.makeagif.com/media/5-21-2015/csDj6_.gif

entropy

My entire family is made up of Eagles fans. I am wisely away from them tonight, like they will wisely stay away from me during tomorrow’s Jets debacle.

Redshirt

Oh my God. I’M OUT OF ALCOHOL!!!

entropy

You fucked up, son.

Sill Bimmons

hey guys

WCS

woo go pens

entropy

Yo.

John Difool

Soup?

Sill Bimmons

Pancakes.

Spanky Datass

sup

Sill Bimmons

yo

...

I like trying to explain to my parents why a game on Saturday is called Thursday Night Football.

Redshirt

I like having to explain to my parents what happened in Episode VII after they just got finished watching it.

Redshirt

Wow. This game is so bad, the players have had their first name privileges revoked.

King Hippo

The Redacteds are totes the lesser evil tonight. And with Herr Chip in town, somehow even the least racialist choice.

Gratliff

Who the fuck are these people in the booth?

King Hippo

Trent Green was just wondering the same thing.

Gratliff

Holy shit, he can still talk. Last I saw, he appeared to be dead.

Doktor Zymm

Damn, soccer players flop harder than “The 13th Warrior”

entropy

Hey! You leave that movie alone!

Doktor Zymm

Never actually saw it, but it did lose a shitton of money.

entropy

True. But it was decent, and an interesting take on Beowulf. Plus it had a very cool scene at the end with them all reciting the death chant as the Grendel stand-ins attacked.

...

I would have also accepted “Heaven’s Gate” which actually seems like a good metaphor for some football teams.

entropy

Also, Heaven’s Prisoners, which gave us a naked Teri Hatcher but nothing else besides.

Seems like movies with “Heaven” in the title tend to bomb.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We also would have accepted “flop harder than the recent Steve Jobs movie”.

...

Or “flop harder than a naked running Liam Nesson.”

Gratliff

If nothing else, at least I have like 5 pounds of left over cheesecake to comfort me if things go south.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
John Difool

Deon Sanders just said Kirk Cousins was the new Sonny Jorgensen or Joe Theissman…going to slit my wrists now….

Just kidding, going to drink rubbing alcohol and maybe swallow a match.

Redshirt

Maybe Theissmann after the LT sack.

Doktor Zymm

If you’re gonna compare him to other QBs, the best I could say is that he’s like what would happen if you somehow managed to neuter Sexy Rexy.

Doktor Zymm

I’m going to open a bottle of red wine. It’ll go nicely with the blood after I claw my eyes out 15 minutes into this game.

Gratliff

Body bag game has a different connotation these days.

Redshirt

Saw “Batman Begins” on Channel Guide. Thought it would be nice to watch until game starts. Saw the end to “Batman & Robin”. Does anyone know how to remove a remote control from a TV screen?

entropy

Place foot on solid outer edge of TV. Grip Remote with two hands. Pull remote while pushing TV with foot. Step back, realize TV still broken, throw remote again. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Gratliff

At last, it’s time! Philly-Washington 2: The Mediocre-ing!
http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lo5sfn8Olp1qm3tl3o1_500.gif

laserguru

I’ve got UCLA and the Eagles on a two teamer.
I regret nothing.

Redshirt

I see the NFL are following the usual Saturday tradition of two semi-pro teams playing football.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Tonight’s ‘Thursday Night Football’ is neither on Thursday or at night* or football. Discuss.”

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*is actually at night.

...

There’s some debate, however, regarding the “football” part.

entropy

5:25 start on the West Coast. Can legally say “not at night.”

Doktor Zymm

Frickin’ NFL Network. Football should always be on major network TV, cause I said so.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
...

This is…

entropy

NEXTWave, Agents of HATE. Funniest god damn comic of all time. Those are the Drop Bears, Koalas of Death From Above.

Doktor Zymm

Drop Bears? Like in “The Last Continent?”
http://wiki.lspace.org/mediawiki/Drop_bear

entropy

Yup, two versions of the same thing.

John Difool

Thank God my package includes it…. or maybe I should curse God.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

PHRASING!

Col. Duke LaCross

Especially when I’m visiting my Dad’s place and he doesn’t have cable. I’m relying on you guys tonight.

Gratliff

I have no fucking idea what Michael Irvin just said

entropy

Making today different from any other day in what manner, exactly?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Wondering why none was WTF?ing my weird posts on the previous threads…. well, that’s embarrassing ….

http://49.media.tumblr.com/f3d7eb0d83e9eb3a45ea0e9e6791e3b0/tumblr_nzf96tFHjE1tbcweeo1_400.gif

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Football on tv tonight is so disorienting. On the bright side, finally saw Star Wars tonight and only 12 hours until we fly to Vegas so see you when my legs are broken!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Spectacular image selection, scotchnaut.

So…I figured something out today. You know how fitted sheets sometimes capture other clothes in the drier and you end up with a lump of wet clothes that didn’t get dried? I “tied off” the corners with elastic bands about four inches in from each corner, and nothing got stuck in the corners. I highly recommend this. Though maybe use twine or something other than elastic bands; they might melt or something.

laserguru

That’s brilliant actually.
One of my major laundry pet peeves most definitely.
I waited until today to do the laundry because doing laundry on Christmas just seemed sad as fuck.

Gratliff

WOO FUCK THE SLURS

Redshirt

Glissando or GTFO!!!

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John Difool

Riley Cooper’s e-mail to Dan Snyder suggesting a name change to the Washington Fire Water’s went strangely unanswered…

entropy

In the revenant, Tom Hardy calls the attacking tribe something suspiciously akin to “tree n*****s,” which was Cooper’s second choice.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The Squaws cheerleader name met much the same fate.

Redshirt

BLEERGH is alive and well in Yankee Stadium.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Fuck these squidfaced monkieshits

Beastmode Ate My Baby

YEAH!

Wait, which team are we talking about? Eh, either way…

YEAH!

entropy

Agreed! On BOTH sides of the ball!

King Hippo

Let’s go Redacteds! Truly, you are the team that deserves to represent this fetid division in the tournament.

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