Your Not Too Bad Looking Late Afternoon Slate Open Thread

Jax @ NO: If you’re a fan of invisible D’s have I got a game for you. Both of these teams have racked up a 50 spot this year. Over the last five games combined these teams have averaged 27 points per game. RB Yeldon is out so Denard Robinson goes once again. Pro Bowl snub WR Robinson, he of the 1100+ yds. and 13 TD’s just might go off today. Of course, I say that about any talented catcher of balls playing against the Saints secondary. QB Brees will play with a torn painter fascist (Gerardo Dottori?)-not sure how mobile he’ll be but I’m also not sure of how much pressure the Jags DL will be able to exert.

StL @ Sea: Who knew that QB Wilson would be able to back up his words with actions? Since wk.11 he’s been the best completion-, yards per attempt- TD- and QBR-wise. That’s some sagely play on his part. By far his most heroic feat though has been temporarily transforming WR Baldwin into something not resembling a regrettable draft pick. The Rams looked to be something early in the season but reality has a way of catching up to everyone. (Donald Trump excluded) DT Aaron Donald has been a force for the D throughout for the Rams and Wilson may want to keep an eye out lest he become another sack statistic.

GB @ Ari: The Pack do have 10 wins at this point but they have come at the expense of the Chargers, the Lions X2, the Cowboys, the 49ers and the Seahawks/Chiefs before they got their collective shit together. To be fair, they did beat the Broncs and Panthers though. By beat I mean not beat. Over the last 8 weeks the Cards have only been tested by the Vikes, Seahawks and Bengals. The old standby “playoff atmosphere” may be bandied about a fair bit during this game. You have been warned.

 

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fleshwound_NPG

What I love most about the Cardinals being this good is that it makes Jim Irsay look even MORE like the knob he is.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I want them to sack him three more times in a row.

Spur

No Comment
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
blaxabbath

“Copyright infringement!”

-John Elway

John Difool

He’s trying to limber up for New Years.

Horatio Cornblower

“We call ourselves the Open Water Paddlers. The best part of kayaking together is running a train on Jennifer here after we get done.”

blaxabbath

Is that a thing? I mean, she kinda looked like a slut but I didn’t want to say anything.

Horatio Cornblower

I hate all of those people so much I am willing to say truly horrible things about them.

My son even called Michelob’s 800 line to tell them how much that campaign sucked.

John Difool

I haven’t seen a Redding run over that much teal estate since the railroad…

Romonobyl

Is it available in any other colors?

John Difool

Any color you like…. as long as it’s auto-correct.

Recovery Whiskey

Judging by scores elsewhere looks like many of you will be joining our clam bake potlach soon. Welcome. Beers in the fridge.

Doktor Zymm
Doktor Zymm

Not the image I meant, but still works.

Recovery Whiskey

+1 Zoot

...

More ostrich-like: Glennon or Osweiler?

...

Er… giraffe-like.

Whatever.

Recovery Whiskey

Glennon easily

blaxabbath

“The Seahawks are the hottest team in the NFL and no one will want to face them in the playoffs!”

-Experts who don’t have Fox

Doktor Zymm

Wow. Rams. You are not good right now.

fleshwound_NPG

someone plz gif dat sad packer granny

Doktor Zymm

Giants/Vikings is the night game? I should drink more.

Horatio Cornblower

Giants/Vikings is the match-up that brought us the infamous yellow bar thread in the KSK days, so I have high hopes for tonight.

Doktor Zymm

That was fantastic. But not for the quality of football. And it does reinforce my idea of drinking more.

Horatio Cornblower

Whoever that Cardinal was who ran it in was so gassed he couldn’t do more than hop in celebration.

hippofant

How much do you think a defensive tackle enjoys running over a running back for a touchdown?

...

He milks the shit out of it at bars after the game to get laid.

Spur

I like how Fat Eddy got sent flying on that play.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I forgot how much I hate the Packers, and this game is doing a terrific job of reminding me. I’m really loving this.

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Hating the baseball Cardinals has distracted me from enjoying the football Cardinals dismantling a team that I need to hate.

Spur

FATMAN TOUCHDOWN! FATMAN TOUCHDOWN!!!

Horatio Cornblower

I will never get tired of this.

Rams D allowed a first down after a 3rd and 30+ without committing a penalty.

...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Oh this makes me happy.

fleshwound_NPG

FAT MAN TD

blaxabbath

That would have even been fun to watch if I wasn’t a Cardinals fan.

Doktor Zymm

Fun fact. I took synchronized swimming lessons for….maybe 3 or 4 months when I was about 8. I’m still really good at navigating myself while treading water on my back.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Romonobyl

Not exactly what Hitler had in mind…

Spur

God Rodgers is the whiniest fuck in the league. He is SO easy to hate. If you stay in bounds you’re gonna get hit.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Tom Brady would like a word.

90% of all receivers would also like a chat.

John Difool

“I haven’t seen Aaron get sacked this much since the last time he and Olivia visited Hollywood… and my mansion.”

-Charlie Sheen

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

YOU DON’T LIKE IT GO OUT OF BOUNDS, RODGERS YOU SISSY!

Horatio Cornblower

sounds like steam escaping.

blaxabbath

Microaggression! Microaggression!

Doktor Zymm

DAMN IT! RAM IT! NOT THIS SHIT IT!

Recovery Whiskey

3rd and 31, Hawks get 28. Going for it

Recovery Whiskey

And make it

blaxabbath

I believe the correct description of Rodgers is “prancing”.

Horatio Cornblower

“mincing”

Doktor Zymm

These penalties are HILARIOUS. Or, if I were a republican HILLARYOUS.

Spur

Rodgers got smoked

fleshwound_NPG

“:)”

– Aaron Rodgers

fleshwound_NPG

forgot to add to my joke “by another man because aaron is gay and likes to have sexual acts with men.”

Horatio Cornblower

Aaron Rodgers was the first guy to jump on a loose ball? There’s a shock.

fleshwound_NPG

Rodgers might die here.

blaxabbath

Damn. I haven’t seen Rodgers get hit that hard by a huge man since last night. In his bedroom.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You were there.

Shogun Marcus

You were watching why?
/no judgement

blaxabbath

I’ll try anything twice!

Horatio Cornblower

Dwight Freeney played for Bloomfield High School here in CT. They were ridiculously good at football. My son’s team beat them at baseball 24-5 this year. They are very bad at baseball. I don’t think we even schedule them in football for fear of what they’d do to our team.

John Difool

Is James Jones trying to give a shout out to Robin Hood or Peter fucking Pan or something? What’s up with the green hood?

...

I’m really liking this Packers-being-shitty thing.

Recovery Whiskey

Flags on the last four plays in Seattle StL

Go Barcodes!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Whenever Joe Buck says “penalty flag flies” I think of Beerghzebub, the Lord of the Penalty Flag Flies.

Wakezilla

Holy shit. There’s a movie on TV called Breakaway that’s about to start. It’s about a young man being torn between his traditional Indo-Canadian family expectations and his dreams of playing hockey. Rob Lowe and Russell Peeters are in it. And the wet blanket father from Bend it Like Beckham is in it as the Wet Blanket Father!

I think I might be changing the channel.

Sharkbait

Is this the Jordan Tootoo story by chance?

Wakezilla

Nah. It’s the Sikh Indians, not the Aboriginal ones.

Holy shit, the wet blanket father has the same dialogue, but replaced football with hockey. lol. This is incredible.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Breakaway sounds more like it would be a movie about roller blading.

Doktor Zymm

What does Russell Wilson do in YOUR book?

...

Anyone else hate the idea of Southwest’s no-assigned-seat-free-for-all?

Doktor Zymm

Have you never flown on a European discount airline? This shit ain’t new.

Recovery Whiskey

Air Lingus. Not even once

blaxabbath

I like it. I mean, compared to the alternative — which is pay like $75 to sit in a not-horrible seat.

Romonobyl

I’ve never had a problem:
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Horatio Cornblower

That guy should have to buy his own plane.

blaxabbath

Banner candidate!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

No, because I can get into the C group and sit next to the hottest woman on the plane.

So Cards are an elite team, do the networks even notice?

Sharkbait

Theyre the Texans of the NFC

blaxabbath

“I am an expert on the Cardinals!”

-Peter King

King Hippo

Not to spoil Hippo Thoughts, but they’re the ONLY elite team in the NFL, methinks.

Spur

Where were you when the Green Bay Packers died?

Shogun Marcus

We been dead a while now. Post mortem twitching.

Brocky

something something 1968-1992

Doktor Zymm

Bye, bye, Mrs. American Cheese, took the Chevy to the levy then, ate some more cheese.

Doktor Zymm

Got some chest pains, and ate some chives, the day…the Packers died.

blaxabbath

And so the Clay Matthews Not Being A Gentleman Curse Continues!

John Difool

LOL Starks

Romonobyl

Peyton Manning has dibs on the extra cartilage.

Spur

I feel like the Seahawks are keeping Jeff Fisher employed.

JustStopDude

Fucking hell…parents decide…its time to take down the fucking tree.

Mom “Okay JustStopDude…drag the tree out to the front yard for the trash”

Me “Um…Mom…you know how I can’t walk right now cause my back is killing me? I really can’t be messing around with this”

Sister “Mom…you know he messed up his back fucking that whore you hate”

Me “Hey sis…how is the third divorce going?”

This pretty much ended with all of us screaming at each other, while I crawled and dragged this fucking tree out to the front yard, lit a cig, and set the fucking thing on fire.

Oh and my old man sat in the corner eating a salted ham, ignoring the utter fucking shitshow going on.

My old man is smarter than all of us…

Sharkbait

Can you wear a gopro next year? I feel like this needs to be live streamed.

JustStopDude

One of the first things I learned as a child was to NEVER have a camera going on around you.

Fucks you ever time in court.

Wakezilla

Should have told your mom that the 12 days of Christmas doesn’t end until January 5th

Horatio Cornblower

If you don’t live there, get in your car and leave.

If you do live there, move out.

JustStopDude

I don’t…but its like a 7 hour drive back to where I live with traffic and right now my back is so fucked up I cannot feel my feet. I literally can’t drive until this shit gets better. So I am stuck for a few days.

...

For your sake, I hope you only see these people a couple time per year.

Horatio Cornblower

Where are you? I feel like one of us should show up, drive you to a bar and kick your sister in the ovaries.

blaxabbath

#FootballIsFamily

JustStopDude

#MurderSuicide

Doktor Zymm

Dude, just say “tree stays up till New Year’

Doktor Zymm

Use the internet to back you up. “Everyone does it”