Your Not Too Bad Looking Late Afternoon Slate Open Thread

Jax @ NO: If you’re a fan of invisible D’s have I got a game for you. Both of these teams have racked up a 50 spot this year. Over the last five games combined these teams have averaged 27 points per game. RB Yeldon is out so Denard Robinson goes once again. Pro Bowl snub WR Robinson, he of the 1100+ yds. and 13 TD’s just might go off today. Of course, I say that about any talented catcher of balls playing against the Saints secondary. QB Brees will play with a torn painter fascist (Gerardo Dottori?)-not sure how mobile he’ll be but I’m also not sure of how much pressure the Jags DL will be able to exert.

StL @ Sea: Who knew that QB Wilson would be able to back up his words with actions? Since wk.11 he’s been the best completion-, yards per attempt- TD- and QBR-wise. That’s some sagely play on his part. By far his most heroic feat though has been temporarily transforming WR Baldwin into something not resembling a regrettable draft pick. The Rams looked to be something early in the season but reality has a way of catching up to everyone. (Donald Trump excluded) DT Aaron Donald has been a force for the D throughout for the Rams and Wilson may want to keep an eye out lest he become another sack statistic.

GB @ Ari: The Pack do have 10 wins at this point but they have come at the expense of the Chargers, the Lions X2, the Cowboys, the 49ers and the Seahawks/Chiefs before they got their collective shit together. To be fair, they did beat the Broncs and Panthers though. By beat I mean not beat. Over the last 8 weeks the Cards have only been tested by the Vikes, Seahawks and Bengals. The old standby “playoff atmosphere” may be bandied about a fair bit during this game. You have been warned.

 

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King Hippo

Jeff Fisher consults his moustache and comes back with “FG”

Doktor Zymm

I remember waaay back at the beginning of the season when I was all about Ameer Abdullah and Andre Ellington

John Difool

THIS ARIZONA OFFENSE I CALL IT AARON ROGERS SECRET BOYFRIEND ‘CAUSE THEY JUST PUT A JOHNSON RIGHT IN GREEN BAY’S KISSER

Senor Weaselo

Shit that’s good.

Croooow

Nice play from David Johnson.

King Hippo

Serious, now that teh Le’Veon is broken, I think David Johnson is the best back in the league. By a fair margin.

blaxabbath

The playbook has really been tailored to him since Cop Speed went down. He’s good but he still shows flashes or rookiness.

King Hippo

Then the playbook should have always been tailored to him. The offense looks next level the last few weeks with him. That combo of size/power and speed is really quite special.

Doktor Zymm

I still think Alfred Morris could do a lot more if Chubby weren’t phasing him out since he’s associated with Shanny.

King Hippo

He could have a “second team Renaissance” with a new franchise like Beastmode…

blaxabbath

Packers no tackle.

fleshwound_NPG

Holy fuck GB defense

bourb0nblues

Tavon with the spin move!

Doktor Zymm

HOW MANY BRANDIN COOKS?

John Difool

Too many?

New Game: guess where Matthew Slater’s body is right now.

King Hippo

Aaron Rodgers REALLY deserves better than that shithead coach and derpy supporting cast he has.

blordinaryfagicmox

Too many Brandins!
Not looking good for the Jax run game, which is fantastically relevant for me.

fleshwound_NPG

Airline commercials are bullshit. Your stewardesses are not that hot, your pilots are not that sober.

John Difool

The same thing applies to hospitals.

blaxabbath

Ditto fast food restaurants.

makeitsnowondem

Martin House Sugar & Spice Barleywine is fucking great.

Old School Zero

Bullshit. Now you’re just making beer names up to sound cool.

makeitsnowondem

Possibly.

Redshirt

Wait a minute… Darth Hoodie WANTED to kick off in OT? BWHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

Senor Weaselo

Did he just say that or is Matthew Slater’s head hanging from his belt during the press conference?

Doktor Zymm

It actually makes sense with what he said. And I can see the Grumblelord being confident enough in his offense that he feels like he can get a stop, then his team only has to get into field goal range.

King Hippo

Pretty sure they wanted the wind/choice of end of field, but the way they called it, didn’t even get THAT. Coked up Red Zone guy trying to make more of a meal of it than even that deliciousness (i.e., ref basically talked Slater into it subconsciously).

blaxabbath

Being from Arizona, I’m not concerned about a ton of GB fans being at FCS. It’s a transplant city and this is a big game where out of towners — who come from much better economic conditions than this hole — are readily interested in paying well-over face value for a ticket. Also, this is the first time in like seven years (3rd time in my lifetime) that such a meaningful game with this much excitement has been played this late in the season at home.

That said, Packer fans are fucking annoying. They’re no Tommy de Quiznee but the little, “Oh we’re just nice people who are great fans that are simply passionate about supporting our team” act is bullshit. If you want to come into another team’s house, that’s fine, but don’t get all upset when you get treated like any other non-divisional visiting fan.

litre_cola

Tis true, I fly down once a year to see the folks and there is a shit tonne of Iggle fans when I go. Been to a bunch of Niner games and it is half and half.

Wakezilla

The entitlement of Packers fans is insane. A team like Seattle or Carolina gets good, and it’s always Packers fans leading the way calling their fans bandwagon fans. Meanwhile, those assholes have had a good-great team consistently for 25 years. Must be hard to always be picked to make it to the Conference championship game.

blordinaryfagicmox
Doktor Zymm

I like Saints fans. They’re like less stabby, less scary Raiders fans, with more gumbo.

entropy

And Jambalaya!

Shogun Marcus

Is my team playing at home?
/looks out window
Nope. What the hell Arizona?

blaxabbath

Poor people sell their tickets to rich people.

blordinaryfagicmox

Reaganomics works!

Shogun Marcus

Those people aren’t from green bay I can guarantee it. Fans maybe, but not from here.

Redshirt

I was watching the PIT-BAL game with family, but rest assured I laughed my ass off when the Patriots pulled a Jerome Bettis at the OT coin toss.

litre_cola

Will FOX let me know if there is a quirky fish market in Seattle?

bourb0nblues

They say the crowd is pretty quiet there, so probably lots of time for intelligent insight and conversational factoids.

Croooow

I wonder if CBS will feature someone preparing wings in Buffalo?

Spur

Rams are ready!
comment image

Old School Zero

RAM IT

Wakezilla

Nah, they’re just smart enough to have multiple fall guys.

fleshwound_NPG

Holy shit, show up for your home games, Cardinals fans. I know you are Arizona, but fuck.

Recovery Whiskey

There was probably a holiday special at Golden Corral

Doktor Zymm

I have loads of co-workers in Phoenix. I should send a company memo telling them to care about their goddamn successful football franchise.

Senor Weaselo

Between the Cards, Coyotes, D-Backs, and Suns… do they ever sell any stadium out?

blaxabbath

Cards have sold out every game at Fake College Stadium.

Wakezilla

Maybe they have boxing week sales specials? Who doesn’t want to spend more money after Christmas?

blaxabbath

When taking the ball out of the end zone on kickoffs, one should aim to advance the ball to, at least, the 20 yard line.

Recovery Whiskey

Raise that 12 flag.

indieguy

joe buck looks like his heads been in a vice

Senor Weaselo

Unfortunately it isn’t.

Wakezilla

I’m disappointed the Titans lost today. I was really hoping for the Falcons and Jaguars to make the playoffs when I found out it was possible for both to make it earlier this week. Oh well.

evilbeaver8

It really is amazing that people who get paid to do nothing more than talk about football one day a week can manage to never have anything interesting or insightful to say about football.

Wakezilla

It’d never happen, but, I’d support every Network having a 4 years on/4 years off policy. Like, each football talking head gets 4 years employment before not being able to talk about football for 4 years on network TV.

Most of these guys on TV talking football have been on TV for like 20 years. They’re on autopilot now. Whereas after they’re out of work for 4 years and no guarantee they’ll be welcomed back, they might actually try harder.

blaxabbath

Made it!

Have I missed any good conversations about Manning/PEDs?

litre_cola

Hosted a party xmas eve, just found 5 bottles a wine an a random 15 pack of beer in the cleanup. There is definitely merit to angering your neighbour with drinking games at 3 in the morning. I am 39 I confess I love flipcup and beerpong.

Sharkbait

I still regularly play asshole and kings cup with my friends. We’re all 30, and at least 2 of us have kids.

Doktor Zymm

My main problem with drinking games, you only get to drink if you lose (yes I know you can just drink anyway, but it isn’t the same). It shouldn’t be a punishment, it should be a reward! That’s why I invented drinking scrabble. Person with the highest score at the end of each round drinks.

Doktor Zymm

I miss the days when football teams made horrible music videos.

Senor Weaselo

Does this mean teams these days can’t RAM IT?

litre_cola

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9eF6DVI0tk

Calgary Flames, Red Hot. It is epic.

litre_cola

Please take a moment and watch this.

Sharkbait
litre_cola

That is good stuff.

Doktor Zymm

The Mullets! The Moustaches! The Polo Shirts? The Earnestness!

litre_cola

It is legendary here for the badness.

John Difool
Bortleback

Cromartie hasn’t looked that confused since a woman last asked him to use a condom

Doktor Zymm

Tangentially related, is it just me, or do the Patriots win coin tosses way more than 50% of the time?

King Hippo

For the record, methinks Slater meant to choose the end of the field, but by saying “KICK” he made an affirmative choice, rather than simply deferring.

Spur

Let’s go Rams, fuck those Seahawks over.

blaxabbath

Ram it!

King Hippo

I’m sure that Slater’s race totes won;t be mentioned on Bahstahn talk radio, right??

evilbeaver8

Bostonians don’t see race, they hate everyone who isn’t from there equally.

makeitsnowondem

Guess Breesus is okay.

Spur

Aaron Rodgers deserves to lose for hanging around with that dirty motherfucker Chris Paul.

King Hippo

As an NC State alum, I agree on behalf of Julius Hodge’s nuts.

Sharkbait

I cant even go with whiskey yet. Stupid DUI laws.

JustStopDude

Andn once that TD was caught in the endzone by the Jets receiver, I wrote “game over” post haste in my notebook

Spur

Fucking stupidest overtime I’ve ever seen. Good for you Jets.

Spur

Concussion test on Slater please

entropy

This is the time on Sprockets when we drink to excess

Spur

Falcons beat Panthers
Ravens beat Steelers
BIRD UPSETS!!!!!

Doktor Zymm

DAY OF THE BIRD!

Recovery Whiskey

All liquored up before noon and ready for an NFC West potlach.

Beerguyrob

Right there with ya. C-Link is about to light up like I am.

Old School Zero

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