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Min @ GB: Well! That was an interesting day right up until the booze made a guy go to SleepyTown. Both these teams are in the playoffs. Playoffs? So why don’t we pray that no one gets deaded and get this thing over with.
Your Sunday Night Open Thread
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I’m doing a crossword puzzle. fuck crossword puzzles.
Take the wunderlic instead
Nothing makes me feel dumber. Nothing.
It’s easy if you ask your goddamned phone for the answers. Don;t you watch commercials?
THAT’S CHEATING!!!!
Hmmmm, twelve letter word for insufferable SNF booth announcer. Who could that be?
Laremy Turnsil is supposed to the be the #1 pick in the draft and is considered the best offensive lineman available. I don’t care how good he is I am not drafting a kid at OL whose last name is two letters away from “turnstile”.
Not a goddamned chance. He should drop five rounds based on his name alone.
When an O-lineman is projected as one you know it’s a shitty draft. I can just see The Titans fans now looking like hostages at the draft party.
Top 10 2016 Draft Picks
10. Giants – Defense. I would say Jaylon Smith but he got hurt in the bowl game. i just hope Eli picks a nice home Coughlin. Eli promises to visit every week.
‘And can we have rabbits on the farm Eli?’
‘Yes, Tom, we can have rabbits. Now turn away and watch the sunset.’
Elisha gets the Steinbeck treatment. It’s been a comin’
Shaq Lawson or any D-lineman with ten fingers. Shit I’ll take anybody on defense that can fucking tackle.
When some team is stupid enough to hire me as a coach, I will make all my RBs perform in high wire circus acts over the offseason so they learn not to go out of bounds.
But they must perform the high wire act in full pads.
And cleats
The most I need from the Vikings is a three-point loss and I am already finding myself cheering every conservative decision they make.
This game has no goddamned urgency whatsoever. Bills/Jets would have been 100 times more interesting.
While I do agree, it still sounds absurd.
CHICAGO DRY CLEANERS
CHICAGO MATCHSTICK GIRLS
CHICAGO SUBWAY FLOOR GUM SCRAPERS
CHICAGO ORGAN GRINDERS
Speaking of organ grinders…how’s Rodgers doing?
Chicago organ grinders? You mean the dude who makes my Italian sausage?
It’s called offal for a reason.
They’ve shot this show just a few blocks from my apartment so I’m tempted to watch to see if I recognize things.
Related, when shooting an episode of Chicago Fire, a building on the street they were shooting on caught fire.
Bleacher Reports 2016 mock draft. Laugh if you must but it’ll be at least as accurate as Peter King’s. Also apparently Carolina’s winning the Super Bowl. Yay!
Top 10 2016 Draft Picks
8. Buccaneers– D Lineman, Shaq Lawson or Buckner. Whoever they pick will have a DUI in two years.
That should be number 9
I’m thinking they go O-line. Winston got hit a lot this year or RB to replace Martin
9 DUIs in 2 years? Well it is a young kid in Tampa so I won’t rule it out.
“They just picked him up off the street.”
Aaron Rogers: “Oh really?”
Did no one tell football players that it’s rude to point?
I really do want this game to end in a tie, just to fuck with the collective heads of the NFL media.
Also, they would all look like jackasses for not mentioning the possibility and the fact that there are actually THREE scenarios. It would be glorious!
I don’t like that kid in the BMW commercial. Not even a little bit.
Top 10 2016 Draft Picks
7. Dolphins– Should take Vernon Hargreaves Corner but they’ll do something really dumb like take Ezekiel Elliot or something.
Even they aren’t that stupid. My guess is corner, unless Brent Grimes wife kills the kid
Or they’ll do what I did…get drunk and end up buying the first 4 season’s of Mama’s Family on Betamax off eBay.
I need to fuel my Packer hatred. It doesn’t burn as fiery as it ought to.
If the Vikings win and the Packers go to MD next week, and if you still want to go to the Skins bar with me, then you could have a point of bonding with other people there, for a bit.
Sweet potato chippy is the only chippy worth talking about.
Top 10 2016 Draft Picks
7. 49ers– Which ever QB the Browns don’t take. Kaep would be great insurance for the Cowboys or a starter for the Texans.
Hoping the Cowboys take that QB from California and let him sit for a couple of years before Romo dies on the field and he can take over. Which will never happen and they’ll take Bosa and he’ll get arrested and/or fail a drug test because we can’t have nice things.
That would be a smart move. It would also give Cowboy haters two more years of watching Romo get dismantled on the field.
Win-win!
I have obligatory Cowboy hate, but even I feel bad watching Romo get destroyed every year.
This is perilously close to actual substantive football commentary. Needs moar dick jokes!
You missed the 8″ bionic penis?
Man the last Bengals QB to win a playoff game was Boomer.
Last Browns QB to do that? Johnny Manziel when he picked Clemson and the points.
I was in high school the last time The Bengals won a playoff game.
I was still breastfeeding!
Granted I was 12, but we were a “progressive” house.
Was that pre or post tiger stripey helmet?
BRETT FAVRE MENTION DRINK
GO TIE!!!
Have we given up on meteors?
If both teams are destroyed, how does that affect the playoff situation?
Top 10 2016 Draft Picks
6. Ravens– Shaq Lawson and a lead pipe to hit Antonio Brown with.
In the library
It was Ray Rice
Clue reference ftw.
Deeelightful.
HEW PAAAAWWWWWWLLL IF AJ McCARRON WINS THAT PLAYOFF GAME AGAINST THEM STEELERS I THINK HE SHOULD GET INTO THE HALL OF FAME, WHAT SAYS YOU////
oh god
GROUP HUG!
Rodgers never wants it to end.
That’s the group tug
Aaron Rodgers = Tummy stick champion of the Packers.
Top 10 2016 Draft Picks
5. Jaguars– Defense guy. Maybe that corner from FSU Ramsey or a linebacker
JJFozz, you know who is getting ass… bionic dick guy.
If you’re going bionic, you might as well go 8″
I’d make mine telescoping with room for future expansion.
Also I’d make it light up and make the Six Million Dollar Man jumping sound.
So, it seems I’m only two degrees of separation from this guy :
WEIRD
UBER WEIRD
Only in Chicago. What a country.
I’ve seen sat/remote trucks across the city at least half a dozen times since moving here and I genuinely consider photoboming every liveshot they do.
I’ve seen the Google Streetview guy twice in my life and much to my eternal shame I didn’t do anything interesting either time.
Am I the only one who wants to know more about the “two degrees”….?
You appear to be friends with redditors
Was the title Manic Pixie Dream Grandpa already taken?
They wanted it to be “Honky Grandpa Be Trippin” originally.
May have to change username….
Deniro continues to mail it in
Top 10 2016 Draft Picks
4. Cowboys– Joey Bosa! no QB, no QB……don’t fuck this up Jerry.
Don’t fuck this up? I mean come on. You know what’s coming
Take the kid from California and stash him. They NEED someone to fill in for Romo. I refer to the 2015 season to make my point.
Isn’t this a perfect time to rob a bunch of houses in Green Bay?
If you want huntin gear and meat, then yes.
Sure is, but consider the haul: blocks of cheese, frozen brats, stinky Packers sweatshirts, and broken snowmobiles.
Don’t forget the XXL clothing.
Heehee…you said Stinky Packers.
Stupid Girl … for Olivia Munn?
Seems appropriate.
Oh wait…I thought you said “Skanky Girl”
For what it’s worth, I wasn’t judging.
Skanky girlz iz da bestest.
Wow, Superstore looks dumber than a bus full of Patriots fans
the correct noun you are looking for is “bandwagon”
Can’t wait to see the NY back pages tomorrow.
The Jets have been getting slaughtered on WFAN. Revis especially.
Insert generic “Jets getting slaughtered” joke here.
“Jets Downed”
Yup, Revis threw those picks.
No doubt about it.
Oh, did Revis throw three 4th quarter interceptions? I must have missed that part of the game.
Top 10 2016 Draft Picks
3. Chargers – Robert Nkemdiche or a wet nurse for Rivers kids.
Does Boltman give milk?
That would be a shitty job.
Unless they tossed in the cocoa butter to keep one’s nipples soft and supple.
Any O Lineman
ANY OF THEM
ALL ROUNDS, ALL PICKS, ALL O LINE
today, the neighbors went out to watch football at a bar and drink. i did not. guess who’s getting some booty tonight?
not me. the guys who got drunk at the bar and picked up sluts.
Here you go buddy:
http://www.cheezwhse.com/prodimages/8521.jpg
Yeah, but they’re getting in boourble.
Remind MsFozz that the Ravens’ season is over, O’s season might be over before it begins at the rate the FA signings are going, and maybe it’ll light a spark. Otherwise…yank it like I do.
Cris: AP has been dominant against every team the Vikings have played this season.
Sea vs Min: AP 18 yards on 8 carries
Do you expect him to watch football?
Who needs facts when your storylines are already decided
To be fair, the Vikings didn’t so much “play” SEA, as just let them come in and run roughshod over them.
So…Cleveland nuked the site from orbit, huh?
I can’t wait until the next Packers fullback: Jerry Sloape
+1 Top Gear Burma Special
Lets do the Top 10 2016 Draft Picks
2. Browns – Jared Goff ,or that kid from Memphis. Lynch.
And they’ll be ruined, because Cleveland.
Is there anyone over 25 in the draft this year?
Pretty much all of BYU’s guys.
Well Haslam will spend millions of dollars on research that will tell him to take a cornerstone on defense and he’ll draft a wide receiver or Tackle
4 – Cleveland forgets to turn in card (Pick received from Cowboys for Johnny)
You go straight to hell.
hey guys
Chunk!
Ahoyhoy
Hello again. Did you do any non grocery shopping today?
Geez, you make an offhand comment about delivery people screwing up your order and you never hear the end of it.
I thought you lived in Bergen.
Monmouth.
Oh sorry. I’ve got blue laws. For some reason I thought you lived up here.
Free enterprise, baby.
Lets do the Top 10 2016 Draft Picks
1. Titans – The top giant lineman, some guy from an SEC team or Notre Dame
Cleveland, an AA sponsor for JFF
Which is funny, since Dallas traded all their draft picks to Cleveland for JFF!
They’ll fail to notice that the Eagles fired Chip Kelly already, and trade this pick to them for him.
Well with no owner it may be a difficult war room to predict. They may look to trade since there’s no clear cut No. 1
Mike McCarthy forgets he can run an offensive play on fourth down the moment you distract him with the possibility of a field goal.
So was Rodgers trolling the people calling him gay with “Butte Community College”?
Well their mascot is a Grizzly Bear, so maybe
So my roommate, her son, and I have all come down with a cold, I just made a pot of garlic soup. I feel using roughly 2-1/2 heads of garlic is a little overkill, but you never know when you might need to kill a vampire.
On the plus side, the house smells delicious.
Garlic is the food of gods, and also a prebiotic!
The gods apparently had very diverse microbiomes.
HE DIDN’T EVEN GET THE 1ST DOWN ASSHOLES! STOP CHANTING KHUUUUUUUUN!!!!
Black Monday is Louis Farrakhan’s dream: a bunch of white guys losing their jobs after the holidays.
Uh Seattle looks damn scary. Especially after what they did to Arizona today.
And Beast Mode is coming back for the playoffs…
I don’t think Arizona gave too much of a shit today.
They talked like they wanted to
They’re 1st or 2nd in DVOA in the NFL. They’re good. Very good.
This has to be the latest into the season where there was actual grass growing at Lambeau.
TOTALLY THAWED TUNDRA
CLIMATE CHANGE IS GOOD!
And it comes with a free frogurt.
I see that the Vikings already miss Linval Joseph.
So did The Giants, God I hate Jerry Reese
It could be worse, we could have Kent Brown as our QB again.
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