Your “Oh Look, Another Blowout” AFC Semi-Final Open Thread

Although Peyton can’t feel his fingers Ben has one-upped him and doesn’t feel his shoulder, empathy or many other complex emotions. The Broncs starting QB has a gorgeous 9-17 TD/INT ratio that places him right up there with the likes of Vince Young and Pedo Sanchez as the worst fellas to ever start a playoff game. At this point if I was a Denver fan I’d be somewhat comfortable starting the questionable Bark Rottweiler, who did quite well in emergency service. Did I mention that Pitt was “Dead Paul McCartney’ed”? (Pete Carroll’s verb, not mine) They are a very special team in that they don’t have either their leading rusher or receiver available for the game. WR Brown was off the field for only 4% of Steelers plays this year but they scored 6 TD’s on those very same plays. All the Steelers have to do to replicate that success is to be in “and goal” down situations most of the game. EAZY PEEZY! [pulls up a chair for you, looks at you with serious face] We need Denver to win this-they have a much better chance to beat the Pats than does the crippled folks from Pitt. You done well, yinzers but it’s time now to act for the greater good. TYPE AWAY GEAR BOXES!

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Duchess

Um football is a full time job for all professionals

Sharkbait

COME ON SAFETY!

ThePirateSloth

Wade Phillips just died.

Sill Bimmons

JUST KICK THE BALL DUMBASS

King Hippo

This is the inverse of the Palmer thing. PeyPey showed up ready and focused, and every. single. one. of his teammates is choking major cock.

Sill Bimmons
Horatio Cornblower

He hasn’t thrown a spiral in his last ten attempts. His ball has more wobbles in it than Neptune’s orbit.

/waits patiently for Neil deGrasse Tyson to correct him about which planet has the biggest wobble in its orbit.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Go screw, Boss Todd!

Horatio Cornblower

Just gave my son $20 to go out with. He promised to keep me alive extra long in the nursing home.

I hate that kid.

Gratliff

$20? Where’s he going? Church?

King Hippo

12-pack of condoms and some Altoids? They’re Curiously Strong!

Romonobyl

He’s certainly DFO material.

King Hippo

I need to pick out the one who will be liberal with the morphine bottle.

John Difool

I haven’t seen a horse get hit that hard since Sarah Jessica Parker and Sex and the City

bourb0nblues

Niiiice.

Moonbatting Average

Does the AFC championship game even need to be played?

makeitsnowondem

The NFC championship is the Super Bowl.

Moonbatting Average

Awesome! It’s the Eighties and Nineties all over again

Romonobyl

Why yes, let’s mock a peaceful lifestyle consisting of people who shun attention…brilliant!

Sill Bimmons

No pressure at all.

Horatio Cornblower

Manning is throwing nothing but knuckleballs out there. I don’t have a dog in this fight so some Broncos fan tell me why Osweiler shouldn’t be in there right now.

Wakezilla

Well, I mean, the wideouts are dropping quite a few passes

Sharkbait

Nope It’s the wind. Not a QB who as benched half the season. Definitely not that.

Wakezilla

Especially one that can’t feel his hands

Gratliff

I kind of want to play Saints Row IV again. Is Gat Out of Hell worth it?

blackroseMD1

I’ve only played about 4 hours of Gat out of Hell, but I’ve enjoyed it so far.

blackroseMD1

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Romonobyl

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Horatio Cornblower

I love that one.

makeitsnowondem

fuck you catchmen

Sill Bimmons

IN

COM

PLETE

tundrajim

I
C
P
Tee hee!

nomonkeyfun

Wow, is this Klwe would be a better choice game?

King Hippo

Stillers punter is Donks’ MVP.

Sill Bimmons

ALL THIS FUCKING GUY DOES IS PUNT WHAT THE FUCK

Sill Bimmons

shit

Horatio Cornblower

Was Kubiak just reading the Sunday comics?

Romonobyl

He loves him some Family Circus.

Sill Bimmons

Matt “Waste Of” Spaeth, everybody!

King Hippo

FUCK. EVERYTHING.

Romonobyl

Oh good 60 Minutes is next, just enough time to find a new onion for my belt.

Horatio Cornblower

Sorry about your dementia.

Romonobyl

GET OUTTA MY YARD!!!!

Duchess

Giving the Steelers the middle the field… its like Lovie Smith is running this defense

ThePirateSloth

Peyton just threw a dead duck there.

makeitsnowondem

Why, CJ

Sharkbait

Over/under on brock coming in for the 2nd half?

Horatio Cornblower

His teammates seem to be doing everything they can to make that a reality.

Sill Bimmons

What was PHEEL just yammering about?

ThursdaySkyGoddess

When it comes to Phil Simms, I’m just like

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XuPYXfVUQHw

King Hippo

Let this be a lesson – NEVAR believe in ANYTHING, kids. You will only be let down.

Wakezilla

I wonder how much this guy got paid

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Horatio Cornblower

Sill would pay her.

Sill Bimmons

EVERYTHING I OWN

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’d work for free

nomonkeyfun

Get out of my brain asshole.

nomonkeyfun

i assume that is an unpaid internship.

litre_cola

Has anyone commented on Cromartie getting the snip and yet still having twins? His sperm is ninjalike.

Horatio Cornblower

Assuming it’s his.

litre_cola

Sounds like a job for Maury.

The Maestro

Ehhhhhh… I heard a bunch of “you got cucked, bro” jokes elsewhere on the internet…

Sill Bimmons

If I was him I’d have it reversed and just go nuts spawning my own private child army.

Doktor Zymm

It’s only 99.99% effective.

Sill Bimmons

It’s a shame about the rapeyness because THE BEN really is a phenomenal QB.

Duchess

I blame it on the head injury from falling off his motorcycle

Horatio Cornblower

Other than that Mrs. Lincoln how did you like the play?

Gratliff

One and done! One and done! One and done!

theeWeeBabySeamus

WTF kinda coverage wuz dat?

blackroseMD1

It was the rarely seen “fuck it” coverage.

Doktor Zymm

I feel kinda bad that I don’t care about the outcome of this game. It’s like seeing two guys fighting for place in line to sign up as a Kamikaze pilot.
http://metamathics.org/denny/fuck_this_shit.jpeg

Romonobyl

Boss Todd’s halftime pep talk:
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fleshwound_NPG

That was…less than outstanding defense.

litre_cola

Heyward Bey can catch? Colour me surprised.

Brick Meathook

OUR WIRELESS NETWORK IS BETTER THAN YOUR WIRELESS NETWORK, ASSHOLE

The Maestro

theeWeeBabySeamus

So…what’s everybody eating tonight?
I know Hippo’s answer is anxiety, and maybe shame depending on the outcome of the Donks’/Stillers.

I got ribs, collards, pintos, and cornbread.
Redneck fucking heaven, y’all.

Sharkbait

Home made red sauce. I got some cherrystone clams I’m going to heat up in the sauce and have some pasta.

Sill Bimmons
Sharkbait

You can never have too much gyoza.

ThePirateSloth

I got beef/lamb gryos to make.

theeWeeBabySeamus

ooooh…nice

nomonkeyfun

I had a cheap truck stop burrito, but my Chinese menu is calling me like a buxom redhead.

Romonobyl

Dry-aged ribeyes waiting for the grill.

theeWeeBabySeamus

ooooh…also nice.

Sharkbait

Woooo! Ice Giants score!

Gratliff

boooooooooooooooo

makeitsnowondem

God dammit

King Hippo

all the team’s worst tendencies, amplified

fleshwound_NPG

“Good play by the defense there.”

The WR dropped it.

King Hippo

fucking Sanders, that’s -3 points

King Hippo

fucking shit

Doktor Zymm

They just audibled “Haley” and it was a long bomb

nomonkeyfun

Should have been Daisy.