The best players in the NFL who aren’t playing in the Super Bowl, aren’t injured or at least aren’t pretending to be injured because they’ve already been to Hawaii and don’t feel like playing a 17th game of football this season, are at the Aloha Bowl in Hawaii tonight at 7 pm EST. ESPN will show the game because they are contractually obligated to. Michael Irvin and Deion Sanders picked teams who will try to play professional football without hurting anyone. It will not work and the most entertaining aspect of the game will be checking out what uniform abominations we have this year and seeing if maybe Irvin will have a cocaine relapse on the sideline.
Your other options this evening are literally anything else. Take the family out and set a foundation of goodwill for next Sunday, when you ignore them all day while watching the Superb Owl.
THIS PRO BOWL I CALL IT A ‘TIJUANA DONKEY SHOW’ BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW ANYONE WHO’S WATCHED AN ENTIRE GAME AND I DON’T WANT TO KNOW ANYONE WHO HAS!
Just…because I’m a nerd. I should probably find a place that doesn’t have original flooring, drill in, hook up a pietzo buzzer to a 9 volt….
As long as you don’t overdo it.
https://xkcd.com/905/
I love xkdc.
Glen Healy calling Cory Schneider brave for wearing brand new pads is just another reason why I hate Glen Healy. What a dildo
I drink, and am aware of the the problems of drinkers. At the same time, I do mornings. I saw bitchy neighbor out having a ciggy and looking hung over this Saturday. Am I horrible for thinking that the next time I should be willfully loud is 8 am next Saturday?
The guy above me sounds like he’s constantly moving a chair from one side of the room to the other, I reciprocate by constantly going on 3 day benders with music and yelling and occasionally a game of HORSE in my kitchen. We’re even.
http://www.mrpilgrim.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/B-Movie-Women-attack-of-the-jungle-women.jpg
HA! PK SCORES!
Looks like he’s about to get a happy ending
Good thing nobody watches the NHL all-star game in Hee-Haw country ,, smh
That’s not normally why I say “Fuck PK Subban,” but good for him I guess.
Some female country singer just offered PK Subban a 3 minute “back” massage if he scores the next goal. Things are heating up over in the all-star game!
If you want to really piss your neighbor off, Dok, just leave the apartment and play It’s a Small World at max volume. You may also piss off everyone else in the building, street, and ZIP code, but it’ll be worth it!
This is a good object lesson for my kids on why you don’t go around picking fights, even if you believe you’re “just standing up for yourself.”
Also, for bass, one can never go wrong with Primus. Personal favourite:
HAHA!!!! I linked it earlier (but imbed won’t fucking work for me….because I suck I guess).
But yeah….that’s the shit.
Every time I see “A Mighty Wind” I want the New Main Street Singers to do an upbeat bluegrass version of it. Just how my mind go.
Nick Backstrom is playing in his first all-star game? Someone has been skipping games to go party in Cabo or something. That’s pretty crazy.
Dok, can I get a TL;DR on why you’re pissing off your neighbor?
Also:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oh-yhUGY8co
I am not loud, and I wake up ass early, so am particularly not loud after 9. She keeps sending me really snarky emails about the “quiet time” in Chicago, which, incidentally, are actually wrong, and don’t pertain to noise that I’m making. They’re super bitchy, and if she can’t be bothered to check where noise is coming from before sending a salty email, then I can’t be bothered to be a good neighbor either.
Oh. Fuck her.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQHTcJYJRgQ
oooh, I’m old now. Cruxshadows.
Why does Iowa and New Hampshire get to decide presidential candidates? We should do this in groups of 10-15 states every other week
It’s how they stay relevant. Having lived in NH, I hated every second of election years.
They don’t really decide much, especially considering how the last few years the winner of each state didn’t get the GOP nomination.
However, it’s a boon to have all those $$$ and attention flow into otherwise unimportant states.
3 on 3 hockey is fun to watch.
EVIL WILL TRIUMPH, IF GOOD MEN DO NOTHING.
3 on 3 as a low scoring game works because these guys really don’t want to shred their groins.
Gino with a hilarious breakaway goal.
So I’m just gonna ask….
When we all contribute to Dok Zymm’s eviction, does that mean we all will have shared custody afterwards?
I’m not complaining or anything, just need to restock the booze cabinet and warn the neighbors maybe.
Nah it’s cool, I own, she’s a renter. I’m in the right here.
Oh…well then fuck dat bitch.
This is good. It’s deep bass, but irregular. The most annoying sort. HAHA YOUR CEILING!!!
Oh…I found Sr. Frogs.
Should I In-iggada-davita? Or whatever ‘In the garden of Eden” is called nowadays?
In lieu of teh Pro Bowl and various replacement teevee options, I have started the 800 page “A People’s Tragedy: The Russian Revolution 1891-1924” by Orlando Figes.
You wild man, you.
You score that blow yet?
nah, I would be WRITING an 800-page book if’n I had.
Afternoon folks!
My Spurs are in free fall without Duncan. 🙁
http://49.media.tumblr.com/3d5c6fa8c7e6984a1dd6e46498b78cc7/tumblr_o1kc52Z2MF1u0rb9to1_250.gif
My favorite reinterpretation of the show Friends is that the entire series was the product of the imagination of a mentally ill Phoebe staring at the other five characters through the window of a coffee shop.
Hey, did you know that Vicars Wank Too?
http://45.media.tumblr.com/6972055d6cb4dd6f4c114279ff7595ba/tumblr_o1ksdwl3zT1t95h1uo1_400.gif
Good bass for vibrational irritations.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eebfMFzJHNs
I just did a fun stompy type dance. WOO let’s be loud!
Bass, eh?
http://www.spin.com/2012/07/30-greatest-dubstep-songs-all-time/
and
A list of songs to use:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uc88MTxQrM
Surprisingly there haven’t been 800 goals so far in the 3-on-3 game.
McDonagh trade reference! Drink!
I’m in full on cooking mode now but I have some down time at the moment. Do I watch hockey players half ass it for a couple hours? Or football players half ass it for a couple hours?
http://41.media.tumblr.com/e9d8ac39a247a907a71a8c6915be3be1/tumblr_o14n0wussB1u0rb9to1_1280.jpg
It’s 4:30 now. You tell me it’s 10 I gotta be off, it’s actually 11, but I won’t quibble…today. Shit will be loud until 10. And just you wait until 8 am tomorrow. I should have done it today. But NOW UNTIL FOREVER.
Bubble Bobble Remix is GO
She looked super hung over the other day, smoking a cig on her porch, I have no goddamn sympathy. She’s sent me bitchy emails on boths sides, early and late. You live in a city? You put up with my minimal shit, or I go full bitch.
Since you seem to be going full-on FUCK. YOU. NEIGHBOR., Julio Voltio feat. Pitbull. (The original is slamming.)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B52112AAeh8
I mean, I want to like it. But will check this out. Cheers.
Oh it’s not for everyone, myself included. It reaches peak abhorrence when blasted out of a school bus full of elementary school students.
“Yes yes. Puta this, Yal that, I heard it.”
-Me to my wife every week for two school years.
For Dok Zymm…
http://youtu.be/953PkxFNiko
Erik Karlson makes it 1-1
Al Hirt is go.
I love me some punk, but it’s a bit sad on the bass front. I should probably switch to something more destructive down below. Currently on Templars. Fun for me..but I don’t see it cracking any plaster down below.
You need songs with a crazy bass. Trust me, a song that’s all bass will get that person’s glasses shaking
1-0 Metropolitan Division in the Eastern Conference inter-divisional conference game.
Oooh, I just turned shit up to 11. I can feel it in the floors now. I hope I knock a poorly hung lighting fixture down.
I’m not being loud enough. Anyone want to come jump around in my place? GET UP GET UP GET DOWN.
It’s all fair game until 8. IMMA BE LOUD AS FUCK
Report coming in that Megatron plans to retire because as we all know Detroit can’t have nice things like good players. Which is still pretty good considering the rest of Michigan.
http://41.media.tumblr.com/398b40eb05768dd24d49c4bebc6cbda4/tumblr_o143e9DUo21u0rb9to1_540.jpg
He’s been injured for a while now too, not the same guy.
Just a little injured, he’s still good!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MWvevkE0kAI
He used to have the affect of domination, the injuries added up and he isn’t that guy any more. Maybe the pain and cumulative affect isn’t worth it.
How many awesome players does Detroit have to ruin before the NFL steps in?
http://45.media.tumblr.com/03a51ea393f5d87015c25d98b8d4e65a/tumblr_o1mps9qIQc1u0rb9to1_500.gif
Theory: Trump supporters are nickleback fans. They’re both supposedly everywhere, yet no one publicly admits to either despite sales figures and polls saying otherwise.
My theory was Trump supporters are really Democrats trying to get Empress Hillary a clear path to the White House, but Old Man Bernie’s insurrection would throw a wrench in that plan.
Are you a YouTube commenter?
No. I have no creativity, less personality and a face for radio.
I like Nickleback kinda the way people like vanilla ice cream. Which is to say if there’s nothing else, I can tolerate it (although “Rockstar” IS a classic and I will cut anyone who says otherwise).
Trump, on the other hand, can suck my scrote.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1hgVcNzvzY
Ideas to fix Pro Bowl:
– Play it the day of the Super Bowl, back-to-back. Gets the Pro Bowl players involved in Super Sunday.
– Revert back to AFC-NFC teams. Winner of Pro Bowl plays all inter-conference games at home.
– Rotate the Pro Bowl to all NFL teams instead of Honolulu. Make it like the MLB All Star Game, take over a city for a week.
And force PK to spend all Northern outdoor games on the sideline without a jacket, naturally. I’d say without other clothing items, but I don’t want to see that.
Call it, more points scored in the NHL ASG or the Pro Bowl?
Does “getting out of my house and watching the game in a bar” count as “having a life”?
http://49.media.tumblr.com/2af3efc30944a958fd077e882e85c319/tumblr_o16iy6BcRi1u0rb9to1_400.gif
“Pichu! That’s not ‘Tail Whip’!”
I have a dick neighbor, who sends me horrible emails should I stray outside of the Chicago Time For Loud Noise (which she actually has wrong). I have received two such emails, and the last time I was super quiet at the time of the bitchy email. I’ve decided to just play shit as loud as possible during Chicago Loud Noise Time. Even if I don’t want to or care. Fuck your ceiling.
Oh, I didn’t end that right, suggestions for things with lots of bass?
Might I suggest
https://m.youtube.com/?#/playlist?list=PLr3ViTcgePdhkaWltDknSWjhOBuB1ptY_
– Get all the speakers you have. Cut the speaker vice and splice them all together to hook into one stereo system.
– Aim all towards her house.
– Turn this on a sunrise.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OO5y2O_hv3I
One thing you can do is set a timer to turn on some loud music when you’re not even home.
http://45.media.tumblr.com/ad0060a531a4ab32f678a6df4b64f142/tumblr_o1f2fiEIoG1t95h1uo1_400.gif
I see Pacman made the Pro Bowl. Will he be wearing a Steelers helmet because he obviously helped their team more than his own?
I may still be a little ton pissed at my team.
You think Pacman ain’t gon drank pina coladas? Oh, he gon DRANK dem pina coladas. And then he gon hula. Chuh chuh.
Shit! I forgot to add “Attend a donkey show” to Duchess’ list of things to do in February!
The donkey show is NEXT week, , smgdh
I’m gonna go shopping at IKEA, put together IKEA furniture, and hang a big TV on the wall.
IKEA ON A SUNDAY: STILL BETTER THAN THE PRO BOWL!
Things better to do than watch the Pro Bowl. Go!
Here’s mine: Have a long discussion with your significant other about where the relationship is going.
Call the my parents and siblings together for a discussion about their mistreatment of me.
Yeah, that discussion will end with the police and paramedics being called.
Do some Pro Bono legal work.