No Clever Title EPL Preview

I am de-motivated as fuck. This would be Derby Day, but the fucking Redshite are in the League Cup final against City, so the match got postponed. Thusly, I have fuckall to look forward to this weekend.

With City on the sidelines, all eyes focus on the main three title contenders. Leicester get recently less shitty Norwich (10:00 EST, NBCSN) as they cling to a precarious 2 point lead. Southampton and Chelski is a decent secondary option in the window, surprisingly only on Extra Time.

Tied for 2nd Spurs (ahead on goal differential) and Arsenal each play on Sunday. Annoyingly, the matches aren’t spaced out, with each starting at 9:05. Spurs vs. Manure gets NBCSN, with Arsenal/Swans relegated to Extra Time. Altogether, a really shitty job of coverage for a weekend with only 8 fixtures thanks to the League Cup.

Anyway, my old man neck hurts, and I have nothing interesting to say. Sorry kids. Enjoy the footy.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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entropy

GOD DAMN YOU HIPPO AND THAT SONG FOR ZULA SHIT

Sill Bimmons

ENG 9 — 10 IRL 51:00

entropy

The Tito’s vodka is gone, and I have opened the Absolut.

Sill Bimmons

All the unwarranted video judge interference has made an absolute fucking disaster of rugby.

Sill Bimmons

REFS NEED TO STAY OUT OF THE FUCKING SCRUM

Sill Bimmons

ENG 3 — 3 IRL

entropy

Read the PM; will reply tomorrow when sober.

Sill Bimmons

Will do.

SWING LOW

Horatio Cornblower

Put it this way, some guy named Rip was impressed with your nap.

Sill Bimmons

HAR

Sill Bimmons

HAR

entropy

Frampton-Quigg is the WORST fight I have ever seen.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

By the by, do we have any scorching hot taeks from the scouting combine that don’t have to do with hand size?

entropy

All I’ve learned is that hand size doesn’t matter, until it does, then it’s vital. But maybe not, because it’s not truly indicative of success.

entropy

I am watching the UK unification boxing match and even on tape delay it is boring as shit. Jesus Fuck throw a goddam lunch already.

entropy

“punch.” Throw a goddamn PUNCH already.

Horatio Cornblower

Ola fellow shut-ins.

Due to my wife doing me the nice favor of serving as a beer mule so that I could get double the per person allotment Treehouse beer, (here’ s link; they’re not paying me for this I just really like the beer: http://treehousebrew.com/), and standing outside in subfreezing weather in a 40 minute line to do it, I have to stay sober until 10 pm to give some kid a ride home.

Sooooooooooo, what do you guys do on a Saturday that doesn’t involve beer?

entropy

There’s always opiates.

Sill Bimmons

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Been fairly indoors today, mainly drumming to get ready for Monday and catching up on some work, so the lady and I are about to go grab a drink and a bite so we can say we participated in society today. Then I’ll probably come back here to see what tunes WCS is spinning in the wee hours. Yes, my life is riveting.

entropy

I do not care if you are a champion boxer, if you weigh 122 pounds I am not worried about your hitting power.

entropy

Questions :

Is this today’s open thread?

Is it really just me and Sill here? I’m breaking into the vodka, people.

Sill Bimmons

I sent you a Private Dick Joke.

It is not a dick joke.

entropy

if it is, I am not yet drunk enough to check.

Sill Bimmons

No.

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons
entropy

I can only handle “Bouncing Around the Room” and “Silent in the Morning” from Phish.

Sill Bimmons

PHISH AND CHILL BRO

entropy

I AM DRIBKING TO MAKE THIS TOLERABLE

Sill Bimmons

FANTASBIC

Sill Bimmons

Watching “Platoon” high for the first time ever is opening up some doors.

1. The scene where Chris gets high for the first time was almost exactly like mine if it had taken place in Vietnam instead of a fraternity house in Easton

🙁 Vietnam is seriously the most fucked up thing we’ve ever done to our soldiers

?~ We’ve re-established that Storm Troopers aren’t clones. That fantastically stupid bullshit, along with all the other fantastically stupid bullshit Lucas brought to the prequels, has been gloriously shitcanned now and forever. That being said, the stupidest thing of all in the prequels is armoring the Clone Troopers. Why would you care whether or not your clones lived or died? THEY’RE FUCKING CLONES. Armoring each individual clone must have cost the Republic an obscene amount of money, all to protect a prefabricated and inexhaustible source of cannon fodder. Is it because they didn’t want the enemy to be confronted with a giant sea of exploding Jango Fetts? GAHHHHHHHHHHHH THE PREQUELS ARE AN AFFRONT TO EVERYTHING

entropy

I also got high for the first time in Easton, just not at a fraternity house.

I did once fight an entire fraternity house at Lehigh, though. That was a bad night. I was doing OK until they remembered they were under no obligation to fight one at a time.

Sill Bimmons

You should illustrate my graphic novel.

I should write your graphic novel.

I’m going to try to send you a DM.

Sill Bimmons

Just locked myself into a completely accidental viewing of “Platoon.”

Fuck.

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WCS

http://screengrabber.deadspin.com/televangelist-finally-discovers-direct-link-between-nic-1761710161

PAWWWLLL HOWS COOD THE DEVIL BE NICK SABAN PAWL THE DEVIL AINT GITTIN NO FIVE-STARS REECROOTS AN’ WINNIN ESSS EEEE SEEE TITLES AN GOIN TO DA PLAYOFFS PAWLLLL

WCS

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Sill Bimmons

Stupid Flyers right on their heels.

That’s going to cause some in-law issues.

WCS

Carl fucking Hagelin has two goals today.

Brace yourselves. Cthulu is nigh.

Sill Bimmons

Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn WOO

WCS

3-1 Flightless Birds of Ice wooooo

scotchnaut

I’ve said it before, I might say it again…the last half hour of Predator (almost no dialogue) is a brilliant piece of film-making.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I will not disagree.
It is still one of my favorite movies.
Not just favorite horror or monster or whatever movies.
Some good dialogue as well, though.

“Bunch of slack-jawed faggots around here. This stuff will make you a goddamned sexual Tyrannosaurus, just like me.”

“Me too, mine’s as big as a house.”

Sill Bimmons

“I said, ‘Geez, you got a big pussy! Geez, you got a big pussy!’ She says, ‘Why did you say that twice?’ I said, ‘I didn’t!'”

WCS
theeWeeBabySeamus

Up yours scotchy.
/not really
//it actually wasn’t as bad as I expected

scotchnaut

We are a completely sketchy team. If we get in the tourney we’ll only win if we voodoo some team with our zone D.

theeWeeBabySeamus

You must channel Billy Witch Doctor. Us’n Wolven sorts won’t be needing him this year.
I am. Sofa Kind. We Todd Ed.
Now say all, very fast…
http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/9a/9a58d3571359fedb8057b83633b580fb3867bc642f915e0c54eb540908a85a5c.jpg

theeWeeBabySeamus

DAMMIT
I am. Sofa KING. We Todd Ed.

/not even sloppy drunk yet. WTF???

scotchnaut

I got yer sloppy drunk right over her, pal.

Sill Bimmons

I keep reading that as ARSE CHICKEN CHICKEN ARSE

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah….knock the shit out of Cooney.
/consolation prizes are underrated

Horatio Cornblower

Just got back from hiking and post-hike beer drinking with a couple of friends. There are two bald eagles that have taken up residence at the lake near our house. I bring the camera and zoom lens with me today to get photos. We walk out to the boat launch, which is an entire lake away from the dead trees Mr. & Mrs. Eagle hang out in. Put the binoculars on the trees and confirm they’re both there.

Now the plan is to hike through the woods and get closer to them and getting some really good shots. Just to be safe I decide to put the zoom lens on now and get them from the boat launch, which again is a couple hundred yards from the trees.

I put the camera bag down, attach the lens and am starting to get back up when my friend, who has had the glasses on them the whole time, says “Man, you’re gonna be pissed in a second.”

They took off pretty much just as I attached the lens. Fucking eagles man.

Tomorrow I’m gonna canoe out to those trees and coat them with DDT.

Sill Bimmons

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Unsurprised

— Santa Claus

theeWeeBabySeamus

We have several hawks that hang out in the general vicinity. I’ve gotten shots of them occasionally, but more often than not I have the same experience.
I have to tell you, it really pisses me off.

Sill Bimmons

Ice Blue Bombers 0 — 0 Ice Stillers end 1st.

Sill Bimmons

Gonna come right out and say it: The Patriot League does not deserve an automatic berth in the tournament.

The quality of play in the conference this season has been positively vomitous. There are STILL no 20-game winners and the MINIMUM number of losses is twelve. 12! THREE DIFFERENT TEAMS HAVE LOST TO LAFAYETTE

If Army and Navy weren’t holding up basketball and Fordham wasn’t holding up football the Patriot League would rightfully have descended into D-III obscurity at least a decade ago.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Horatio Cornblower

‘Deserves got nothin’ to do with it’ might be my favorite line from any movie ever.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Definitely in my top 3-5.

scotchnaut

Up by 7 with 5 and a half left.

/Cuse always ALWAYS makes it difficult

theeWeeBabySeamus

You now who you’re playing….right?

theeWeeBabySeamus

*know

scotchnaut

Thing is…it doesn’t matter who we play.

theeWeeBabySeamus

This is obviously your first time playing us this year.

ballsofsteelandfury

Kyle Busch wins Xfinity race!

/ducks rotten vegetables

theeWeeBabySeamus

I feel bad for ‘Cuse. Their RPI is likely to drop today from having had to play us.
/Bubble getting sketchy

WCS

PROTIP:

Never, ever feel bad for Syracuse.

scotchnaut

Come at me, cousin-fucker!

/puts up dukes

WCS

[loads frontier-style musket]
[[accidentally shoots self in the hand]]
[[[drops jug of mooonshine]]]

theeWeeBabySeamus

Misspells moonshine.
/just saying

Sill Bimmons

Amsterdam, the night of 6th December 2000.

I am unable to sleep, as my hotel room is right on the Damrak and things are quite noisy outside. It’s both a Champions League and UEFA Cup weekend, and the fans currently disrupting my slumber are ManUre fans celebrating their inevitable away curb-stomping of Sturm Graz by being typical English tourists.

I make my way to The Smoking Bull on the Lange Niezel, a small street that connects the north ends of the Red Light canals. The Bull is (was, I guess) a favorite because it’s one of the few places where you can get both a smoke and a drink.

http://www.dutch-coffeeshop-guide.nl/wp-content/uploads//2015/12/coffeeshop-smoking-bull-amsterdam-a0239398a6b8dbf05714cbf2f56893ed.jpg

It’s pretty late, and there are only a couple other small groups in the bar. One of those groups is the two exact guys in the banner photo. Upon hearing me order these two decide that I’m their long lost American cousin and start buying me drinks. I find out that they’re brothers from Glasgow in town to “Amsterdam” the second leg of Rangers’ UEFA Cup tie with Kaiserslautern the following evening. Rangers are up 1-0 and these gentlemen are feeling good about their prospects for advancement.

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Not being at all familiar with European football culture at the time I said something like “Oh, so this happens again tomorrow night?” One of them grabs me by both shoulders, looks me square in the eyes and says, “Bruvver, ye hav’ne seen NOOTHIN yet!”

He was right!

The following night shit just blowed up. I didn’t know you could fit so many shitfaced Rangers supporters into all of Glasgow, let alone central Amsterdam. Flags, puke, songs, puke, kilts, puke, bagpipers, puke, a burning car, puke. All night.

http://www.lettherebeneon.com/wp-content/gallery/open/all%20night.jpg

So It’s Sunday morning and I’m out to breakfast at Barney’s (best breakfast in Amsterdam)…

http://www.flyingpig.nl/whatson/images/barneys.jpg

…and five or six really rugged looking Rangers supporters walk in. They are seated next to me and I start asking them about the match the previous evening.

Not one of them knew who won or what the score was. Not. One.

For the record it was Kaiserslautern 3 — 0 Rangers, ending the Weegies short 2000 — 01 European run.

ballsofsteelandfury

That’s a great story.

WCS

The European equivalent of WVU fans,

theeWeeBabySeamus

You better look out scotchy. We have lured your boys into a sense of security.
Sadly…it is not a FALSE sense of security.

Wakezilla

Hello men, do we have the power to send out private messages? I can never get into my private message box to send one out.

Ice Argos continue to trade everyone away as Optimus Reim (and Jeremy Morin) has been traded to the Ice Raiders for Alex Stalock, forward Ben Smith and a conditional fourth-round pick in the 2018 NHL Entry Draft.

I’m not sure if this is a good move for the psychology of Jones. Us goalies are a super flakey bunch and this could shatter his confidence.

theeWeeBabySeamus

It’s ok…no need for PM. You can tell me publicly that you have a smoldering man love for me.

scotchnaut

I hate (HATE!) the Leafs but your Lamirillo/Babcock combo are the first guys in umpteen years to realize that this requires a complete tear-down. It’s about time band-aid solutions weren’t treated as “business as usual”.

Wakezilla

:

http://33.media.tumblr.com/f5d01f92586d305d68c720dcb8bc9768/tumblr_n1cl775f5U1ttoxpno1_r2_400.gif

YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH! I’m no Leafs fan!

I’m a fan of the Ice Alouettes

scotchnaut

Leafs and Canadiens fans are all the same…

/runs for the hills laughing the entire time

Spanky Datass

I saw a metal tribute band comprised of Texas employees of a noted burger and ice cream joint at the Reconsider Lounge last night. They call themselves Dairy Queensryche.

*This joke is stolen.
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Sill Bimmons
The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Vegans aren’t people

scotchnaut

Cuse up 23-18 with 5 left.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Showoff.

theeWeeBabySeamus

We got you right where you want us.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Starting to wish I’d opted for the baseball.
Could still make it by top 3rd if I leave now.
Sadly….I would earn myself a DUI in all probability. Or careen off I-40 into a tree. Or guardrail. Or something else really hard.
/drunk driving….not for pussies

theeWeeBabySeamus

Goddamn you WRAL in Raleigh you sorry fuckwits.
Goddamn you Butler and G’Town you sorry fuckwits.
Goddamn.
/sorry, can’t vent like this elsewhere.
//Hopes ‘Cuse isn’t up by double digits when this Butler/G’Town bullshit finally ends.

Sill Bimmons

Hope he turns out to be a better billionaire owner than the cheap assholes who bought Saints.

Can you imagine this team with Clyne, Schneiderlin and Lambert? Let alone Lallana?

BOYCOTT LIEBHERR HEAVY MACHINERY THEY’RE NOT PAYING THE BILLS ANYWAY

http://www.miningglobal.com/public/uploads/large/large_R9800_RSA.jpg

ballsofsteelandfury

Real lost to Atlético! Ha has ha ha!

Also, Ana Cobos hosted.

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scotchnaut

Happy to see that at least one sex doll has a career in the media. She’s so life-like!

Wakezilla

Wife and I like to go to this nearby restaurant for slightly above average Taco Tuesday and the restaurant always has a Mexican channel on. It’s always amusing to see how most of the female anchors in sports or news are real life sex bots.

The sad ones with the bad surgery makes me sad. Also, it goes back to what Heidi Klum once said “Don’t get plastic surgery before 40. Because that’s when shit really hits the fan.”

scotchnaut

Cardale Jones ran the 40 in 4.83! Is a wanking gesture appropriate?

theeWeeBabySeamus

That’s almost Shadrach Thornton territory.

Wakezilla

I see he pulled out with a “nagging” hamstring injury.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Some fat dude just won $18K at UVa for hitting a halfcourt shot. Dude sank it on the first try, giving schlubs nationwide (read: us’ns here) hope.
WTG dude.

laserguru

Thinking about seeing a movie today and I’ve narrowed it down to Room, The Big Short or Deadpool.
That’s an eclectic choice.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Yeah, but makeitsnow said one of the animated shorts has nudity…

laserguru

I’m sure we can track down a cartoon penis somewhere.

Moose? Are you out there?

ballsofsteelandfury

Deadpool. Trust me.

Wakezilla

Deadpool. It’s funny, has nudity in it and lots of violence. You can’t go wrong.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Sill Bimmons

Of course we couldn’t get the fuckers before the resurgence, oh no, couldn’t possibly have that…

http://cdn.meme.am/instances/23387075.jpg

Wakezilla

Fuck Chelski and their super racist fans.

Sill Bimmons

Only thing worse than Chelsea is West Ham.

Those people should be in cages.

laserguru

I can only assume that the neck hurting thing is a direct result of yesterday’s air guitar post.
I tried to give fair warning.

/bangs head

Spanky Datass

Eisen and Mayock are dangerously close to veering off the rails at the combine and it’s eeeeearly.
http://jokideo.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/308456_438401749535829_183425236_n.jpg

scotchnaut

Urban Meyer after the break! Things just got 30% douchier.

/I do like Mayock though-he seems to do his homework and is passionate about it.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I too am quite unmotivated today.
I blame chemtrails.

Don T

El Dérbi de Madrid: Atlético hosts Real, 2nd and 3rd place in La Liga right now. On beIN Sport at 9:55 EST. Hopefully Carmen Boquín will host.
http://i.ytimg.com/vi/xz3e1TcJGIk/hqdefault.jpg

Horatio Cornblower

Hopefully she’ll host it from my house.

ballsofsteelandfury

Carmen Boquin vs Ana Cobos.

WHO YA GOT?!?

Don T

Me Carmen; my wife, Ana.

scotchnaut

There’s one helluva game going down at 2 this afternoon…

theeWeeBabySeamus

Where’d scotchy go?? I gotta talk shit while I still can.
Awww damn, we’re already down 7 and it doesn’t even tip for another 5 hours. DOH!!!

scotchnaut

Cuse still has a shot at the tourney so I’ll be stupid during the game.

Son’s Friend: “Why is your dad yelling?”

Son: “Syracuse must be playing…”