After the standings tightened last weekend, the midweek fixtures loomed very large. Of the three main contenders, only Leicester played Tuesday…and managed only a disappointing draw against middling West Brom.
So, the door was wide open for the red-hot Spurs to take over 1st on goal differential, and Arsenal to get back within 3 points. And they both lost. Arsenal to relegation-threatened Swans. At least West Ham are on good form, but I don’t think that’s of much comfort to Spurs supporters right now.
Perhaps destiny shines brightly on Foxy Footy after all? Only 3 points maximum are available to its two rivals combined this weekend, since they square off super early Saturday morning (7:45 EST, NBCSN). Should Arsenal lose, it might be curtains for their title chances. Must see TV, despite the hour.
City (who also lost midweek, and are really in the shitter by their standards of late) get “Boston College of the Premiership” Aston Villa in the featured 10:00 match (NBCSN). Featured because somebody at NBC/Universal likes stroking it to snuff porn, apparently. There IS a competitive, interesting option in Everton/West Ham on the secondary coverage feed (USA). I am biased, but I do honestly think that’s the match to watch for the neutral fan.
Foxy Footy will know exactly where things stand when they kick off for the “evening” fixture (12:30, NBCSN) against Watford, even though big NBC isn’t picking this one up.
Sunday meh-day doubleheader is Palace/Shite (8:30), West Brom/Manure (11:00), both on NBCSN. Both asshole red teams are coming off impressive midweek showings, so perhaps/hopefully they will be overconfident and give me something to laugh about. Otherwise…not much to see here.
The FA Cup starts jumbling the schedule again next weekend, so buckle up. And remember…FOXES NEVER QUIT. (As a pill aficianado, I can appreciate that sentiment.)
Stupid, fucking pieces of shit.*
*Syracuse
YOU HAD TO HAVE THIS GAME!
http://57.media.tumblr.com/7b79d198b5eea67785bc01882af81f45/tumblr_nwz67rLSvp1u66f05o1_500.gif
http://57.media.tumblr.com/f11b17e11327b36f45786b01af7ad480/tumblr_njumvbV98z1roht8zo1_500.gif
Gawd, I hate my favourite team…
That’s what makes you a true fan, isn’t it?
Hate and self-loathing is how Jets fans survive.
We also have booze, opiates, and tits on our survival essentials.
And this sustains the rest of us.
Hell, now that Nacho is an Iggle, it sustains me, too.
I tell people often: It’s not love that defines fandom, it’s hate.
It’s OK, I hate your favorite team, too.
http://56.media.tumblr.com/0059db32dfdcd20ebe67cd1103a8c241/tumblr_o31gjl3Kk21qdvzawo1_1280.jpg
I took bourble to eleven last night. I blacked out, woke up to piss at 10:30, went back to sleep until 13:45. Wifey isn’t mad at me, and I can’t find any evidence on here that did anything too stoopid. I hope.
I started out late and slow last night, but powered through at the end (4:30-5 being the end) got a decent drunk going. I was up at 9-10 though to let the dog out.
Oh shit, I meant to add you didn’t do anything stupid and were actually too quiet for your drunk updates. I was hoping for some stoopid
I don’t recall anything stupid from ANYONE last night, honestly. Someone who isn’t on a phone (I.e., not me) should link to MTWV’s t-shirt story the way Unsurprised linked to mine, though because I love the fact he ran a drunken 5K barefoot.
Track Suits 30 Weirdo Baptists 27 halftime
http://56.media.tumblr.com/c1d8be6f2ef500d163c421c1ec652525/tumblr_o3hwg2Dzwt1skkfpco1_1280.jpg
Ain’t no party like a polka party.
entropy’s Coors Convention story (Page 3 of last night’s open thread):
Part 1: https://www.doorfliesopen.com/index.php/2016/03/04/i-couldnt-think-of-a-better-title-night-shift-thread/comment-page-3/#comment-144841
Part 2: https://www.doorfliesopen.com/index.php/2016/03/04/i-couldnt-think-of-a-better-title-night-shift-thread/comment-page-3/#comment-144869
Part 3: https://www.doorfliesopen.com/index.php/2016/03/04/i-couldnt-think-of-a-better-title-night-shift-thread/comment-page-3/#comment-144891
Truly inspirational.
Indeed
I will not rest until the entire DFO Army executes a similar exercise.
Johnson and Lee, Procurement and Consumption. My God, that was funny.
I think the only reason the VP didn’t have us escorted out was because I showed zero fear, and acted like I belonged there. Who the fuck were they to question me?
He should’ve dragged you onstage!
MEN! THIS HERE IS THE KIND OF BALL-SHRIVELING CONFIDENCE YOU NEED TO SELL OUR NEAR-FROZEN PISSWATER!
I’m surprised more folks here haven’t done something similar.
I can’t talk to people IRL.
I had that problem in my late teens, until I really decided to say fuck it. Who dares wins, my friend.
I’m 36. I’m fucked.
You can always learn how to talk to people. I just said fuck it all early.
It’s something learned. I was godawful socially until I was in my late 20’s. (I’m still not great, but I can wing provided I’m not a miserable or anxious mood.) One thing that helps is having a good friend or two with you. It has to be someone you’re really comfortable with who has a bit more chutzpah. Using someone else’s confidence helps *a lot*. I don’t think that whole convention stunt works unless it’s a team effort.
True. While I was the driving force behind that whole stunt, I think a lot of it was just refusing to back down in front of a friend. Also, having someone else with you allows you to seem less like a complete outsider.
Billy West pranking Baba Booey
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R12SKySSmNU
Since he’s in the news here’s my favorite tasteless joke:
Who was the last Jew to win the Heisman Trophy?
Fred Goldman
Immigration law: So easy, a 3 year old can do it?
“A senior Justice Department official is arguing that 3- and 4-year-olds can learn immigration law well enough to represent themselves in court”
“The man with the robe says I’m an anchor baby!”
To be fair, that’s roughly Trump’s level of understanding of immigration law.
My life in a single frame.
Gee. sus.
I have a friend–not a close one, but also more than an acquaintance– who is a fairly intelligent woman. This election though, oh man. She’s slowly letting the crazy out.
“How can Donald Trump possibly become president? Look at his wife! How can she be the First Lady?
I am all for empowering women; but you don’t deserve to be the First Lady when the world has seen your vagina and boobs, and your nude spreads are all over the Internet! She isn’t first lady material!”
Da fuq?
Tell her she’s right; women should be forced to wear burqas all the time and be struck for speaking in public.
Then slap her because she’s fucking insane.
At 2pm Ben Simmons is taking on the Kentucky Never-Studied Cats but I’ll be watching Cuse stumble their way to a lucky win/much-deserved loss.
Ah yes….Ben Simmons and LSU.
Yes, we beat them way back when the season had not yet become suicide inducing.
Think Foxy Footy has they mojo back. They look good again, and not afraid of the moment.
I can see the NBC Sports promo:
Mo’ Vardy! Mo’ Mahrez! Huth! Mo’ Leicester!
Good morning! I’m watching The Spurs/Arsenal match right now. I’m aware it’s taped, but I don’t know who won, so, it’s new to me!
Spoiler: David Seaman comes back and slaps Sol Campbell across the face.
I wouldn’t have it any other way. Tee heee hee. Seaman.
I was a young teen during the 98 World Cup and my friends and I loved playing FIFA 98 for the N64 and playing against and with England just so we could talk about Seaman.
On a related note, Fifa 98: Road to the World Cup is the greatest game ever.
http://56.media.tumblr.com/fc02c73845c177f3d5b667f9fb6e855c/tumblr_o3kpbt2CPn1qhe849o1_1280.jpg
Billy West does Evander Holyfield
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_9f78ZCx4Pw
If we lose to Wake on ACCT Tuesday I really might go forward with the “drink myself to death” endgame.
eh, tis a losing season regardless
Indeed. But it’s that whole insult/injury dynamic.
Mahrez! Woof.
WOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Speaking of Cat-
I have a huge weakness for under-sized guys that-for a ‘small’ period of time-could get things done. I loved Chris Jackson (LSU), Billy Donovan (his shit talking of Georgetown while on the foul line during Providence’s run to the Final Four is a great memory), David Cain during his senior year at St. John’s and 6′ 155 lb. Jay Burson of Ohio State. So much fun to watch.
And then…reality set it.
http://56.media.tumblr.com/aae17006d1705d36b95c023a276ed160/tumblr_o1ih2qpTAO1sejjwio1_500.jpg
There’s the Kitteh we love.
Too bad he’s working with the four stooges.
http://56.media.tumblr.com/3b5c82ab4d5b6b888a15ca780ee1cd2d/tumblr_nzrjl5wzAK1sqx8y7o1_1280.jpg
oh snap, forgot I can watch Lester instead
/not that they doing much better
http://57.media.tumblr.com/e8d9eee15a8dda9347983b01cfe312cc/tumblr_mghx8uPaTy1qlzc82o1_r1_500.gif
I finally put the game back on and I see the Irish Spolighting treatment has begun…
Cat is trying to win this by himself. (might succeed)
he always tries, rarely succeeds. It’s interesting to watch, don’t get to see a pure one-man band very often these days…
Man Gilbert Dice Gottfried went and ruined Ryan White’s funeral.
https://youtu.be/_xnzDdqTmHs?t=3m30s
When you force Howard Stern to get serious because he thought your comedy crossed the line you’ve accomplished something…
[presses edit button]
I thought it was a brilliant take down of The Dice but what do I know?
Bryant Gumbel made a Nipsey Russell reference. My first thought was “What? That’s ridiculous”. My second thought was “Damn it, I know who Nipsey Russell is…”
LMFAO.
Match Game motherfuckers (or motrehcukers…as bourblefozz might say).
http://57.media.tumblr.com/46d06ef5825391b15d30a3186e029ff7/tumblr_n5me0pJ6xH1qlzc82o1_r2_500.gif
Cat Barber’s fave player HAS to be Iverson, right?
Got 2 be.
He broke some of Iverson’s HS records, but I’m too lazy to look up which. Scoring was one I think….not sure if season or career.
/I am useless today
http://56.media.tumblr.com/fa5df3d18700b4406d0a3f42c10a99dd/tumblr_o3fa3ukUSc1rq1pj8o1_1280.jpg
Legalize the Nip
/also a rally cry during WWII internment camps
/too soon?
Also a cry for the ridiculous laws banning women from going topless.
Hey Hippo, just FYI in case you forgot….
Wolven Basketball on Ch17 right now with a 6 pt lead over ND.
Nope…make that 4.
I really want to hate this team because they suck.
But I can’t, because the put the effort in….and still suck.
But hey, 4 pt lead in South Bend. This could be the highlight reel of teh year.
And then POOF! the lead is gone.
That’s not a new sensation.
Glad Hippo is on display.
http://41.media.tumblr.com/58ad6b848ae4711f8138ae1f16e36984/tumblr_o2twuaH67s1qh9tafo1_1280.jpg
Dude on the butt end has a hole cut out of his apron I bet.
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-YWuW8f8ke8Y/Ux42Mk4-ZeI/AAAAAAAABi4/-Fy5hdDT_SU/s1600/065.JPG
What I meant was….
http://www.inspirational-quotes-short-funny-stuff.com/images/stupid-signs-zoo-hippo-splatter.jpg
Hot damn. That atmosphere at Watford is reverent as fuck.
Fuckin’ Saints.
Bye-bye Europe!
I need therapy after today, man. I am apparently gonna pay through the dickhole for that Super Bowl.
I feel your pain.
Steady decline across all sports spectrum since Ravens’ SB win.
I was about to finish the vodka when I remembered, “you are watching your nephew today.”
God dammit, today just seems made for day drinking, too.
Your Coors convention story was great. You reduced The Man to just men. Loved it.
Thanks. It’s one of the only positive experiences I’ve ever had with police
Sucks you’re just limited to beer.
Holy Shit Everton! Martínez won’t get out alive.
FUCK NO he won’t
Everton SHOULD have been 4-nil to the good with 10 men…
FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I mentioned to my wife that if I ever hosted an AirBNB I would refuse to accept reservations from Americans. She thought this was amazingly prejudicial, but I just think foreigners would be more respectful of your place and your stuff in deference to the fact that the stakes are a lot higher if they piss you off enough to kick them out.
So anyone who missed it, I highly recommend going and reading entropy’s Coors convention story from last night’s open thread. It’s three or four pages back, but well worth it.
Boy those English teams love the stutter-take penalty
/cat sails wide in direction guessed
To the extent anyone cares about the Germans, Leverkusen is working on an equalizer now. Under 10 to go. Pretty exciting pace from here on out
It looks like Ausburg is playing the all effective 8-1-1
I care about the Germans in that I’m always leery of how they treat my people.
The referee in the Everton game appears to have less respect for the Box than Ben Rothlisberger.
This is nominated as the banner comment.
I have to go get a quick haircut, (they get quicker by the month these days), and noticed that my barber has the worst google reviews ever. I must have low standards.
That haircut seems like it would take a while, actually.
Red Card on Everton.
Meanwhile in North Carolina: http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view1/3230585/hippo-poop-fan-o.gif
Breakfast:
Now while I am on the topic of streaming professional sports, the new NHL website has been nothing shy of a nightmare.
Rolling out a brand new format mid-season seems risky at best. This article shows how fouled-up the release was: https://medium.com/@jasongurwin/10-things-they-got-wrong-with-the-new-nhl-tv-55e199fd7e22#.nm2laslrr
How do you screw up coming back from commercials when you’re running a minimum 30 seconds behind the live broadcast?
I don’t understand why they did that. The old site was perfectly fine. Some idiot was probably trying to justify his job when they came up with the idea for a redesign.
I was excited because MLBAM really has their media on point and impeccably organized; not to mention their streaming is second to none. However, they just tried to do to damned much, all they needed was to make the video quality better and everyone would have been happy.
Honestly, if I worked for the NHL be so embarrassed I’d do what another person recommended: give people a refund and offer NHL.Tv at a reduced cost next season.
Also, Bourble Fozzie is one of my favorite people in the world. Last night’s thread is worth a morning read-through for entropy’s Coors convention story alone.
I’m just happy I was able to use BourbleFozz’s whole “rookie night” thing back against him an hour or two after he did it to me, and he didn’t notice.
Jesus I just went through that thread. There was some damn fine work done by everyone except the San Antonio PD.
I maintain they did a FINE job, sir.
No, I noticed it. Talking shit, and having it turned back against you was abou t90% of my college experience.
And the images.
Lukaku WOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Still hate him for how easily he scored against the US in the World Cup.
I just signed up (free) for NBC Sports live and it’s pretty good. Granted, I’m going off five total minutes of having it and sleek designs give me a hard-on so I am biased.
On another note, I despise in-game tickers and spoilers in all of their forms. I wanna watch the event at hand, not hear about some dopey news during the game!
Well, time for some poppers.
stream quality is really good and I think you can turn the other scores etc off
You can but goddamned NBCSN put them planted in the right hand corner during the game. GRRRRR, just give me the update at halftime and post-match!
Outstanding work to everyone in the open thread last night!
I feel asleep before Moose showed up and you guys started posting pics. Well fucking done!
Also, great t-shirt story, MTWV!
I can’t find the DFO app, can I watch Balls eat breakfast on a twitch stream?
You have to remove the parental filters; the app is under “pantsless streaming.”
Ironically enough, my breakfast on weekends is usually ordered through the Taco Bell app.
Well then you certainly should be eating breakfast sans pants, as that will save time.
Pants on weekends? You may still be in bourble!
Last night’s open thread was good stuff – as was the bourble I poured down my throat – gotta go through the AFL website with a clear head and see who in hell I’m rooting for.
I’m pretty sure Sill assigned you Collingwood.
House of Cards season 4 sucks. However, Dominique McElligott is a very pretty and sexy Irish redhead who manages to help make Joel Kinneman act like he’s sort of human.
Then Arsenal get a red, and their backup keeper gets hurt (stays in, but still) and it’s 2 goals just like that.
Better keep winning, Foxy Footy. Two horse race.
Arsenal strike first at White Hart Lane, after their dire home loss mid-week.
Footy, amirite??
Arsenal should totally be the name of a Texas-based team.
Imagine the players’ entrance on to the field.
Jerry Jones would be creaming his pants
Trouser bullets.
That was hilarious.