Awaking From the Basketball Coma (Sunday No-Funday Preview)

The last day of the coma is always such a bummer, because all I can think about is how close to being over it is, and the looming specter of fucking Monday. Also FUCK YESTERDAY.

7S Iowa vs. 2S Villanova (12:10, CBS)

The ultimate acid test in “just how cursed is Jay Wright?” Iowa did everything in its power to choke away its 1st round game, yet somehow beat Temple on an OT buzzer-beating tip-in. Still, they give the impression of being held together with duct tape and chicken wire at the moment.

14E Stephen F. Austin vs. 6E Notre Dame (2:40, CBS)

Not exactly the matchup the suits expected when this game was allotted an exclusive national slot, I’m guessing. The Irish are pretty consistent offensively, so I doubt the cards are there for SFA to beat the house again and crash the Sweet Sixteen party. They still have the tourney’s best beard, though…

10W VCU vs. 2W Oklahoma (5:10, CBS)

These aren’t the Rams of yesteryear, Boomer Sooner should roll in this one. Iowa State has already slain its early round demons, so perhaps Lon Kruger gets to do the same. Would love to see both squadrons in the Final Four.

15MW Middle Tennessee vs. 10MW Syracuse (6:10, TNT)

Jim Boeheim’s briliant “win one for Scotchy!” motivational campaign is paying off, even working reverse mojo on Sparty. I have no idea if the Blue Raiders will even get off the bus for this one, coming off the immense sugar high of Friday’s fun.

13S Hawaii vs. 5S Maryland (7:10, TBS)

I have been wrong in all of my similar pronouncements…but I think this will be a very fun game to watch for the neutral viewer. The Rainbow Warriors could give the Turtle significant trouble, but a veteran team won’t fold as easily as Cal did.

11W Northern Iowa vs. 3W Texas A&M (7:40, truTV)

For two more hours tonight, truTV gets to be a thing again! Hashtag, suckmyass.

7E Wisconsin vs. 2E Xavier (8:40, TNT)

Unleash your inner Catler, everybody. DOOOOOOONNNNNNN’T CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRE

8W St. Joe’s vs. 1W Oregon (9:40, TBS)

Will I DVR this, just in case Toddler Blood Martelli pulls it off? MAYBE.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Sill Bimmons

AND THE HUMILIATION BEGINS

WCS
Sill Bimmons

YAH WBS WOO

Sill Bimmons

oh its good oh yes

scotchnaut

Props to Hippo for nailing Middle Tenny’s lukewarm response to their mighty upset of Spartacus.

scotchnaut

Don’t even start on that guy! He’s one of my small handful of childhood heroes that has not disappointed me.

/might have something to do with him dying before his time…

JustStopDude

José Mourinho is getting at least $21 million…if United chooses someone else as their manager.

I’m in the wrong fucking business…

laserguru

My brother is lightening the mood by telling the story of his dead less than 1 year old grandson.
Jesus.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Horatio Cornblower

He’s reading it for the articles.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Sill Bimmons

FUCKING 4TH LINE AGAIN AGAIN I DON’T BELIEVE IT

Sill Bimmons

YAH MUTHAFUCKAH

JustStopDude

Old kid’s books were scarier back in the day…

http://i.imgur.com/VYC8b.gif

scotchnaut

There’s nothing wrong with Northern Iowa.*

*the team, not the place

laserguru

A sneak peak into next week.
Hey! Shh but the cute blonde from the Superb Owl party is here and I’m working my game.
Don’t tell anyone.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Depends on how big her fingers are.
/rimshot
//yeah that pun was also intentional

theeWeeBabySeamus

We shall live vicariously thru you…but quietly.
(wooooo)

Sill Bimmons

Just remember: Slow Cosby.

S-L-O-W C-O-S-B-Y

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Sill Bimmons

SOMEBODY IS YOU DIRECTIONLESS DIRECTIONAL

{3/18/2016–3/20/2016}

http://www.macphoenix.com/_images/creative/blog/boc-tombstone.png

JustStopDude

It always kind of amazes me how these small school power houses are able to recruit. I mean a lot of these schools are in the middle of fucking nowhere.

Like have any of you been to Bloomington, Indiana? There is fuck all there.

Sill Bimmons

Yeah, but Blookington is all Indiana U.

Plus the Aura and Mystique.

Sill Bimmons

/m

JustStopDude

I mean its kind of just weird that you would think schools with more shit around them would be able to recruit better. Same for all sports really.

If I had my choice of a full ride to USC or Notre Dame…I mean it would be a no brainer.

ND all the way…fat chicks are my thing!

Horatio Cornblower

Goddammit Sill that picture is going to cost us $155 million!

Sill Bimmons

We haven’t even had penicillin for one hundred years.

Can you imagine where we’ll be in the next hundred?

JustStopDude

http://images.entertainment.ie/images_content/rectangle/620×372/VirtualP.gif

I’m not exactly looking forward to the future…

Sill Bimmons

You don’t have to.

You’re going to be dead!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I wish that antibiotics would fall out of fashion the way that vaccines have, then maybe they’ll start to be effective again.

Sill Bimmons

THE POINT BEING

Spanky Datass

Referring back to the tentacle/lady parts mini-thread earlier in the day: Did we, at the old place, have a fetish bracket tourney/kommenter vote thingy or was it just a fever dream of mine?
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Sill Bimmons

Those days are lost in a haze of vodka fumes and I can’t go back and review my comment history so I got nothing.

Spanky Datass

Yep, bourble has harmed my memory as well and I think(?) I could but never actually would sign in again at suxroxx.
http://www.fenvy.com/media/catalog/product/RM-4626.jpg
Women in a cat costume is a perfectly health fetish … right?

Sill Bimmons

NOAP

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Horatio Cornblower

KSK did a fetish tournament years ago and some of that shit still haunts my dreams.

And when I say ‘shit’ I mean shit.

Sill Bimmons

LET’S GO
DIRECTIONLESS
LET’S GO
DIRECTIONAL
LET’S GO
DIRECTIONLESS
LET’S GO
DIRECTIONAL
LET’S GO
DIRECTIONLESS
LET’S GO
DIRECTIONAL
LET’S GO
DIRECTIONLESS
LET’S GO
DIRECTIONAL
LET’S GO
DIRECTIONLESS
LET’S GO
DIRECTIONAL
LET’S GO
DIRECTIONLESS
LET’S GO
DIRECTIONAL

scotchnaut

Sure looks like Cuse is Sweet Sixteen’ing it.

scotchnaut

I GOT THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[uses one phone call to ask wife to bail me out]

Sill Bimmons

4TH LINE HOLY MOTHER OF FUCK WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Sill Bimmons

hell’s bells

Sill Bimmons

This Ice Stillers — Ice Washingtons hockey contest is very distressing to me right now.

JustStopDude

If the Terps lose to the fucking Rainbow Warriors…I will show up to work bitter, angry, and intoxicated…which will not be good..

Sill Bimmons

Go Terps.

theeWeeBabySeamus

They can win today. It will give me points to make my bracket slightly less fuckeduppity.

Sill Bimmons

FLEURY YOU FUCKING IDIOT

Moonbatting Average

I would love to see the Sooners go boom

Moonbatting Average

Or not ?

ThePirateSloth

– OSZ and I are here drinking some beer, cheering for UH. You’ll find us in the corner if you swing by

Spanky Datass

Aw man! I’m half drunk, I just lit the grill and I’m two thousand miles away … maybe next time?
http://www.huntspoint.com/media/catalog/product/cache/2/image/700×700/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/w/a/wagyu-strip-steaks_4_3.jpg

Sill Bimmons

yo

thats some extensive marbling

Spanky Datass

yep
wagyu
mine aren’t nearly that nice .. or expensive

Sill Bimmons

i was thinking a5 on the photo

Sill Bimmons

If you’re going to be stuck on the bench anyway you may as well do The Inflatable:

http://cdn.instructables.com/F16/XBSQ/HNKGH8UO/F16XBSQHNKGH8UO.LARGE.gif

Horatio Cornblower

Dee you goddamn bitch.

Sill Bimmons

UCONNT KNOW HOW SORRY I AM FOR YOU BRO

scotchnaut

GO SILLYCUSE!!!

Sill Bimmons

oh fuck yes

Sill Bimmons

4TH LINE AGAIN WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

herodotus450

Rust, with an assist from Cole? “The puck is just a flat circle, man”

Sill Bimmons

4th line (Rust, Kuhnhackl, Sheary) has been incredible.

All three started the season in Wilkes-Barre.

herodotus450

I almost feel sorry for people who think the Caps are going to win the cup; they’re the Capitals, of course they will lose in the first two rounds!

Sill Bimmons

There’s something that seems less squirrelly about them this year.

herodotus450

Yeah, their backup goalie has better stats than holtby (who’s the Vezina frontrunner?) which to me means they are just a very good defensive team. Seems like their problem has always been being reliant on scoring and power play goals (looking at you Ovechkin) in particular, which you can’t do in the playoffs.

Horatio Cornblower

Hotlby’s a better goaltender than they’ve had in the past but they’re still the Capitals and they’ll still find a way to fuck it up.

Sill Bimmons

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Senor Weaselo

Evening everyone. Solid concert last night, so I should be running off that high. But the cat’s been missing since Friday (which means the worry began yesterday because “Oh, she’s just skulking about, she’ll be back in soon.”), we assume (and hope) in some neighbor’s garage. So far no luck.

Sill Bimmons

Better luck.

Horatio Cornblower

One of our cats disappeared for 11 days in the dead of winter a few years back. She came back when it snowed out.

We had to amputate her tail due to the injuries she’d picked up in whatever fight sent her away in the first place.

But she did come back and she’s still outside.

Sill Bimmons

Need to beat these Ice Washingtons tonight.

Sill Bimmons

From the About Fucking Time Department:

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Spanky Datass

Air Force One over Havana vis Reuters.
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Sill Bimmons

Interesting Notre Dame fact:

Bowl record 17–18 (.486)

...

A symbol of the school’s entire identity.

Sill Bimmons

A place that used to think it was too good for Italian people.

Horatio Cornblower

Olive Garden?

Buudy Hield has a Luis Suarez-class set of chompers.

...

I read “Toddler Blood Martelli” as “Toddler Blood Martini” and wondered if that’s how far some of these high-end cocktail bars are willing to go to justify $20 per drink.

ThePirateSloth

I finally started watching Daredevil last night. God damn that hallway scene in episode 2. God. Damn. It was so well done.

Horatio Cornblower

I stopped watching it soon after that episode. I’m told it doesn’t get better.

ThePirateSloth

DAMMIT

I hate Notre Dame

Spanky Datass

Nacogdoches has a sad.

...

Of all the schools to hate, Notre Dame needs to be high on your list.

Somehow it’s managed to cultivate an image of eliteness when it’s a pedestrian school both academically and athletically. It’s in a shithole of a city (South Bend) in a shithole of a state (Indiana) and somehow has a national following because Irish and Catholic and Brian’s Song. If it weren’t for its overrated football program, no one would know where it is.

In short: Fuck Notre Dame.

Sill Bimmons

This would be a lot more fun if Verne wasn’t going full Brittany Andrews on Miserable 4th Floor here.

Doktor Zymm

The lyrics make no goddamn sense, except for that thing about fish, but Nirvana is still goddamn genius.

Sill Bimmons

ADAM MORRISON 2.0

The Maestro

Good afternoon, you fine people! Hope everyone is doing well. Looking forward to sitting down to more basketball fun and games – I was out this morning at a car show looking at Bugattis and Lambos. It was fun. Anyways, I have a question that I’m hoping someone can answer here.

So my girlfriend works at a high-end kitchen supply store as a part-time job, selling ridiculously fancy and expensive shit to people with more money than brains. Anyways, apparently someone came in today and dropped 70 bucks on four little bars of soap. 70 bucks.

How the fuck can anyone justify buying soap this expensive? I would stink forever before spending 70 fucking dollars on goddamn soap. What is so special about this soap that justifies this price?

Anyways, rant over. Anyone with any thoughts on this matter has the floor.

ballsofsteelandfury

All I have to say is that your girlfriend is on the right side of that racket.

Doktor Zymm

No one is smart in every aspect of their life, and sometimes they make money by being smart in one way, and spend it by being dumb in another. I make money being good at problem solving and statistics, I spend it by being bad at people and associated things. I don’t spend $70 on soap, but if doing that makes someone happy, good for them.

...

While I can not imagine spending $70 on bars of soap, I have spent that much on single bottles of booze before, so I really don’t have any place to shit on people who spend stupid amounts of money on specific things.

Don T

Personal higiene above all. Unless giving hermitism a shot. Then spend $70 on designer rocks and sticks.