Now that our last dumb-assed international break is over, it’s nut-cuttin’ time for sure. And only one story is really worth following anymore – can everyone’s favourite underdog, Foxy Footy, hold off Spurs for the title? Theoretically, Arsenal still has a ghost of a chance, but in poker terms, it’s a “one out-er.”
Leicester start play on 66 points, Spurs 61, Arsenal 55 (but with a game in hand). Here are the matchups to follow:
Arsenal kick off first, as the featured match of the 10:00 EST window against free-falling 14th place Watford (NBCSN). You could always flip over to USA for some hot relegation action between Norwich and Newcastle (a loss would pretty much doom the Barcodes).
Next, Spurs have a tough matchup against the Redshite (12:30, big NBC). With 2 games in hand, Europa isn’t completely off the table for the rat bastards, so they have more to play for than just spoiler pride.
Especially if Spurs prevail, Leicester face massive pressure in the Sunday early fixture, with a tough home date against 7th place Southampton on deck (8:30, NBCSN). In all likelihood, this will be the most fun game to watch this weekend.
Least fun? The one that follows, my Blues walking into Old Trafford (11:00, USA) after a shitty break with face of the franchise Romelu Lukaku – apparently finally having had enough – making public comments about being ready to hit the road for greener pastures. Nice job shitting the pitch all season, Roberto Martinez. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out. As for Big Rom…Evertonians will ALWAYS love you no matter what.
Somebody around here needs to make some chili…
[exits thread]
Adam Lallana you fucker.
he demanded the xfer?
Does it matter?
HE LEFT AND MY HEART LIES BROKEN ON ST MARY’S PITCH
Gosh, I wonder who is the #1 Giant of all time?
http://i.usatoday.net/communitymanager/_photos/game-on/2011/10/26/simmsx-large.jpg
I kid, I kid.
What? No Cyclops?
Prometheus. He got his liver eaten for your sins
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_VFYuAlZ9trY/TCDtsyjTI6I/AAAAAAAACf8/5grqrTGvRNs/s1600/1967+Tom+Kennedy.jpg
Don’t go obscure on me, Sill.
The Football Factory is on Netflix and I can watch it immediately!
These friends of my wife need to leave now.
How many? And more importantly, are they hot and morally questionable?
4 of ’em. My wife’s best friend from high school and her three kids. I could tell stories about the friend but a gentleman doesn’t tell.
If you had the power to do so…what regional chain would you wipe from the face of the earth?
I’m going with Dunkin Donuts. According to something I read by a “very” prominent guess-oligist, that chain purchases 75% of all sugar imported into the United States. They need to go away.
You die and go straight to hell.
I’d rather not-Dunkin Donuts will be there.
There’s no way that stat about sugar is correct.
And I would pick Hobby Lobby, cause fuck them.
That’s true.
The US is a net exporter of sugar and we pay through the nose for the sugar we eat.
http://www.heritage.org/research/reports/2014/06/us-trade-policy-gouges-american-sugar-consumers
Goddamn. Guessologist didn’t give that away?
Taco Bell.
I no longer have any use for that establishment.
I had a really good strong wrist in high school…
(ahem)
Sorry, out-of-context, but apparently it’s a pre-requisite for goalkeepers, so Maybe I should have played keeper in high school.
Although a better option may have been all the girls that kept me from scoring.
What’s on the teevee? I ain’t going anywhere, there’s snow, 30+ mph winds, and pea sized hail out there.
SAWKER
Oh yeah? Well we’re under a moderate pollen warning.
(upper 60s and sunny)
We have rain. No snow until Monday, which is baseball’s Opening Day.
Connecticut spring weather fucking rules.
I’m always entertained when they have to delay or cancel a baseball game due to cold. Buncha wusses.
It’ll be like ’96 all over again, woo!
There’s your draw rescued.
Dammit! Didn’t realize I was 10 mins. behind.
If I had a nickel…
Lana Kane….GOOOOOAAAAAALLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Holy shit! What touch and strike.
He’s good. May have the look of a real weenie…but good at teh footy.
Draft Kings advert at Anfield. Somebody get Hippo an antiemetic.
That was a pretty move.
You guys miss me yet?
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/02/28/21/2774786F00000578-3468435-image-a-7_1456695092909.jpg
Ian Cole you dumb fuck.
Go Liverpoolz…yay.
Yeah Brazil. Coutinho does not deserve to be a starter on the national team.
Meanwhile Dortmund and Bremen play to a scoreless tie on Fox.
Figures Fox carries the most Teutonic of the soccer leagues.
Isn’t the Bundesliga “How many points will Bayern win the title by?”
As I understand it, yes.
It has been recently.
OK…maybe yellow has lost its lustre.
/watching 10 Greatest Giants on NFL Network
Mel Hein played center on O and defensive lineman/linebacker/cornerback(!) on D. He won league MVP as a center.
Something tells me that’s not gonna happen again.
I’m in your corner on this comment.
I haven’t seen this much shitty passing since Tebow retired
You should have seen me making a pass at numerous girls at bars in the 80’s…
Dear lord, it appears Aston Villa’s chaps have put on Liverpool and Tottenham jerseys at the half.
Or maybe they just all got high during the break.
Yikes.
Watching the match during the Isles’ power play.
Fuck both of these teams with the Jaws Of Life.
Has anyone here ever seen the English hooligan film “The Football Factory?”
I….have not.
I’ve watched the TV series The Real Football Factories. That was scary enough.
Is it filled with sadness? I only watch films about factories of sadness.
It’s pretty good. The book is better.
Funnily enough, the book is about a Millwall firm but the movie is about a Chelsea firm–ultra-right hardcore firms that FUCKING HATE EACH OTHER.
But the filmmakers decided that everyone in the UK hated Millwall so much that nobody would go to see the it if they made it true to the book. At the time Chelsea was still a low- to mid-table shite club playing in a shite ground with shite fans and no one had ever heard of Roman Abramovich, so they went with them instead. Millwall fans lost what tiny fucking minds they had and firebombed a local cinema that was premiering the film.
Good times.
Alright…who the hell let an American into the studio?????
If you want to see some free-flowing voetbal with kickass Spanish announcers, AZ Alkmaar are playing PSV Eindhoven at 1:30 on Univision.
Did you know that the Netherlands used to be a Spanish protectorate?
http://static.newworldencyclopedia.org/thumb/3/3e/Map-1579_Union_of_Utrecht.png/250px-Map-1579_Union_of_Utrecht.png
Yep. “He left his spear in Flanders” is still an idiom that’s used. And a dynamite episode of Smithers fan fiction.
Welsh coal miners have strong opinions about the Treaty of Utrecht
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDmmeJOGKXY
/sigh
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Union_of_Utrecht
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Treaty_of_Utrecht
Let’s not turn this into coal miner’s battle Sill.
Wow…nice save by the Totty wearing all yellow.
See Norwich….lose the pink.
“One goalie in pink, 2-1 odds you’ll stink”
The Shocker! The new chant taking the Premier League by storm!
I don’t remember them calling it The Shocker over there.
I think it was called the Oopsie Tiddledybump or something.
Lloris is fucking boss, in case you didn’t know already. FUCK, what I wouldn’t give to have him in an Everton shirt…
That was a pretty good save indeed. I believe the correct British term is “lovely”
At the beginning of the match, I’d swear I heard the announcers say something about it being a lovely evening in Liverpool for a romantic climax….or words to that effect.
“What about me?”
-“BRILLIANT!”
The wiener dogs, or miniature horses…or whatever the fuck they’re supposed to be…running around on the sideline video ad board are really distracting.
Oh good…it changed….WTF is Jack Wolfskin? Sounds like a brand of condom I’d just as soon not sample.
“Jack Wolfskin condoms; when you’re an American Werewolf in London”
An officially licensed product of the Wolf Cola ™ family
Note how the announcers are sympathetic for Sturridge rather than slating him for bottling such an easy chance. THAT is the “Sky Five” media bias, and a microcosm of how/wht Rooney and Gerrard got a free pass in the UK media for the last World Cup bedshitting (and Everton’s Jagielka and Baines got scapegoated).
LMFAO, Sturridge
Methinks I want a draw in this one. Sorry, Foxes, best I can do when the Shite are playing your competition.
There’s always the meteor?
ah yes, meteor. Letting me down in Dook/U*NC fixtures since I first became sentient (around 1977?)
Fleury
Unable to play
Concussion
Kill me now
That’s not how you spell ‘Benghazi’ Sill.
Woo, chance to take back second?
/Rangers are probably going to lose in OT to spite me and make my Ice Bills fan friend mock me
//Still probably not gonna get with her either
Just score 6! Old skool Ice Stillers WOO!!!!!
When I lived in the UK I saw what was, until now, the funniest thing that ever happened in English football.
Millwall finished as runners-up in the FA Cup which automatically qualified them for the UEFA Cup tournament.
Yup, Millwall in Europe was pretty funny!
Leicester winning the whole thing will make that seem like being Ludavico’d for a 24-hour Broad City/Workaholics/Not Safe marathon.
http://neurologues.qwriting.qc.cuny.edu/files/2013/05/ACWO_Ludovico.jpg
And how did Millwall do in European competition?
I don’t know, but their fans probably won.
They went down 4-2 on aggregate to Hungarian OTP Bank Liga champions Ferencváros.
I heard that the fans fought it to a draw somewhere out near Heathrow.
Couldn’t have a big inter-firm brawl in the city even back then.
Milwall is currently 6th in England AAA. So they clearly made the most out of it.
I think someone got Ana Cobos preggers…
As Gob would say “when you get those pregnant, they STAY pregnant, if you know what I mean.”
Until 50, then…
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view1/1898990/balloon-deflate-o.gif
BeIn has a 2 hour pre-game show to El Clásico that just started now. Even I’m not crazy enough to watch the whole thing.
Great come back Swans; good tie.
http://myfreightstaff.ph/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/Good-Job-thumbs-fjdklaj-1024×1024.jpg
Not even a derisive mention of El Clásico, which is being played today in Barcelona? Go BeIn!
Is Real even worth a fuck this year? I thought NAWT.
They’re in 3rd place in La Liga and still alive in the Champions League, so worth a fuck is a relative term.
Isn’t that the lowest they are allowed to finish under Spanish statute?
And the crowd goes wild…
What a fucking game!
Agreed. Way better than that Aston Villa/Chelsea abortion.
Idiotic handball ,, smgdh
Swoffie in charge of these officials?
And the Norwich keeper was wearing way too much pink to be able to stop that shot in any case.
WOO!!!! Norwich’s cool black guy strikes right back.
Cool black guys are cool.
well, fuck. Barcodes are level.
The Watford goalie is taking more balls to the face than Elton John at a 70’s key party.
No Rebecc-er in the studio. Depressing.
She’ll be on between games, right after she finishes with the slight inconvenience of childbirth.
She’s a fit bird that one.
Crying Newcastle troglodyte chill’uns. Prepare thine gifs.
That banner is freaking me out. I keep imagining the tattoo artist having to lift up the folds of fat to get the edges of the back and all of the arms.
My God do I hate fat people.
I just wonder what happens to his ink if’n he surprises us all and decides to get fit?
Unequal contraction….?
Wow. Maybe it’s just me, but this seems like a rather extreme sentiment.
Not if you’re stuck behind that fucker at the game and can’t see 2/3 of the pitch.
I was invited by special invitation to attend an event at the brewery today. There’s this local cheese company that is going to pair their various cheeses with various beers produced at the brewery.
A cheese and beer flight if you will.
There is nothing about that statement that sounds bad.
More cheese please.
Went to something similar while in WA state, but of course it was wine and cheese. Did bring back some great cheeses though – a caramelized onion cheddar which is fantastic on burgers and “Vampire Slayer” which is a cheddar made with fresh garlic, roasted garlic, garlic salt and garlic oil. The guy next to me on the plane leaned the other way the entire flight.
The world truly needs to know how well garlic and cheddar get along.
It’s our next peanut butter and chocolate but much more savory.
What’s your position on peanut butter and banana?
I’m not sure.
I don’t have any peanut butter on hand.
I’ll get back to you.
Good God Aston Villa is terrible.
Inorite????
Maybe the worstest I’ve seen since I’ve started following the Prem. Methinks they see the maths and have given the fuck up. Not that they were much better when still trying, mind you.
The Boston College of British Footy.
But hey, at least the AV Hooligans are happy….no, wait.
Is there a draft for the Premier League? Could they be tanking?
There is a THEORY that unscrupulous ownership could maximize profits by taking the last round of TV money, the “parachute” payment for getting relegated, strip the squad of all its assets, and then sell the shell.
Fucks the fans right in the arse.
But that doesn’t make any sense; Stan Kroenke owns Arsenal, not Aston Villa!
Woooooo, relegation! We need that in almost every American sport.
Is Aston Villa an expansion club? Because they kinda appear to suck.
This chick Chelsea is taking them behind the woodshed so far.
Wow…I just looked at the standings. Aston Villa seems to have earned every bit of that last place position. Geez they suck. How the fuck did they even win 3?????
I hope Lukaku stays in Everton. In my dream scenario, Everton ends on a hot streak, Lukaku stays, Roberto leaves to coach the Ivory Coast national team, and next year in a Manchester tea house Pep Guardiola kicks Mourinho in the groin, but falls down Inspector Clouseau style, and the Vine of that gets the Best Foreign Film Oscar.
I just somehow, someway, want ONE MOAR YEAR. WIth the new ownership and a new manager, maybe we can do something special with Big Rom and he can be off to Bayern or PSG on a happy note.