Last night, the San Diego Padres made history by being the first team ever to be held scoreless through 27 consecutive innings (3 full games) to start their season, after losing 7-0 to the visiting Los Angeles Dodgers and marking a 9 game losing streak against their rivals dating back to last season. The record was previously held by the 1943 St. Louis Cardinals at 26 innings, giving the “Best Fans in Baseball” something to be happy about, other than watching Jon Jay play center field in Petco Park.

The pitiful record should have in fact been avoided. During the 6th inning of last nights game, Cory Spangenberg was called out after sliding feet first into home plate on a very close play.  Rookie Manager Andy Green challenged, and the replay shows Spangenberg making contact with the plate before being touched with the ball. Surprisingly, the umpires disagreed, and upheld the call on the field.

Now, I’m not saying that there is an officiating conspiracy going on against the Padres, (they don’t need anyone’s help to lose games,) but the crew and the officials in New York got this play wrong, and it’s fucking ridiculous this early into the season. Even the Dodgers TV crew were surprised at the call. Isn’t the reason video replay was dragged into baseball in the first place was so that we could avoid this shit? Jesus Christ…

To make matters worse, Dodgers starting pitcher, Kenta Maeda, who made his MLB debut last night after being imported from Japan, crushed a rocket, single run home run in the 4th, accounting for more offense than the entire Friars roster have been able to so far this season. Yes, that’s right. On his second career at bat, a Japanese pitcher who has never faced major league pitching before, scored more points than the entire Padres roster has in 3 games! GAHHHHHHHH! /Claws own eyes out

After the game, Manager Green gave these uplifting words to the media. “There is still perspective here not to be lost… We do have 159 games left. We will score runs this year, and we will win series this year.” High bar, Coach. High bar.

Of course, all of this is happening after an off-season where Padres management has been very #Upforwhatever by cramming as much advertising into Petco Park as humanly possible, including partnering with As Seen On TV companies like OxyClean, and tearing down the few retired numbers dotting the outfield in order to display a casino’s logo. According to management, this was to put the retired numbers in “a more prominent location.” Bullshit. Don’t spit on my cupcake and call it frosting.

The Padres head to hitter-friendly Coors Field on Friday to play the Rockies, where I assume their bats will come alive, but every player will somehow forget how to throw a ball, causing them to forfeit.

…When is football back again?

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