Your “Thank God It’s Almost Over” Friday Open Thread

Not much on the NFL front today; remember – it’s three weeks to the draft. Everybody’s plotting and machinating in advance of picking the person everyone expects them to take. Except Jimmy Haslam – he’s out trying to find another magic draft hobo. Too bad there’s no direct rail link from San Francisco.

Just like that, Mike Brown read the Skyline Chili residue – and it said to sign Marv Lewis to a one-year extension. CHUH CHUH!

D’Brickashaw Ferguson retiring is the big deal of the day. Here is your complimentary, final reminder that his name came from “The Thorn Birds”. The star was Richard Chamberlain, who played the part of a priest, Father Ralph de Bricassart, who struggled with his religious calling and a romance with a female. His parents Edwin and Rhunette Ferguson modified it to D’Brickashaw.

Y’know, typical lineman meets cheerleader fare.

Sure nice of John Podesta – Hillary’s campaign advisor –  to introduce aliens into the US election news cycle. I was afraid they hadn’t gone far enough with all of the rhetoric, so it feels right that the lizard people now get their chance in the spotlight. It seems less of a policy decision and more of a paid promo for the new “Independence Day” movie.

So tense! I’d be worried about Earth, if there weren’t two sequels already booked.

I don’t know about my fellow Canadians and their teams, but the merciful end of the Canucks season this weekend means more free time waiting for the NFL draft. Especially since years of terrible decision-making leads me to believe the Ice Liouns will end up trading their good picks for a bag of pucks and some Super Socco.

Because Hi-C with Ectoplasm wasn’t allowed across the border.

Take me out to pasture, because this season’s finished!

NHL: Columbus @ Buffalo – 7:00

CHL Playoffs:

  • QMJHL: Gatineau @ Moncton – 6:30
  • OHL: Kitchiner @ London – 7:30
  • WHL: Brandon @ Moose Jaw – 8:30

NBA: (10 games total)

  • Pacers @ Raptors – 7:30
  • Grizzlies @ Mavericks – 8:30
  • Clippers @ Jazz – 9:00

I’m seeing Iron Maiden this weekend, and expect to be deaf in school on Monday morning. I regret nothing. UP THE IRONS!

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Subscribe
Notify of
486 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

There is nothing to regret; great combination.

*Unless you are wearing pants.

Unsurprised

What about Pie Pants?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
laserguru

For King Hippo and the fans of the opiates.

Did I post this already?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Don T

This week, on Saddest Prison Smuggle Busts:

Unsurprised

Now that it’s spring, I want every dog in this godforsaken city to maul their shithead owners to death.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
laserguru

That’s a nice tater.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

lotta postage tho.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

Just remembered to mention that this stuff is fucking delicious: hybrid cider-beer.
https://untappd.com/b/perennial-artisan-ales-jack-rose/1223274

laserguru

My favorite Zappa cut.

I don’t give a fuck about opinion listen to the guitar.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He is one of the best guitarists I’ve seen.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Whooops, while that is my opinion; it is substantiated by many musicians as being technically accurate.

http://45.media.tumblr.com/1d5371595820e5030c6610ab13459887/tumblr_ntdl8xMv1J1rc7zl1o2_400.gif

Unsurprised

BLASTOFF!

laserguru

I saw him around Halloween 1980 in Chambana Illinois.

I found the hit of Mr. Natural that I dropped on the men’s room floor against all odds.
Don’t ask. Just listen.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

My head caved in when I saw him when Adrian Belew was in the band. Popped back out later, but still.

laserguru

Oh my.
That combination works.

Unsurprised

comment image

Unsurprised

I was listening to a podcast where the last 45 minutes of the most recent episode was the two hosts discussing their love of The Simpsons, and it hit me that The Simpsons is responsible for introducing “Schadenfreude” into modern English.

litre_cola

Is this where I come to say holy fuck the Saints are winning??? Also that Adelaide is Rayricing the Tigers?

laserguru

Yes it is the place.

Unsurprised

Hillary is willing to expose the truth about UFOs and aliens, but what she said in a speech to Goldman Sachs can’t ever be exposed to the people.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

Hostess did 9/11

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Sugar and HFCS can melt steel beams.

Unsurprised

The ZOG stuffed the twin towers with those rejected Twinkies as explosives for the controlled demolition.

http://114.imagebam.com/download/ye5C4BHsw0lZcegaVVd7FA/47534/475333232/774239.jpg

Unsurprised

Twinkie didn’t become kosher until after 9/11. Think about THAT!

Senor Weaselo

Baked
Edible
Nutritious
Goods
Hold
Allied
Zones
ISIS

Self-explanatory IMHO.

WCS

So… 2016 really has been ass, yes?

Unsurprised

Indeed.

theeWeeBabySeamus

/looks around confusedly
//yes, this checks out
comment image

laserguru

I would be lying if I said it got better.

Because it don’t.

Unsurprised

Say what you will about European cheeses, but only Americans could’ve put “cheddar” on popcorn.
http://www.vicspopcornomaha.com/assets/img/flavors/cheese-l.jpg

Senor Weaselo

Have we mocked the Dirt Rams yet?

Unsurprised

Beyond them being a bunch of grown men playing a children’s game?

Senor Weaselo

Hey, only grown-ups are allowed to play children’s card games!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uiMe7bJYQGU

laserguru

OK folks update time.

Visited the primary care physician today, woot! It’s the first stop on the everybody gets paid by your insurance gravy train.

My actual doctor wasn’t there so I saw another member of the practice who said “Ohh maybe you should try some ice and have you heard of Advil? Try that and maybe some exercise.” This to the person that walks and goes to the gym on alternating days every motherfucking day and who also ices down, does physical therapy on the knees at least 3 times a week and has had 4 previous knee surgeries.)

Then she made a call and got me an appointment for the exact process that will do me no good what-so-fucking-ever. A series of X-rays.

Do you know what the X-rays will show when you have a torn meniscus?

Exactly dick.

I called an orthopaedic surgeon who was mercifully “In Network” only to get an answering service because everybody was at lunch.
They never called me back.

I’m going to spend the weekend limping on both knees and icing up Son! (thanks Covalent)

God bless the US Health Care System.

Nothing ever gets accomplished on Friday.

Unsurprised

Women shouldn’t be doctors.

Fraulein Zymm excepted, of course.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’ve found that women are usually better doctors than men, I guess you are joking, so I’ll leave it at that.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Plus, when you get naked in front of them they are legally not allowed to laugh at you. You know, like all other women do.
Or is that just me?

Unsurprised

I don’t know what you’re talking about …
http://45.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mc3i3qY2971qzicj3o1_500.gif

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Wait, you said they are not supposed to laugh?

Unsurprised

Check your privilege. Some people pay extra for that.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Is it a deductible?

Unsurprised

Only in Nevada.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Damn.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
laserguru

I made the Covalent drop from an inside joke, she didn’t actually trash my knee.

This time.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You are covering for her; did she pay you for this?

laserguru

Maybe!

Unsurprised

I was just kidding.

laserguru

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Sorry, I thought you went YouTube on us. The disclaimer threw me off.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Seriously though; in the last several years I have had to deal with a LOT of doctors and none of the women had the god/ hero complex that several of the men had, although one woman didn’t know what the fuck she was doing. The vast majority that I dealt with were smart, competent…. and WAY overbooked.

Unsurprised

Most of mine since moving to Oregon have been women and they’ve been great. My new primary care doc is a woman, and we had a great rapport right off the bat on my first visit. Although she did mention something about EM radiation like some Santa Fe whack job, but I’m not holding that against her.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“You are going to feel a slight pressure, just relax.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

She could have been checking to see if there was more damage than just a torn meniscus. I have had partially torn meniscus in both knees, so it wasn’t as bad as yours, but the appearance of your knees looking like a paper bag full of water and no range of motion without sharp pains is no fun. If it is just torn meniscus there isn’t much to do but scope and/or trim it, right? You probably have at least stretched the other tendons and ligaments around there which makes it worse pain and range of motion wise, but if nothing is torn it is ice and rehabilitation. That was my experience with it anyway.

Unsurprised

This is freaking me out. I’m already 36 and obese. If yeah right is this messed up, I’m doomed.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I did both of mine playing flag football…. FLAG FOOTBALL. The other nice thing you can get from basketball or volleyball is “jumper’s knee” which is scare tissue in your Patellar tendon or just tendinitis. That hurts like a fucking son of a bitch. Guess what; ice and massage, and the massage also hurts like hell. That was fun before I was 36, after is lower back and rotator cuff. Then…. well fuck, let’s just say I have used some insurance moneys. Please start working out for the sake of your internal health; none of the things I listed from working out wrong will kill you, but the internal items; heart disease, diabetes, etc. will.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Shit, sorry; I went on there. tl;dr. This is why I should stick to graphics and not drink the whole bomber before eating.

http://40.media.tumblr.com/59a43a8a5acf53e49ebe7a5aea5bfc37/tumblr_ntb1s9ZOj51rojphdo1_500.jpg

Unsurprised

Whoa. I definitely expected a different ending based on the headline.

Unsurprised

I twisted my left knee almost sideways when I was 14. It still hurts sometimes.

And yeah, the new doc and I are working on a weight loss plan. The best thing about moving to Portland is that I have lost ten pounds since Christmas and I’m more active. I’ve been averaging 2.5-3 miles walking each day.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Keep it up.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

So to speak and not during exams.

Unsurprised

comment image

Unsurprised

So, just to be clear: I failed the bar exam. To be fair, so did 40% of the other test-takers. But fuck them because they aren’t me.

Good news, though. I’m caught up on The Americans and Archer and I’m working through Better Call Saul, but I’d rather watch The Simpsons.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sorry to hear that dude, sincerely. But my totally non-lawyer ass understanding is that this isn’t particularly uncommon. You’ll kick its ass next time.

I’ve still yet to watch this week’s The Americans.
/hangs head in shame

Unsurprised

It wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t also just run out of money on my lazy days tour of life insurance proceeds. So now that I have to get a job ASAP, my earning potential has been kneecapped and buried neck deep in concrete.

Senor Weaselo

Sorry to hear about the first part. You should object.
http://objection.mrdictionary.net/go.php?n=5960950

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Is that like some PE exams where they don’t tell you how close you were? When can you take it again?

Unsurprised

I just know I didn’t pass. I get a more detailed explanation in a week or two.

I can take it again at the end of July.

Don T

I’m very sorry man. Kick ass in July. All the best.

Unsurprised

Thanks.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Dressed like that, I think we can all agree he was asking for it….?
http://45.media.tumblr.com/870b619c10d4dba38d3d6503d17ca50f/tumblr_nkm0d4zjBJ1s02vreo1_400.gif

Unsurprised

Mmmm. Rump roast on the hoof.

theeWeeBabySeamus

What did the five fingers say to the face?
http://livedoor.blogimg.jp/himasoku123/imgs/2/2/225ccec9.gif

Don T

gas station attendants are the best bartenders hashtag Truth

theeWeeBabySeamus

I find that I am in need of more info.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Surprise, fucker….OH SHIT!!!!!!
comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey this looks fun and interesting. OH MY GOD HOW DID IT ALL GO SO WRONG SO FAST?!?!?!?!??!
http://awesomegifs.com/wp-content/uploads/cat-gets-stuck-in-a-bag-is-awesome.gif

WCS

theeWeeBabySeamus
theeWeeBabySeamus
WCS

“Awwwww shit….”

theeWeeBabySeamus

Observe, human, as I close the drawer. This is not the drawer you’re looking for.

Unsurprised

My life.comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Late night burger.
Checked fridge.
NO MUSTARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://45.media.tumblr.com/c7418caf6053abe846c74501dbcb37fd/tumblr_ntwmxo9fs91tb0976o1_500.gif

theeWeeBabySeamus

I knew I loved me some Moosey goodness.
I regularly chastise my niece, sometimes to the point of tears (no not really) for putting ketchup on her burgers.
Mustard, bitches!!!!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

There are plenty of thing in the fridge to compensate (no ketchup) but still.

Unsurprised

Mewpe Furles

theeWeeBabySeamus

no, no, no…No…NOOOOO!!!!
(AKA…kids are dicks)
comment image

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Evening, all

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

The power of negative reinforcement.
(AKA…beat your pets into submission peepuhl)
comment image

Unsurprised

Cannibal cat.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Boop
comment image

Doktor Zymm

Okay, I’m going to bed before I start spontaneously buying plane tickets.

G’night y’all

http://pics-for-fun.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/weird-food.jpg

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It does not look near this good when I do this with the hotel room towel.

http://49.media.tumblr.com/46fb199b5e601335e35b26ecacbb7bd0/tumblr_o41qbrbm6F1vopjubo3_250.gif

theeWeeBabySeamus

Why don’t you post the video and let us be the judge of that?

Doktor Zymm

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Last time I “accidentally” got walked in on by room service. She did not judge it well.

King Hippo

1.21 jiggawatts ,, smh

ballsofsteelandfury

Dok, was that you that mentioned a $900 airfare to Australia? I just saw another set of $900 fares. This may be too good to pass up…

herodotus450

The commentists could buy every ticket on the plane and it’d be a de facto private jet.
http://45.media.tumblr.com/2ed12df85ed3ec9559d6e4b6bd9b60fd/tumblr_nim3q7udzI1rql84qo1_1280.gif

King Hippo

*Warning, $900 passengers may be asked to fly in cargo hold.

Doktor Zymm

Yep. It’s more like $1140 from Chicago, but you lefties have the advantage of being a bit closer.

ballsofsteelandfury

For some reason, I found a $900 fare from Dallas AND NYC. Weird.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

Failing to plan is planning to fail.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Fail the tail.

Doktor Zymm

http://findmewinery.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/alaverdi-cathedral.jpg

Georgia is also one of the world’s oldest wine producing regions, making some excellent wines with grape varieties unique to the region. Wine-making was basically invented here.

Sill Bimmons

I had this in Kiev. You definitely make the whiskey face.

http://georgiaabout.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/chacha-label.jpg

Doktor Zymm

That looks like it’s basically rakia. The only local ‘brandy’ type drink I’ve ever had that wasn’t basically lighter fluid was in Lithuania, though it’s really more like pelinkovic, which is good too.
http://www.idwco.net/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/Starka.png

King Hippo

This also kinda looks like lighter fluid, or perhaps kerosene.

Being Southern, I DOES have ancestors that purveyed moonshine many moons ago.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hell, mine still do (as you already know).
Fucking rednecks, man.

Sill Bimmons

I have the still my grandad made his applejack with.

Sill Bimmons

It’s chacha.

Doktor Zymm

“Product of distillation of natural wine materials”

I’m just going to start referring to all the various varieties of strong-as-all-fuck Eastern European distilled beverages as “fruit drink”

King Hippo

See, you make it sound cute and then you take a drink larger than a sip…and three days go missing.

King Hippo

ALSO GLORIOUS STALIN MADE IN GEORGIA!!!

Doktor Zymm

I took a daytrip to Gori and saw the Stalin Museum there. His birthplace is technically a hut, but it’s actually a pretty nice hut.

King Hippo

MOST GLORIOUS HUT!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus
WCS

PAWL DAT GEORGIA AINT IN THE DA ESSS EEEE SEEE SOS IT CANT BE DA REEL DAWGS PAWLLLL

King Hippo

Methinks you should recite an entire Stalin-era Pravda article in PAWWWWLLLL-speak.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh hell…I’d actually pay for that.

Sill Bimmons

This was the vineyard that all the wine was from.

http://winetripchick.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/Second-Wine-Goruli-Mtsvane.jpg

These are khinkali, which are basically spicy curry xiao long bao.

comment image

Yeah, that was a pretty good combo.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Dry White….
comment image

Senor Weaselo
theeWeeBabySeamus

Insert obligatory “blue me” joke here….
comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The or the POPPA Smurf one works.

Senor Weaselo

Something something “Lovegood” something.

King Hippo

I want to open a Chinese takeout, operate it very normally, except with very mean fortunes in the cookies (“nobody will ever love you”, “maybe try eating some fruit once in awhile, fatty”, etc) and see how that affects the bottom line.

King Hippo

“I have all these really good goddamned ideas. Problem is, most of ’em suck!”

– George Carlin, RIP

Doktor Zymm

Last one. I would happily and quickly become hugely fat if I lived in Georgia. This is a version of katchapuri from the SW of the country.
http://simplyhomecooked.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/khachapuri-last.jpg

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fuck me….that looks good as shit.

packman_jon

I have no idea how you would pronounce that but it looks amazing

blaxabbath

It may have taken me until 7:34 on Friday, but I’ve reached the weekend!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

Fuck you, left coaster.
(yeah, yeah…this time of year AZ counts…I lived there long enough to know that)

Doktor Zymm

I need to start going to restaurants with fancy cheese courses.

http://www.flyingfourchette.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/Medlar-Cheese-cart.jpg

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Doktor Zymm

But I haven’t even gotten to saganaki yet!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

OK damn it, go ahead. I’ll pop open a beer.