First off, a small mea culpa. I confused my Dale Hunter incidents with my Ron Hextall incidents and assigned them to the wrong team.
Thanks to Sill for pointing that out. Guess I shouldn’t type & teach.
For those who care, there are five NBA games tonight, and none of them have dire playoff consequences. A better choice is Part 2 of the Ken Burns PBS documentary on Jackie Robinson.
Anyway, onto the West:
Western Conference – Round One
Dallas vs Minnesota (Thurs/Sat/Mon/Wed)
On paper, not really a contest. Dallas is a high scoring, physically imposing team. But thanks to its shaky goaltending, it allowed St. Louis & Chicago to stick around in the divisional race. They haven’t been in real contention since they won their ’99 Cup and had to get the stink of Brett Hull off them, but the Benn brothers make things exciting around the net. The Wild, meanwhile, play a style that seems the illegitimate child of Jacques Lemaire’s old Devils Trap, with a goalie in Devan Dubnyk whose GAA is inflated by the other team’s lack of chances. If someone can name a player on this team, the other person is obligated to follow with, “Who’s that?”
Prediction: Dallas in 5.
St. Louis vs Chicago (Wed/Fri/Sun/Tues)
This one is tough. I have a soft spot for St. Louis, as they are the oldest team to have not won a Cup, and the three Finals they’ve been to were all in their expansion years. They’ve had good regular-season teams that ran into playoff buzz saws and just got left behind. They’ve looked really good this year, but once again face an old nemesis. Chicago is built for the playoffs, much like the Oilers teams of the 80s. Not enough people are using the word “dynasty”, but if can use it for the Spurs, then it’s appropriate here. Plus, the longer they go cuts down on the chances Patrick Kane catches more off-season criminal charges. On the other hand, FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS!
Prediction: St. Louis in 6.
Anaheim vs Nashville (Fri/Sun/Tues/Thurs)
This series is going to be all goaltending. Pekka Rinne is a beast, especially during the playoffs, and Anaheim’s goaltender-by-committee structure is going to have to settle on one horse to ride through the first round, which I don’t think they’re prepared for. Points-spread doesn’t mean much in a clutch & grab series. The deciding factor will be whether Anaheim’s size can slow down Nashville’s speed. I honestly don’t see anything exciting about this series, which means it will turn out fantastic. Fun fact: Between Games 1 & 2, the Honda Center is hosting a concert by Alan Jackson (“Five O’Clock Somehwere”), who I hope comes out in a Preds jersey, meaning they’ll have to change or cover the ice. That should make for some funny bounces in Game 2, which could impact the rate of play and possibly cost the Ducks. Gonna put the big upset here.
Prediction: Nashville in 6.
Los Angeles vs San Jose (Thurs/Sat/Mon/Wed)
This has the potential to be the only seven-game series in the first round, and a good one to boot. Both teams had plenty of scoring during the regular season, and a solid playoff rivalry in the last few years. Joe Thornton is a notorious vacationer when it comes to the playoffs, but hopefully Pavelski & Hertl can keep him focused long enough to do some damage to the opposition for a change. How much trouble Milan Lucic causes/gets into will be the question mark for the Kings’ offence, as well as how much left in the tank le grand homme Lecavalier has. Goaltending comes down to a master-apprentice battle, as Jamie Quick takes on former backup Martin Jones, who watched from the bench as the Kings won it all in 2013. If they have to substitute James Reimer in early in the series, I think the stink of Leaf confirms the probable outcome a game or two sooner.
Prediction: Kings in 7.
There you have it. You are now basically informed about the opening round. Detailed Commentist team/series previews for the West will be posted tomorrow. You’ll be able to handle any general conversation in a bar.
Don’t forget – the Ken Burns special is on PBS. Can you enjoy history if you hate baseball? WATCH & FIND OUT!
http://36.media.tumblr.com/b72dd50ae479008203e725aa32015e50/tumblr_nlo088EFiZ1rojphdo1_1280.jpg
Genesis.https://youtu.be/IrNTsKg4z64
Holy shit! We’re still going!
Too much? I’ll stop.
No, you’re good. I was talking about the number of comments on one page.
Bulldog Puppy and Baby power combined gotta have the magic….
http://zutv.ro/uploads/image/-andra/—————————————————1%20noiembrie/—-chestii%20gresite/———poze%20dubioase%20pe%20fb/relatie%20la%20distanta/prieteni%20cu%20copii/9.gif
Moderation????? WTF???? U think this is a game mother humper????
http://cdn.meme.am/instances/400x/62486752.jpg
Squeeze. https://youtu.be/Ga871KlooWo
Duran Duran – Ordinary World
(totally 80s depressed now)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDLiVwpv89s
WHERE IS THE JOY DIVISION?!?
working up to it
http://cdn.someecards.com/someecards/usercards/MjAxMy1jY2M5MmJkZTQyMDllYTcw.png
No new page yet. ..
http://thumbs.dreamstime.com/x/pretty-blonde-red-bikini-20397350.jpg
Holy fuckballz….
‘Til Tuesday – Voices Carry
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uejh-bHa4To
http://41.media.tumblr.com/f5ea9b68fa6f1cd89b3aa8490c07518e/tumblr_mogd1vKSIg1sqlbryo1_1280.jpg
D’oh!
Where’s my old Spencer’s Gifts “Bikini Inspector” shirt when I need it?
She appears to need a good lotioning up….
Bulldog puppies, keep the luck flowing….
http://media4.s-nbcnews.com/i/streams/2014/March/140321/2D274905429003-bulldog.gif
Dammit…EUTHANASIA!!!!!!!!
Our new puppy is so cute I didn’t even think about murdering him when I found out he’d chewed through the modem plug and I had to run out to Wal-Mart at 9 goddamn 30 to get a new one to find out what courthouse I needed to be at tomorrow morning.
Spoiler alert: It’s New London.
The lull was trying to save you.
It looks like it’s time for our favorite game: New Page Russian Roulette!
sorry gang…i seem to have gotten stuck in a depressed 80s hole….this could get ugly…
The Motels – Only The Lonely
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZaPTELylZ1s
Martin Briley
https://youtu.be/netMRfWRTTY
VERY nice pull.
I am impressed.
Dennis Hooper drank 28 beers a day with a 1/2 gallon of rum and 3 grams of coke to wake up from the alcohol.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYi81hhQ6p0&nohtml5=False
The fuck did I go to law school for?
Roger Ebert did not like ‘Blue Velvet’
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uehfL60EA4
Siskel did.
Not sure if Ebert liked any Lynch film.
http://45.media.tumblr.com/1085127bc22d51f8ea6802457580d27a/tumblr_n5o9jp5U5J1sfeix4o1_500.gif
http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s–2IWnE1V7–/c_fit,fl_progressive,q_80,w_320/d1jalewib8gbrlfahwhl.gif
Hey there neighbor! Heineken?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snhiofL2Rh4
Thank you sir.
David Ortiz is the biggest fucking fraud in the history of baseball. There are very few players I hate bit he’s one of them. “Miracles are happening for him this year” says Eck. Yeah, “miracles”. As in “it’s a miracle David knows when he’s going to be tested during his final year.”
Fucking fraud.
My subtle so as to not piss anyone off celebration of tonight’s beantown game.
http://33.media.tumblr.com/e6119d5cab8106a50006aee63de1ce55/tumblr_inline_o36kiwKbXt1s3j79l_500.gif
And yes, Ortiz still owes us a bullpen phone.
Big baby.
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view3/4778803/david-ortiz-smashes-phone-o.gif
All around piece of shit. If he gets into the Hall of Fame I’m taking a road trip with a bunch of gasoline cans and a couple dozen matches.
Edgar Martinez will ride shotgun
Olivia, I am saddened to learn of your philandering. You do realize that shitmonkey voiced this….right?
http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/the_cleveland_show_-_holt_9018.png
I’m sorry, but I’ve lost all respect for you.
http://ioneglobalgrind.files.wordpress.com/2014/03/oliviawildeangry.gif
Ha!!! Just like The Cleveland show in real life, the gif disappeared in what seems like only minutes.
Kinda my point, actually.
Check out Olivia Wilde in Vinyl (2016); I could really disrespect her for a good while.
http://113.imagebam.com/download/ex-7Er9cYGvEhj1cp3dpLQ/47534/475333233/1146015%20%281%29.jpg
http://40.media.tumblr.com/85a495de16446c70b8fff78feed26622/tumblr_nlqq2umris1rojphdo1_1280.jpg
http://bollyhollycelebs.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/Olivia_Wilde_13.jpg
And a hearty “fuck you” to Jason Sudekis.
Nooooooooooooooooo…really?
Damn you google….I didn’t want to know that.
/kills self
http://36.media.tumblr.com/9a04c0a069484f6a63ef0f783708dc25/tumblr_nl3qht3CWw1rojphdo1_1280.jpg
That’s creepy as fuck.
Definitely earned a +1
Tasty.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXFK82TGh7c&nohtml5=False
http://49.media.tumblr.com/cc4d11b04bbc56025bf55f81a7114955/tumblr_ndnifmkaOy1ta21d6o1_500.gif
This one, in spite of its (gulp)…value…is SFW technically. I think.
http://49.media.tumblr.com/056427b976aec605219ded57b50f26a5/tumblr_mxwl9lI2zN1r87o8wo1_400.gif
Hey balls, I bet you won’t edit this into SFW….hehehe. Yeah, I’m kind daring you to….
h
ttp://www.gagreport.com/celebs/olivia-wilde/album/olivia-wilde-nude-24.jpg
http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/i-think-this-might-be-photoshopped.jpg
Shhhh…dammit.
No octopus visible. Can’t edit. 🙂
Marls 2 – Mets 1 F
What an AB by Dee Gordon.
http://40.media.tumblr.com/c019e576d8688c5c2f58a3c9c272bd5c/tumblr_nl6gn3pYZW1rojphdo1_500.jpg
http://www.nltimes.nl/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/tumblr_lmy1m5WB7m1qga54to1_500.jpg
Well their ain’t no trannies in heaven of corse,,,
http://img.izismile.com/img/img6/20130107/1000/sexy_olivia_wilde_animations_44.gif
http://36.media.tumblr.com/7ba58b6db3c82236d195be27d160bcaf/tumblr_nmb5epn2hG1rojphdo1_540.jpg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hAtWygeRHGk&list=RDhAtWygeRHGk&nohtml5=False#t=17
http://45.media.tumblr.com/99809da5481cf86b3e00f36c0c1c0e5f/tumblr_mz9kq9rK9M1t0b1clo1_500.gif
Hashbrowns, over easy, chili in a bowl. Thanks Moose. Now I’m fucking starving.
This might help:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6Q65yNStcM&nohtml5=False
http://49.media.tumblr.com/a0f7be435bc4bb342a59df85a66b19ae/tumblr_nl12zdGy1m1qgqj2zo3_500.gif
GODDAMMIT JAN…YOU FUCKING BITCH!!!!!
eggs everywhere!!!
Ehh, sorry. Can’t watch video links from work anymore. Automatic four week suspension.
Really? We don’t want that!
Yeah, someone fucked up so they’re cracking down on everyone. I’ve gotta say it makes my 12 hours seem a bit longer.
Punish the many for the sins of the few. My place of employment does that too sometimes.
good stuff there Moose
Hey Balls,
For the record my Freemantle Dockers gear got here today, ordered on 4-3-16. Not a sign nor word from the Melbourne club.
This confirms my proper choice of AFL teams.
Now about that 0-3 record…
I bet you, now that you have the proper gear, the Dockers will turn it around!
WE CAN DO THIS!
Borderline NSFW. I’ll err toward decorum….
http://boabronha.com/wp-content/gallery/famosas/Olivia_Wilde_Bunda_Correndo.gif
(Balls edit: Safe by me!)
OK, first one is in moderation…let’s try another….
Wooooo!!!!!!!!
HA!!!!!
http://45.media.tumblr.com/e23529cf3963888a590a1df1dc20c3fd/tumblr_ndnifmkaOy1ta21d6o2_500.gif
Let gets that Hallway Mischief going!
As long as we don’t run into them Shining bitches….
http://mtv.mtvnimages.com/uri/mgid:file:http:shared:mtv.com/news/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/twins-1432321788.gif
http://31.media.tumblr.com/28aa405417ee6c87d90dba5ab6ac5307/tumblr_mxgsb5Clxd1qjqxmoo1_400.gif
http://49.media.tumblr.com/6f2c94fa4d34b7f131fdd17733825ccb/tumblr_ndnifmkaOy1ta21d6o3_500.gif
I just drank this:
http://www.rutters.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/monster-gronk-product.jpg
I feel the appropriate level of shame and glee.
Disclaimer: I drink Monster regularly. But I’d like to think I’d avoid one with Gronk on the can.
As do I. Some people have their morning coffee, I have my morning Monster. I mostly go for the Ultras
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51vdV%2BQAM7L.jpg
Although the Rehabs are really good too. I love the Orange and Yellow Ultras.
I buy the cases of the white, blue and reds at Sam’s Club. Also the case of the low calorie reg (black/blue instead of black/green).
In fact I’m almost out. Gotta go to Sam’s tomorrow or I’ll have such a frigging headache tomorrow night.
I had that headache this morning. This shit is probably not healthy, but I like it. I love the Reds too.
I used to have one of those before hitting the ski slopes. Weekend morning drinkin…
mixed with a little bit of gin.
Yep…Monster is my standard chaser for freezer vodka.
Rehabs and or their coffee line. Tasty. I saw the gronk and carefully backed away lest it try to haze me like a pledge or summin.
http://49.media.tumblr.com/89acc808af3b3658e54f4dc482af7af3/tumblr_n6wfyqdYx91rhpe85o1_500.gif
Gronk seems more of a Four Loko kinda guy
Really? I thought he was more of a Rockstar drinker…
What about Red Rooster?
Oh god, it exists: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_energy_drinks
You know what, I totally forgot about Bawls. Can’t think of anything Gronkier than that.
Evening guys!
http://49.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m98r8yT2Xs1qfatfbo7_500.gif
Is she waving bye as in good-bye, or hi as in hello?
She is gesturing you into her boudoire.
BUT DON’T YOU FUCKING GO IN THERE…..SHE’S MINE!!!!!!!
The cigarette charmed me, but the playoff beard hooked me. Let’s Go Blues.
A short break from Olivia Wilde to sing the praises of Heidi Watney.
This is Heidi Watney….she hosts Quick Pitch on MLBN. In spite of being a somewhat Boston homer, we like Heidi.
(moar Fenway booing, btw…hehehehe)
http://www.radass.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/Olivia-Wilde-01.jpg
Wow…I kinda fucked that up. That is not Heidi Watney.
This is Heidi Watney….
http://americaswhiteboy.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/Heidi+Watney+Tank+Top+MLB+Network+Sexy+Hot1.jpg
Ms. Watney was widely rumored to have been behind the demise of Jason Varitek’s marriage. http://www.playerwives.com/mlb/boston-red-sox/jason-variteks-rumored-girlfriend-homewrecker-heidi-watney/
No idea if this is true but we are on the internet so I feel compelled to spread vile rumors about people I don’t know from sources I don’t trust.
Dee Gordon has fouled off 11 pitches in a row. 16 pitches so far.
Base hit.
Wild pitch. Gordon to second.
Yelich walks. The Mets are gonna fuck this up.
Stanton walks. Bases loaded.
Sac fly. Gordon scores. 2-1 Marlins. Top 8. Dammit.
http://www.radass.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/Olivia-Wilde-01.jpg
Holy shitsnacks
Inorite????
She’s divine.
Famous Last Words:
“Go ahead. Meme me.” – Bill Cosby
“Why not? Let’s face them. Its our year!” – Redshirt
“Bernie Sanders winning but he’s being screwed by the system.” – Donald Trump
Wow, that’s a lot of booing happening in Fenway.
You stay klassy Sawhx fans.
Pablo Sansabelt
Anderson Cooper and the entire Trump Family is going to be in one place?
Is the Meteor Dance, step, turn, axel, illusion, step, pivot, step, step?
It’s Ho! Ha ha! Guard! Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin! Ha! Thrust! Sproing!
http://45.media.tumblr.com/8e06ca6cc2f4a8ef757d2b501a7e4836/tumblr_n80t04swPn1s4rha3o1_500.gif
Ha ha, very funny. Ho ho, it is to laugh.
Anybody getting sick of the Olivia Wilde yet? Speak now or hold your “piece”.
(also, she has some fun NSFW ones….wooo!!!!)
http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lrlqvyUZ3F1qzl19p.gif
For example….
h
ttp://nudetvshow.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/olivia_wilde-nude-third_person-00a.gif
What up?
http://40.media.tumblr.com/e3a023d535b6de944084d53b2f1561f1/tumblr_n9eidwnaqi1rnny8ho1_500.jpg
http://49.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lykx1en3sV1qbh2jco11_r1_250.gif
You all think Cubs fans are bad? Wait until you meet a White Sox fan:
https://twitter.com/snarkandaddison/status/720046822513893376
http://33.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_me2io7nTBf1qgnq4mo1_500.gif
Pretty much.
Trying to convince me to watch Braves/Marlins.
2/10, would not bang.
http://static2.fjcdn.com/comments/I+have+always+thought+olivia+wilde+was+a+goddess+_d1c50bd2a7415324ca7475f238d29865.jpg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1PCtIaM_GQ&nohtml5=False
This video cemented the belief that I’ve held ever since I was dumb little kid: Jackie Chan is awesome; Chris Tucker is a hack.
http://25.media.tumblr.com/312e13812ec1538a2f9fd2d17cd07905/tumblr_mw81xxLjKY1qbh2jco3_r2_500.gif
We mock Red Sox/Patriots fans for not knowing anything about the team before 2000. Blackhawks fans are just as bad/dumb if not worse. This is why you should want the Cubs to lose forever…because these people are dumber than fuck and twice as loud.
Never realized this. I also do believe that the cuddly loveable loser Cubs are quickly turning to be insufferable with Epstein etc, their fan base is turning way more vocal.
Disclaimer: I am not now nor have I ever been a homophobe or discriminator against different sexual orientations (so damned sad I feel the need to type this).
http://static.fjcdn.com/gifs/Olivia+wilde+_c30adb_5273189.gif
Whatever. Fag?
/extends pack of cigarettes
We ache to be as awful as Boston but I think we’ll always be somewhat lacking.
As a fan of all teams Chicagoan, I actually don’t like the Blackhawks and I think it’s that very reason. Most of these fans came out of nowhere and act like they were around through the awful years when home games were blacked out.
And as a Cubs fan, I fucking *hate* Cubs fans.
Isn’t it true that the Blackhawks previous owner wouldn’t allow home games to air on TV in Chicago?
They didn’t air due to the fact they couldn’t sell out pretty much ever.
The old owner was, however, reviled by fans of the time and once he croaked his son took over and actually put together a good team.
I was mistaken then. Thanks for clearing that up.
What’s your story Al?
Gun looked real enough….I shot a kid.
http://i0.wp.com/mikeydislikesit.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/cops.gif
Someone say something about mullets?
You GO, Argyle!!!!!!!
Black on Black violence tho I guess.
http://www.magxone.com/uploads/2012/03/Olivia-Wilde-GQ-UK-3.jpg
So much hockey. I feel a mullet coming on.
It’s best, then, to roll with the king.
http://i1371.photobucket.com/albums/ag282/spiegs13/9c44418c-3876-429e-86c7-e40fcc6eb7f0_zpshjefs2rz.jpg
a wild second comment box has appeared!
has that always been there?
It’s like Reptile in Mortal Kombat I: it shows up when it wants to, and then disappears again.
http://45.media.tumblr.com/640f8de44f8811a01cb18ad3e87265ca/tumblr_o5h58uVihn1qiafa2o3_400.gif
FLAWLESS VICTORY.
Yes.
http://49.media.tumblr.com/686e485cf356fcd0a03d9a9a44940f42/tumblr_ndmzzlAWD91tq9q5vo1_400.gif