Commentist Beer Barrel: Turkey Day, Continued

This week’s Beer Barrel is a sort of mystery. The facts are simple enough: At the store on Friday, I stumbled on a bottle of beer that had been marked down from its usual price of $10.50 to a mere $5.99. I immediately had to know why, because this was maybe the deepest discount I’ve ever seen on beer at retail, and today you’ll all get to watch me try to figure out the answer.

The beer is 5 Stones Home for the Holidays, and so you’ll already be thinking of one possible reason for the discount: This beer’s out of season by at least three and a half months. I like 5 Stones Artisan Brewery a lot. They’ve got a little facility in Cibolo, Texas, just northeast of San Antonio, and they’re a creative bunch; a couple of my favorite 5 Stones Beers are a pinapple-jalapeño ale (some of which they later aged on tequila-soaked oak chips to delicious effect) and a “golden stout,” literally a strong blonde ale that used coffee and chocolate to mimic the taste of a real stout. This one’s evidently Thanksgiving-themed, brewed and/or fermented with cranberries, cinnamon, and orange peel. Under ordinary circumstances I’d have every reason to come into this with high expectations, but of course, this is no ordinary 5 Stones beer; it’s a 5 Stones beer I bought for just over half price. Let’s see what I’ve gotten myself into.

Home for the Holidays is a light burnt orange beer with, as far as I can tell, nothing wrong with it at all. It hasn’t gone sour or developed a thick cloud of yeast sediment or become noticably oxidized the way that really old beers do. If any of its flavors have faded, they’ve probably done so for the better. The cranberries aren’t overwhelming, which is a huge relief because honestly I can’t get behind a beer that aggressively features cranberries. Cinnamon is also at a fairly low level, but it gives the beer a tiny bit of bite, and that’s nice. Orange peel is fairly prevalent and a good balance for the cranberries, and the base beer is a nice little saison-type ale light and spicy. This is good! My best guess, and really my only guess, at what happened here is that the store had this sitting around for a while and had to clear the space for something new. That’s a fairly boring end to this mystery, but a good result as far as I’m concerned. How about lady snow, though?

lady snow says: It reminds me of Thanksgiving leftovers.

make it snow: How fitting! And, everyone, I had no idea that yeah right was doing turkey leftovers this afternoon, and you’ll just have to trust me on that. 

lady snow says: It reminds me of when you make a sandwich the day after Thanksgiving, with turkey and cranberry sauce and stuffing. This is making me wish it were fall again. It gives me that feeling when you just want to sit down by a fire and eat delicious food. It’s a very hearth-and-home kind of beer.

make it snow says: I think the Danes call that feeling hygge.

lady snow says: I like that.

make it snow says: Can you think of any reason this beer was marked down by four and a half dollars, other than being out of season?

lady snow says: I can’t. Not even one.

tl;dr: We get it, snow, you got a deal on a beer.

Grade: Happy Thanksgiving, DFO!

make it snow is an alot of beer and YouTube video watcher. He drank about twenty ounces of Home for the Holidays for this review, and lady snow drank the rest.

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makeitsnowondem
make it snow is an alot of beer. He is also a Broncos fan living in Denver.
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Fronkenshteen

Black Sabbath 1973? 1974? If I were forced into combat, I would play this outro in a continuous loop in my tank. https://youtu.be/noUYAPdLMp0

King Hippo

That is a fine beer story. I had orange cranberry scones from Publix this weekend. There’s accidental synergy all over this mofo!!

Wakezilla

I too am currently drinking beer. I’m drinking a Red Racer IPA. It is fantastic. Red Racer was the Canadian Brewery of the year in 2010 and 2012 and placed third in the World Cup of beer. Their IPA is quite heavenly, though my favorite is the Raspberry wheat ale. Sadly, you can only get the RWA on tap.

You Yanks can purchase Red Racer, though, it’s called Red Betty for some reason.

Wakezilla

Well, I got a good buzz going, so, here’s a good song to listen to when one is in such a state

Sublime’s Santeria

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTCyZvb2Uzw

WCS

Love me some Red Racer/Betty. This is no shit, honest truth: tried it in Mac’s Tavern (owned by Rob McElhenney and Kaitlin Olson) in 2012. It was (and remains) delicious. We went to Mac’s maybe six or so times when we were living in Philadelphia, and have visited each time we’ve been back in town. Going to Mac’s is mandatory, and getting a Red (Betty) is also required.

JerBear50

I had no idea they actually had a bar. Is it modeled after Paddy’s? I mean aesthetically, not sanitation-wise.

WCS

For what it’s worth, a semi-literate janitor never chased rats around while we were there. There were a few Chase Utley jerseys framed and on the walls, not to mention St. Joseph’s University, and Notre Dame paraphernalia.

Take my word on this: get the gravy fries. Horrible for you, your taste buds are injecting a heroin/cocaine combo.

Also, the jukebox is free if you’re there before 17:00 EST. (Well, at least it was. It’s been a while.

JerBear50

I can’t imagine myself visiting Philly any time soon, at least not voluntarily, but I’ll definitely check it out should I escape the kidnappers.

Sill Bimmons

I may not always love you
But long as there stars above you
You’ll never need to doubt it
I’ll make you so sure about it

God only knows what I’d be without you.

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/71nFZNXN5ML._SL1300_.jpg

JerBear50

Even the fucking goats didn’t like Mike Love.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Every goat I have ever seen seems to be trying to convey a single basic message: “GIVE ME YOUR SOUL TO GNAW UPON, PUNY HUMAN!”

Sill Bimmons

This is the story of Rael…

Sill Bimmons

Drive-in Saturday

Senor Weaselo

So there are reports of an armed gunmen running around in the woods of my (undergrad) college. Campus is on lockdown, hope everyone there stays safe.

blaxabbath

Good thing that campus is a gun-free zone!

(No – I’m not serious)

Senor Weaselo

It’s definitely not a drug-free zone, I’ll tell you that much. Not that I ever… partook… in such substances…

/Actually I didn’t! But in fairness, I am pretty lame.

Horatio Cornblower

Congrats on hijacking the lawn irrigation computer system.

Sill Bimmons
blaxabbath

Love the tl;dr of Beer Barrel!

Horatio Cornblower

20 minutes of The Reducers. Really just throwing this up there to prove that I wasn’t lying when I said the El ‘N Gee was a fucking dump.

God I miss it though.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3KmDUeFpwY

Horatio Cornblower

The Reducers, a semi-punk band out of New London that never got the recognition they deserved. I went to a lot of their shows at a dump of a club, the El ‘N Gee, in New London and never had a bad time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEuUovOpfKc

BrettFavresColonoscopy

So what I’m learning is the only thing to like about Texas is the beer

laserguru

And the food.

WCS

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JerBear50

And the music.

Sill Bimmons

MAYBE

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Brett; you cost me a lot of money, Mister.

/bought bottle of Oban “on sale”, not really your fault but I have to blame someone besides who is at fault.

Horatio Cornblower

More Miracle Legion;
‘Snacks & Candy’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0z6EAGO9JA

Dammit July get here sooner.
(Concert will probably be in a retirement home)

Sill Bimmons

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Horatio Cornblower

Miracle Legion. A CT band that had a pretty decent indie hit back in the late 80’s with this song, ‘The Backyard’. Just heard they got back together and will be playing in RI in July. I’m getting tickets.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZ78AZhzIoU

FWIW when you become a parent this song hits you right in the feels.

Sill Bimmons

God only knows what I’d be without you…

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Horatio Cornblower

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XRyEkOfQSg

REM & Kate Pearson, “Me & Honey”

My all-time favorite REM song, although I’d be the first to admit Pearson’s fucking amazing vocals do wonders for it. Just a fantastic song.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Also a fair approximation of how Andy Reid would spend his days if he were reincarnated as a bear.

Horatio Cornblower

Goddammit this needs to somehow be a banner quote but without the long lead-in it’s totally out of context.

laserguru

Sill Bimmons

GIVE IT

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Sill Bimmons

Don’t know.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Fun fact: I know a guy in this commercial for Sunset Junction!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tu9vwWuelhg

SonOfSpam

Apropos of nothing (except beer), I’m currently sipping (gulping) a Green Flash Soul Style IPA. Good, not great, but much better than something non-alcoholic. Really wanna try that Home For The Holidays brew, but seems like it might be hard to find.

Horatio Cornblower

Green Flash has a really good IPA. The local brewery usually has it on its Guest Beer list. I don’t believe I’ve had Soul Style though.

laserguru

nice.

Sill Bimmons

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laserguru

I love this fucking song~

SonOfSpam

Yes…one of REM’s best for sure.

Horatio Cornblower

One of my favorites as well.

Sill Bimmons

Swan Swan H:

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Horatio Cornblower

That album was the first concert I ever saw. At the New Haven Coliseum, which has since been reduced to rubble.

There’s a metaphor there but I’m damned if I know what it is.

Sill Bimmons

Yep.

No idea.

Sill Bimmons

Fall On Me:

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Sill Bimmons

R.E.M.

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Sill Bimmons

The best thing about religious nutcases and Teatards (theirs an overlappin’g Venn diegram,, smh) is that they never allow comments on their sites.

If they’re right to the degree they think they are, why do they care what we hellbound commies think? Shouldn’t their omnipotent god or candidate be able to withstand our pitiful missives against their universal truths?

What are they so afraid of?

SonOfSpam

They’re afraid of everything and are looking for an authority figure to tell them exactly what to do and think (preacher, Reagan, Hannity, etc.).

Sill Bimmons

You can’t say that
You can’t say that

Clouds and eclipses
Stain the moon and the sun
And the history reeks
Of the wrongs we have done
After today
After todayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Consider me gone

SonOfSpam

Sting the jazzbo. (Had this on vinyl and played it to death when it came out)

Sill Bimmons

And it will get on to its own fucking awesomeness.

Sill Bimmons

Fortress Around Your Heart:

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laserguru

I can play a solid G chord.

Sill Bimmons

i can’t.

laserguru

http://www.tarheelguitar.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/G-major-chord.png
Index finger is one, middle finger is two and pinkie is the three.

Chicks will drop the panties over a solid G-C-D combo.

laserguru

Speaking of which.

Horatio Cornblower

Didn’t Meg and Jack White break up after that song?

Sill Bimmons

Got no stringed instruments.

laserguru

Where’s your kazoo?

Sill Bimmons

NOT STRINGED

Senor Weaselo

But Yesterday’s in F…

/…Also have perfect pitch

Sill Bimmons

Perhaps.

Perhaps not.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

But in Latin, “Jehovah” begins with an “i”….

Horatio Cornblower

I just got back from picking up my wife, a 2+ hour round trip. Before that I changed my oil, showed my son how to change his oil, cleared the leaves that gathered in all the crevices around the yard over the winter, cleaned out the cats’ outdoor shelter, walked the dog three times and went to the gym.

Now I’m sitting down with Treehouse Brewery’s “Sap” American IPA. It comes in a can, (BOOM! Phrasing!) and it tastes really good. I’m definitely going to have a second one.

This has been Commentist Beer Barrel with an exhausted, but not as buzzed as he’s going to be, Horatio Cornblower.

WCS

I can’t tell if you were efficient, or just really bored.

Sill Bimmons

Yes.

JerBear50

It sounds dumb but I kind of miss changing my oil. There’s something rewarding about doing shit like that even when it’s the most minor of maintenance tasks. It doesn’t happen anymore because I have nowhere to dispose of it and a sloped driveway.

Horatio Cornblower

It’s not dumb at all. There’s something to being able to work with your hands and get something done that we all need. I’m an attorney, I sit on my ass all day and move paper around. On the weekends I meet up with my redneck friends, split wood, throw horseshoes, change oil, get in the way when they do things more complicated than that.

It’s just something primal men need to do.

Also my driveway’s totally flat so what else am I gonna do with it?

Horatio Cornblower

Sent you a DM on Treehouse because I’m apparently not logged in here.

Sill Bimmons

The Long And The Winding Road

Senor Weaselo

So in hindsight I should have told you LA Commentists to go see BattleBots and then not-tell me what happens under penalty of breaking an NDA and me getting pissed off about spoilers.

Senor Weaselo

And for further reasoning, this.
http://cdn.makeagif.com/media/7-27-2015/1skhtj.gif

Sill Bimmons

Ch-check it out:

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Sill Bimmons
laserguru

I’m settling down with a lovely Australian offering.
http://www.bestwinesunder20.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/layercakeshiraz.jpg

Will still probably switch to beers and bourbon before the day is over.

Excellent write-up as always.

...

A Commentist Wine Barrel would complement this feature very well.

JerBear50
...

In Boston, it would be a barrel, but really a can of Monster. And the fluid inside would not be beer, but a mixture of disgarded Skoal and saliva.

WCS

…and thrown through the window of a Korean church.

JerBear50

Owah dip cups ah superiah to yoah dip cups.

Sill Bimmons
Wakezilla

That is a fantastic bottle of wine. Enjoy.

laserguru

Synergy!

JerBear50

I was looking through the cooler at a local chain liquor store a while back and found bombers of barleywine for $2.99. It was a fairly big, well-distributed craft brewery but for the life of me I can’t remember which one. It wasn’t the best I’d ever had but it was not bad by any stretch. They stayed at that price until they ran out a few weeks later. It’s probably not too far of a walk to get from the price of 10% ABV bombers to find reasons my failing memory.

...

The tequila-wood-aged beer sounds interesting. I think of all the barrel-aged beers I’ve had, few were aged in something other than a whiskey barrel.

It doesn’t always turn out well, though. I once had a pilsner aged in a gin barrel and I just tasted like someone spilled gin in my beer. Ick.

Sill Bimmons

Beers should be aged in the same casks as scotch whiskys.

...

Whisky flavor transfers best, which I think it part of the reason it’s so common. The fact barrels are just so cheap and abundant helps too.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I thought Rumpkin was terrible, and I’m a huge Avery fanboy

JerBear50

I like Innis & Gunn’s rum aged. I think the strong flavor of their ale stands up to it well, but it’s probably also because I really like rum.

Sill Bimmons

It’s just rum cask chips.

Like Budweiser only somehow worse.

http://www.luekensliquors.com/images/Innis%20&%20Gunn%20Oak%20Aged%20Rum%20Aged.png

JerBear50

Yeah, it’s not barrel aged. The chip aging thing isn’t uncommon for liquor aging beers other than whiskey varieties. Innis is not my favorite by any stretch but I sure as shit wouldn’t lump it in with Budweiser.

...

Rum barrel aged sounds pretty good, actually.

Kungjitsu

I got a Sam Adams Sampler 12-pack on sale, and I like their Session Ale a lot.

Sill Bimmons

/brewed in Pittsburgh

Sill Bimmons

I’d like to be able to drink again, but since I can’t I’ll have to live vicariously through the Beer Barrel.

http://static.giantbomb.com/uploads/scale_super/0/339/1455326-two_thumbs_up.jpg