Your “It’s Tuesday. Whoop-De-Facking-Do!” Tuesday Night Open Thread

“Fury” isn’t that good a movie. I have some Canadian “Premium” channels so I’ve been able to watch the last 45 minutes and then immediately watch the movie from the beginning. Shitty movies use “rhyming techniques” over and over and over again. It’s a tried-and-true method that creates emotional resonance in the viewer. Where was I? Answer: Way off course.

NBA-wise, BOS/ATL and MEM/SA are the games to eyeball.

In the league that is so much more exciting, TB/DET, PIT/NYR, ANA/NASH and STL/CHI are on tap and on ice.

In other news, JJ Watt worked out today and is pretending to be not-dying to tell you about it. And now…LET YOUR FINGERS DO THE WALKING!

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
624 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Brocky

So I googled “Mighty Ducks gifs” and apparently I forgot this was a thing:

http://bcdbimages.s3.amazonaws.com/disney/mighty_ducks.gif

Wakezilla

I remember that. It was during the glowing puck dark days of the dead puck era on Saturday mornings.

Brocky

I have no idea what the fuck you just said

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Bro, you just never saw a Saturday afternoon slap shot with a red streak behind did ya?

litre_cola

Is the Blues fanbase as irritating as the Cards? I have never met a Blues fan.

King Hippo

It’s basically just a small subset of the #BFIB, so I would imagine so.

I could give two shits about the Blues, but others may differ.

litre_cola

Hello commentists, what is going on?

Old School Zero

Beer. Jeopardy.

SonOfSpam

Doubt has torn the commentists apart. We are a broken home, destined to forever wander the internet like rejected bastards.

How you doin?

litre_cola

Just got from a round of golf on a business trip. It is fucking hot in Western Canada right now. Smoked a bowl, poured a glass of wine and settling in. Ready to wander the internet.

You can wander around all you want, I am declaring the most tryanical Pantarchy of DFO henceforth.

Doktor Zymm

Ceiling fans : awesome

Brocky

Good call

blaxabbath

Is Sill around? I’d like to know how NY is shaking out.

Old School Zero

Has anyone else played Persona 4 (or P4 Golden)? I’ve been sucked into P4G something hard the last couple of months.

Whaddya mean, ‘phrasing’?

Redshirt

Well on the bright side Cruz is going down in flames.

Unsurprised

Like the Hellspawn he is returning home.

I’d really hate to sit next to a person at a Red Wings game who brought an octopus to the game. Must smell.

The Maestro

Unless they double Ziploc-bagged it. But this is Detroit here, they’re not known for such luxurious things.

SonOfSpam

Yeah, and the octopus wouldn’t be too pleasant either.

Spur
Spur

It’s a telling sign when Kia doesn’t have any actual footage of LeBron driving their vehicle

Doktor Zymm

Kia has actually done pretty damn well for themselves over the past decade. They’re profitable and dare I say….almost respectable now?

Spur

I was going for more that he would fit in a Kia

rockingdog

If the presidential candidates were kinds of candy, what kinds of candy would they be?

ready, go!

JustStopDude

Cruz- Chocolate covered razor blades.

Unsurprised

Does cyanide-laced Kool-Aid count?

Old School Zero

Charleston Chews, because I’ll only take a bite when they’re the only thing available.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Hillary Clinton – Peanut Brittle with chitlins

JustStopDude

Clinton-Raisins

I know I was always disappointed when these showed up in my candy bag…

blaxabbath

Clinton is those mystery Skittles that they don’t tell you what the flavor is but they promise it will be delicious.

Trump is also those Skittles, except you have an expired coupon that you’re hoping the check out lady doesn’t check the date on.

Doktor Zymm

I see Trump as those awful chalky Valentine’s heart candies. From when America was great.

JustStopDude

I once got asked by a Canadian coworker, we were in Japan at the time, walking a Bundesleage soccer game, if in soccer, they ever pulled the goalie for an extra attacker.

I didn’t really know how to respond to that other than “why?!?”

ballsofsteelandfury

I’ve seen goalies go up front and join the attack, so…. sort of.

Doktor Zymm

So…can of worms.
For those of you who hate Hillary Clinton….why exactly?

Kungjitsu

She speaks with authority and she doesn’t even have a penis.

...

For shits and giggles, I’ll play Devil’s Advocate here.

I think Hillary represents established power–both corporate and political–which a lot of people understandably mistrust. It doesn’t help that she’s isn’t especially charismatic and doesn’t seem to relate to the typical American all that well.

Doktor Zymm

Sure, but that’s lots of politicians, none of which spark the visceral hate she gets.

...

Agreed. I don’t think the hate is all rational even I do hear some rational objections to her as president.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I’ll take the bait.

I’m none too fond of politicians in general and I usually abstain from voting entirely so it’s not a hate for Hillary as much as I listen to her and I think, “How is this feasible?”

I don’t like her record on civil liberties, namely free speech and surveillance, and she has a totalitarian streak that makes me bristle.

Also, a lot of people really hate her fucking husband and the Clinton name in general, and some view her as an enabler of her husband’s behavior.

Doktor Zymm

I do think her time as first lady is being counted against her. It’s odd to me that people associate her with Bill’s policies. I don’t recall Dubya being associated with his father’s policies, but then again, Bush Sr didn’t have as much of an impact on the US as Bill.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Bush 2000 was an interesting animal, for many reasons. He got 70% of the Muslim vote that election, and then went down to 4% by 2004.

Also, when Hillary says things like, “We were dead broke when Bill and I left the White House”, I feel homicidal, because they had the money to finance a $2.85 million dollar house in DC a month before Bill left office.

She just reeks of using minorities and the poor as lip-service mascots for her campaign and then tacitly telling them to eat shit if she’s elected.

Unsurprised

The Clintons didn’t buy that house though. It was purchased for them under a very generous financing arrangement.

Unsurprised

W took pains to run against many of his father’s policies and went out of his way to run away from the persona that George HW Bush had of being the aloof, Ivy League Washington insider by acting like a shitkicking redneck whose “ranch” was purchased with antebellum New England money.

The Maestro

General disdain for her reaction to fairly serious issues with indifference or condescending humour.

The email thing may or may not be illegal. I’m not a lawyer, I won’t make a call on that. But quite honestly, I’d have liked to see her own up to the fact that the security breach of classified documents on a home server IS a big deal to a lot of Americans, instead of brushing it aside.

Same with all the Wall Street money. Hard to take someone seriously when they’re claiming to want to have “reform” when they’re also taking several hundred grand for short speeches from Goldman Sachs.

As Canadians go, I’m pretty conservative – not to the GOP extent obviously, but I also definitely am not on board with the Sanders camp. The existence of a leftist element in politics has never bothered me – it’s a necessary element in running a country. But as someone who should technically be right up the Clinton campaign’s alley in terms of political views, I still feel she’s full of shit.

This has nothing to do with gender, by the way. I think women in politics are so incredibly important. I just wish that the Democrats were a little more independent in their choices, instead of all falling in line simply to promote Clinton as the establishment candidate.

Unsurprised

Her belief that she’s entitled to the office because she’s been running since 1988 when Bill first ran — that because she was alongside him, Secretary “We are the President” Clinton decided that because she’s smarter than Bill (Which is saying something, but she is) that she deserved to be President herself once she got that hillbilly elected twice. She then went about her own campaign from 2000 in he most transparent way possible as a carpetbagger Senator for New York like Robert Kennedy.

She’s dishonest to a fault, and I fault any politician who runs for office for the sake of power itself. I’m not stupid, I know that’s why everyone runs, but at least pretend to have some sort of principle or ideology that goes beyond taking whatever position is most popular. Her and so many other Democrats’ Iraq War votes are the pinnacle of this cynical bullshit and I will hold it over the heads of every one of those people who supported it until the day I day because I can and there are thousands of people who can’t because they’re dead now.

I hate the fact that she’s condescending. Like I said, she’s smarter than Bill Clinton, who is probably the most genius President we’ve ever had (alongside Nixon, which speaks volumes), but the problem is that those two men were also capable of understanding people and connecting with them, and not only can’t she, but she is unwilling to even pretend that she can.

I also cannot stand her paranoia because it makes her do the stupidest fucking things. I can totally understand why. She’s been subjected to more and more vicious attacks from assholes than anyone in politics and it’s been non-stop for 24 years. That being said, it’s made her do dumb shit like setting up the email server and refusing to be transparent because somehow being attacked for stupid things is better than being attacked for irrelevant things.

Finally, she trusts the wrong people. The post-mortem of her 2008 campaign is brutal in how incompetent her people were and worse was how incompetent she was in her failure to control them. It doesn’t help that she doesn’t run FOR something, but that she runs as being the scheming politician she is. That’s great and all, but you can’t sell that to people in an election year. And if you can’t convince the mouth-breathing masses to vote for you, your skills at hand-to-hand politicking is equally going to suck because your opposition already knows that you’re willing to capitulate to whatever is most convenient and is usually most convenient to the fucking opposition. It’s why Obama has been a failure as a President. When you act like you’re willing to compromise and begin in a position of weakness, your negotiating opponent is going to destroy you. And that’s exactly what the Republicans have done over and over again to him, to her, to the Democrats in general. Because we act weak and stupid because we are weak and stupid. And Hillary is the apex of every craven, shortsighted, cynical,greedy, arrogant, mean fucking piece of shit politician I’ve ever met or had the displeasure of dealing with and I’m fucking sick of it.

Spur

There’s a playoff starting lineup in 2016 that consists of Jordan Farmar, Vince Carter, Birdman, and Matt Barnes.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

YMCA Dallas-area semis

Wakezilla

This Democratic NY primary, I call it Antonio Cromartie’s offspring because it’s illegitimate as fuck.

Unsurprised

Sweet. I can walk to the Hair of the Dog brewery.

Old School Zero

Hell yes.

makeitsnowondem

So jealous.

bourb0nblues

Red Wings about to ride the lightning…

Sill Bimmons

Murray would have taken Game Two as well.

Dude is the future of Confluence goaltending.

Brocky

Hey, its tuesday….

comment image

rockingdog

fun fact: there is a real place called Mexican Hat. it is in Utah.

Spur

Watch out grizzlies, Tony Parker might fuck your wife.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Schlongoria’d

SonOfSpam

New Yawk did not feel the Bern. Wonder if California will be relevant this year (June 7). At least for the GOP I guess.

...

The demographics have been working against Bernie from the very beginning. He needed to make inroads with a lot of groups and never really did.

SonOfSpam

Yep. I like him in the race, highlighting important issues and maybe pulling Hillary a little to the left, but he never had the organization to win nationally.

blaxabbath

Uhhh, yeah. Plus he started a revolution!

(Not really)

King Hippo

the states have pretty much all followed what the rules/demographics would predict, except with Missouri/Michigan reversed.

JustStopDude

Cannot turn away…

rockingdog

good gif right there.

Unsurprised

I might need to go in myself and add a FATALITY graphic.

Spur

NBC calls it for Hillary

JustStopDude

Trump’s hair in low def looks like a Monet painting…

Unsurprised

How did this woman not smash that fucking glass on Rick Snyder’s stupid fucking face?
comment image

Sill Bimmons

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Spur

Who’s that chick duck facing behind Trump?

rockingdog

Quack?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Well, even better John McAfee was at the Libertarian debate the other night.

Yee haw, I like Gary Johnson.

Old School Zero

I like the cut of that ‘A. B. Stain’ fella’s jib.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Was “VI Lenin” John’s uncle?

Unsurprised

Gary Johnson is a fucking asshole. He can get fucked sideways.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Eh I feel the same about everyone else.

Unsurprised

I’ve met him several times and he was my governor for eight years. His late wife was a good person, but I wouldn’t piss on him if he was on fire.

Unsurprised

He also doesn’t know anything about governing.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Where’s Bob Barr when I need him?!?!

King Hippo

That’s who I would have voted for in a Cruz or Trump vs. Sanders race. Or my cat.

JustStopDude

How the fuck did he get away with murdering his neighbor in…Belize I think it was…

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

And Vice got him caught.

The Maestro

To be fair, I wouldn’t wanna fuck with John McAfee. Guy has all the makings of a real life supervillain: really smart, really rich, a known recluse, and also many varying levels of crazy at any given time.

JustStopDude

And meth…mountains and mountains of meth!

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Supposedly people try to hack into his server 40+ times a day, dude’s a strange, fascinating guy.

Spur

Kasich is winning Manhattan.

rockingdog

I still don’t know how to pronounce his name…

The Maestro

Kay-sick.

...

Ass-hole.

Redshirt

How is Canada? Is it a nice place to flee to?

The Maestro

I mean, I love it here.

Old School Zero

Drinking my first Dogfish Head 60 Minute. That’s… damn good.

Unsurprised

What might you recommend for me to pick up around Portland that’s high ABV (because I can only seem to get a buzz from something ≥ 9%)?

Old School Zero

If you can find it, Block 15 Sticky Hands (in tall boy cans) is a high 8% and smells like fresh pot. That’s one of my favorites.

Also, anything Hair Of The Dog. Those tend to be 10% minimum, although their Blue Dot IIPA makes up for being 8%-ish by only appearing in 750 ml bottles. But Hair Of The Dog Fred or Adam are both intense as hell and awesome, but will also make your vision blurry.

Old School Zero

The Hair of the Dog brewery is one of my favorite drop-in spots on the weekend; great sausage and peppers sandwich and awesome beer. Let me know if you ever want to meet up for something tasty there.

My two favorite bottle shops are Belmont Station (on SE Stark) and Saraveza (on N Killingsworth). Can never go wrong browsing at either location, and Saraveza has great food, too.

Unsurprised

I’ve been to Belmont. It was rather overwhelming.

Old School Zero

Oh, yeah. Very much so. Takes a while to get used to. Saraveza has a little more targeted selection, but always good stuff.

SonOfSpam

Had my first one about a month ago. Glad I rectified that.

BEER BEER BEER BEER BEER

Old School Zero

BEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR

King Hippo

Oh snap, I was too busy being mad at el beisbol and happy at los politicos that I missed Ice Stillers taking the lead! WOO!!!

Spur
herodotus450

Are the Spurs the ones travelling or the ones just standing around not playing defense?

Sill Bimmons
Wakezilla

Speaking of Trump, Salma Hayek burned him today in a tweet.

http://guyspeed.com/files/2014/03/33.gif

SonOfSpam

Great. Yet another freeloading immigrant.

JustStopDude

I am still bitter about “Once Upon a Time in Mexico” because there was criminally not enough Salma.

Spur

Wrecked on TBS looks worth a watch.

Doktor Zymm

I hope Trump performs a campaign stunt where he pees all along his proposed route for the wall to Mark his Territory as America!

JustStopDude

As a political junkie…I still cannot wrap around my head he has done this well. I mean ALL the rules have been broken. Its fascinating.

We are literally electing a parody twitter account to the highest office in the land.

Sill Bimmons

Thanks to people like you.

JustStopDude

What you got against the World’s Workers Party?!?

Doktor Zymm

Sill, I would prefer to stay out of this argument, so could you please keep your reprisals to your own posts? I fully respect your medical knowledge, and I just want to make some silly Trump jokes in peace.

Sill Bimmons

I’m afraid I cant do that DZ

comment image

Sill Bimmons

Has there EVER been a piece on this site casting aspersions on your sta·tis·ti·cal an-al-y-sis?

N-O-P-E

F-U-C-K T-H-A-T S-H-I-T

Doktor Zymm

No one really believes statistics or economics. Watching this entire political campaign is basically the economic equivalent of reading an article about anti-vaxxers.

Sill Bimmons

J-U-S-T

S-A-Y-I-N

Redshirt

New York says that Trump is most likely to beat Clinton?! DO THEY NOT UNDERSTAND HOW A GENERAL ELECTION WORKS?!

Unsurprised

I’d sooner vote for Trump.

SonOfSpam

No. No one on TV understands anything.

As a filthy dirty non-gay-but-I-like-watching-lesbians unwashed commie liberal, I sincerely hope Trump is the GOP candidate.

Redshirt

comment image

Spur

For being the “Democratic” party, they sure do bend the rules a lot.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Bill knows how to bend interns, though.

Unsurprised

This is why I quit volunteering and doing anything political.

Doktor Zymm

What rules? A political party is a private organization, they can do whatever they hell they want within the law.

Unsurprised

It’s just sad that democracy is anathema to how the Democratic Party functions.

Redshirt

So on a scale of 0 to 10, 0 being a humble, gracious Trump and 10 being Trump masturbating on stage to the cheers of his minions, what type of Trump are we going to get tonight?

SonOfSpam

13, maybe 14.

The Maestro

Probably an 8. He’ll be excited, but I don’t think he’ll be worked up an insane amount about a primary that was pretty much already in the bag for him.

Spur

Fingering Giuliani while selling his Trump Vodka.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

It’s Ipecac in a glass bottle! TM

SonOfSpam

“Fingering Giuliani” is my alt-folk-core band.

Brocky

and now on the field, It would appear an errant foul ball has struck papa john in the temple, the crowd is cheering,

Ned yost appears to have…, Yes folks, Ned yost appears to have pissed himself laughing. John still on the ground, we’ve seen no attempt to aid him as of yet

Sill Bimmons

Imagine that you’re a BMW mechanic.

Imagine that a BMW owner just walked into your BMW garage and told you how to repair his BMW vehicle.

I imagine that you’d be a bit put out by this.

Then imagine that your 12+ understanding of human biology and the evolution that led to that biology was under attack.

Not questioning.

Attack.

By people who know nothing about your field. In fact, they work against that knowledge every chance they get.

And these people are not only given a voice, it it a voice heard throughout the country.

Would you be so understanding of a bunch of fucking idiots undermining everything you stood for?

http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/adventuretimewithfinnandjake/images/8/8c/Nope.gif

herodotus450
JustStopDude

Not helping…

Funny…but not helping…

Sill Bimmons

I’ll be the judge of that, engineer.

You do realize that all the things I do to help humanity are diametrically opposed to the work that you do?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

You do realize you’re starting to sound like the very people who are pissing you off?

Sill Bimmons

Yep.

Don’t fucking care because violence in rhetoric is the only way to make idiots like you care.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Oh get the fuck over yourself.

JustStopDude

Sill…

I am alive today because of the work of countless people. When my mom was pregnant with me, she was advised to abort me as I would most likely not survive childbirth.

A team of surgeons, researchers, doctors, and nurses were not only able to save my life as a child, but they did such a bang up job that I was able to enlist in the military for six years despite having three fused vertebra and a metal hip.

Its annoying to set off airport security all the time…and I piss myself on an infrequent basis due to the long term effects of scar tissue pressing against my spinal column, but all things considered, I am extremely happy with their work.

As per what I do as an engineer…I’m gonna be that guy building that Trump wall. Its going to be HUUUUUUUGE. And it will be paid for by Mexicans.

Sill Bimmons

ALALALLALALALAL

JustStopDude

I hope you work through whatever shit is causing this bro…

Wakezilla

From what I understand about US politics and education, that’s exactly what’s happening.

/rim shot

Sill Bimmons

It’s the only way it can ever great again is unless all of us care about our grandmothers as much as ourselves.

Spur

Kayleigh McEnany and Amanda Carpenter need to make out already…

Doktor Zymm

In addition to my smart fan, I also just got a couple Wio Links : http://www.seeedstudio.com/wiki/Wio_Link and a bunch of sensors. And I just ordered a few Raspberry Pis to set up my own Hadoop cluster, and then I can automate and optimize my whole apartment!

Buying a condo has really opened up a whole new world of nerdy hobbies for me.

Spur

comment image

JustStopDude

Just read this…

“Chris Sevier has filed a lawsuit against the Harris County district clerk, Governor Greg Abbott and Attorney General Ken Paxton for denying him the right to marry his Mac because he is trying to make a pretty cruel argument. He is trying to prove that, essentially, marriage between the members of a same-sex couple can be equated to marriage between a man and a machine. He is trying to prove that, under Obergefell v. Hodges, the landmark U.S. Supreme Court case that legalized same-sex marriage, people are now allowed to do morally disgusting things like marry whomever they are attracted to, whether that be inanimate objects or members of the same gender.”

I really need to turn the news feed off on my phone so I don’t go insane…

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Ugh, just shove a lubed USB cord up your ass and be on your way Mr. Sevier.

Redshirt

All they had to do was make an argument that Slavery was not repealed by the Supreme Court, it was repealed by the Will of the People. Woman didn’t gain the right to vote by the Supreme Court, it was repealed by the Will of the People.

Instead of a passionate argument against liberal justices and having the American people stand up in one voice and say “This is wrong, lets change it.” We get shit like this.

No wonder we lost.

...

I want to believe this statement applies to me due to my DFO name.

Unsurprised

This is why Rule 11 exists, and God willing he gets hammered into dogshit for it.

Spur

What’s the appeal for black people and Hillary Clinton? Not trying to start a fight or anything, just honestly don’t understand it.

Redshirt

Democrats give them free stuff with nothing in return.

Also, the options are Bill’s Bitch, a Jew, a Racist, a Bigot and an Old White Guy. Its not a choice; is a lack of options.

King Hippo

She worked hard for, and earned the trust and clear (if tacit) support of Barack Obama.

JustStopDude

African Americans, as a voting group, are far more conservative than most white Americans realize.

Sen Clinton is a centralist.

I realize that many people may not agree with this perception but if you look at voting breakdown on social issues especially, African Americans tend to be conservative.

Spur

Yep. That explanation wraps up my question.

...

I think one of the most obnoxious things about this campaign has been a certain segment of Bernie Sanders supporters who condescend minorities for not “feeling the Bern.”

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I actually have nuance on this so here:

Bernie really annoys black people because he treats them like a monolithic radical voting bloc; however black Democrats are much more religious and socially conservative than any other D voters. I believe 1/3 describe themselves as conservative but vote Democrat.

Also, Bernie goes after two Clinton bills in particular, the 1994 crime and 1996 welfare reform, as racist laws; however, a good deal of blacks supported them including 67% on the latter. As much as Hillary panders, she has never said the following on national TV: “When you’re white, you don’t know what it’s like to be living in a ghetto. You don’t know what it’s like to be poor.” That didn’t go over well with a lot of people.

Basically in states that have 30% or more combined black and hispanic populations, he’s getting his ass kicked. As that number rises, he is getting his ass kicked more.