Pointless EPL Weekend WOO!

Huzzah FOAR Foxy Footy, your 2015-16 English Premier League champions!!

Thanks to Chelski rallying from a 2-nil halftime deficit to draw Spurs, the title race is over. So…now what?

FUCKALL. That’s what.

There’s the race to the bottom, but annoyingly enough, the Barcodes have by far the easiest schedule and thusly path to safety. So it looks like Sunderland and Norwich will join Villa on the journey down.

And I suppose there is just a tiny bit of suspense in who finishes 3rd (last CL slot without playing in the qualifying rounds) and 4th (last CL slot period), but…meh.

On teevee Saturday, Norwich play United first (7:45, NBCSN), needing 3 to keep hope alive. United is the side chasing 4th. Villa/Newcastle (10:00, NBCSN) and Sunderland/Chelski (10:00, USA) are next. See what I mean by schedule?

Lastly, tune into USA for the spotlight dance at 12:30, to see Leicester’s home finale. Will they be too hungover to throttle Everton and “dead man walking” manager Roberto Martinez? I am betting not, but maybe it will only be 2-nil instead of 4 or 5.

Sunday starts with Spurs and Soton (8:30, NBCSN), and one has to wonder what the atmosphere at White Hart Lane (and the spirit in the home side) will be like. 3rd place Arsenal and 4th place City go at it to close the weekend (11:00, NBCSN), and they will swap positions (on goal differential) if City get all 3 points.

Season ends next Sunday, yo.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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scotchnaut

Very Best Meal That Someone Else Cooked-(non-restaurant edition)

My East-Indian girlfriend’s father cooked something called “Biryani”. I now understand it as a type of rice but for him it was rice, potatoes, ghee, marrow bones and spices all mixed together. That was awesome. The girlfriend upped the ante the next morning when she broke an egg over the leftovers that she was re-heating. Just…. Wow….

/weigh in , won’t you?

theeWeeBabySeamus

I think I speak for everyone when I say we’re more interested in hearing moar about East Indian GF.
/photos or it didn’t happen

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Sorry, my last date. I have dry skin.

scotchnaut

It did happen.

My wife to be was super-impressed when my piece-of-shit mudder said ” She was by far the most beautiful girl that scotchnaut ever dated.”

laserguru

There is nothing that can’t be improved by adding a nice runny egg over the top.

/foreshadowing!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Mine’s easy. My mother is a really great cook, so I got spoiled growing up on really good food. Also learned a thing or two from her, so I don’t have to get take out all the damned time and cook better than most heterosexual males (no offense yeah right…you da boss).
But something I’ve never been able to cook as well as she can is Kung Pao Chicken (or Chicken and Cashews either). Mine are always are lacking, and I’ve yet to figure out why exactly.

But every year on my birthday, starting at around 16, she makes it for me. Best damn shit I ever tasted.

ALXMAC

Well the simple answer is that you didn’t make it yourself; at least that’s what my mom explained to me as to why her grilled ham and cheeses taste better than mine. Also, I assume she laces it with painkillers or other opiates.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah, I’m sure that has an effect. But it’s more than that.
She’s holding back on me with something. Some subtle spice or something.
I’ll figure it out eventually, but for now…
“Yes Mom, I’ll have more”.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Between family meals and cooking on the grill at home there were so many good ones I can’t narrow it down. One party comes to mind; they did a pig in a pit Hawaiian style BBQ; that has got to be the best pork I’ve had. Plus a certain woman in a grass skirt.

laserguru

Pork would be on my best meal that I didn’t cook. My oldest brother’s ex was half Filipino and her mother was full Filipino. A couple of times a year they would invite everyone over. They would dig a pit and do a whole roast pig along with some homemade lumpia, adobo, and pancit. Holy shit.
Just amazing. The mom and her 4 daughters would start cooking, chopping etc around 3 in the morning and they cooked all day.
I love Filipino food.
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laserguru

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why you no post, image?

laserguru

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JustStopDude

Biryani is like barbecue in the states. What I mean is that its spread all over and various cultures have their own takes on it.

I personally like the way the Malaysians do it.

...

I can officially never mention politics again on Facebook as I’ve set an unbreakable record for number of posts it takes to get everything I typed deleted and blocked from seeing anything of the deletor: One.

SonOfSpam

I’m guessing you were saying something in support of that LIEING MURDERERER BENGAHZI BULLDIKE BITCH KILLORY!!!11!!!1!!!!11

Why don’t you want to make America great again?

...

Ha. Sort of.

Someone had posted an article mentioning how Hillary running was bring out underlying misogyny in the same way Obama’s campaign brought out underlying racism. I agree with the premise even if I don’t think misogyny is the dominant attitude in the Bernie campaign, but I digress.

Anyway, a guy writes a long post about how he alright with a reluctant Hillary vote until he had to deal with awful Hillary supporters who branded him a sexist for offering any sort of criticism. Now, he has no interest in supporting her at all.

I point out that this is punishing one person for the sins of another and that it was spiteful and irrational and that I personally would not do that.

This guy just loses his shit saying how I was being condescending just like all the other Hillary supporters. When another guy interjects saying that ICRM does have a point, that triggers another back-and-forth in which the guy says he’s really sticking to his principles with his spite vote because he never wanted to support her at all. (I guess he didn’t read his original post.) I reply with that it’s fine if he won’t support her due to ideology and that I didn’t know what to say if he thought a fair but personal criticism was condescending.

Just a couple minutes later, I couldn’t find anything either he or I had written. I also couldn’t find the guy on Facebook meaning that he blocked and likely deleted everything I said.

My guess, based on his reaction to me, is that he’s actually pretty shitty to Hillary supporters and that’s the reason they’re shitty back.

So yeah, no more commenting for me.

SonOfSpam

Could any commentist in Kentucky put a couple bucks on #10 Whitmore for me? And maybe include #17 Mor Spirit in an exacta box? (heh, “box”) K thx bai

Since I’m a fan of longer shots today, bet the mortgage on Nyquist.

laserguru

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
scotchnaut

I once bought a super-serious academic magazine because some dude was claiming that Russ Meyer was a feminist. Also, there were pics of impossibly-breasted females.

laserguru

I always bought them for the articles too.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That aside; he treated the women he worked with better than most; put in context of the time it was not common.

scotchnaut

If I recall correctly, the gist was that “strong” women killing men was progress.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He couldn’t make them strong without being crazy if he wanted to sell anything. The context of the times is critical.

Wakezilla

Ice #BFIB just beat the Ice Cowboys. Good for my pool, bad for entertaining hockey.

http://orig07.deviantart.net/8050/f/2012/055/6/7/67966906d2667f3278e21402fece6acd-d4qslmy.jpg

theeWeeBabySeamus

TMI Moment…

I’m at most a moderate fan of the superhero genre. That’s probably an overstatement in fact. But damn if Supergirl and Powergirl cosplays don’t get me every time.

WCS

The Kentucky Derby is further evidence that white people have ruined everything.

Wakezilla

Nah. It’s evidence we need to eat the rich.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-0lAhnoDlU

...

Each the rich with mint? Love it.

JustStopDude

I fucking hate the Preakness. I seriously fucking do.

A group of black people in Baltimore acted have as fucking crazy as the white people in the infield of the Preakness does, the President would call for the army to invade.

http://i.imgur.com/ZRdvBfN.gif

The need to just demolish the fucking racetrack already. It doesn’t make money 364 days of the year. No one goes there except for the Preakness, and they could just as easily have a fucking field out in the suburbs for white people to act drunk and stupid at.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Plenty of those too.
I speak from experience.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

Counterpoint (not the hat so much).
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theeWeeBabySeamus

Much better hat choice.
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Somehow, I can’t bring myself to get excited about horsies running in a oval.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I actually agree. Betting opportunity seems to make others feel differently tho.

I also have the same block with NASCAR.

laserguru

I’ve got Exaggerator at 8-1.

Money always adds the excitement.

...

Yeah. My total lack of interest in gambling on games of chance ensures that I won’t care.

JustStopDude

You know…I think the real unsung hero for Leicester City, and the person that should be targeted to be poached by other clubs, is Steve Walsh. That’s the head scout of the team that picked up Riyad Mahrez, Jamie Vardy and N’Golo Kanté for next to fucking nothing.

I hear Arsenal is already trying to get him.

Wakezilla

Steve Walsh? That doesn’t sound like a name of young French boy would have.

laserguru

This is the only Steve Walsh I know.

Great guitarist.

Wakezilla

As Rob and I have mentioned, NHL playoffs ratings in Canada are down by 60% and counting. As I flipped it over to Sportsnet, I see a preview of what’s to come today. Apparently, George Strombolopouous, Nick Kypreos and Elliot Friedman are going to interview Mark fucking Messier.

George S has a music background and was hired a couple of years ago to replace an incompetent, over-paid piece of shit named Ron Mclean. Naturally, not having a hockey background hurt Strombo, and he’s so bad as a TV host, people are actually yearning for the “good” old days of Side Face Mclean. Strombo is at his “best” when he makes horrible music comparisons to players, or just starts to tell music stories. Or he did. I dunno, you couldn’t pay me enough to watch this shit.

Nick Kypreos is a former NHL player who is essentially what you would get if you combined Stephen A Smith’s loudness with Skip Bayless trolling, sprinkled in with severe brain damage (which probably has something to do with this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGe8lRfLGoU)

And then there’s Elliot fucking Pelican face Friedman. He’s a smug asshole with no charisma, charm, jokes and apparently (I only heard this through people foolish enough to not change the channel when he speaks) admitted on TV recently that he is happy there’s hockey news going on because he’s tired of making up rumours.

By the way, his made up rumours are incredibly stupid and anyone paying some sort of attention can detect the bullshit from his stupid rumours. Yes, he’s fucking terrible at lying and comes across as insincere.

Yeah, I can’t imagine why ratings are down.

Also, fuck Mark Messier.

Yeah, I can’t imagine

JustStopDude

Its amazing…Claudio had to call the owner and his son to stand with the players as you can tell, the owner didn’t want to be in the way.

Meanwhile in the US, the owners are just handed the trophy and give a fucking speech like they are the reason we follow sports.

...

And why, good sir, do you disrespect the benevolent Mr. Kraft for all the good he’s done for us?!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

$2.98 is actually a really good price for that.

Wakezilla

I know that’s what it’s like in the NFL. Is it like that in the NBA and MLB, too? NHL isn’t like that.

Wakezilla

Theory: Leicester fans aren’t as crazy as you would think because they cut off the alcohol sales earlier than normal for people to sober up/have a heightened security presence. In other words, the real party starts after everyone leaves.

h ttp://costumei.com/pictures/2013/05/Megan-Fox-In-A-Supergirl-Costume.jpg

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Sorry, but that picture is a lot more NSFW than people often realize.

Wakezilla

/does scan. . . . sees nothing. . . sees nothing. . . Starts to wonder what Rikki was smo— OHHHHHHHHHH SHIT!

Oops, sorry about that.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

No worries; it’s subtle but I’ve seen it before and know where to look.

JustStopDude

Well…the LCFC…seem to be happy about this season…

Horatio Cornblower

Ken Singleton as the Yankees load the bases against David Price: “You can sense that the crowd is starting to get a buzz right now.”

Well it is the 4th inning Ken; that’s a solid hour of drinking.

/Headley pops out, because Headley sucks.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Fucking David Price is fucking killing my fucking fantasy team.

JustStopDude

NBC is going to cut immediately to something stupid right?

I’m guessing Dressage…

Horatio Cornblower

This Leicester crowd seems remarkably sedate given the circumstances.

Horatio Cornblower

Exactly. I was expecting a lot more of that.

JustStopDude

You can’t actually drink alcohol at your seat in Premiere League Match…

Methinks a lot of them folks are sober not wanting to miss anything compared to a US sporting event.

...

Really? Is that rule in place due to soccer hooliganism of the past?

JustStopDude

Hooliganism. Its also quite easy to get a long term ban. Even being linked as a member of a firm, its enough to get a 10 year, England wide ban.

Wakezilla

All ready hungover

JustStopDude

I still cannot wrap my head around the fact that British bookies gave 5000 to 1 odds on Leicester City.

That is utterly moronic. I mean its almost like they don’t bother doing any analysis. I mean the big theme this year is how shoestring the LCFC payroll is…which is true just on payroll, but in terms of scouting, the Thai owners has dumped insane amount of money into upgrading the whole health of the organization from top to bottom.

The previous season, the team was insanely unlucky. I’m not saying anyone should have seen Leicester City winning the whole thing, but its not like they had ZERO chance.

...

Well, 5000-1 isn’t zero and I’m betting they set that line based on the fact next to no one was putting any money on Leicester. (Odds of the Cubs winning the World Series are better than 4:1 now, which isn’t an accurate measure of how likely they are to win.)

And wasn’t Leicester widely thought to be at risk of relegation coming into this season?

JustStopDude

They had better odds that both Claudio would be the first fired manager and they would be relegated. I can’t remember the exact odds…but I think it was something like 12 to 1 that both happened.

...

Crazy.

Wakezilla

Well, in European Soccer, it’s more about who has the biggest payroll than anything. 5000-1 makes sense because even if they were in the top 3 by the Christmas break, that usually wouldn’t be enough from stopping the big money clubs from spending a cool 100 million to buy a player or two, which would be enough for them to beat out a team like the Foxes. Historically, that’s what usually happens. Hell, it’s not uncommon for those big market teams to complete a transfer with the upstart team. The upstart team gets a big return and cash flow to economically survive for the season (and qualify for the Europa league), while the big club team gets a player for their bench or practice squad.

The sad reality is, the free market historically handicaps 90% of the league from actually winning. What we’re seeing is something we’ll probably never see in our lifetime.

JustStopDude

Oh Vardy…flopping again…

laserguru

So I decided to give my doctor the option of doing a fasting blood draw which means I haven’t had anything to eat or drink since yesterday.
Get me a burrito stat.

Horatio Cornblower

I hope those obstructed view seats are REALLY cheap.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Porn used to be more difficult.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Midwood_Books

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

*splooosh

Horatio Cornblower

I certainly hope their are no splinters on that bannister.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Smooooooth….. now smooth AND moist.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
scotchnaut

Mill Street Original Lager, Water, Red Knot Shiraz and Dalwhinnie over here.

/you?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
JustStopDude

Nati Boh Hon!…cause I am trash from Baltimore…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
scotchnaut

I’ve put you in the “Silly Shiraz Hater” category. Enjoy.

I spy with my eye, an inebriated bald Englishman.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
JustStopDude

Poland takes their children basketball games serious…

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ballsofsteelandfury

If I had a nickel…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

One nickel is not that much….

ballsofsteelandfury

But it’s shiny!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Let’s face it; some people are really afraid of big beavers.

http://66.media.tumblr.com/59d1b95d07d88cceec89b677a07c845d/tumblr_o455gmkM7h1r7dgeuo1_1280.jpg

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Rudy Ray Moore is not one of those people.

ballsofsteelandfury

To be fair, it’s the hair that’s scary…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

A man has to know how survive in the jungle as well as the desert.

ballsofsteelandfury

That’s why I carry my own machete and water bottle.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Let the jungle be the jungle
Let the desert be the desert
Walk amongst thee

JustStopDude

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JustStopDude

Fucking Leicester City…you guys are suppose to be hungover as shit and partied out so this game ends up being a boring disappointment…

You aren’t suppose to score in 5 minutes…

JustStopDude

Rudy Ray Moore just perked up at the idea of an all-you-can-eat-ass buffet…

JustStopDude

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Rudy Ray has a theme…. and I like his theme.

JustStopDude

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JustStopDude

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Why didn’t they turn this comic book into an action movie series?

http://66.media.tumblr.com/06d90d8d5366e3e4d4d8abb7ae1bf42b/tumblr_o5zszrKUNs1u3vseto1_1280.jpg

laserguru

They did. It was called The Sopranos.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
JustStopDude

Okay…the pregame stuff before the Leicester match, in the stadium…is pretty fucking epic.

I wish they would just show that, without commentary, for an hour.

laserguru

So I was all set for the surgery on Monday but my primary care physician just called and they have to do one more blood draw.
All of my vitals are excellent so far.
What’s pretty cool is he noticed that I always carry a book with me. Always. I was reading Cormac McCarthy the Orchard Keeper last visit and he told me that he brought about 5 books for me to read.
My doctor is in his 70’s and he’s bringing me books.

I’m going to give him some Woodrell but I’ll probably hold off on the Frank Bill.
My doctor is pretty fucking cool.
Now I have to get up and give some more fucking blood.

laserguru

Russ Meyer was criminally underrated.

Super Vixens 4lyfe!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

From all I’ve seen an actual “nice guy” that treated people fairly in a business that didn’t often have people who did.

JustStopDude

Rudy Ray Moore was through with it, before you knew what to do with it.

http://respect-mag.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/rudy-ray-moore-zodiac_480_poster.jpg

JustStopDude

Hehe…Chelsea…what a fucking train wreck…and how is Newcastle not putting away Aston Villa?

Leicester City is going to lose by like 5 right? I don’t know how you even try to focus on this game as a player…

JustStopDude

Speaking of Aston Villa…throwing inflatable sex dolls onto the pitch is a nice way of protesting!

I also like how the British announcers actually take the time to explain why the fan base is so pissed off and frustrated. As oppose to the way we would do it in the States, and the announcers would be saying its classless or bad for the game.

FUCKING RANDY LERNER IS BAD FOR THE GODDAMN GAME!

Spanky Datass

Swansea has been out played in all facets except the score. Currently up 3 – 0 in the 60th minute.

JustStopDude

So apparently…and its not really that surprising, but according to NBC, basically everyone, including Paterno, at Happy Valley knew Sandusky was raping kids and people did fuck all other than protect the school’s football program.

Here is what I don’t get. You have an organization that will do anything, including running a decade long pedo ring for a football program…and you end up with basically UCLA level of success?!?

Honestly, I think the whole reason Penn State wasn’t slammed with the death penalty is because their program has been shit for a while now having a geriatric, senile, pedo-lover calling the plays. Had they won a national championship or three, death penalty all the way.

Spanky Datass

The sparts radio guys kicked the Paterno subject around for a segment yesterday during my drive to my folks place and I got so pissed I had to stop, get some ice cream and walk around. Paterno knew about this shitbird for MORE THAN THIRTY YEARS!?!?! FUCK!!

Moral of the story: Ice cream makes bad shit better.
http://youqueen.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/gorgeous-girl-with-ice-cream.jpg

Horatio Cornblower

The reason Penn State wasn’t slammed is because the NCAA is terrified of another SMU death penalty that will totally destroy a program, and in this case it wouldn’t be some non-historical program like SMU, but one with the tradition and history.

However, since that tradition and history involves ignoring one of the coaches ass-raping little kids I would argue that the death penalty should be brought back in this case, and with a vengance.

JustStopDude

Yeah it just shows the insane hypocrisy of the NCAA. Although its important to note that the SMU death penalty not only destroyed SMU’s program, it also killed the Southwest Conference. I can get how the NCAA doesn’t want another chaotic situation like this. And its important to note that the Southwest Conference was a free for all. At one point, only three fucking teams were not under sanctions during a season. In a lot of ways, the SMU Death Penalty was done as a massive “we aren’t fucking around now people…stop this shit”.

What bothers me is that even without the Death Penalty, the NCAA has basically gone back and de-fanged the punishment they gave to Penn State.

The other thing that bothers me is this…there is a conception that somehow the program was clean with the exception of a decade long pedophile ring. That’s a fucking joke.

At this point, one has to ask, what would a big name school have to do to get the death penalty?

Horatio Cornblower

I’d say they’d have to offer a human sacrifice during practice to appease the football gods but Brian Kelly already did that and Notre Dame is still around.

...

Outstanding.

ballsofsteelandfury

Alternatively, you can watch BeIn where the two Champions League finalists are fighting to take the league title away from Barcelona with two games to go. Atleti are tied in points but behind on goals difference and Real are only 1 point behind. ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN!

laserguru

So what is the motivation level if the title has already been decided?
It can’t be great for the teams nor the attendance.
I understand having a reason to drink but

Depends on the team, as Hippo alluded, there’s about 5 teams at the top who are trying to secure the 2-5 spots, since those qualify for the Champions and Europa leagues, which means more money. There’s also 3 teams fighting to stay in the league, which also means more money. But for the teams placed 7-16, they’ve locked up their position in the league, but they can’t qualify for the European league, so there’s not much for them to play.

laserguru

Why thank you. That is a clear and lucid statement.
But why Dorsett?

Looks like this Man U game has been dreck, since the announcer has been going on about the lack of quality and effort for a good 5 minutes now.

montythisseemsstrangetome

See what I mean by schedule?

Ummmm…. yes?

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