Your Friday The 13th Open Thread

WhyEaglesWhy -
284

Today I bring you an open thread from the future, where it is already Friday the 13th in DFO’s Adelaide bureau, but only the waning hours of the 12th in our Wichita headquarters. I can report that nothing unlucky has happened yet, but based on my understanding of theoretical physics, there’s still time for me to disappear from all photographs if one of you makes out with my mom.

Tonight in the NHL playoffs, the Ice Stillers face off with the Ice Bucs in Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Finals. Pittsburgh is the heavy and deserving favorite, but the way Tampa has been playing, I expect a long and nasty series. Friday the 13th curses offer no clue as to the winner, but both Nick Bonino and Cedric Paquette are advised to step lightly.

friday13

 

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hey, look at that, airplane wifi. Whaddup?

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ballsofsteelandfury

You, apparently.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

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WCS

The Pens look about as good as trying to pee a cactus out whole, but, the Ice Bucs’ defense is doing an exceptional job blocking shots and closing passing lanes.

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King Hippo

40 minutes until I can drink along with the dulcet tones of Vin Scully. And learn MOAR about my el beisbol side than I will from my home broadcasters in the rest of the season’s games combined. Huzzah.

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Doktor Zymm

Oh look, they’re putting low light cameras on phones now, so young people who don’t understand about privacy or accountability can fuck up their lives even more by posting even more compromising pictures on the internet!

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ballsofsteelandfury

It will circle back. It always does.

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King Hippo

circle back, or circle jerk??

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Doktor Zymm

Depends on the quality of the camera.

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ballsofsteelandfury

comment image

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Senor Weaselo

What was our general outlook last night on the Basketball Seahawks beating the Basketball, uh, Spurs.

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Doktor Zymm

comment image?b64lines=IE1hbmdvLWxpbWUgc2Fsc2E_ISBUaGF0J3MKIHRoZSBraW5kIG9mIGJvbGQgZmxhdm9yCiB0aGV5IGVuam95IGluLi4u

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King Hippo

I have no understanding of teh professional basketball sports enertainment league since Jordan retired.

But I shall take your word for it that it did indeed happen.

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Gratliff

I’d like to congratulate the St. Louis Blues on their first ever Stanley Cup. Good job on it only taking 50 years for everything to break right for you to sneak in.

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Doktor Zymm

comment image

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Itchy tits; America’s secret problem.

http://66.media.tumblr.com/aebf8dacc8b21e75bcf830550f2ffe95/tumblr_o478um0XBS1t8c7yco1_r2_500.gif

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Doktor Zymm

I hate it when crumbs fall down in there.

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Doktor Zymm

If you have kids, tell them to stay in school for 30 years. It’s totally worth it.

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Doktor Zymm

So yesterday was an annoying stay late to do urgent work kind of work day, but today was an awesome work day. My old job was awesome, and my new job is even awesomer. My new team is kickass, and we had an after work happy hour today, and they’re all fun drunks! I totally would have hung out with all these people in high school.

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Gratliff

“Obviously we can’t speculate” is the most useless beginning to any sentence ever.

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Doktor Zymm

You can ALWAYS speculate. That’s kind of the definition of speculation, there’s no expectation of being even vaugely correct.

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WCS

Kind of shocked human wet fart Jeremy Roenick didn’t try to blame Bishop’s injury on Sidney Crosby.

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Gratliff

I skip a period and I come back to what I can only assume is Crosby Harding-ing the fuck out of Ben Bishop

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Doktor Zymm

You missed a period? Have you been to the doctor?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He’s a gymnast; it’s common.

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WCS

At this rate, Ice Stillers are going to win this series be default.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Here’s one for you Rex.

http://66.media.tumblr.com/99bf3246436b600bda6c8ecf002a0a98/tumblr_n4ub7caGCg1qcpno5o1_1280.jpg

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WCS

piss

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Just did, but thanks for the reminder.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Pew! Pew!?

http://67.media.tumblr.com/daa79019cd6d5466960d3ba2e7ce9ba7/tumblr_o47eqghjFm1tqzqyro1_1280.jpg

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King Hippo

Karma, Ice MRSA. Sorry that Bishop is the one that got hurt, though.

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WCS

Did Bishop just tear his ACL in a non-contact play? Oof.

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King Hippo

Just ouch. Poor fucking guy.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That sucks.

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King Hippo

See, good things happen when your President is a cool black guy.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

And the taxpayers front the bill for the education.

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WCS

smdh

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King Hippo

He’s been a hell of an ambassador for Annapolis. I have no doubt this has been waaaaayyyyyy net positive for all parties involved.

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WCS

jus prooves NOBAMA deostn’ love the troops

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King Hippo

well, that goes without saying.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Nice rationalization. He will be able to afford to pay the $450,000 back, hell no interest.

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King Hippo

Geno and Sid really have been poop. Huzzah FOAR depth.

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Old School Zero

Gonna make pizza, gonna drink beer.
Gonna make pizza, gonna drink beer.
Gonna make pizza, gonna drink beer.
Then I’m gonna fall asleep; Friday!

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King Hippo

I took a nap so I could have Li’l Sumpin’ Sumpin’ Ale with my VERY LAST TWO Vin Scully Cards games. Bittersweet Friday.

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King Hippo

The Ice MRSA just tried to cripple a guy. Serious.

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King Hippo

Murray? PRESENT!!

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King Hippo

/also BEWBS

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King Hippo

lucky goddamned starfish

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scotchnaut

“She be the finest sextant I ever laid me one eye upon.”

-Blackbeard

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scotchnaut

“In this cornah, Billy F. Buckley. To his left, Noamsky Chomsky. Let’s get ready to RUUUUUMMMMBBBLLLLLLLLLE!

https://youtu.be/gbTxLmbCoo4

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King Hippo

Somebody’s a happy morphine-naut

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://66.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_me809bm1tU1qk8j87o1_500.gif

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Beastmode Ate My Baby

Earlier this week I thought to myself, “Aha! Self, this Friday is the perfect time for a HRTN Friday the 13th episode!” Then I got busy this week, forgot it was going to be the 13th, and totally spaced it.

I am…ashamed.

http://45.media.tumblr.com/eb4293495882a7cab2be57f6c0237e9a/tumblr_nl5sc18XNu1qj7u8ao1_500.gif

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ballsofsteelandfury

YOU DID AN ADMIRABLE JOB! !

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Beastmode Ate My Baby

comment image

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Wait, is he using one person in a sleeping bag to bludgeon another person in a sleeping bag? What’s that from?

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Beastmode Ate My Baby

Jason X. Never let anyone tell you different, it is an awesome Jason movie.

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Beastmode Ate My Baby

Also from Jason X (NSFW):

h
ttps://riversofgrue.files.wordpress.com/2014/01/19ed7a85ef7cd8181d0b5891bd790a0b.gif

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

What a coincidence! *I* love premarital sex too!

/or at least, I did. But marital sex is nice too.

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makeitsnowondem

About to do the thing I never do without beer and watch a horror movie.

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Beastmode Ate My Baby

Which one?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

NBA playoffs.

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scotchnaut

Gigli?

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WCS

Do Ice Bucs fans exist?

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scotchnaut

I’ve been having a bunch of trouble with my foot today-like, lots of pain. Wifey with the nursing background whipped out a bunch of morphine pills half an hour ago. It’s almost nighty-night time folks.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yep, that’s gout for ya.

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scotchnaut

Get goutta here!

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scotchnaut

8 pm. on the Doc Channel-When Jews Were Funny. It’s certainly a much longer documentary than When Jews Were Good At Sports.

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WCS

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

When Jews were funny? They’re not anymore?

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scotchnaut

I’ve a feeling that it’ll be about the Catskills circuit back then and early television. Just a guess.

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Unsurprised

I’ll be honest. Seeing photos of her anymore just makes me angry.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

NSFW:
h

ttp://66.media.tumblr.com/a26f341a458b98a83e896ed75e94dca6/tumblr_o3ng48UJz71v89iy5o2_250.gif

Emily Ratajkowski – Gone Girl [2014]

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Unsurprised

Playing with your limp lizard?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’m sure they will have better pills for you to take then.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Alive, and the proud owner of a wristwatch? It’s a bit aspirational, but yeah, I could see that in my future.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh, wait, it looks like that future would also have to somehow include my persona non grata status at public parks being rescinded.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

FUCK YEAH WRISTWATCHES!!

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Unsurprised

FALSE

Everything isn’t on fire.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Good point; a lot of the American west will have already burnt.

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WCS

I realize it’s early, and most of us aren’t here yet, but, what’s the future dad’s protocol for the baby shower? It’s Sunday afternoon, and the old man and I are planning on going shooting. Wifey doesn’t really expect me to be there, and the general consensus seems for me just to show up at the end to be pack mule and get everything home. That’s standard, right?

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WCS

As always, I appreciate the Queen Tera pics, but, that doesn’t really answer my question.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I am not equipped nor do I want to answer the question, especially since the Queen is the answer to the bigger question.

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laserguru

Yep that’s standard. The ladies in attendance don’t really want guys around anyway. You get the invite so you don’t feel left out.
Go shooting, have some beers and help carry shit out to the cars.

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laserguru

My youngest daughter is having her baby shower next week in San Diego and I’ve been invited.
Love my little girl as much as anything but there’s no way in fuck that I’m going.
I just bought her a really cool stroller and a car seat so I’m off the hook.

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scotchnaut

Prince died several days ago-enough with the purple, lady.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Don’t you be sassin’ Natalie Zea!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So thanks to an early morning trip to the airport, I’ll have to refrain from the booze tonight. Wiggles*, you’ll be drinking for two tonight.

*Assume your nickname is Wiggles at your own discretion; i.e. if you want to get into double bourble tonight.

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

comment image

Fine, but I’m doing it because I want to!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Emma Peel under cover.

http://67.media.tumblr.com/d94ea0bc1f0ae8b8916d9f15ed1a536b/tumblr_ny8harJDN21ufri4go1_1280.jpg

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WCS

Whoa.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Nothing bad as long as you’re not a Crows fan! WOOOOO!!!! Go Geelong Cats!!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Farmersdotcom likes:

Ranch bondage.

http://66.media.tumblr.com/84b6a14a724d6a2a949b7dcef106e03b/tumblr_o72kd59XPS1qhuqtzo1_1280.jpg

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ArmedandHammered

Does the invisible jet not have reclining seats?

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ballsofsteelandfury

I believe that’s invisible doggie style

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Invisible strapon?

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scotchnaut

/watching The African Queen

German Guy: I sentence you to death by hanging!

H. Bogart: [raises eyebrows, sulks]

/that’s good acting!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Fucking millennials.

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scotchnaut

Bogart was a millennial?

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Unsurprised

Yes, please.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

How was Audrey Hepburn?

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scotchnaut

She was AMAZING in The Breakfast Club At Tiffany’s.

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scotchnaut

What? No mention of the Raptors choking away game 6 tonight? I want my not-money back!

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ballsofsteelandfury

Whilst is a severely underused word.

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