Your “Sorry, I Didn’t Get You Anything” Monday Open Thread

Konichiwa, bitches.

I highly recommend Nashville as a tourist destination. Even if country music isn’t your style, they do have a live music scene that makes almost any bar a potential good time. The four main tourist blocks – Broadway, between 1st & 5th – contain enough neon & alcohol to turn a good time great. Just off the main drag are various museums, notably the Country Music Hall of Fame, and the Johnny Cash Museum.

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Here. Always go here.

Even though I was helping with the conference, there was the ability to get out and do stuff. Amongst, I caught a Keith Urban free concert,

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Throwing elbows prepped me for the game!

Game 6 of the Preds-Sharks series,

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THIS is good victory scoreboard.

and engaged in a small pub crawl of local brews.

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Tennessee Brew Works – good time.

It would be a great place to fly into for a stag, especially if a game is on.

Sadly, I was unable to make my way to Vanderbilt’s campus. It’s always nice to go visit other schools & check out bookstores; when donation rules are different, you can see how attractive US institutions are. Plus, I was hoping to locate the Veterinary School and ask them what they did to Jay Cutler prior to graduation. Unfortunately, those questions will have to wait for another day.

Meanwhile, the Cutlers met Billy to discuss a Pumpkins reunion.

Of course those bastards wait until I’ve left to announce the Tennessee Titans waive Zach Mettenberger. Now who will JJ Watt mock for selfies? If Mariota goes down, it’s now up to Jesus Steve McNair’s ghost Matt Cassel. MATT CASSEL?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! What – Matt Leinart wasn’t available? He’d STI that town up right quick. Besides, the place seems tailor-made for a guy like Tebow, but the denim cut-offs ladies wear might make his naughty place feel funny. So, on the whole, if Nissan Stadium didn’t burn down over the Beyonce cancellation, they’ll survive this.

Quick & Belated NHL Predictions:

  • If you like hockey: Pittsburgh in 6; St. Louis in 5.
  • If you hate Gary Bettman: Tampa in 5; San Jose in 6.
It would help if “We The North” wasn’t rep’d by these chodes.

Bas…ket…ball?

Sorry if I’m less than enthused about the Raptors making Canada proud, but I’m just not a huge hoops fan, It possibly probably dates back to school, when I was a late-bloomer, and would constantly get swatted and made fun of during gym because I was 12-18 inches smaller than everyone else. I vaguely remember the Sonics winning a title in 1979, and my brother played soccer against Steve Nash in high school, but otherwise British Columbia was a dead zone for basketball until Nash got drafted by the Suns. Plus, most Canadians are ingrained to be against a Toronto-anything, because then the airwaves become jammed with the kind of faux-patriotism than makes non-Cabbagetowners sick. I don’t remember Canadians being forced to care about Ottawa’s Cup run. I will notice if the game is on, but otherwise DON’T CAAAAAAAAAAAARE!

However, Blue Jays fever? I’D HIT THAT!

Too bad they won’t see each other again until the playoffs. Speaking of which…

NHL: Tampa Bay @ Pittsburgh – 8:00 (Game 2)

NBA: Thunder @ Warriors – 9:00 (Game 1)

Other stuff!

Battle of the Network Stars: ESPN Classic – 7:30

For those of you who didn’t grow up in the 70s, it was a golden age of TV:

https://youtu.be/1vvO3eGzOOo

You couldn’t do this today. “Oh no – now Taraji P. Henson is beating up all the ‘Big Bang’ cast members at once. I think she’s just stabbed Sheldon…”

Monday Night RAW: USA Network – 9:00

  • the “go-home” show before “Extreme Rules”, which would mean more if there wasn’t a blood ban in the PG-era.

RuPaul’s Drag Race: LOGO – 9:00

  • “Grand Finale”. This show is a guilty pleasure, as some of my gay friends are into the Vancouver drag scene. Plus, when I go over to watch, I get to drink all the beer the other “breeders” left behind. EVERYONE BENEFITS!

You wanna have nightmares tonight? Image search “Jay Cutler” at home, not at work. CAN’T UNSEE!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Brocky

*add your own context*

WCS

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Nice time to get a goal, Sid.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Brocky
Brocky

Moose, I ain’t trying to steal your thunder, but if we’re doing WW gifs, got to do a few of my favorites:

http://37.media.tumblr.com/84e08c87938394ad3339371953937154/tumblr_mzus7hHZeC1qa8jfto3_400.gif

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I saw that one but had to get the running ones first.

Needed posting nonetheless.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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rockingdog
theeWeeBabySeamus

Express Yourself – Madonna
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GsVcUzP_O_8
/shows self out

Spanky Datass
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That’s what I wanted….

theeWeeBabySeamus

Bomb pop nipples?
Don’t we all? Amirite?

Unsurprised

The Lethal Weapon series trailer looks decent. Though it helps that it’s taking a lot from the original movie. Though I fail to see how Riggs gets away with his shit without being forced to take a ton of PTSD medication.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cXZdEmvcFdU

Senor Weaselo

If it’s bad and forced, does it mean we’re all too old for this shit?

Unsurprised

NOOOOOOOOOO!

All we have is fuckery.

theeWeeBabySeamus

To be fair, we do also have a moderate amount of shittery.

Senor Weaselo

Hmm, should I do it?

rockingdog

I just use my imagination and do this. especially during long car rides.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That new TBS show “Wrecked” looks bad.

rockingdog

Weird question: have any of you ever laughed so hard that it made you fart? then laughed even more?

Unsurprised

Yes

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
JustStopDude

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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

So Steven Stamkos getting hurt is the best thing that could have happened to Jonathan Drouin, no?

Unsurprised

I wonder how often JJ has yelled this at Roger Goodell
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I don’t think JJ knows a good decision when he sees it.

Unsurprised

That’s never stopped him or anyone else.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Not the point.

Spanky Datass

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King Hippo

why isn’t football back?

theeWeeBabySeamus

I didn’t realize CB was an LFL fan. Here we see her enjoying a halftime beverage…..
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Senor Weaselo

On an unrelated note, tWBS was found dead Tuesday morning with repeated stabs. A broken beer bottle was found on the scene.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehe yeah….I’ll probably pay for that one.

rockingdog

because Roger Goodell wants us all to suffer.

Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

Because Donald Trump killed the USFL.

Spanky Datass

The potatoes and helmets were too small.
http://i.onionstatic.com/avclub/2934/17/16×9/960.jpg

...

Tiny potatoes for tiny fingers.

Unsurprised

It all makes sense! Trump is descended from carnies!

rockingdog

Ive started reading reddit/Showerthoughts more recently.
Here’s one: The world isn’t getting dumber, it just seems like its easier for dumb people to get their thoughts heard.

WCS

The interwebz will do that.

Unsurprised

As Frotcast Bret put it: The Internet wasn’t worth it.

King Hippo

identifying teh stupid and unhinged and racialist is pretty useful. quite unpleasant, though…

Unsurprised

But there’s no option to kill or sterilize them over TCP/IP, so why bother?

Unsurprised

Reddit is the clearinghouse for idiots, racists, and childfuckers.

rockingdog

Livingston with the SLAM!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yikes…how did that NOT find the net?

WCS

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JustStopDude

What is better than “Ultimate Tazer Ball”? A German TV host trying to explain and play the game…

https://youtu.be/X7BA4WCKPsY?t=349

WHY ISN’T THIS AN OLYMPIC SPORT?!?!

WCS

WCS
...

I really enjoy Anna Chlumsky’s character in Veep.

Unsurprised

She was so funny last night talking to the redneck.

King Hippo

verily, a national treasure. does a similar angry eyes thing as Sweet Dee

rockingdog

Warriors vs Thunder. this series should be good.

WCS

rockingdog
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ok, I feel like ass. Going to rewatch Archer and pass out. Make sure only good teams win tonight. Should be easy since the Cardinals aren’t playing.

King Hippo

#BestOffDayInBaseball

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

https://youtu.be/QT4i6kfmHhQ

Which sport is more stupid?

I think I would at least watch idiots getting tazered…

JustStopDude

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Unsurprised

The female doctor or scientist with the glasses from Robocop and Robocop 2 (though she’s sans glasses in 2) is pretty.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Tonight’s dinner: soup, tea, and EmergenC. Being sick eats a bag of dicks.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

You don’t have to be sick to do that, though.

WCS


Don’t forget the scotch.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

In my younger days, I once convinced myself that drinking grape juice was good for you when you’re sick, and there wasn’t a difference between that and drinking a bottle of wine.

King Hippo

uh oh

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Replay.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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WCS

Oh, what the hell…

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King Hippo

like having Fleury back. Or shit…Barrasso

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

WHERE’S FUCKING J-S AUBIN?

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Unsurprised

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Should be the new Bond IMO.

Unsurprised

He’s too good for the Bond franchise.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I think he would make it better. But yeah; he’s too real.

Unsurprised

Maybe it’s also that Daniel Craig has done too good of a job portraying Bond as a piece of shit who just happens to be our piece of shit.

Unsurprised

I should clarify: James Bond is a douchebag psychopath. He’s not a spy; he’s a counterintelligence assassin. This is fine and all, and the character has persisted for a long time for many reasons, from his origin as a post-empire icon of fleeting British power to an allegory for the evolving role of human espionage in changing political climates. However, at this point the character will never not be the fantasy of a SOE officer who died long long ago.

And I’m not sure that his former CIA officer character in the upcoming Bastille Day will be any better, but I’d rather he be given the opportunity to give a character his own identity and myth rather than just glomming onto a legacy character for the sake of name recognition.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I hear you; I like the franchise in the Craig form and the early Connery form. Craig is too old for that activity level. I would like to see Elba in a lot more things because he does very well IMO.

Unsurprised

I’m also not super excited to see a 50 year old do kung-fu because if I want to watch idiots punch each other there are tons of better outlets.

theeWeeBabySeamus

WTG Pens.
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King Hippo

Man, these announcers sure has a boner FOAR TEH Ice MRSA

Unsurprised

Moose’s origin story in a single gif.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

They dropped all at once.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Was actually a high kicking cheerleader at a college football game…. among other “incidents.”

Unsurprised

Late bloomer, eh?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Good one, but yeah, nine years old is too late for a lot of alter boys.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
WCS

So that’s what Ape is up to these days…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That was his uncle; he got his boner broken in this fight scene. Stuff work is dangerous.

http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view4/4810224/lynda-carter-muscle-o.gif

Unsurprised

Man, GoT was so good last night. So were Silicon Valley and Veep.

WCS

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Unsurprised

I know child abuse is wrong, but watching child actors get slapped will never not be funny and/or cathartic—for all the times I wished I could smack someone when I was a kid or smack some poor excuse for a parent’s bastard brood.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

“I know child abuse is wrong”

All right Mr. Enlightened, slow down.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

Not the trap I expected from Moose.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

USE YOUR MIND BULLETS, GRODD!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Kungjitsu

Nashville also has Prince’s Chicken Shack. Their chicken and fish is a little on the spicy side.

Kungjitsu

Sure, just put the comment wherever you think it should go, DFO.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

‘Chicken’ and ‘too spicy’ don’t really belong in the same sentence IMO.

Here is a Shat Sack:

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
scotchnaut

Salmon stir fry. I think I just won everything.

Unsurprised

Excellent choice.

JustStopDude
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

It’s a shame he didn’t go airborne.

“I can see my house from heeeeeere!”

scotchnaut

If you get the Viceland channel, Eddie Huang is your new best friend.

scotchnaut

“Can you *bleep* it?” by the character Cyrus was wayyyy out of bounds though.

Unsurprised

If people really wanted to make a difference, they’d boycott and protest BofA, which is NC’s biggest corporation by miles.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

People are generally more interested in meaningless gestures than actual results. You know, like supporting Bernie.

Unsurprised

I know, I know.

...

Zing!

WCS

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You want a bad night? Try sleeping on one of these!

Unsurprised

Better on than in.

JustStopDude

http://www.ijoonline.com/articles/2012/46/4/images/IndianJOrthop_2012_46_4_434_98832_f5.jpg

This fucking shit keeps me up at night…

And its perfect evidence as to how fucking pathetic enlistment standards were for the USN prior to 9-11…

scotchnaut

“I caught a Keith Urban concert…”

What kind of antibiotic does one take for that?

Unsurprised

Whatever it is, I’m sure he’s shilling the fuck out of it.

Unsurprised

If you’re bitten, it’s already too late.

King Hippo

I thought it would be Ice MRSA vs Ice #BFIB that would equal Bettman Seppuku. Anyway, I want the exact opposite of that.

King Hippo

opposite finals series, I mean. Dead Bettman would be TOTES awesomesauce

scotchnaut

Did you catch that your college ball club squeaked out a get over Cuse for a 7 footer that recently scored 91 points in an under-18 game? If not, get to know the name (I’m not kidding) Omer Yurtseven. Apparently he’s a 2017 lottery pick.

/flips Hippo the bird

King Hippo

MG works the waiver wire purty good. We just need Omer to convince Malik Abu that it is Allah’s will that he come back FOAR his junior season so we actually have a starting five.

/we will still fuck it up

//or the NCAA clearinghouse that let U*NC cheat will fuck him over

scotchnaut

I follow a couple of Cuse blogs and this guy seemed to drop out of nowhere. If we manage to snag Taurean Thompson it’s no big deal. It does look like your next season is looking up though.

/we’d have been a boss is Malachi bothered to stick around…