NFL News & Notes:

• A notion considered hilarious just two years ago, some sites are now projecting the Raiders to win the AFC West. No one wants to put odds on that though, as it might hamper the chances for a move.
• More talk on the Vegas front involving the Raiders. According to SI, bowl cut enthusiast Mark Davis has to square away the funding commitments before he even approaches the relocation committee.

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    You can sure tell Mark Davis isn’t his old man. because in his prime Al would have moved the team, said “fuck you” to Goodell, tried to bed Jones’ mistress, and then sued the ever-living hell out of anyone who raised their voice.

• Right on cue, a Jaguars draft pick has ruined a leg. DB Jalen Ramsey suffered a meniscus tear in his knee. The team is getting a second opinion, but most opinions are that Jags draft picks should be encased in bubble wrap until the start of training camp. 
• Buzzfeed sports wannabe profootballtalk has the results of a Washington Post poll saying 90% of 504 Native Americans surveyed “aren’t bothered” by the name “[*Redacted] s”. Expect merchandise prices to rise 10-15% on this news. Thin-barked New Hickory responded to these results, saying,

“The Washington [*Redacted] s team, our fans and community have always believed our name represents honor, respect, and pride. Today’s Washington Post polling shows Native Americans agree. We are gratified by this overwhelming support from the Native American community and the team will proudly carry the [*Redacted] s name,” Snyder said.

I guess some memes turn out to be true.

Victoria Day:

Under Canadian law, the date is reserved in anniversary of the birth of the monarch. A national commemoration dating from the time of Queen Victoria, an amendment to the Statutes of Canada in 1952 established the celebration of Victoria Day on the Monday preceding May 25. It was renamed Journée nationale des patriotes in Quebec in 2002, commemorating the struggle of Louis-David Papineau and his patriotes to establish “Responsible Government” in Lower Canada.

Informally, it is known as the “May 2-4” weekend, in honour of the unofficial start of summer, and in recognition of the size of a case of beer (outside BC).

In honour of the upcoming long weekends in both countries, and stealing thematically from the Commentist Beer Barrel, please help out my future road trips with examples of your city’s finest microbrews down in the comments. Mentions of “Budweiser” from #BFIB will be summarily ignored.

Boy howdy, did the Penguins show up last night. “Beat them like a government mule” is what good ol’ JR would say. I’d expect another slobberknocker tomorrow night, if only because Tampa is all but out if Pittsburgh goes home up 3-1.

Oh, and there’s this:

which has led to this:

and then to the horrifying this:

GAH! I’m willing to bet Kessel hasn’t looked like that since 9th grade. He probably also had way more body hair; I bet his mullet would have equalled prime-90s Shawn Michaels. Maybe they can get Tampa resident and future Gawker owner Hulk Hogan to come out in a Bolts jersey and take a superkick during the ceremonial faceoff. I hear he’s not busy these days and needs the work.

Hey, speaking of Fat Phils, Mickelson paying back almost a million dollars due to insider trading makes me laugh. He’s not being charged, but the guy who gave him the deets is. That’s an important lesson kids – just the tip gets you fucked.

So much for writing off the Warriors this early, but what idiot (Art Schlichter) would do that?. Some of those Steph Curry shots in the third quarter were ridiculous, both in concept and execution. Imagine the King up there imitating Serge Ibaka; that’s as close as he got to bothering the MVP all night.

Matches of the Day!

NHL: Blues @ Sharks – 9:00

NBA: Raptors @ Cavs – 8:30

Remember, I’m asking for microbrews. Because the list of favorite overall beers

IS DEPRESSING!